PCP: Personal Statement Part 2 by Ayesha H.

Let's get Physical

ayeshahughes — 2024-04-03 16:10:46 UTC

Physical theatre is a practice that invigorates me. However, I have always been apprehensive engaging in physical art like painting, drawing, or sculpting. I am a major perfectionist, and my artistic journey at this point of my life is coming head to head with my self critic. The design module was very inspiring for me, and I think it's partly because I worked with a medium that I love and I was also terrified. Collaging is something that I engaged with a lot when I was younger. I would cut out pictures from magazines or print off tumblr photos and create massive collaging that would cover my bedroom walls. I would do this for hours. Once I moved out of my childhood home and I started renting, subletting, etc. I couldn't create at the scale I had, and that, for some reason, flipped a switch in my brain that told me, "okay, this era is over!" Creating my altar in the design module allowed me to experiment with the familiar elements that I had once loved in a new and vulnerable way. It has inspired me to engage in more physical creation like sculpting and collaging to help develop my ideas. Just like physical theatre gets me out of my head, getting into physical artistic elements allows me to experiment in the same way. I have collaged a lot since the design module!

It takes ten minutes.

ayeshahughes — 2024-04-03 16:24:36 UTC

I've noticed coming back to school after years of working that there is a lot of hesitation to get the work started despite how low the stakes are. Sometimes I want to shake my fellow collaborators and say, "HEY! Showing up and contributing anything is enough! You are enough!" And yet, I've encountered time and time again that people would rather not show up, or be told what they should do/write. This is frustrating for me, however, it's forcing me to take a step back and think about my own ways of handling the things I cannot control in a kind way. I am in a very different position than a lot of my collaborators. I have different experience and exposures than a lot of my collaborators. I have been allowing myself to feel these frustrations, however, if I get stuck on these frustrations I tend to dehumanize their own process or where they're coming from in their own artistic journey. Hesitation is something that we will experience with fellow collaborators our whole lives if we continue in this field, I guess my question for myself is how can I show up in a way that allows my partner to trust that they don't have to hesitate? That they can put their intuition forward, and trust that their authenticity is enough for me and the low stakes environment. Personally, I just want my collaborators to show up more. I want them to feel like their ideas and their prospective matters rather than trying to sound the smartest, more creative, or profound individual. I'm experiencing this heavily in the playwriting/directing module. I experienced some frustration with the lack of initiative taken by my partner to take ten minutes to finish their portion of the script. Yes, we all have lives and conflicts happen, however coming back to university it feels like all I hear and come face to face with are excuses. Excuses not to create work, or show up for your collaborators. There are secrets within these excuses, and I'm curious how I can adapt my own character to show up kindly for these individuals without disregarding the integrity of my work.

Complexity in Simplicity.

ayeshahughes — 2024-04-03 16:31:57 UTC

In the devising module, I was excited to develop with my team the ways we can find complexity in simple physicality. I was inspired by my groups willingness to jump into the work, especially with the blanket concept we had. Throughout the devising process, it was really fun finding the compatibilities in the way we worked, which made everything rich with discovery. It was the type of rich and focused work that made time fly by, and at the end of class we wanted to keep working! Devising is something near and dear to my heart, but it's also one of the hardest forms of experimental theatre. Our groups approach to starting with a simple physical element really helped flesh out of concept. It put idea into practice rather than the typical cerebral rumination. I am inspired by this type of collaborative work, and I can see elements of my devising group in my final project group. My final project group is very eager and thoughtful in our similarities that I am excited now to come to class on Fridays. For awhile, I was dreading it because of fears mentioned in the post above, however, my group is eager to contribute with little hesitation so far which is really exciting.