Eng. 12 Personal Statement Plans for Revision by Gretchen Monroe https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4 en-us 2025-09-10 20:49:14 UTC 2025-09-15 17:26:37 UTC hello@padlet.com Instructions gmonroe4 https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3578819379

  • Click the + to make a pad

  • Put your name at the top.

  • Based on the feedback, make a plan for revision.

    • ]]>     2025-09-10 20:50:39 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3578819379     Drew Mittan https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582198763 Work on adding more sensory details and double check punctuation. Work on incorporating more vocabulary to further add depth. Make sure that personal growth is clear within the story.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 14:18:03 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582198763     Ezra Bird https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582202741 Add more transition words, fix run-on sentences, add better/more vocab, and a deeper personal connection. Maybe add to the word count

    ]]>     2025-09-12 14:19:44 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582202741     Nolan Engel https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582203162 Add more details and work on spelling and grammar.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 14:20:03 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582203162     Paxton Bailey https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582207276 Work on better transitions from paragraph to paragraph. Needs more sentence variety. I need to add more sensory details.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 14:22:54 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582207276     https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582207699 I am going to work on improving some of the vocab I used as well as a couple of sentence structures. My writing will also benefit from a little bit more detail.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 14:23:14 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582207699     Andy Carlosn https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582207751 Separate into more detailed paragraphs and work on sentence flow. Add more vocabulary and get rid of run on sentences.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 14:23:17 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582207751     Luke Farmen https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582218178 I need to change a lot,

    I want to change sentence structure.

    My vocabulary needs changed

    I need to shorten it

    and take out and add parts

    ]]>     2025-09-12 14:29:05 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582218178     Ryder Dworak https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582220726 I am going to work on adding better vocabulary. Also to not be repetitive in my sentences and use different sentence starters. Add more sensory details.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 14:30:07 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582220726     using stronger words in some areas, adding some more details to make it more engaging and interesting. Better start to the essay, add a good attention getter https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582233299 2025-09-12 14:37:46 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582233299 Jaedon Welton jaedonwelton https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582239782 I am working on spelling and much better punctuation. Especially not leaving the reader on cliff hanger, a need for a better ending.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 14:42:33 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582239782     addison ramsey https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582352425 I want to add more sensory details, create a better driving point, and include better vocabulary.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:08:36 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582352425     Natalie Will https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582352831 add more details and fix punctuation

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:08:58 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582352831     Skyler Rexilius https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582352980


    I plan to make it more vulnerable and more complex sentences. I will also better explain core values throughout the essay.


    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:09:08 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582352980     Jackson Perkins https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582354488 I needed more transition words and needed to elaborate a little more on certain things. I said some of the same things multiple times.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:10:28 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582354488     Dawson t https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582355691 I want to work on making my sentences flow better by combining some to make it easier to read. Also make it clear what my core values of the writing are without stating them

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:11:32 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582355691     Brady McCullough :) https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582355756 I need to add more about how it affected me mentally and physically, good sensory details but I need more vocab to make it more engaging to read.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:11:36 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582355756     Maddox Eppenbach https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582356517

  • I want to have better sentence structure

  • Add more diverse vocab

  • Don't repeat the same things over and over again

    • ]]>     2025-09-12 16:12:19 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582356517     Joshua Parsons https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582358183 I plan to make the flow of mine better, more smooth, and I plan to work on not repeating ideas and words or phrases

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:13:40 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582358183     Moses Dove https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582361060 I need to use more vocabulary and I want to end the essay with more detail.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:15:58 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582361060     Ben howe https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582362100 Kinda wrote in a rush to meet a a deadline, still working on core values for it. Still showing a lot more than telling and that's good but I need to lock in more on fleshing ideas out.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:16:49 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582362100     Ben McKee https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582362662 I need to expand more on the details

    I need to use better vocabulary

    I think I told more than I showed, which isn't good

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:17:18 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582362662     Merrick Vest https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582362807 I plan to expand on details and reshape a lot of my sentences with better vocabulary throughout as well. I can also explain how the lessons I learned apply to my current life rather than just what I learned.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:17:25 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582362807     David Krogh https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582364757 Work on making the transitions between paragraphs better. Could possibly start with a story sooner switch up paragraph order. could add some more adjectives or descriptions for words. rework some sentences and change up some vocab.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:19:17 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582364757     Jamison Carter Thies https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582364803 I needed to add more sentence types so it is more interesting. I also plan to add some dialogue or a quote to make the reader more interested. Also could go more in depth with my vocabulary words!

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:19:22 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582364803     Ryan Grosse https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582365146 -Add variety

    -Focus on impact


    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:19:45 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582365146     Simon Crawford https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582369547 I need to make my sentence structures have more variety. Better transition words could help flow between paragraphs. I also had some run-ons, so I have to fix those.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:22:13 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582369547     Isaiah Arensdorf https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582369965 more variety in transition words

    be more descriptive of the journey and add more content

    make sentences sound better and have better vocab.

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:22:38 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582369965     Jackson Zuspan https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582370972 -add smoother transitions

    -talk about how mentally I grew from the pain

    -correct a few minor errors in grammar

    ]]>     2025-09-12 16:23:36 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3582370972     Reagan Long https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3584121641 I plan to lead into the ending more and not making it feel abrupt. I will also add more personal details and descriptive words so that it adds to the growth of the story.

    ]]>     2025-09-14 20:40:50 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3584121641     Cordi Badeer https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3585927983 I'm planning on weaving my core values in better, and express more of the psychological/emotional truth, which means trying to dive deeper into more specifics of the story i'm telling instead of leaving it a vague overview.

    ]]>     2025-09-15 17:26:35 UTC https://padlet.com/gmonroe4/t825rcildk4gw8g4/wish/3585927983