This is my goodbye.  Shocking I haven't left you already I know. The thing is, I don't hate you. No I wouldn't call this me dumping you, maybe just a farewell send off. You gave me knowledge and advice on my friends which I wish I took, you gave me theater and showed me a whole world that I never knew existed. Lights and late nights and leftover food, what a great time we had together. I remember coming home so tired and so done from a show that I just fell into bed, but boy was I happy. How could I not be? You had given me an award for it all. You gave, and took, my favorite hamster which although is sad, gave room for a new bundle of joy. So it wasn't all bad, except for those rich guys who decided they should risk their lives to go see the Titanic. Maybe those guys wouldn't be as nice to you. I don't blame them. But we’ll never know. They're dead. I totally called it beforehand too. But anyway, you dropped the love of reading and writing into my arms, and said “Here you go! Do something with this!” and something is what I might do. I've spent my time with you drawing and doodling, scraping and shaping, and it's been fun. Real fun. But I think i'm ready to move on, find a new adventure to go on. You were fun but now you're done, dead and buried to me.

Farewell,

Sam

I was so excited to see all the upcoming movies and T.V. shows. But that was ruined with the ongoing strike that you created. So, thanks for that. We both watched Ellie and Joel travel across the whole country as they bonded. Now I have to wait even longer to see where their story takes them. You also brought me the long awaited second season of Jujutsu Kaisen. Unfortunately you ruined something great like that after I heard about the poor animators that worked on one of my favorite shows this year. Outside of the media, you were also-- believe it or not-- the worst. A war started between Israel and Palestine, there was a mass shooting in Maine. Both of which are terrible. So again, thanks 2023. 

Also, You're telling me that Tom Brady retired, came back, just to retire again. The guy has to make up his mind. Taylor Swift also grew exponentially this year. Which is both good and bad (for me). I mean like, good for her and stuff, but do I really need to hear about her 24/7? There’s always something new with this lady 2023, first she comes out with the big new tour and now she’s dating some football player. It’s almost like you were in love with her rather than me. 

You were also just boring.

Welp, thanks for nothing 2023. Find love elsewhere. 

I’ll start by saying this: You weren’t entirely awful. Through your kind words and advice, I finally have a sense of direction for the future, being art and perhaps writing. Keep in mind that I haven’t fully fleshed out these ideas, but you planted the seeds, and now they’ve started to grow. You’ve allowed me to build upon my artwork and discover brand new techniques for how I could improve my drawings and sketches. As a result, I’ve produced some of the strongest art pieces that I’ve ever created and I’ve gained a strong sense of appreciation for the world of art as a whole. Furthermore, the time that we spent together featured some of my favorite memories of all time, and I hope to never forget those in the future. Simply put, your very presence helped me to discover who I was as a person.

Unfortunately for you, my praises end here.

First of all, you really tantalized me with aspirations of the Bruins winning the Stanley Cup. 65 win season, over 130 points, a seemingly unbeatable goaltending duo, and yet you still decided to lay a wet turd all over it at the end of April. H*ll, you even stunk up my junior prom with your shenanigans, and I’ll never forgive you for that. The Bruins became one of the biggest laughing stocks in NHL history under your twisted humor. After that, you said, “Now hang on a moment; what about the Celtics? Aren’t they doing well?” Yeah. They were. They beat the devil out of Philadelphia at the end of second round of the playoffs, but how can you explain the horror that was the third round against Miami? You turned my head back in your direction by making me think that they’d pull off the reverse sweep. But I knew you well enough at that point. You really enjoyed teasing me with optimism and the hope that these teams would finally pull it off. But then, when I finally started to believed, I was hit with a “Psych, b*tch!” and that magic ran out. Don’t even get me started on the Red Sox or the Patriots.

