Unfortunately, I can’t sing due to my vocal cords damage. I used to do it, but I think I did it in the wrong way and didn’t care about the safety, so I had massive damage. Also, I need to improve my mixing and mastering skills as a solo artist.

Here is the whole 20-minute EP I have done by myself and recorded last term. I’m going to talk about each one separately in the following weeks and analyze it and set my goal.

Amar is studying at BIMM and Kieran at Waterbear. Also, Amar introduced a war metal guitarist who is pretty young and isn’t a student, but it looks like he is good. But another issue is that he lives in Lewes. Anyway, Kieran is in his hometown this week, but we set a rehearsal with my last drummer. Also, the last drummer agreed to leave the band due to his situation with his wife, he’s trying to get a divorce.

I sent my tabs to Amar and he learned the song really fast. It was unbelievable for me! Our first rehearsal went well, but our focus was on the first and third songs, the ones the drummer can actually play.

She said fry screaming, especially high-pitched fry, is dangerous for the voice and might affect the vocal cords. But anyway, I don’t feel good about my voice. My throat is always dry, and I feel pain there, maybe because I haven’t found my false cords yet and I’m still doing it the wrong way! I always feel pain and dryness in my throat and generally in my mouth.

I stopped smoking, but it’s hard to quit due to depression and anxiety challenges. I stopped this week, but still, nothing has changed. Once I get disappointed and stressed about it, I go back to smoking again. Such a big shame and despair! But anyway, I shared one of my warm-up recordings here as evidence.

I want to form a complete band for Avazeboz and prepare for our first live performance. This includes finding committed musicians and instrumentalists who share my vision, rehearsing together, and arranging all aspects of our first gig and performance song for assignment.

Measurable:

Success means having a fully formed lineup, at least four songs ready to perform live, and organizing one performance by the end of the term.

Achievable:

This goal is realistic because I have prior experience as a bandleader in Iran’s underground metal scene. I’ve led a death metal band, arranged band activities, and taken part in both musical and theatrical performances. I’ve already composed all songs for the current EP and begun working with potential members.

Relevant:

Live performance is a key part of my artistic vision. Avazeboz is not just a studio project—it is a ritualistic, political, and theatrical black metal act. Performing live will help build a fanbase and express the core message of the band more powerfully than only releasing music. also I need to find some members that we can actually play the song for assignment.

Time-bound:

My deadline is the end of this academic term. By then, I aim to have the band formed, rehearsals running regularly, and at least one gig scheduled or performed.

Specific:

I’m going to get ready and record all the vocal parts for this album, even by myself or finding someone. This goal is a tricky one because I try to get myself ready and learn the screaming techniques but alwayes I feel bad in my throught and I’m afraid if I damaged my voice so takes longer to relief then do the training. Othervise if I coudlt do that by myself I try to find someone.

Measurable:

The goal is completed when all vocal tracks for the album are recorded, and at least one song is performed by me for this term’s assignment.

Achievable:

It is tricky and I might have some challenge, cause the language on this project is Persian and if I want to find someone, it is a low chance to find Iranian metal fans and singer in South England and London, but I know some Iranian dudes in UK even in metal scence (not in South East and London) they might help me. I already have all the lyrics and vox melodies for all songs and just need to do find or do by myself.

Relevant:

As I choose my constructing songs for assignment on this term by two songs of EP, I need to perform one of them by end of the term. This goal is also important because vocals are one of the key parts of finishing the album.

Time-bound:

I need to perform at least one of the songs by end of the term, and record the rest of the vocals as soon as I can, either by myself or with someone.

Specific:

Getting better on specific black metal guitar techniques. I feel this album I have made is kinda multi-genre black metal than authentic black metal. Also I need to learn shredding techniques as a lead guitarist.

Measurable:

How to measure: I need to cover a lot of BM songs. That helps me to learn more about all type of BM composition, increase my creativities and style.

