Andrew.k Remake of Google Sites Peer Feedback 2021 - 2022 by Andrew Klein https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 17:32:28 UTC 2022-04-29 17:38:25 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f3d2.png I enjoy how he is explaining about how he feels when he gets on the ice. I love the descriptive writing he put. I also enjoy the part when he says sit back and relax. I think he did a great job with this writing piece. 28sbarcellona https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1793963761 2021-10-05 17:49:58 UTC https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1793963761 About Me piece https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1794233300 In your About Me piece I love how you described your different hobbies and likes. I also love how you went into detail with your different topics like when you were talking about how your friends and family mean the world to you I noticed that you added details and a little evidence on why they mean the world to you.If I could add something to your About Me piece for your ending I would add a exclamation point to show that you are excited for people to read about it.]]> 2021-10-05 19:31:52 UTC https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1794233300 Luca Rousseau https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1796621473 Patches, one thing first of all before I say anything is I love that you linked T-Rex run in your piece and I think that’s awesome and creative and you have a great theme of “Patches writing playhouse playhouse” and you introduced yourself and your hobbies well in the beginning.
In your piece the way you describe your hobbies is for example how the ice is “fresh and chilly ice.” And when you're biking you show the reader how “I feel the wind zooming past me.” And you explain that you read about sports by giving examples of your favorite teams “I love the Flyers, Eagles, Sixers, Phillies, and Union Football Club.” And you even explain your strength of painting your ideas into stories and making a picture in the reader's mind.
However I would like to offer up my opinion on this piece, you describe the things that you like such as ice hockey, biking, sports teams, etc… but you could elaborate what really stands or pops out to you in your opinion, It could be biking to a special place or around the block and. Even with friends and and then describing the wind zooming past you, or ice hockey you could tell your position what your favorite part mid game is or what you just enjoy mostly other than the ice itself. Elaboration is key in a story so the reader may really get to know you and understand what you meant and are talking about.


]]> 2021-10-06 14:08:03 UTC https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1796621473 Dani L 28dlameira https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1796844517 This was really good but I do have a suggestion, I think you could elaborate more on why you love hockey. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading your about me!]]> 2021-10-06 15:05:42 UTC https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1796844517 Cj Okorie https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1797350920 Their intro was amazing because of the way he put so much detail into it. They put  so much detail and choices in what words to choose. They talked about things they love and things that make them happy, which is a good thing but they talked a little too much about it.


]]> 2021-10-06 17:44:43 UTC https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1797350920 28ajilani https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1800236484 I really enjoyed your writing piece, it had great detail and i could relate with some parts, like bike riding. I like how you describe what you like and don’t like. I think your writing doesn’t have anything wrong except you could add a little detail of your dislikes. Overall, your writing was quite enjoyable :)]]> 2021-10-07 15:35:33 UTC https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/1800236484 Ziema Z. (your bestie) https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/2082002039 Hi, Andrea! I thought your essay was so good and well written! I really like all of your descriptive and persuasive words and all of the figurative language you used. I also really liked how you started with “Imagine millions of dollars bursting from a man's wallet.” That really made me want to read more. I thought yours was so good that I do not have a wish.


]]> 2022-03-07 16:10:11 UTC https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/2082002039 Essay - Emily https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/2084638229
Hi Andrew, Thanks for suggesting yourself, but one thing I liked about your piece was the description, such as words like “bursting, flashing, passion, intense, spark, ect” they accentuated the piece by a landslide. One thing that I would change about this piece was when you said “Inthe end, Sports are teaching kids respectful life lessons that will help them the future paths ahead of them.  “ If you seperate the “In” and the “the” this will surely make more sense. Another thing I liked about your piece was when you said “Staying in shape can reduce the chance of cancer and remove stress.” I think this sentence shows the reader how beneficial sports can be for kids. And because cancer is such a bad thing for anyone this grabs the reader.]]> 2022-03-08 18:47:57 UTC https://padlet.com/28aklein1/tgpr8zib2yy7oww/wish/2084638229