Now, I never said this before, but you were the actual reason for why I posted my sh*tty Tinder bio back in September. Mind you, we were still dating, but I had already grown tired and had begun to believe that it was time for us to part ways. “But wait!” I heard you cry, “I can give you an unforgettable 18th birthday and also provide you with even more opportunities to improve your artwork!” While I am incredibly grateful for both of these things, I couldn’t help but notice that you happened to be hiding something behind those encouraging words. You put the flu in the phone lines. And then you threw it onto me. Now here I was, drowning in misery while feeling like complete and utter cat sh*t as I sat out of school for a week and labored through the holidays. They say that first impressions are everything, but friend, you’ve gotta stick the landing as well. You didn’t. 

With all that being said, I’m done with you. You weren’t completely awful—in many ways, you were actually pretty d*mn good to me—but you went behind my back to undermine my happiness in a variety of ways. I don’t put up with sly, devilish jackasses who put on a masquerade to capture someone’s trust and then rip out the carpet from underneath them as soon as they gain it. Unfortunately, you pulled this sh*t. Now I’m done. I see 2024 calling in the distance, and that seems a whole lot more exciting and promising than what you delivered. Thus, I shall answer that call and hang up on you.

Take care, 2023, and may we never cross paths again.

And I don’t regret it. At the start I had like in real life 0 friends, and you didn’t help that in anyway. Like at all. Kinda surprising to be honest, but then again not so much. At least I made some connections online which is nice I guess. But hey that’s only the top of this iceberg. Trump did a lot of bad that you seemed to be fine with, what the h*ll is up with that? He decided to commit multiple illegal acts and you just let him off Scot-free? And now he’s selling NFTs for some reason. Pretty funny but like still, how do you see him as good and ignore all the acts he's committed that broke multiple laws. 

Though not all was bad and made me question your choices (even though in the end I still did and that’s why I’m breaking up with you) you made an offhand comment on how I do something with this money I’ve been holding on for months, so I did and bought a pixel art app on my pc to make art. And boy has my growth been great, starting in July I’ve grown like several times the amount I would’ve assumed someone like me could grow. And that’s not the end of it, I decide to also try coding which also has been going better then expected, and anything that’s going wrong I can often fix or laugh at the things going wrong in the funniest ways. But here’s the thing, these didn’t happen because of you. They happened because of me, and I’m not gonna make it out to sound like you helped me in these choices when you didn’t in any shape or form. You could’ve been better, less harsh and less radical in your ideas and actions. So for the last time...

I’m breaking up with you, bye.

First of all, war. Ukraine, Israel, a big chunk of Africa, and possibly Venezuela pretty soon. That’s just insane. There’s something wrong with you. Then, you decided to move into Looney Tunes level politics. A senator accepting solid gold bars from a foreign government? I’m pretty sure I saw that in an episode of Scooby Doo like 10 years ago. The house doesn’t have a speaker for weeks because the two parties are divided? If Aaron Sorkin wrote this I’d call it too on the nose. 

Oh, and climate change. Another hottest year on record, with new natural disasters, even worse than before. We’re number one! I mean, you weren’t all bad. There were some developments in fighting Covid, but this is a bowl of sh*t cereal with a couple corn flakes. I’ll just pass on the whole thing. 

In a way I am glad. We can finally leave this annoying new problem of COVID behind us, and focus on the boring old problems we’ve become accustomed enough to to not care. War, poverty, fascism! 

A war in Israel, high unemployment, political scandals, writer's strike, a f*cked housing market, this is essentially 2008 with better iPhones. I can do better. We all can. 

And, you had to take Cormac McCarthy with you. On the last day of school, on the way to the beach, I got to read that my favorite writer died. 

I’m always thinking this one’s gonna be right. And every time I’m wrong. I’m done still being disappointed when the bar is at the center of hell. This year was an inferno, and I’m done with it. Goodbye. Hopefully 2024 will re-behold the stars.

You weren’t sh*t.  You weren’t worth my limited time.  In fact, if I could I would choose to hit fast forward through the first half of the year, slow down for summer, then speed up again for school.  There wasn’t even a lifelong lesson to be learned, no moral of the story, nothing. 