Achievable:

It is achievable cause I play guitar for 8 years (not professionally).

Relevant:

I like to start the second EP strongly authentic black metal or more war metal/grind death and improve my guitar techniques.

Time-bound:

This goal is ongoing, but the progress should support the second EP writing process starting soon, and be active during this term.

so I usually practice it with the backing track, but always while I’m playing with backing track and then in studio, I get confused. because it’s weirdly different and sounds different to me. I can say this is the easiest song I have made because if you pay attention to the elements of riffing you will find it reminds us of the early classic heavy metal or hard rock especially in the verses. first I made this, I wanted to make a speed black metal and use the style of speed and thrash, but I can say it’s more blackened rock, it has various changes like pre intro, outro, verses, bridge, breakdown, bridge, verses, bridge and outro. and in each one we have various drumming and riffing but still connected to each other and follow each other.

But playing guitar alone isn’t enough. I need to sing or at least find a singer , and that’s even harder to do in a foreign country than singing myself. I honestly don’t know what to do. I never imagined this situation would happen. Maybe it’s time to start looking into surgery sessions.

. Another great thing , I found an amazing black metal bassist from a Hellenic black metal band called Vestia. After he listened to the CD demo, he said he’s interested in joining us, which is really great. also received positive feedback from Shayan and other people I gave the demo CD to.

Everything is going well in that case, but the main issue that makes me extremely worried is that I still don’t know what to do about vocals. That’s making me depressed as hell, and I’m scared of losing my opportunities and chances. My voice is damaged , every single word I say hurts , and I need to recover soon. Unfortunately, private surgery is too expensive and I don’t know what to do. I really hope I can figure it out soon.

I believe metal has massive variety, and I can explore different subgenres while staying true to myself. I also believe my chosen songs already have enough constructing elements in terms of tempo, structure, mood, and lyrical concepts. But one of my biggest challenges right now is that I still can’t sing. My throat and vocal cords feel worse after all these days. It’s seriously affecting my mental health and making me extremely disappointed.

I don’t know how I’m going to perform my song if I still can’t sing. One of my strongest constructing elements is based on the lyrics and concept, but since the songs are in Persian, no one really understands the meaning , and that part gets lost.

In general, the situation is really stressful for me. My voice feels damaged, and I’m afraid I’m going to miss my plans. I’m trying to find an Iranian metalhead who can join us and do the vocals instead.

What worries me the most is the vocals. The guys always ask me what I’m going to do about vocals, and that question gives me extreme anxious and overthinking.

I wasn’t able to do my performance assignment, and I’m scared I’ll fail because there’s no vocal track. I feel like it’s ridiculous to just play the riffs without vocals. That’s what I’m thinking, at least , but when I compare my work musically to the other classmates (who mostly play four-chord progressions in alt/punk/emo styles), I still believe my instrumental work is stronger, even without vocals. I just don’t know if it’ll be accepted or not.

Honestly, I’m really disappointed about everything right now. The issue with vocals has become like a nightmare that constantly haunts me , it’s eating away at me.

Why I chose these two and why I think they show construction:

Because the first song is the fastest song of the EP by tempo and rhythm (style), and I can identify it as kind of speed/thrash/punk metal. But on the other hand, the third song is the slowest one by tempo, and the style that I can identify is more like sludge metal!

As I received a feedback in Spark class from one of the emo classmates, she complained that the third song isn’t black metal, and said it’s just sludge or even doom! I mean, that’s a good point, but as I said (and told her as well), black metal isn’t only Norwegian fast tremolo picking with blast beats. Especially recently, we have various types of black metal, and you can identify it as black metal by the style of vocal, text, and many other combined elements ,that gives you the freedom to go through all types of BM.

Also, another element of contrast is the meaning of lyrics. In the first song, you talk about your suffering and situation , it’s a requiem and sad song in meaning, where the god makes you suffer like Prometheus. And interestingly, this song is fast and more energetic.

