The Gangster ( March 2023)

Materials:

As we  are doing our bimester project that is about making a self portrait, i decided to portrait myself as an 80s new york or chicago gangster like al cappone, mostly as an italian guy. In the 70s  several Italian immigrants joined the American Mafia as a means of escaping their miserable circumstances. The Mafia started selling illicit alcohol as a result of the prohibition. Bootlegging brought in significantly more money than the usual crimes of prostitution, extortion, gambling, and protection. I want to represent how migrants that arrive US during these time period were so racially discriminated that  at certain point because these people were so discriminated they couldn't find jobs, and by consequence they couldn't have money to live, so they start doing crime like robbery and murder in order to have some money to live, that's why they realize that they were good for the crime and they created the gangster families and start making money. As I see this, these people were resentful towards society so that's why they did what they did to get revenge from society. I want to draw myself as if I were a mafia boss, Italian, with glasses as cigar and a very nice hat. I will draw it using a medium canvas and a variety of pencils to successfully detail it in the best possible way. To make my portrait  firstly I used a paper sheet that measures 22.9 x 30.5 cm because it was the best measure in order to portrait myself and to try to replicate my reference photo (observational drawing) Then to have good artistic intentions i did a research about how mafia bosses lived during the 70s and 80s in the U.S, that's when i realize that if i wanted to portrait these i needed to find the perfect face accessories in order to try to represent me as a mafia boss, so i look in my house and I found a hat, glasses, and a glue to replicate a cigar, because in those times these kind of things showed status and power. Because only rich people could have it and actually use it without being robbed. My artistic intention was the best possible because I actually could represent myself as an Italian migrant that arrived in the U.S and suffered discrimination, so because these migrants did not find a way of living he entered into crime, and succeeded. I draw myself in  the part where these migrants are successful. With these drawings the audience actually without the context can relate it with power, a lifestyle and someone fancy, which is part of my artistic intention and Goal. 

Appart that these portrait was needed to do with pencil, pencil was perfect to succeed in my drawing because my drawing is representing a mafia boss during the 70s , like a self portrait and in these years even pictures with color were available, a black and white picture would make the portrait fancier, I choose to use a variety of pencils to play with the shades of the face and give the proper volume to the drawing, also a used a paper sheet of 22.0 x 30.5 cm which allowed me to replicate my reference photo and detail it the best way possible, as i was drawing i try to make my draw composition as most realistic as i could because again is a self portrait. To do it as accurately as i can i decided to use face accessories that I found in my house to replicate the outfit of a mafia boss, i used a reference outfit of a picture of Al Capone dressed very similar to my portrait.  I use a Cuban cigar as a symbol because only rich people in those times could smoke it. The cigar was intended to show status, power and success, even these days people don't smoke Cuban cigars because they are expensive. Finally with al the mix of my artistic choices i could replicate me successfully as an italian mafia boss, and i successfully could give it the meaning that i wanted to give, which was draw an Italian migrant that arrive to U.S and suffered racial discrimination, and apart from this was successful maybe not in the best way possible but it was successful.  The reason i decided to draw this is because for me i think that discrimination and racial discrimination are one the most important problems that as society we need to solve, also as many people know being a criminal is not good, but sometimes there is people that their life opportunities and conditions doesn't allow them to study and have a life without crime, that's why the enter to the crime just from an escape of their living conditions, i Mexico this is something that happens very often. But apart from this putting apart the good and the bad, these kinds of stories are stories of personal growth. That's why I was inspired to draw this. 

Without Freedom (March 2023)

“Pencil on paper”

I wanted my self-portrait to display my facial characteristics and the inner thoughts that build up my way of perceiving life. I focused on trying to reflect who I am on the inside, but I didn't show a good and positive part of me, I decided to show my negative, messed-up, and chaotic thoughts, my desire to achieve academic validation, my obsession with being extremely organized, my phobia of getting bad grades, and how I think of myself and who I truly am. All of these thoughts represent how I feel about life. The objective of this final version is to represent both sides of who I am, by including my beliefs and views of the school, which symbolizes a part of my personality and is a visual representation of my world. 