Just pure misery.  The end of sophomore year was a blur of drabness.  Nothing was interesting and nothing was stress-free.  The classes I had were piling on the work and I couldn’t catch a break.  In my high school career, that was easily the worst section.  Not to mention that everything is so much harder in the winter.  It’s cold and cloudy and not even snowy this year.  Just rain and more rain. 

Regardless, I suffered through 'til summer and that is the only good part of you.  Summer was suntans and screaming children.  I worked at a summer camp and my coworkers were the best people I could’ve asked for.  I also played softball and was wildly successful this year.  But… you just had to sinking your grimy claws into my happiness once more because by the end of August, I was sitting in an ER being told that my ankle ligaments were torn in a bad sprain.  It ended my season early.  It hurt, a lot.  No amount of painkillers could calm the rampant swelling and widespread bruising that engulf from my feet to my knee.  I was put into a boot and on crutches and sent home with a hope that it was all some cruel joke.  I was on crutches for 2 weeks and in a boot for 6.  Even now, my ankle was messed up enough to never function the same. 

I finished the summer on a high though, hanging out with friends and working my way through camp.  Then school hit.  To preface, I am not a huge fan of school in the first place, so this isn’t entirely your fault, but you just seem to make everything worse anyways so it doesn’t matter.  Junior year is hard.  There was not a single unit in math that I fully understood (even now) and now that I started to work, my schedule is as busy as ever.  Since you seem to enjoy making my life h*ll, I figured you should know that you completed your goal…ten times over.  The only other highlight of the year is that I finally got my license.  Since you insisted that my life work consist of working 4 days a week, having a license to drive myself around was well worth it. 

And finally, in my last section of grievances, a list.  What list? A list of everything you’ve broken this year…

1. 2 sets of Airpods

2. A phone

3. A computer charger

4. ½ Wired Headphones

5. My old car

6. My new car

7. My computer

8. My wallet

9. My sanity

You nearly killed me. You left me out to bleed and continuously kicked me again and again and again long after I surrendered. You made me belittle myself so much that I had no hope of anything ever getting better. I tried, I tried so hard, to be good enough, to be a better person, to try to be perfect. But all my efforts fell on deaf ears and blind, judgmental eyes. To those who were caring for me for the last 6 years, I made their 2023 the worst year of their life.

But just as I was at my lowest point, you swooped in and saved me, 2023. You realized what you’ve done. You opened your eyes, saw me lying lifeless before you—you saw the scars, the tears, the hopelessness. You realized your mistakes, your flaws, and you felt terrible. So you gave the the greatest gift I could ever ask for: You let me go home.

You introduced me to people you actually helped, who listened to my pain. They felt my pain as if it were their own and helped me. They got me out of there.

I’m finally home.

Now I have never been better. I’m surrounded by people who love and care for me. I can be myself—there’s no need to be afraid and alone anymore. I’m stitching up the scars so I can start healing. I’ve finally stopped drowning, I can finally breathe, from now on I won’t be suffocated by hopelessness. I don’t have to be afraid anymore, I don’t have to fight. It’s all in the past now and I’m free to fly. I’m okay now. I can get through my darker days now because I’m surrounded by the best people. I’ve never been happier or more grateful.

Thank you, 2023, for saving me, for taking me back to where I belong. For giving me what I should’ve had a long time ago. For allowing me to love myself. For giving me back my ability to fly. Though I can never forgive you for what you’ve done. I can’t forgive you for the initial despair and abuse to put me through. You’ve put me through things I can never forget. And I hate you for that, but I am forever grateful for you. Now this goodbye. I have a feeling 2024 will treat me the way I’m meant to be treated (though I don’t want to jinx anything). So here’s my break up letter and my final goodbye.

Many thanks and many f*ck yous,

Jupiter

I hope this letter finds you well, or not. I have some news that might come as a shock to you. After a year of “dating” I’ve come to the bittersweet decision to part ways with you. It’s not you, its…. Well, actually, it is you. Sorry but it’s time to move on. 

You started off with such promise, 2023. We had high hopes for relationship, but things took a turn for the worse. from the rise of “smart” everything to the respectable popularity of avocado flavored toothpaste, you really had a knack for pushing the boundaries of absurd. I mean who needs a refrigerator that judges your eating habits anyways?

