Sloan G. Google Sites Peer Feedback 2020 - 2021 by Sloan Gulas https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-01-05 19:39:55 UTC 2022-01-31 15:19:19 UTC hello@padlet.com Meg 27mcoppockhuegel https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1074912105  I like how you described everything so perfectly as if I were there with you. I also liked how you involved a lot of inner thought so, it felt like I could see your mind and read your mind. One thing I would change would be that you could involve more sensory details in the moment. For example, the rain was beating down or how the rope felt. ]]> 2021-01-11 16:38:58 UTC https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1074912105 Korede 27koloko https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1074914738 I liked how you made the ending detailed ]]> 2021-01-11 16:39:24 UTC https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1074914738 Brady paragraph: i love how you https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1509788451 2021-05-10 15:54:08 UTC https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1509788451 Your favorite 27bbalestrino https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1610175825 First star ⭐️ this was ridiculous, funny, and creative. Second star ⭐️ I really like how you used detail to explain what the gum would do to you and how to get rid of it and treat it. No wish this was cool 😎 ]]> 2021-06-16 14:57:23 UTC https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1610175825 27mbickford https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1612358101 *Checks nails* hello so my first star is I thought the rule was very interesting and totally not murderious at all. My second star is I liked how you made a Willy Wonka reference. My wish is that I don’t really have one I think that this writing piece was really good congrats. Your friend Max-]]> 2021-06-17 14:20:52 UTC https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1612358101 Brynn(ik ew). 27bcardenas https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1612792818 Ello Sloan! Just saying, all together your piece was something that you don't get that often in the writing world- just a really really really good piece. Anyway, one star i have is when you were talking about the bubbledino- because that creature is first- the cutest thing on earth- second- a really clever way to see what gum does when you swallow it. A second star that i have was how it felt like i was talking to you- it was like you were at a doctors office and you were explaining to me why I shouldn’t have swallowed gum. I really hope I don't p e r i s h. The only wish i have was that you kept writing :P

Your friend, Brynn

]]> 2021-06-17 17:54:08 UTC https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1612792818 Tommy man 27tdreyer https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1612858910 First star i liked your mission .

Star two star star star star I like bubbledino

Wish you said moving on a lot but beside that Tommy approves]]> 2021-06-17 18:33:34 UTC https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1612858910 Korede 27koloko https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1617843273 Greetings sloan! A strength of your Secret Knowledge of Grown-ups story, is how you described the bubble. My only wish is that you add more detailed information. 

]]> 2021-06-21 15:11:33 UTC https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1617843273 From Amanda https://padlet.com/27sgulas/s1tkjjz62d95ic9g/wish/1820099003 Dear Sloan, I really liked your writing piece. The first thing I liked about it was you didn’t say what was happening in the story for the first couple of sentences. It was unclear without an explanation but I think you made a good choice leaving the story with a hook before directly jumping into everything. I think you made a good choice since this made the reader want to read more without losing insert while you explained everything. Your hook kept me entertained to read the whole story and I think this would work with other readers as well. 
The second star I would give to you is you really grabbed the feelings that you were feeling in that moment. This emotion of embarrassment and being nervous made the reader relate to those feelings and feel bad for you. A wish I would give to to say names when necessary, I think that the word choice of “A girl told Ms. Lopex about it, would sound better if it said the girls name so the reader could know the conflict you had with this classmate. 

Nice work!
-Amanda
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