I decided to make my portrait like this because it relates to my artistic intention, and I figured that a side profile is a good way to show a part of my personality, which is what goes inside my head, and one side of my face with my facial features to represent my full identity. The drawing had a background that goes from dark gray to light gray, giving the edges a dark value to represent fear of failure and disconnection from the world, I used negative and positive space, and the texture and shape of a cloud in my head to show the feeling of school pressure and the wrong desire for academic validation. I used the symbols of A+ and 8IB to demonstrate that what I often think about is a high grade to not be a “disappointment”, “failure”, or not be worthy of something valuable to me. In addition, the drawing is colorless because the absence of color it represents the lack of creativity and being trapped in a repetitive cycle of stress and negative self-talk to achieve a high grade. Lastly, I emphasized what goes in my head and the repetition of numbers and negative words that symbolize my grades, and how I see myself.  

The Tree of Identity (March 2023)

“Pencil on paper”

For my project, I drawed my head cut in half and a tree growing out of it. I decided to draw a self portrait to learn more about values and observational drawings, but I gave it a twist. This is where I added a tree with words I have been described as and I aspire to continue being. The decision that the tree should come out of my head came because it symbolizes how all those traits shape me as a person, and my mind has a big role in that. The use of pencil on paper as my materials was to better understand the importance of shading and value and how they have the power to bring a drawing to life. This is a key detail for my drawing because I wanted it to have perspective and be as realistic as possible.

The look of my artwork relates to the meaning because the drawing is of myself (a person) that has a tree coming out of their mind, and by the different traits I wrote we can suppose that those are things I have thought about  (like a web of thoughts) or that have to do with me. The different choices I made during the making of this drawing are endless but one of the biggest ones was the choice of words in the drawing. All those words and phrases I took from different letters my friends and family have given to me. Another choice I made was the hair, my hair is a mess symbolizing me as I am in the morning, no filter, just me and my mind. Lastly, I decided to draw my side profile because many people are insecure about their appearance in this angle and I wanted to show how there is nothing to be ashamed of, no one is perfect and that all those negative ideas are just created to limit ourselves. 

 

I created my artwork to depict myself in a distorted way, as seen through a fish-eye lens. My aim was to make it engaging and entertaining for viewers. By using a pencil on toned-tanned paper, I hoped to add depth and volume to my drawing, as well as achieve a realistic effect. This choice was influenced by the shading and pencil techniques we have been exploring in class. Through the distortion of my facial features, I wanted to express how reality is always subjective and dependent on the observer.

 

For my drawing, I chose to draw on top of printed pages from some of my favorite books. I decided to do this because I wanted my drawing to feel like me. I wanted to convey the feeling of not just staring at another face, but a person. The drawing itself was painted with pencil and the pages are pasted together on top of rectangular cardboard.  I chose these mediums because they were the easiest materials to work with and the proper materials to execute the idea I had already planned. Seeing as the intention of my work was to bring focus to what's behind the subject, the positioning of the portrait isn’t centered.  This is a subtle way to insinuate that the real focus should be on what's inside a person and not what’s on the outside. I wanted to achieve the feeling of seeing through a person, and who they truly are. How I represented that by painting myself with an almost blank expression, as well as covering my eyes to not convey any further emotion.  The expression and further feelings are hidden behind the person within the book pages. The drawing includes photocopied pages from four books that I've read and loved. The reason I chose to do this is that I wanted to further the idea that a person is much more than what meets the eye. The idea that we are all made up of our likes and dislikes. I also chose to do this concept because I wanted to incorporate what makes me comfortable into an area that I’m not. In a way, the incorporation of book pages was a way to express myself artistically, but at the same time emotionally. 

I have decided to do things in this artwork in a specific way in order to achieve my goal of making a realistic picture and causing feelings of peace and freedom to the viewer. An example of this could be the use of light-shade pencils since I feel like this will bring more light to the drawing making it look happier and more peaceful rather than dark shades which could make the drawing look somber. I have also decided to pay attention to detail when drawing this meaning to recreate shadows on my face and everything as close to reality as possible so that I can achieve a realistic drawing. The elements I am wearing, such as the helmet,  were also essential to convey the message I want since biking and has always been a safe space for me and something that allows me to feel free and even connect with people. I also chose to wear earphones in the image since I wanted to show music as a big part of my life. Music has always been big in my family, and it is a way for me to express myself when playing it and feel at ease when listening to it.