Let’s not forget your love for unpredictable weather. One moment we basking in the sun at the beach and the next moment we’re building snowman in the middle of April. Thanks for keeping us on our toes but I think I’ll pass on the spontaneous blizzards next time. 

Oh, and how can I forget the tech mishaps? From self driving cars, taking joy rides on the sidewalks to virtually reality headsets causing people to walk into walls, you really knew how to make us the advancements of technology. Thanks for reminding us That sometimes, the old-fashioned way isn’t so bad after all. Sometimes I miss old-fashioned,especially when I was driving home from the cape and it decided to unexpectedly down-pour, and we had no doors or roof on the car and everything got ruined!! That was great. Thank you.

But it wasn’t all doom and gloom. You have your moments of glory. Who could forget the invention of the submarine? Yeah maybe that had a few glitches. And let’s not overlook the breakthroughs in sustainable energy that gave us hope for a greener future. Kudos to you for those shining achievements, 2023. You also gave me the best summer of my life. Lots of hours working, but the constant hours on the lake with all my favorite people made up for it… Well until I dislocated my shoulder tubing, but hey! That didn’t stop me going again the weekend after. 

As I say goodbye, I want to thank you for the wild ride. You’ve taught us to embrace the unexpected, laugh in the face of chaos, and appreciate the little moments of joy. It’s been a roller coaster, but I wouldn’t Trade it for anything. May you find someone else who appreciates your quirks and glitches. as for me, I’ll be moving onto the uncharted territory of 2024, hoping for a smoother ride and a fewer self driving shenanigans.

Your sincerely, Brianna 

P.S. if you could kindly return my lost socks and misplaced car keys, that would be greatly appreciated!

I can’t say I hated you. We had our ups and downs, and the downs were pretty bad, but the ups were also pretty good. I don’t quite know how I feel about you. On the political side of things, we’ve had some major setbacks in people’s rights. The government is on fire right now because of all the sh** you threw at it. There was also 2 wars started during your time. What the f*** 2023? You’ve displaced people all over the globe, we’ve had natural disasters and war crimes and political issues and shootings and misery all over. All of the sh**tiest things you could have thrown at us you did. Not cool man. You f***ed it all up. We had something really good and you threw it out the window.

Despite all your negatives though, I would like to thank you for some things. I would like to thank you for the summer. The summer was amazing. We had the Barbenheimer craze, which allowed me to have a really fun time with my friends watching both. (I loved both but I’ve got to say I’m team Oppenheimer on this one, sorry!) You also got me tickets to the eras tour, which was one of the best experiences of my life. However, also on the concert front, I was f***ed over because I couldn’t see my favorite band’s concert on my f***ing birthday so…, what’s up with that 2023? Anyway, you also sent me on a once and a lifetime trip to Italy over the summer. It was my first time leaving the country and it was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It was such an incredible vacation and one of my favorite things in 2023. I got to see and learn so much while I was there.

Despite these strong positives, you also really f***ed up when you sent me on a spiral during the fall. Did not appreciate that. C***. You sent an already spiraling girl and a spiraling world and sent them spiraling even more. You created a very anxiety inducing environment, which I did not appreciate. So, mixed feelings on you in the end, but I can’t say I’m going to miss you. So, hopefully, see you never.

-Maggie

First you threw so so so many f*cking fake friends at me, then you went ahead and killed my great grandmother and put her funeral on my birthday, the one day I’m supposed to be happy. You did all that like it was nothing. I don’t know about you, but last I checked, jokes are supposed to be funny, yet how come I’m not laughing?

And to make matters worse, you made me lose my four year honor roll streak, just because you felt stressed and decided to pass it along to me. Like, the f*ck are you giving it to me for? Do I look like a d*mn therapist?

Although, we did have some fun times together. Like watching new shows, seeing old family members, going to Martha’s Vineyard, going to funerals of other loved ones, seeing family getting sick, getting sh*t talked, etc etc. It was a really fun time.

