Cold bones, yeah, that's my love
She hides away, like a ghost

Ooh, does she know that we bleed the same?
Ooh, don't wanna cry but I break that way

Cold sheets, oh, where's my love?
I am searching high
I'm searching low in the night

Ooh, does she know that we bleed the same?
Ooh, don't wanna cry but I break that way

Did she run away? Did she run away? I don't know
If she ran away, if she ran away, come back home
Just come home

I got a fear, oh, in my blood
She was carried up into the clouds, high above

Ooh, if you've bled, I bleed the same
Ooh, if you're scared, I'm on my way

Did you run away? Did you run away? I don't need to know
If you ran away, if you ran away, come back home
Just come home

Reasons:

I like this song because it resemble the emptiness in your heart when you search something that is long gone in this world. In my opinion, its one of the worst feeling that human can feel but unfortunately every single one of us will feel this feeling at least twice in our lifetime if we live long enough. Its like having immortality, you'll see the world ending in front of your eyes as you start to move in the deep dark void of the universe without anyone

Name : Nik Muhammad Khairie Amshar

Class : 2K6

Age : 14 y/o

Generally people called me with the shorten version of my third name which is Khai. I got that name from PPCS and I liked it which is why i keep it until today.

I have 3 siblings and I'm the middle child. I know about the stereotype where middle child don't get enough attention but for me I got all the attention I need from my parent.

That's it for my biography, if you want to know a lot more about me, you should read my padlet and meet me in person instead

I want to visit this place as not only a visitor but also as a student. As a DIP student, my goal is to get offered by Forward College to continue my studies there during Level 1. I'll admit it, it's hard to go there considering that I will be competing with people from my batch. I think I will have a brighter future if I can go there.

I first know about jared during the holidays before entering Kpp. I do a lot of research about kpp and found him winning many competitions, I was really amazed, thus why I made him my role model. Then during my first day here, I tried searching for him but unfortunately he already graduated. Then I ask my seniors about his phone number and we started to talk. After a few months I think we come to a point where I can call him my bestfriend.

1) House Captain Sapphire

2) President of BBSM

3) Co-President for Digital Maker

4) Co-President for Volleyball

I don't hold positions like PRS, MTP, and SPR because I think they require a lot of effort and I can't focus on my sport. I think I got those positions because I'm friendly with juniors and because of my social skills. I think without Jared, I will always stay an introvert and never get these positions because I changed my personality to ambivert once I realized I would never achieve what Jared would if I stayed an introvert.

I also crush my goal of reading more books. I read a lot more books compared to last year. I set a goal this year to read at least 5 books this year (around 300+ pages each).

Time management and self-discipline. Now, this is the hard part: time management and self-discipline are skills I've been working on and off since I'm afraid of burning out. It's hard to really master these two skills (if it's even possible at all), but I know it will really pay off if I work on them.

Shadows of days that once were bright, Softly linger in the mind's sight, A heart's old song, a gentle sigh, Nostalgia's touch, a sweet goodbye.

Not making progress is also annoying for me but it all come down to my mindset which is why I always repeat to myself "It is what it is".

one of the day which people have awaited for the entire year, the day we seek forgiveness from our teachers, we give gifts to our beloved teachers. On this day, I don't have enough time to prepare any present, i could only buy the flowers but I was in a rush so couldn't fill the form with every teachers name. sorry :( .

On this day, me, Iffat, Harris and Irsyad went out. We don't plan this day much; in fact, I don't even know where we are going and just go with the flow. This day really gave me a sense of what friendship should be like. We went to the supermarket to buy food, and we also played bowling (for the first time in my life). When we played it, I imitated someone who I knew played a lot of bowling before, and I beat Harris and Iffat. Irsyad was getting a haircut at the time, at the time, so he couldn't play with us. After that, we went back to college and continue with our life.

That day, when we went to vote, I really got confused by the MTP name from Bangi. I think that's one way people can get votes by being friendly to juniors from Bangi. Nonetheless, I voted for people who I think deserve the position. After that, the question most people ask you is: "Who do you vote for?" I think it's the same thing as people asking your CGPA after the result gets released. I don't really care about that and usually just keep it a secret.

Prior to the election, I heard rumors about people being forced to fight for the position. I feel bad for them, but I can't do anything about it.

I likes to do research on running like reading research paper online. I also likes to do it old-shool way, where I read old books to look at the history of running training.

I also did lots of research on geniuses in the past like albert einstein, nikola tesla and Isaac Newton but I don't think its practical as a student who live in a hostel.