My idea for my self portrait is me with two different faces, as in the face divided in half. As it's two faced, one face is a cyborg, filled with battle scars. The second half will be a smiling person with a crown on its head, wearing a suit. My portrait is intended to explain the sacrifices needed in order to reach certain goals. When creating many self portraits that express the struggles of success, my artistic intention is to capture the emotion, energy, and determination that is so often needed to achieve a goal. The creative process of drawing a self-portrait highlights the motivation and discipline required for success and the resilience needed to overcome the obstacles that stand in the way. The colors, textures, and materials that will be used to create the work will represent the intensity of emotion and effort needed to pursue success. I will use different skills to achieve my goal, and I artistically want everything to be as realistic as possible. I want to make the audience feel like the person on one side is hurt, but the others smile and success makes it seem like it was all worth the hassle. 

When planning out this self-portrait, I carefully picked different things to be able to properly transmit a message. I chose to make the artwork this way because I wanted to portray the message that in order to be successful, it's important to be able to make sacrifices and work hard during tough times. Getting over these hard times howeve r, can lead you to a very good life. That is why I chose to make my artwork like this. I want to show on one half the scars and physical effects of the sacrifices but on the other half the benefits and how it's worth it at the end of the day. I want to do it on a large piece of paper with colored pencils. I want to do it this way because I believe it's the best for my situation, and the colored pencils can really give it this captivating and touching look that I'm seeking. I believe using these elements of art is really important so I can properly show the message. For example, when making the painting, the “ bad side” was heavily affected and scarred, so, therefore, I used a darker shade using different abilities learned. Additionally, it is symmetrically in order to have both sides with similar value and attention throughout the portrait. The symbols used are going to properly explain how rough it is and how painful it can be sometimes to make certain sacrifices, but, as I stated earlier, my final goal is to properly project the idea of hard work being necessary.

The reason why I decided to draw my sketch the way it is, is to make people laugh at the morbid and dark humor in my sketch, but to also make people conscious of the fact that no matter what reality we live in, there will always be consequences for our actions. As the Mario franchise's appeal comes a lot from its bright vivid colors, and if we take away those colors into a black and white sketch we get to see things more deeply. Also the reason why I decided to make the drawing somewhat follow the artstyle Mario uses is to try to keep Mario in his own reality, keeping the childlike character design. I do this because if we draw him in another style we don't get the same feeling and message of consequence in our own reality. 

I used multiple techniques to emphasize my face and draw it as realistically as possible. I used to value shading to give the face the volume it has in life and sighting to get the right measurements the face has to be as similar to my face in real life. I drew my face as emotionless because it represents how words can also express your feelings without the need for facial expressions. Body language constantly shows your emotions as well as your facial expressions. Still, they are not always accurate because your brain has not identified or understood the emotions/feelings well enough as art can express them, and demonstrates them. In the background, I transcribed a poem that I felt that I could relate to in some ways or that I understood to represent different ways of remarking your feelings. The poem is in Spanish because I am a Mexican female who shows her emotions in Spanish. After all, it's my first language. I Identify myself in Spanish and reflect so much on Spanish culture. 

Overall, my self-portrait is a simple yet detailed representation of myself that showcases my empathy for ocean life and Halloween. Through the use of artistic techniques such as shading and contrast, I was able to create a piece that is both visually engaging and aesthetically enjoyable. The inclusion of symbols and imagery that are meaningful to me adds depth and personality to the artwork, creating a piece that is uniquely mine.

With this artwork I want to show that there are other ways to enjoy nature other than gardening and walks through the park. By using the things I like I will be making it easier for me by having an idea of what I am actually doing. With this artwork I want to show my love and appreciation for nature. I also want to have fun with this project by doing ideas that relate to things I enjoy. Most of the things that I like to do are done in nature such as mountain biking which you do in the woods and the mountains. Having grown up 5 minutes from the woods and trails I grew up in nature and love being in and around nature. In other words the woods and mountains and snow are a part of me in some way. 

