Neglect is a pattern of behaviour which occurs over a period of time and results in impaired functioning or development of a child. It is the failure to provide for a child’s basic needs.

Neglect may be:

Some examples of this in young children are:

Some examples of this in older children are:

Myth: It is only abuse if it is violent
Reality: Child abuse does not necessarily involve violence or anger. Abuse often involves adults exploiting their power over children, and using children as objects for their own gratification rather than respecting their needs and rights as children.Child abuse is defined as "...the harming (whether phsycially, emotionally, sexually), ill treatment, abuse, neglect or depirvation of any child or young person".

Reference: (Section 2, Children, Young Persons and their Families Act 1989)

 

 

Myth: Children usually tell someone that they are being abused
Reality: Different studies have shown that 46% and 69% of adults abused as children never disclosed it in their childhood. Abusers can be very effective in making children too fearful to talk about what is going on. Often children do not have the words to use to let someone know what is happening to them. We are more likely to identify children who are being abused through physical signs or their behaviour.

Myth: Children are usually sexually abused by strangers
Reality: Most children who are sexually abused are abused by someone they know. Sexual violence by strangers is rare. 85% of sexual violence is committed by someone known to the victim.

Myth: The most common form of abuse suffered by children at home is sexual abuse
Reality: According to Oranga Tamariki statistics children are most likely to experience emotional abuse, followed by neglect. Physical abuse is the third most common type of abuse suffered by children at home whilst sexual abuse is the least common.  It is important to note that these statistics relate to abuse that has been reported and substantiated.  We know that children often don’t disclose that they have been abused until they are in adulthood, and sometimes not at all. 

Myth: Most children who are abused do something to cause it
Reality: While children are always the victims of abuse and are never to blame, some children are more at risk of being abused or neglected than others. E.g. Babies who are born with a high level of needs such as premature babies, those who are chronically ill and babies who constantly cry and are difficult to soothe are at greater risk for harm.

 

 

Myth: Abused children hate their parents and want to get away from them
Reality: Most children who have been abused by their parents still have a strong attachment or love for their parents and want to remain living with them. What they really want is for the abuse to stop.

Reality: There is mounting evidence that “neglect has more dire consequences for children than other forms of maltreatment”, with behavioural, emotional and cognitive consequences*.  40% of maltreatment deaths are due to neglect. Neglect often plays a role in other causes of death, for example suicide, fatal accidents and inadequate supervision**.

 

 

Myth: Most physical abuse is carried out by men, especially fathers
Reality: Physically abusive acts towards children are just as likely to be carried out by mothers as fathers.

 

 

Myth: Children who disclose abuse and later retract their stories were lying about the abuse
Reality: It is extremely common for children who have truthfully disclosed abuse to retract (take back what they have told) due to negative adult reactions to the disclosure of the abuse.  This doesn’t meant the abuse didn’t happen.

Reference: Roland Summit (1983) The Child Sexual Abuse Accommodation Syndrome

Myth: If children don’t witness family violence they are not affected by it
Reality: Children can sense what is going on, may hear arguing and see the harm to people or property and are emotionally and psychologically affected by the behaviour of violent adults

 

 

Reality: Children almost never make up stories about being sexually abused. In fact victims are often revictimised in multiple ways for truthfully asserting they have been sexually abused.

Myth: Remove a child from the adults who abuse him or her and you have solved the problem for both adults and child
Reality: It may be necessary to remove a child from his or her parents or usual caregiver in time of crisis to ensure his or her safety and wellbeing. Removing a child from his or her parents can have significant emotional effects. The goal should be to return the child to his or her parents or other family members when his safety can be assured

 

 

Myth: Children with disabilities are less likely to become victims of abuse than children without disabilities
Reality: Children with disabilities are 3.4 times more likely to be abused.

 

 

Myth: Older men are typically the perpetrators of sexual abuse towards children
Reality: The median age for perpetrators is 30 years

 

 

Myth: Only men sexually abuse children
Reality: Whilst statistically more men do sexually abuse children than women, women can also be perpetrators.

If it’s an emergency and you suspect a child is at serious risk, or a crime against a child has been committed this must be reported.

When it's not an Emergency

A lot of the time it may not be obvious that a child is at risk, you may need to rely on a hunch or feeling uncomfortable about a situation.  Don’t wait until you are certain, always put a child first.

Taking action to protect a child doesn't always mean extreme measures. There are lots of things you can do which may help to prevent abuse even occurring or stop it very early.

1.   STEP UP - Do something personally to help

Be prepared to do something to make a child’s life better or safer.  It can take just one person to make a real difference.