When the announcements are done and all students are allowed to go back to hostels. I saw a few people crying because they won and others because they lost. I felt bad for them, but it was out of my control, and I think they put up a good fight, but life is not all sunshine and rainbows.

I went back to the hostel with a new perspective on life. I couldn't help but think about the person who lost. They broke their promises, which they may have made with their parents, friends, and lecturers, but at the end of the day, life is life; "it is what it is."

One of the things that annoys me the most is not making progress toward my goals. This happened a lot to me before, but I just thought it was not putting enough effort in the correct way. Which is why I made researching and reading my main hobbies.

There's a few lesson I can apply to my life and also the skill of playing hockey will pay off during semester 2 since we're going to learn hockey for our PE subject

Here's the story of how I started calisthenics. At our primary school, we like to arm wrestling with each other , like always I want to be the best one but I don't have the skill yet for it.

As i dive deeper into the world of arm wrestling, I discovered bodybuilding and started doing it. Then after a while, I saw a video about calisthenics and made my mind to commit only to calisthenics and do whatever it takes

At first, I struggle a lot with calisthenic, even considered to abandoned it, but I felt like its a normal process to go through and kept reminding me of my promise then I got my first skill.

Unfortunately, when I entered KPPN i started to went off track and not doing calisthenics anymore. I would consider myself as retired but it was a fun phase in my life!

Lyric:

-

Reasons :

I like to use this as my go to music for studying since it don't have any lyric that could disrupt me. I also liked it since it resemble the emptynees of this life. To remind me to go all in in this life. The struggle I've been through and also other people struggle. Honestly, It gave me a feeling that couldn't be articulated by words but only by feelings

I've watched a few videos summarizing this book to try to grasp the concept of this book. Apparently, the author, which is Marcus Aurelius, wrote this book personally to himself and never had the intention to publish it.

This book is also associated with a philosophy teaching called stoicism. There are other philosophy teachings like Nihilism, Existalism, and others. I want to learn each of them one by one, starting with stoicism, and maybe the next one is Nihilism.

Overall, I think this is a good book, especially if you want to remodel your thinking and behavior.

This outing is not with my friend but its with by cousins who study at UKM. Unfortunately when I come back to Bangi during F3 he would graduate.

This outing was during Ramadhan and we bought a whole lot of food to keep at my hostel. I think the total came out at RM 100+ for foods only.

When I came back to my room, I just sent my Outing Card to the warden and went back to my room

By this time, I usually hear people say things like "I should have go for the election" to themselves. For me, I 'm not going for MTP for many reasons which I'll keep as a secret

When I saw the result, I was little bit shock for a few people who won the election but I guess there must be a reason why they won ━━(￣ー￣*|||━━

In my personal opinion, I'm quite passionate about being an athlete but I just couldn't get access to the right training philosophy. We can say I'm in the mid of finding my training philosophy.

Malaysia is also one of the country where its easy to be an athlete in my opinion. Just look at Malaysia's track and field record, if we compare it with US high school record, US high school record would be faster.

Since this is my second option for career, Athlete may be just another hobby I do until university level. If i couldn't make it my career until university, I think I'll retire from being an athlete.

Every once in a while, I try to watch the videos again to remind me of all of these habits. Truth be told, I also don't apply this to my life in certain situation. I also need some reminder to apply these things in life.

When the gun fire, I got a few goosebumps and feeling nervous even when running. After a while, I kind of turn off my brain to focus on the run.

When the pace seems to stabilize, I decided to go a bit faster but the pace is still manageable. Suddenly, BOOM I couldn't run, I stop running to reduce the pain but still jogged at a slow pace, I saw Ivan passing me. Its a soul crushing moment for me. After a while, I start to run again whilst biting my Sapphire T-Shirt to shift my attention

When I finished the race, I felt really disappointed to find I came out at number 6 and behind another sapphire. I couldn't run with my feet since I injured it. I couldn't play any sport for the next 2 days to not injure my leg more. I felt really disappointed in me.

I talked with Jared about it and he helped me to reduce the mental weight it had on me. At the end of the day "It Is What It Is".

The nature also helps me to think clearly, which leads me to ask philosophical questions. This usually will lead me to remodel my thinking style and improve whatever aspect of my life is being questioned.

Usually when I study, I'll play calming nature sounds. I hear the bird chirping, the sound of a waterfall, and others; it helps me to sooth out and create a perfect environment to study in.

Nature is also a place where I spent a lot of my time as a child. It's a place where me and my childhood friends play together. Nature is a place where humanity can get to know each other.

