Why do relationships change or end? by Mrs Quinton https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic Add your groups discussion notes en-us 2017-11-22 03:44:31 UTC 2017-11-22 05:11:41 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Doubleheart.png Change in the relationship -YLS https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209327382 -Moving away to different jobs, long distance relationships don't always work but sometimes they do, depends on the people.
-Different views in the relationship 
-Movement in social circles 
-Being attracted to someone else 
- Having different goals to the other person 
- If its interest in other people - can't resolve problem
-Can have highs and lows
-One person has a change in the relationship but the other person doesn't, it would still lead to a possible end of the relationship. 
-External factors, family members having conflict, which may influence the couple.
-Increase in self-esteem/ego in one person can lead to them wanting different people or thinking they can find better.
-Different goals/places in their career can lead to changes in the relationship.
-No longer being best friends with your partner. 
-Having children may change the couple
- This Report comes out of the ESRC-funded research project, Enduring Love? Couple Relationships in the 21st Century. This is a mixed methods investigation into long-term adult couple relationships. 


]]> 2017-11-22 04:22:55 UTC https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209327382 Fatal Attraction Theory (Felmlee, 1995) https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209327419 - Felmlee (1995)
- Attracted to people with opposing positive qualities; over time this may lead to annoyance
- Initially drawn to someone because they're "fun" but this behavior became problematic over time E.g. Someones who's always telling jokes and is rarely serious - This may be nice at first but becomes annoying / humiliating / embarrassing as they seem immature.
- Strong to domineering - Drawn to someone because they're strong / confident but overtime they become to authoritative / controlling.
- What might initially seem spontaneous may become unpredictable behavior.
- Most commonly applies to teenagers and young relationships.

Why?
- Similarity is a predictor of attraction, when faced with dissimilarity, uncertainty is introduced
- Burger et al. (1975): Uncertainty Reduction Theory - This argues that humans are uncomfortable with uncertainty and will communicate to reduce uncertainty. E.g. when we first meet someone, we ask a lot of questions and this only stops when we find overlapping qualities with ourselves.]]> 2017-11-22 04:23:18 UTC https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209327419 Jayda, Alyssa & Vibhav https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209327481 Relationships tend to change or end due to a lack in communication. Why? Possibly due to the fact that if two individuals conceal their feelings from one another then they might continue doing something that really bothers the other person; if there is no change to the action etc. then this might signal a change or end to the relationship. Communication is key to a relationship as it allows intimacy to be developed
which could therefore lead to passion and commitment being developed. If you communication breaks down it could lead to stone-walling which is one of the 4 horseman signs that lead a relationship ending. If you do not communicate from the start of a relationship and only have a passionate bond it will restrict you from moving on to a new stage such as building the intimacy and commitment. A lack of communication could lead to your partner looking for someone else to support them or speak to them which will hence result in the relationship possibly ending as they might build intimacy and passion with someone who is actually listening to them; however, it could maybe cause a change in the relationship by simply creating distance between the individuals but they may still stay together because they have "empty love".  

This is a big one. Numerous studies have identified communication (or a lack of it)  is one of the top reasons for couples therapy, as well as one of the top reasons for break-up and divorce.  Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington, a foremost expert on couples studies, concluded after over twenty years of research that the single, best predictor of divorce is when one or both partners show contempt in the relationship.  Contempt, the opposite of respect, is often expressed via negative judgment, criticism, or sarcasm regarding the worth of an individual. In communication studies, this is known as being “tough on the person, soft on the issue”. Contemptuous communication works like poison - it destroys the health and well-being of a romantic relationship.]]> 2017-11-22 04:23:56 UTC https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209327481 Rule Breaking (Dina, Leah, Rukaiya https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209327512 - stimulates unhealthy and weak relationships
- becomes a breeding ground for dysfunctional behavior
- 2 types
1. Rules that no one (in any relationship) should break. Eg. cheating, honesty.
2. Rules that may be personal to individual relationship. Eg. stonewalling.

Examples of rules in a relationship:
-respect of privacy
-should be emotionally supportive
-should not discuss what is said in confidence

Argyle and Henderson (1984) stated that deception probably represents the most important
rule that shouldn’t be broken. 

Argyle and Henderson (1984)- asked their participants to rate the extent to which any failure to keep friendship rules and contributed to the breakdown of a relationship. 

The rule violations found to be most critical included jealousy, lack of tolerance, and disclosing confidences; most of which are related to expectations couples had when the relationship started

]]> 2017-11-22 04:24:22 UTC https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209327512 Attributional Style https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209327548 Ali: Attributional Style is like how you explain the causes of events. Also explains why you should care about your attributional style is that it's related to changes in the happiness of a relationship. 

Tamara: I agree

In positive and intimate relationships, people tend to attribute good things their partner does to Internal factors. But in failing relationships, people tend to attribute “good behaviour” from their partners as caused by external factors 

Tamara: I think an example of this would be In an unhappy relationship, if my partner brings home flowers for our anniversary/Valentine’s I might attribute their wanted behaviour by explaining it as having been caused by something like "you only buys buy flowers when it’s socially expected”.

In unhappy relationships, bad relationship behaviour tends to be attributed to stable, global, internal factors. For example, if my partner forgot our anniversary it’s evidence that they’re below average in warmth, caring, or reliability.


]]> 2017-11-22 04:24:55 UTC https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209327548 Ruth, Sandra, Aya, Michael https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209328566 Social exchange is addressing the give and take between the people affiliated in the relationship. However, the social exchange is not always equal between people. People can classify their feelings within a relationship based on three things: The balance between what we put into the relationship and what we get out of it. 
 
A person’s expectation on the balance between the giving and gaining in a relationship can determine what kind of a relationship they want. This can also pair people with other people that match their personality. Furthermore, the exchange between people in a relationship and in a friendship will differ in terms of how much they expect from the other person or how much they expect to give the other person. 
 
Rusbult (1983) found that during the early ‘honeymoon’ period of a romantic relationship, the balance of exchange is ignored. However, later on in the relationship, it is when the costs were related to the satisfaction of the relationship. For e.g. Rusbult’s daughter spent a lot of effot and money to try and buy her brother a really nice gift, however, he did not seem bothered by it. This led her to choose to spend more time by herself due to the imbalance of the gain and giving between the relationship between them. 
]]> 2017-11-22 04:36:30 UTC https://padlet.com/rmquinton/r5sk0yy6dwic/wish/209328566