It is not easy at any time to get involved, especially when your concerns are with family or friends. By lending a hand or a listening ear at an early stage you may prevent something more serious:

2.   STEP OUT – Look for community support for the family

If you don’t know a person experienced in Child Protection, or you don’t feel that you can personally help, you can ring Child, Youth and Family on 0508 326 459 to talk over your concerns confidentially with a trained social worker. They will give you advice on what to do.

There are also many other organisations that support children and families.  You can contact any of the following organisations for help: 

3.   SPEAK UP - Report your concerns

If you are still concerned about the safety of the child, or if Steps 1 and 2 are not appropriate in your situation, you can make an official report of concern.

An epidemic is sweeping an ugly tide across the United States; domestic violence and child abuse against our children.

Howl large is the problem? Studies show that up to five million children in the United States experience and/or witness domestic violence each year. Whether it’s watching an act of physical or sexual abuse, listening to threats or sounds of violence, or viewing the evidence of such abuse in a victim in the signs of bleeding, bruises, torn clothing, or broken items, the effects are damaging to a child, in a variety of ways. Children in our nation are suffering from an epidemic of child abuse from those who proclaim to love them the most. Indeed, witnessing domestic abuse can also be traumatic for a child.

You may say it doesn’t happen where you live. You may believe that you do not know of any children who are victims of this type of violence and abuse. Make no mistake, domestic violence against children is happening all around you. Children in the very city you live in are victims of this horrific crime. Furthermore, the abusers and perpetrators may be your colleagues at work, members of your church, your neighbors, and even those who come to your annual family reunion. Children around you are falling victim to domestic violence and abuse. It is up to you to help bring an end to it. Here are 8 ways we can all help to stop domestic violence against children.

The first step in helping to prevent domestic violence is to recognize the signs. To be sure, it may be difficult to recognize when a child is being abused, as the signs are not always visible to the eye. Indeed, domestic violence is not always physical. Other forms of domestic abuse include verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and economic abuse.  Along with this, it is likely that the children suffering will not speak up on their behalf, as so many children suffer in silence. 

Whether it is providing support classes for parents, teaching them child care and parenting strategies, or helping with economic support and stability during times of difficulty, struggling parents and families need help and support. Violence against children can be reduced  when parents and families are equipped with strategies, support, and skills when caring for children.

Often times, children are great imitators. They frequently model what they learn and experience from the adults in their lives. Time and time again,  a child’s greatest role model is often the parent. For those children who have watched a parent inflict violence and abuse upon another, these children are more apt to repeat this later on in their adult life with their spouses or partners.  Drugs and alcohol abuse later in their lives is also likely path. In order to break this future cycle of abuse, we need to offer therapy, counseling, support, and services to these children.

Knowledge is power, and awareness brings advocacy. Educate those around you about the realities of domestic abuse and violence. Whether it is where you work, where you exercise, where you practice your faith, or where your own circle of friends and family are, inform and educate them about this issue. When those around you become aware of the realities of domestic violence among children, they become advocates, as well.

Faith based organizations, civic groups, schools, community leaders, and local and state legislatures can all come together to both fight child abuse. Contact these organizations and individuals and organize meetings with them, as well as with your local law enforcement. Create a child abuse prevention team in your area, and in your city.

Perhaps the biggest impact one can make in preventing child abuse and domestic violence is to become an advocate of change. By contacting lawmakers, politicians, and publicity agents through means of emails, letters, phone calls, and other means of communication, one can bring attention to the needs of these children who are various forms of abuse. Along with this, these advocates of change can also post information in editorial letters, websites, public forums, and so forth. By lobbying for change, new laws can be introduced, and information can be brought forward to the general public.

If you suspect child abuse or domestic violence is happening to a child you know, document what you see. Time, date, location, and information is important, if you should have to file a report of some kind. Documentation should be done in a factual and non biased fashion, and not in an emotional manner. Just the facts, so to speak. Your documentation can go a long way in helping to protect a child.

If you know of an incident of child abuse or domestic violence, it needs to be reported, and it needs to be reported by you now. Not tomorrow; not next week. If a child is in danger, he needs to be rescued from it today. Call the police, call local law enforcement, call 911, or call Malaysia Childline, 15999. Do not try to intervene or become involved in the situation, as it could lead to additional danger.

Unrealistic expectations of parenthood, differences between what we’d like and what we have, a strained relationship with our marriage partner, an excessive amount of to complete and risky hands time, financial problems, substance abuse, alcoholism, and previous being abused during a vacation are samples of problems that causes parents to secure anger and frustration on their own children. Even very loving parents can lose control to begin child abuse.

Here are some actions you are able to decide to try help children as well as their parents.