https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip Questions need to be answered clearly. en-us 2018-10-30 17:22:08 UTC 2018-10-30 18:00:49 UTC hello@padlet.com dalexandra1006 https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip/wish/298649075 We would cut off the last sentence of the story in order to add in a new ending. 

Add more descriptive words that make the lady look more fragile and innocent. ]]> 2018-10-30 17:31:27 UTC https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip/wish/298649075 dalexandra1006 https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip/wish/298650686 The lady attempts to introduce the dude to the other visitors and takes him upstairs. Throughout the walk, the guy is becoming more disoriented due to the cyanide dipped into his tea. 

As they walk into the room, he discovers the stuffed bodies of the previous guests and begins to freak out. This anxiety is only heightened when he begins to get paralyzed.

The guy tries to escape but fails and gets dragged away by the lady. She takes him into the room with all the stuffed objects and feels himself slowly getting stuffed. He watches all the other bodies in horror as he slowly dies. 

Fast forward 10 years, new victim is is welcomed by the lady and is signing the book as he/she enters.]]> 2018-10-30 17:33:39 UTC https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip/wish/298650686 dalexandra1006 https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip/wish/298657787 The beginning of the story drags on a little bit and should be cut down. 

Word choice near the ending should begin to change to words that provoke anticipation or a turn into the climax of the story.

The last scene should hold some sort of reference to dramatic irony that implies to the reader what is going to happen. 

There should be a clear change into the diction between the beginning and the end. 

The description of the lady should begin to take a turn, as well. Her actions becoming more calculated and frightening as slow realization comes to him.]]> 2018-10-30 17:42:41 UTC https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip/wish/298657787 dalexandra1006 https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip/wish/298662108 These changes would make the story more menacing and frightening. The change in diction should begin to transfer the focus from the man to the description of the lady and how it slowly starts to change from fragile to crazy. By cutting down the beginning, part of the setting is no longer a distraction from the guy. Additionally, the dramatic irony would make change the focus on the overall interaction between the two individuals. It would transition to a focus on the details of the overall setting. ]]> 2018-10-30 17:48:59 UTC https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip/wish/298662108 dalexandra1006 https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip/wish/298670020 Doris Sanchez
Linda Liu
Yunuem Castaneda
Nicole Cerrato-Caballero]]> 2018-10-30 18:00:25 UTC https://padlet.com/dalexandra1006/sh54wsj8ngip/wish/298670020