What if the relationship is not going well? by EUN Partnership aisbl

What if the relationship is not going well. Trudy Ciantar

2023-06-05 12:07:58 UTC

It is not always clear what a parent wishes to say especially when the conversation is about the difficulties that their children are experiencing at school, I beleive that practising active listening can help parents share their thoughts and concerns without interruption. Moreover, asking open-ended questions to seek clarification is the right approach, by encouraging parents to elaborate and provide concrete examples to gain deeper insights.

Emotions are inevitable during heavy conversations so embracing empathy and recognising and validating the parents' emotions will show understanding and support. It is also important to remain calm and composed to help diffuse tense situations. There is nothing wrong with pausing the conversation to reflect if emotions become overwhelming until both the parents and the educator regain composure.

The helping field can be quite difficult to handle and having a good support system is in my opinion necessary. When situations feel like getting out of hand, it's important to seek support. This can be done by reaching out to colleagues, mentors or support networks to share your experiences. Practising self-care is also a good way to deal with difficult situations by engaging in exercises, hobbies or spending time with loved ones. Also, participating in professional development opportunities will enhance the educator's skills to better handle complex discussions in the future.

Simona (Italy)

simonaappignanesi1 — 2023-06-05 16:42:36 UTC

It must be assumed that parents with children with special needs have had a very complex experience, not only in the school environment but presumably also in the relationship with the specialists who have it in charge or at other times when the child found himself interacting with other children. You have to be ready to face a conversation that can sometimes degenerate and be able to manage the meeting with calm and empathy. We must give parents the certainty of being really attentive to the needs of the student, who is not a problem for the school but a resource for the class, a reason for growth for all the other students, who will be actively involved in the integration and integration. In addition to parents, it would be important, as happens in our schools, that the specialist who follows the student is present, who can give his objective point of view and who can help to mediate between school and family. The teacher or teachers, who should not be much larger than the parents, in order not to make them feel in a situation of subjection, must have an attitude available and be listening.

Nusreta, Croatia

fazlic_nusreta — 2023-06-05 19:08:24 UTC

I would first listen to the parents, by confirming and nodding, I would show that I understand them and sympathize with their worries and fears.I would ask questions, rhetorical questions related to their child, until they came to a solution, i.e. what is really bothering them.

Alenka, Croatia

2023-06-06 06:27:23 UTC

Active listening is important with no interruptions. It is good to ask open-ended questions to give parents the opportunity to talk openly. After that you could reflect on parents' statements and paraphrase them just to make sure you understand them correctly. In the end we should come to a solution that we all agree upon. The teacher should remain calm during the whole conversation.

Nikolina, Croatia

ninasmrecki — 2023-06-06 12:06:11 UTC

During a difficult conversation, it is not always clear what parents want, so it is important to monitor non-verbal communication, ask clear and open questions, reflect their emotions, paraphrase and summarize what was said, and check if we understand well what they told us.

During the conversation I try to remain calm and show understanding. If parents come angry and feel the need to shout, I speak in a lower voice, after which parents usually calm down.

After a complex discussion, talking with fellow experts, exchanging ideas and experiences helps me. What would help the most is regular supervision.

Romina Marchesani, italy

rominamarchesani2 — 2023-06-06 13:31:51 UTC

Parents and teachers should get along well. There may be disagreements, but there should always be proactive communication from both sides.

What if the relationship is not going well.

2023-06-06 14:45:27 UTC

Educators need to listen to the parents and understand their concerns and make it clear and check if they have understood the parents correct to avoid any further misunderstandings. It is important that meeting end well where parents feel that they can easily communicate with the school, feel understood and welcomed.

Mihaela Paduraru Comanoiu - Romania

padurarumihaela2012 — 2023-06-07 02:07:29 UTC

I think every teacher had "difficult discussions" with some parents...

Managing them is an "act of pedagogical mastery"!!!

The tact and "diplomacy" with which parents should be treated, along with honesty, make parents more open and communication better. As a teacher, I think you know when a parent would like something more. How to get them to tell you honestly what he wants depends on what kind of relationship you have built before...

Simona G/Romania

simonageo18 — 2023-06-07 15:57:28 UTC

I think that all of us have had some „difficult coversations” at some point. I certainly had.

It is very important to empathize with the parents, to let them know you understand their situation, to pay attention at any sign and to read betwen words. They come along with a background, not always a positive one, and their experience influence the way they approach you.

If the conversation is difficult you have to be open minded, perhaps share your experience with your colleagues and ask for their opinion or ask for support from school manager. Together you will make the best decisions.

Irene Confalone

confalone — 2023-06-07 17:25:41 UTC

I think we have to stay calm and quiet and respect our time and parents' time. Sometimes those two different feelings don't coincide. the teacher must find the right moment

Katerina Dimou, Greece

katerina4dimou — 2023-06-08 15:43:15 UTC

It is true that things are not always ideal. Communication between parents and teachers is often quite difficult, because the parents are confused and they have a negative attitude towards the teacher. Although it is difficult, the teacher must remain calm, present facts regarding the pupil's situation in class and with kindness and patience he/she will face any difficulty.