So, thank you, 2023, for making this year truly amazing. I’m so sad that we have to see you go.

You presented yourself as the “Year of the Woman” - that’s what initially had me hooked. The Eras and Renaissance Tours,  the Barbie Movie/movement, the amazing female actresses that were recognized, the start of the PWHL. These shiny positives can be overlooked when you see the rest of the sh*t you did.

Trump is making headlines every other week. While most of it is for negative things, we know he’s thriving off the attention. Kevin McCarthy was ousted as Speaker of the House of Representatives, which left the government scrambling. There was talk of a government shutdown, which was an unnecessary scare, and the 2024 election race is already not off to an optimistic start. There were many anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-trans bills and legislation passed this year, which is harmful for so many people in our nation and the world. The government was more of a mess than usual this year.

There were a lot of strikes that took place this year, bringing many people’s lives to a screeching halt. The WGA went on strike in May and SAG-AFTRA in July, both lasting for months. Writers and actors were working in conditions so poor that these strikes caught the attention of the country for months. There were strikes for unions of nurses, auto workers, and coffee businesses (cough cough, Starbucks). There was war still raging in Ukraine, and the Israel Palestine conflict has erupted with violence. Also, all the mass shootings this year…why? What went so wrong in your life that that was what you decided to let happen?

Lastly, one of the (usually) constant positives in my life, the Boston Bruins. Ugh. The Bruins, who in their record-breaking, 135 point, goalie-goal scoring season were eliminated in the first round by the f*cking FLORIDA PANTHERS. The PANTHERS. With Matthew Tkachuk, the most egotistical player in the world. You’re not that good, buddy. Now as we start this season, the team sh*ts the bed almost every overtime. Come on guys. 

I would say that I wish you well, but we all know that that would be a “bad idea right?”. Don’t blame me for rooting for the “Anti-Hero”, we need to address that "AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM". I’m moving on, to bigger and better things, which may or may not end with the number 4. 

Good f*cking riddance, 2023

Why the h*ll did you let me have so many fake friends. You made almost every single “friend” I had show their true colors. Thanks for that btw it was very much appreciated. I don’t know if there was something in the air but I was losing friends after friends. 

Also f*** you for making me take MCAS. Pre f*** you 2024 because I have to take even more. But outdoor track was really fun and memorable I don’t mind that… actually thank you. You made it one of the best times in my life. And summer…well the beginning of summer was so fun and was literally a dream. BUT WTF July was full with a bunch of ups and downs, lefts and rights. Like why didn’t you let me pick ONE struggle? BUTT THENN the end of summer... ugh I don’t even wanna talk about it. 

But school just had to start… BUTTTT volleyball happened. Well, 2023 I think you’re a a**hole. JV demon two years in a row… 2024 better be my year for volleyball or else catch me doing cross country. I lied I would never... I mean never do cross country… I very much value my life. But not gonna lie I did end off 2023 pretty strong besides the fact that my brother coming back home from college. 

Like no I don’t care you’re D1, no I don’t care you’re probably gonna make it to the Olympics, no I don’t care you’re mom's favorite because you’re the firstborn and only boy out of three girls.

So thank you but f*** you 2023, you’re so last year….

Summer our relationship was at a peak. Then I don’t know if it was all the wars that came out or the fact that I was made to come back to school, but we hit a low in the fall. You were constantly stressing me out with all the bull**** you’ve been pulling. I’m not going to even mention that week in November. Sorry it’s a really sore subject to touch upon. I found that I was looking for something better, something more fresh. I’m not saying 2024 is better than you, but actually I think I am.

You must forgive me because this year went by too fast, I mean the saying is that time flies by when your having fun. And we did, have fun, but sometimes fun just isn’t enough. I know I sound like an ***hole and you will probably think of me as one but we’ll always have summer and the memories that come with it. I’ve never been good at goodbye so take this as you will. P.S. I do expect a rage and hateful response from you but by that time your number may be blocked, but have at it pour out your feelings, you deserve as much. I hope you find someone better like I’ve found 2024.