On the other hand, the down-tempo third song is about when you come back for your revenge to kill god, and you sing god’s requiem.

These are constructing elements in my point of view and I tried to keep the contrast in both formal/musical and conceptual ways.

For my guitar tone, I used my pedals, the tube interface, and the cab simulator built into the interface. My interface is an Audient Sono, which is specifically made for guitar and includes many high-quality cab simulators for both guitar and bass that you can save directly to the unit.

I will upload my guitar tone setup in the next post.

The next one is a tube compressor by EHX called Black Finger that I control the level and dynamic and gain by two pre and power tube amp on that and little bit compressor, so I can get and add a color of tube gains on my tone. The next one is chorus modulation that I recorded the intro of ‘Shabeh Doozakhi’ by that as a clean tone. The last one is my reverb. I usually use the hall reverb as it is common in black metal and in 9 or 10 o’clock.

I barely use my whammy for BM, but I got a plan to make some harmonic melody then I can add whammy to my music career as well like what exactly Death did on some melodic parts of its songs. In all the pedals, I turned fully the tone knob to get a sharp sound. I don’t use any EQ at all but I got a plan to get a graphic EQ and add it to my pedal board. Also there is a three-band EQ in my interfaceI will upload a photo how I set up that one.

My practitioner said I should stop doing any vocal training if it hurts, because I might have a vocal cord injury and need to get a scan and diagnosis. But it’s expensive , just the diagnosis costs around £450. I don’t know what to do. If I pay for that, I’ll lose a lot of money. But if I don’t, I’ll fail all my plans. This is extremely increasing my depression and overthinking.

These days, I feel like I’m just living in a hellish situation and going crazy. This issue is making me extremely worried and stuck in my head. But the only good thing about all this stress is that I’ve been playing guitar like a mad lost man.

• Weeks 1–2:

  I set my SMART goals and started planning the band lineup. I finalized the structure and meaning of the two chosen songs and began practicing the first song’s breakdowns. I also started vocal training, though I felt discomfort in my throat.

• Weeks 3–4:

  Rehearsals started with my Turkish drummer friend, but progress was slow due to his lack of seriousness. I practiced the third song for DAW recording and continued online vocal warm-ups with my teacher from the USA.

• Weeks 5–6:

  I finalized why I chose these two songs based on contrasting styles (fast tempo speed/thrash vs. slow sludge/doom). I programmed drums for the third song in Logic and shared the Logic project view. At the same time, I started searching for better bandmates and got some interest from Amar and Jake.

• Weeks 7–8:

  Weekly rehearsals continued with mixed results—some members were serious, others were unreliable. I played the third song with backing tracks and received class feedback. I struggled with my damaged vocal cords, which made me anxious and unsure about performing vocals.

• Weeks 9–10:

  I promoted the EP demo in London and connected with other black metal artists. I burned CDs and gave them to promoters. I found a potential bassist from the band Vestia. However, my vocal health worsened, and I couldn’t perform the songs as planned. I ended up playing a new alternative-style song with the house band just to complete the assignment, although I didn’t like it compared to my true style.

Reflection:

My timeline showed some successes, like composing and recording the two songs, programming drums, and improving my guitar tone. also connected with new bandmates and promoters. But I faced big challenges with unreliable members and vocal damage, which delayed my plan for live performance.that is the cause of these successes don’t help since I haven’t got my vocal tracks! the most important part is missed and that’s the only issue.

weeks 3 4 and 5 i will focus more on vocal training, guitar practice and weekly rehearsal. also in these weeks i will analyse the audio song and write about it.

weeks 6 7 8 i’m going to get the band ready for performing, try to make them tight. also i will still do weekly warm up and vocal training or if i can’t do it myself i’ll look for a vocalist. i will also talk about the process of the audio song while keeping rehearsal.

weeks 9 and 10 are for final preparation. by then i should have at least one strong song ready to perform for the assignment.