Igor CROATIA

igor_nikicic — 2023-06-09 08:07:46 UTC

The teacher who has a daily relationship with the child and a good relationship of trust with the parents should conduct the conversation. For those who are less familiar with the child and the family, they can play a coaching role. Parents can also bring a supporting person. It is important to let the parent tell you about the home context first and to show understanding for their emotions, paying attention to non-verbal signals. Teachers should be real and sincere and name their own feelings/frustration in a calm way, using the "I" pronoun. They should actively listen to what parents say and try to understand any underlying messages. Sharing concerns with parents may be shocking, and several discussions may be needed before seeking external services. Teachers should pay attention to the different points of view and always ask parents how they feel after a difficult conversation, as well as the need for a follow-up conversation. Clear agreements should be made with the parents about the approach and feedback to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Vesna North Macedonia

2023-06-09 12:45:53 UTC

When there is an unpleasant teacher-parent conversation, we cannot always clearly understand what he wants to achieve.
This is because we represent our professional position and parents do not want to hear certain things about their children.
If the parents cannot clearly say how they think, then their non-verbal communication should be monitored and the cause-and-effect relationships for such behavior should be found and a strategy should be made.
After the conversation is over, everyone should tell each other what was on their mind and find a way to prevent it from happening again.

Mihaela, Romania

emikkaela — 2023-06-10 08:41:01 UTC

Sometimes, even if both parties are driven by good-will and wish for the best of the child, difficulties in conversations might occur. I think it is very important to:
- not take it personally and try to understand the intention beyond emotions;
- show respect and clarify opinions in friendly terms;
- show empathy and understanding;
- check meaning, analyse problems, offer and discuss solutions.
After addressing a complex discussion, the teacher should take some moments of reflection, and try to understand that as difficult as it might be for him/her, as a teacher, for the parent is even more difficult, so he/she should be sympathetic and kind.

Debora - Kenya

deborangina — 2023-06-10 09:53:45 UTC

As a teacher one needs to put himself /herself in the learner's parent's shoes and try to understand their perspective. Show empathy and validate their feelings, which can help them feel heard and understood.

Brigitta, Croatia

brigittajanesres — 2023-06-10 13:04:34 UTC

I think it is crucial to develop a trusting relationship between teachers and parents. Both parties work for the benefit of the child. It is not always easy with a child, neither for a parent nor for a teacher. You should be honest about your feelings, but in such a way that others do not perceive it as an attack or accusation. Frustrations are possible on both sides, but if there is good will, there is no obstacle to solving them.

A good relationship between parent and child is the key to the child's success. Sometimes it may be necessary to involve a team of special experts, but all with the aim of helping the child.

Good cooperation is possible, but with a lot of time during which we will develop an equal and collaborative relationship.

What if the relationship is not going well

2023-06-15 15:04:56 UTC

Sometimes it is hard to understand parents wishes. I try to calm them and ask them more questions about theme.
After difficult conversation I usually take a short break and I breath some fresh air or eat a candy.
We should have more educations how to take care about own mental health.

Simona J, Romania

2023-06-16 20:20:58 UTC

We can certainly encounter difficulties in our relations with our parents. To improve communication we continue to maintain a friendly, calm manner, we actively listen to parents' concerns. By presenting the situation to specialists or colleagues, one can find a way to overcome difficulties in relations with parents.

Maria, Romania

2023-06-20 20:19:00 UTC

When we have to solve complex problems, tensions and different opinions appear between teachers and parents. It is important to show empathy and make them feel heard. Sometimes problems arise from a lack of proper communication and we all need to work on improving this. To solve a problem we can ask for the help of a school counselor to mediate and bring the discussion to the benefit of the child.

v.dogani

2023-06-21 10:31:53 UTC

I try to help them and to tell to discuss with them.

Ana

2023-06-21 15:06:26 UTC

Parents often get emotionally excited when they come to school and sometimes forget to clearly verbalize everything they wanted to say, I advise them to prepare a paper on which they will list everything they think is important.
I contact them by phone so I can identify and eliminate their potential fears and doubts regarding the meeting with the school staff. I want them to feel our good intentions and the need to solve problems as efficiently as possible, to the satisfaction of everyone.
It is important to listen carefully to parents, accept their concerns and constantly offer cooperation and support, direct the conversation towards solving the problem.
Over the years, I have learned to maintain emotional distance and professionalism, while at the same time showing care and support.
After difficult conversations, talking with colleagues helps me, we support each other and advise on future steps.

Menada

cankjam — 2023-06-21 15:08:11 UTC

Teachers need to listen to the parents and understand their worries.They need to stay calm and to be sure that their child will be good in school.

Gabriela Elena Alexandrescu

2023-06-21 16:54:48 UTC

The relationship between parents and teachers must be based on trust and respect. The needs of the child are the needs that must guide both parents and teachers.That is why there must be active and constructive listening from both sides. Passive listening will not work.

Edita J.

2023-06-28 19:46:35 UTC

In order to achieve a result, it is necessary to communicate and cooperate with parents as much as possible, explaining to them all difficulties and solutions

Luminița Dulgheru, România

2023-06-30 01:50:38 UTC

It îs much better to comunicate with parents of students whole the time.

Dimitra

dkotsiopoulou — 2023-09-06 15:13:16 UTC

You jmust try harder . Its so important to communicate as much aw possible . The goal is common. Its the pupil.