https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq Select one of the following prompts: Select 1 of the paragraphs in the essay you analyzed, what changes would you make to ensure that is a level 4? Prove that these changes would strengthen this essay. Or Select 1 of the paragraphs in the essay you analyzed, what what score does the paragraph deserve? Explain why this is the score this paragraph deserved. en-us 2016-10-31 18:12:25 UTC 2016-10-31 20:04:00 UTC hello@padlet.com lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134332574 I rated the introduction 1- below basic for the Focus grade]]> 2016-10-31 19:02:14 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134332574 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134334264 What proof can you provide, for your rating Monseratt? ]]> 2016-10-31 19:08:41 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134334264 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134339452 I agree with Monse
 the writer does not stick to one side]]> 2016-10-31 19:29:48 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134339452 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134339625 besides all of the grammar, yes the thesis is bad 
it is all wrong]]> 2016-10-31 19:30:27 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134339625 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134339748 I did not get what this essay was about 

but then i  remembered I saw something about the plague on tv.   yeah but still I was still confused by this person’s writing.  ]]> 2016-10-31 19:30:58 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134339748 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134339882 - Good connection Gisell- I know that you have not covered the topic in your History Class yet.  

Try to focus on what the writer includes in the intro.  even if you do not know about the topic you can determine if the thesis, for example, is well written.]]> 2016-10-31 19:31:35 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134339882 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134340125 How can you pick both sides of the arguemnet its like they should make up their mind ]]> 2016-10-31 19:32:42 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134340125 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134340325 The person does not stick to one side of the argument. ]]> 2016-10-31 19:33:35 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134340325 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134340613 I would have  selected the negative side of the arguement.  But not both the negative and positive
something like- The effects of the Black Death were negative because.]]> 2016-10-31 19:34:57 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134340613 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134340701 plus the writer does not state specifically the supporting reasonsThey only write ....."because of society , religion and economy".


]]> 2016-10-31 19:35:30 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134340701 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134340868 i agree with erik because the writer should have said what in or about society was negative?  But i mean if the person writing this paper cant makeup there mind about what side to argue- how can they prove it?]]> 2016-10-31 19:36:23 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134340868 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341114 Yes!!! that is what i was going to say next.  The supporting reasons are all bogus....I mean weak.]]> 2016-10-31 19:37:34 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341114 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341221 Stop looking at my screen Monse j/k

If i were to rewrite this thesis I would begin it the way monse did  and select the negative side.  Right now i cant think of a positive reason for any disease but 

The Black Death had negative effect in Europe because it 
1.  killed many people
2- economy suffered because there were less people to work 
3??  I got to think of a 3rd reason]]> 2016-10-31 19:38:09 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341221 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341401 the 3rd reason can be that 
the way peopled were burried changed or 

religous ritutuals were forgotten-what do ya think?]]> 2016-10-31 19:39:03 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341401 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341648 yes!  maybe we can put your idea with topic of religion.  Cuz you needed a priest for a funeral, right?  idk]]> 2016-10-31 19:40:14 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341648 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341799 o now each supporting reason can belong to one of the prides categories.  
1 social-
2 econimic
3  religious
I mean if we stick to the thesus that monse and erik have been writting]]> 2016-10-31 19:41:02 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341799 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341949 Sorry erik but i am gonna to have to say that your first supporting reason is still kinda plain ]]> 2016-10-31 19:41:50 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134341949 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134342102 Yup I see her point sorry erik]]> 2016-10-31 19:42:39 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134342102 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134342294 ooooooo no she didnt!  so how would you fix it.]]> 2016-10-31 19:43:28 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134342294 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134342407 ok.   How about-
all of society suffered because the plague did not descriminate with the rich or poor, 
you know cuz every persons life was affected in one way or another because of this disease killing everyone.  well not everyone but many  ]]> 2016-10-31 19:44:04 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134342407 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134342710 Wow!  look at the thinking process and evolution of simply the thesis statement.  

You all have not had a chance to discuss the rest of the introduction.   But that is ok.  What does this tell us about the thesis statement?]]> 2016-10-31 19:45:24 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134342710 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134342960 I hate to admit it but my english teacher is right. ]]> 2016-10-31 19:46:39 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134342960 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343143 yeah, he always says that "a strong essay begins with a strong thesis----and I am going to tell mr murphy you said this.]]> 2016-10-31 19:47:40 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343143 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343270 ha ha-----i guess that is why he has us begin with writing the thesis first before we write anything else.  now i get it]]> 2016-10-31 19:48:29 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343270 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343401 Excellent point, there is no shame in admitting that your teacher is saying something for a reason.  I will also email Mr. Murphy and tell him how you all did a great job with evaluating one component of this essay.  ;-)]]> 2016-10-31 19:49:14 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343401 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343484 Noooooooooo! j/k]]> 2016-10-31 19:49:49 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343484 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343666 yeah, he always says that "a strong essay begins with a strong thesis----and I am going to tell mr murphy you said this.]]> 2016-10-31 19:51:07 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343666 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343772 Tell him monse and I will also tell him the eriks new favorite class is english! ha, ha]]> 2016-10-31 19:51:57 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343772 lilitru7 https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343790 Time has run out!  - on padlet, I mean. 

Take a moment to reflect on what you now need help with.  

Tomorrow bring an essay that you are currently writing and you can apply the same rubric for your introduction.]]> 2016-10-31 19:52:06 UTC https://padlet.com/lilitru7/tgpxpa0o5zoq/wish/134343790