Justification

I used a full face downhill helmet because it can be used for both mountain biking and dirt bike riding. I am not great at drawing landscapes yet so I did a very general shape of a mountain that I can add more detail to later. I added the mountain reflection in the googles to give the perspective that I was looking at the mountain. I want it to be slightly smaller than the page so that I can still add details but I don’t want it to be too big because then I would have a lot of empty space.

Keep the Light On (March 2023)

“Pencil on paper.”

With my self-portrait, I hoped to transmit an idea of exhaustion, and desperation at the cost of my own feelings. This way, I wanted to show how keeping up with grades and school has taken a toll on our mental health, and threatens the existence of our personal life for the sake of academic validation. My drawing purposely demonstrates the grade above to be at a better condition, and better light, while the rest looks mistreated and even ignored. However, everyone experiences this mental exhaustion for academic validation in different ways, which is why self-portrait also included elements open to personal interpretation for the rest of my audience. Still, observational drawing meant for me to focus on my own appearance as well, so I kept my own face in the self-portrait as expected. Despite my face, the elements which I added make me seem far from recognition, maybe we are capable of losing ourselves to academic validation. Maybe it reaches the point of losing who we are without good grades and a proper academic score.

To accomplish this intended message, I made sure to use different values through my portrait. The A+ at the top, signifying good grades and academic validation, was drawn as a neon sign that is on. In the meantime, my face and self is in the shadows, meaning I am not lightened while the A+ is. This is able to demonstrate the concept of always making sure to keep the good grades, keeping the neon sign on, while not being concerned with my own state or light. I was also able to demonstrate exhaustion with darker areas on my face, such as dark under my eyes, and even a slight and opaque skull visible on my features. For example my nose, my neck, or my eyes. This way it shows exhaustion, and a harsh condition while the neon sign is well taken care of. In order to continue with a messy outlook of my features, I used pencil in order to smear through my features to create contrast, value, and an overall mess on my face. To do this, I used various pencils such as a mechanical pencil for the beginning guidelines, an HB pencil for the main lines, and both 5B and 8B pencils for darker areas. The paper that I used, a page from my sketchbook of 22.9 cm x 30.5 cm, was also helpful and best to manage the pencils that I used and the detail I wished to incorporate. These decisions were critical at creating a contrast between the grades and myself, showing the different positions and care that they are in. The materials made the smudges and the intended mess possible, and were also helpful when introducing the multiple darker areas that played a role in my artistic intention. Lastly, my own expression also contributes to the intended message. I look tired and worn out, which is most noticeable by my hair and eyes, as well as the exaggerated detail which I included. These details make me unrecognizable, similar to how it's easy not to feel like yourself if not for good grades and a good education or helpful role in society. The need for academic validation and its impact on me and who I am is evident, and open for any other interpretations. 

I chose the size of this drawing to be quite small, even though I knew that this would make the process a little harder. This size was chosen because I wanted to focus on blending and creating value, and I thought this would make it easier. My biggest goal was to make my drawing look as realistic and human as possible. I was able to do this because I used a lot of guidelines in my reference picture and the sketch of the drawing. I used a 2b pencil because it helped me make precise lines. Using this kind of pencil also made it quite easy to blend. Because of this, I wad able to achieve my goals of creating values and shades.

Hats (March 2023)

Pencil on paper 

My artistic intention was to make a fun portrait as I don’t like doing realistic drawings. In order to achieve this I represented myself with many hats as I thought that it’s something unusual and that many people would find it unexpected. In my meaning of fun I think about the unexpected as something that can bring a smile to someone’s face as normally when you see someone you don’t expect to see them wearing multiple hats, something that could be found funny and bring smiles to face making the realistic portrait with making.

I made the many hats because I thought it was a fun thing to do as I’ve stated is unexpected. The hats also represent really good memories with my family as we did something similar with some cousins that I don’t get to see a lot. The sanding was done to try and bring a look of 3D and for the drawing to look not real or alive. Bringing life with shading helps the drawing be fun as it gives this certain lucidity to it as the hats just end up being this certain aspect of surrealism that brings the fun into the equation. I also decided to use paper and pencil to bring simplicity to the drawing. This helps the viewers in a way get a sense of relation to the artwork as people have always used paper and pencil to do their daily work therefore getting a relation with the drawing and sense of simplicity with the pencil and paper.