I have always adored One Direction. They were a significant portion of my childhood, to the extent I learned to play the guitar to play at least one song of theirs. My mom loves them, my cousins love them, too. It all started when my mom made me watch a music video of One Direction in 2012, and that's when my delusions with Harry Styles began. I'm kidding. Jokes aside, I love all members equally, and they have always inspired me with their craft and dedication to music. They still never fail to amaze me, even after all these years.

May Liam Payne find the peace he has always sought for, and may his loved ones heal in time. Fly high, Liam.

The places in this collage are the following:

Palawan (Philippines), Italy, Japan, Iceland, Greece, and the United Kingdom.

Now that I'm older and more mature, I'd like to travel as much as I can and be able to remember the memories I'll be making while being a witness to the diverse cultures they hold and appreciate the breathtaking sights. I want to reflect on my experiences and take good pictures to be able to share them with those who want to travel, as well.

But, I remembered I made a promise to myself this year. It was that this school year won't be all about school and studying. I promised myself I'd make more room for extracurricular activities, spend more time with my loved ones, and reward myself for the smallest things. I want to come back, and I will surely find the time to train again and come back to my coaches and teammates. I don't want to stay and leave senior high with my world revolving around only academics. Although academics are important, I'd still love to do the things I love. I miss my teammates, seniors, and coaches who have looked for me when I took a break and who truly cared for me and were proud of the smallest achievements I made. I miss the pain and sweat post-training and the feeling of progressing, the feeling of being productive. I miss seeing my parents grinning and taking videos of me training and the way my coaches had criticized me but only intended to shape me into a better Taekwondo player.

Taekwondo isn't just a sport to me; it is my haven. It is a place where I know I can be vulnerable and it is the source of my fortitude. I will get that black belt, someday.

I didn't enjoy playing the guitar when I was younger because my fingers hurt a lot. But when I saw my father being able to play any song he wanted to, jamming with his friends, and smiling as he played (he was even banging his head), it interested me how he enjoyed it so much even when our fingers' skin peeled as if it were bananas. It still hurts to play certain chords today, but I'm confident that I've improved.

The movies/series I enjoy watching will always be rom-coms and fictional. I enjoy watching Harry Potter since it brings me nostalgia. I love watching Korean series, and if I were to pick a favorite, it would be Twenty-Five Twenty-One, Reply 1988, and Twinkling Watermelon. I also love How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days.

For books, I enjoy reading Percy Jackson and Harry Potter. I'd like to read Greek Mythology next since it has piqued my interest because many of my friends loved reading them, too.

San Pedro Hospital was our second home. He would be confined for weeks and get discharged. After a month or even just a few weeks, he'd get admitted again. We celebrated our birthdays in the hospital and even Christmas, New Year, and Holy Week. You name it.

As a kid, I never really understood the severity of the situation. I didn't know that he was fighting for his life in his hospital bed. I never knew the pain he endured for so many years because of the many injections, surgeries, and suctions. I didn't know that whenever he coughed, it was him gasping for air. I didn't know that whenever he had a fever, it could mean losing him forever. Those things seemed normal to me. Adam getting admitted to the hospital became normal to me, too, because of how frequent it was. I never knew there would come a time when he could be gone entirely.

I was used to having him around. I was used to seeing him, just by our side, lying on the bed, sometimes asleep or wide awake. He wasn't able to speak during his entire life, but he was able to hear. Now that I look back on the past, I wish I had spoken to him more, even though I knew he couldn't reply. I wish I spent time with him more and appreciated him more instead of resenting him.

When I was younger, I felt like I was forced to mature rapidly. By this, I mean thinking like an adult and taking the role of being the eldest seriously. Our life, in the blink of an eye, completely changed overnight. It was a massive adjustment for all of us. I was used to having a comfortable life — a kid with no worries, somehow spoiled being the only daughter and the only niece, always enrolled in summer classes and extracurricular activities, and who always had a heater in the shower room. I had nothing to worry about until I was sick of going back and forth to the hospital. As a kid with such a narrow understanding, going there felt like a chore. At first, I was very concerned, but there came a time when I was sick of how we were always tight on budget, how I wasn't able to go to birthday parties and summer classes because I had to help out my mom in the hospital, and go there after school, and sometimes, spend the night there even on the day of exams. I hated how I spent my summer vacation in a hospital room, a plain, boring, white room, doing almost nothing all day and bathing in water as cold as ice. I just hated everything about it.

On February 21, 2020, Adam passed away. I was angry, sad, in denial, and in shock all at once. We rushed to the hospital, and I remember seeing everyone, including the nurses who took care of Adam, just being silent in the corner, and their eyes glued to the floor. It felt like a nightmare, except that it wasn't. The morning after, we were home and I still couldn't believe it, but everything looked so empty. The bed was empty; oxygen tanks were full and unused, and diapers and syringes were clean. The truth sank in when I saw Adam in the morgue, his eyes and mouth closed when they were always open. He was on cold metal, and his head was laid on rectangular wood, which was always a soft bed and a soft pillow. My heart shattered in a way I couldn't explain. "I was never a good sister to him, and now that he's gone, I can't make it up to him now," I thought. Because of this, I hated myself for a long time and wished I had appreciated him more when he was here, able to hear me but unable to reply.

Now that I'm older, I wish I never blamed him. I used to say, "I love Adam but...". Love should be unconditional, and I regret not doing so while he was still here. I wish I could've been a greater sister who realized sooner that I wasn't the only one suffering because Adam was suffering the most. I hope I loved him unconditionally, without any resentment.

Today, I'm pursuing pre-science in senior high school and medicine in college because Adam inspired me to. I'll be able to help and save lives, and when I do, I'll always thank my brother for it. Adam, who has fought for almost 4 years, is my inspiration, my life's greatest gift and lesson.

To Adam, you are always loved and remembered. I hope you forgive me, wherever you are. Thank you for coming into our lives because you have made our lives brighter, and you lighted up the whole house with just your presence. I hope to be your sister again in another life, and I am certain that we will meet again in a happier place called heaven.

My parents are Katrina Zara and Joel Rayala. They are the strongest and most supportive people I know and the ones who shaped my life for the better.

I have two brothers, Maverick Bryle Z. Rayala and Adam Xavier Z. Rayala. Bryx and I have an 11-month age gap, and we're the real-life representation of Tom and Jerry. His birthday is on October 31, 2008, and we both grew up in Manila.

The loveliest and kindest Adam was born on April 30, 2016. We never had the chance to argue, but I know I could've taught him how to build Legos.

I have three dogs currently. There's Poochie, the beagle who's always kind and welcoming, and then there's Skylar and Janus, the intimidating ones who are aspins with the biggest hearts. Poochie and Skylar had a daughter named Summer. However, she passed away during the pandemic due to distemper.