One of the events I like is 100 m. Currently my PR stands at around 14 sec. I'm planning to break sub 14 sec before turning 15, but being a middle distance runner doesn't give me the opportunity to train for shorter distances. Middle distance also has a carryover effect to 100 m, but not as much as when I completely focused on 100 m only.

Overall, I think sprinting is an event where everyone can try it out.

Injury is one of the things that scares me the most. I always do what I can to prevent injury and treat it if I have one. Normal athletes like basketball players, football players, and volleyball players will also hate injuries. Not only will it decrease our fitness and make us lose our skills. It is also insanely frustrating to gain back those fitness

Injury also affects athletes not just physically but mentally. I usually don't think too much about my injury and just proceed with life to reduce my concern, like I always said, "It Is What It Is.".

When we arrived at Bangi, I talked with a few seniors to help me alleviate my nervousness

After sometimes, they start to call for 800m event, I was stunned since we don't have any time to warmup but luckily the event was delayed and we got our chance to warm ip

During the warm up, I felt pain at my ankle and others notice it too but I try not to care about it

When the event started, I don't really have any expectation other than getting a medal and that is exactly what happened. I got bronze for 800m and 400m. Luckily, this year I got to break the curse of getting only bronze by getting silver for 4x400m.

I felt disappointed in me as I train for so long but only got bronze for 400m and 800m. I couldn't really do anything about it.

I went around and talked with a few seniors and heard the announcement of sapphire getting third place overall. It was a soul crushing moment and I saw a few seniors crying. Even our house-cap cried. I don't know what to do, whether to comfort my friends, to cry, feel disappointed.

This year sport week really have a bad ending for sapphire.

Without this book, I would easily fall into the trap of trying to be perfect, which would result in me not achieving anything.

I also combine this book with a concept I learned, which is continuous improvement. Reading this book also checked off one of the goals I set for myself this year, which is to learn more about mindset and to read more books.

Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But, baby, I've been, I've been praying hard
Said no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars
Yeah, we'll be counting stars

I see this life like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
And in my face is flashing signs
Seek it out and ye shall find

Old but I'm not that old
Young but I'm not that bold
And I don't think the world is sold
On just doing what we're told

I feel something so right doing the wrong thing
And I feel something so wrong doing the right thing
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But, baby, I've been, I've been praying hard
Said no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars

Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But, baby, I've been, I've been praying hard
Said no more counting dollars, we'll be, we'll be counting stars

I feel your love, and I feel it burn
Down this river every turn
Hope is our four-letter word
Make that money, watch it burn

Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
And I don't think the world is sold
On just doing what we're told

And I feel something so wrong doing the right thing
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly

Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But, baby, I've been, I've been praying hard
Said no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars

Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But, baby, I've been, I've been praying hard
Said no more counting dollars, we'll be, we'll be counting stars

Oh, take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But, baby, I've been, I've been praying hard
Said no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars

Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But, baby, I've been, I've been praying hard
Said no more counting dollars, we'll be, we'll be counting stars

Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned
Take that money ,watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned

Reasons:

• Whenever I feel energetic or studying something that is not too heavy I would put this in my playlist

• It have an energetic vibes to it making me more energetic

• I used to listen to this song while running last year but I tried to avoid running whilst listening to music this year

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on
So, tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on
So, tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So, why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on
So, tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So, why don't we go?
So, why don't we go?

Ooh, oh-oh
Ah, oh

This could be the end of everything
So, why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know

Reasons:

• I usually listen to this song whenever I want to remember my life before KPPN (I kind of forgot everything that happened before PPCS).

• It has nostalgic vibes, making it my go-to music.

• I think it's the embodiment of the perfect song where it recaps everything that happened to you in the past.

The first factor is the athletes there. I always want to mee coaches there since Norway revolutionized endurance training. I would like to look at their training philosophy and their training insight

The second factor is the view. Imagine if you can visit and look at the view there. Isn't it amazing? and it will really help you de-clutter your brain.

If i could pick a place where I want to go on a holiday. I would probably pick Norway

However, the racing experience was horrible. There are certain events i competed in which made me felt like I want to quit running. There was an event which had me laying down on the ground due to the pain but I'm really grateful for this opportunity because i got to race with my teammates and make the suffering a lot more bearable.

By this mssd I fell in love with an event called the steeplechase. I never know such event exist in track and field. Out of all the events i competed in, i would say 2000m steeplechase was the most fun, maybe because i got to jump and land in the water.

These movies taught me a lot about friendship, ambition and trusting others.

Now I'm picking weightlifting back to further develop strength because I want to focus 800m as my primary race distance.