Mairead Hales Peer Feedback 2022 - 2023 by Mairead Hales https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-21 18:17:44 UTC 2023-06-14 22:07:34 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f94d.png Maya Al Houch 29malhouch https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2357389171 I really like how you just kept on going with what happened in you small moment. I also really like how you used strong words in your memoir. But I think you should add more talking in your memoir to really explain to the reader what’s happening.]]> 2022-10-26 14:26:19 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2357389171 Alexa cerchio 29acerchio https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2357778264 I thought your piece was really good and I loved how you wrote it]]> 2022-10-26 18:10:14 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2357778264 Niya .D. 29nduffus https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2357801009 I enjoyed reading your memoir and it was interesting to read and easy to picture the moment.]]> 2022-10-26 18:23:23 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2357801009 Leilu Colodne 29llcolodne https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2403796605 Hey Bestie, your piece was amazing! I felt that you really incorporated what you needed to be told. I liked how you aggravated more simple words / actions and how you made the plot / “What’s happening” in your story, making everything flow down and make sense. In addition, I like how you developed Meg’s character with show not tell. Right away, I know some things about her. Her inner thoughts really helped too. Don’t really anything else to say, your piece was great!


]]> 2022-11-30 16:03:44 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2403796605 Alexa cerchio 29acerchio https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2404123763 I really liked you story and think you wrote it really good!!!!!!!]]> 2022-11-30 19:37:36 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2404123763 Niya D 29nduffus https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2405652242 I liked reading your narrative it had great description.]]> 2022-12-01 19:22:43 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2405652242 Lucie https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2486724916 Hi marade you did good on you anecdote. 
 your conclusion was amazing and very long. You had goo details and transition words. 
You could fix your questions and you explanation but overall its good. 
    
]]> 2023-02-17 19:39:16 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2486724916 Alexa cerchio 29acerchio https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2490201279 Hi mairead i really liked your essay you did really good on it. I loved your word choices you put! -lex ]]> 2023-02-21 19:40:35 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2490201279 Lucie https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2524097314 you added a lot and it is expanded. You keep using the words loved and cared for. I think you should look up different word chooses. think it added a good amount and it made sense. However, I think you could replace the word wanna and look in the word big thing. ]]> 2023-03-20 18:32:45 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2524097314 Leilu Colodne https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2525551034 Hi Mairead! Overall amazing piece! There was not much to say, I loved teh advanced word choice and how you made long explanations, keeping them packed with evidence and was keeping it on topic. I also loved your claim sentence, “..always have confidence no matter how one looks..”]]> 2023-03-21 14:59:05 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2525551034 Bella Giannacio 29igiannacio https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2525817592 A strength of your paragraph “The Confident Lamb” was your strong word choice. As I read, I saw all the strong words you chose to add. For example, “Individuals and Perspective”. Another star was your great transition words. All of them were great starts to y6our paragraph. You never repeated them! One wish would be to remember to put a comma after your transition word. I saw you forgot it in your sum up.  ]]> 2023-03-21 17:36:32 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2525817592 -niya https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2525872257 Hi mairead, A strength in your writing was the way you briefly explained everything very clearly. In addition I also enjoyed your  theme as well as your sum it up because there were lots of details throughout and really was explained. However, I would suggest changing your second bit of evidence a bit because it didn’t seem to fit your theme really.


]]> 2023-03-21 18:11:16 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2525872257 Luice https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2533588101 Mairead you had an amazing varying word choice. For example instead of writing feelings you wrote emotions, etc. 
you have amazing vocab for example you use the words disregarded and karma. 
You did a good job adding transition words threw out for example you used the transition words like, for example, this means. You added 8 transition words. 


]]> 2023-03-27 18:40:20 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2533588101 Informational Presentation 29ckeenan https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2623510936 Hi! Your presentation was great! A strength I saw in your presentation “The Best is Bubble” was the design. You kept a simple mint-green and white background consistent throughout your whole piece and it really paid off! The design is so simple and pretty! Also, another strength I noticed was located in your closing. I really enjoyed your rhyming closing and thought it was really unique. And for my wish, I would have liked to see more visual representations of the Boba tea throughout the slideshow. You have some, but I would have liked to see more. Otherwise, great job!]]> 2023-06-14 14:29:46 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2623510936 One strength of your presentation was the names of your sections. I especially loved “Bubble Tea Blow up” . Those titles added so much personality. Another strength was your designs on the slides. The consistent color palette matched with the beautiful pictures made your presentation so strong. One wish I had was your sources slide was lacking the same level of design that your others had. Possibly adding a picture could have helped with this. 29bboris https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2623580221 2023-06-14 15:56:24 UTC https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2623580221 https://padlet.com/29mhales/r2qc31nni8cuvhe/wish/2623800187 Hi Mairead! I loved your slideshow “The Best is Bubble”. Firstly, I loved the use of word choice in your writing. 2 examples I have are the words “originated” and “sparked”. I also loved your background and formatting, it really matched you topic and gave aesthetic vibes!  Your pictures allowed the piece to be more interesting to read. The only wish I have is to improve your conclusion, so it ends with a bang. I feel like it’s unfinished and you could have put more effort in it. Besides that, your piece was great.


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