Victim Mentality & Energy Draining Friendships: Student Questions by VICTORIA MARTINEZ

Instructions

vmartinez111 — 2025-09-29 11:54:03 UTC

Answer each question by adding your response in the correct column for that question.

Try One:

vmartinez111 — 2025-09-29 12:04:34 UTC

Teach simple strategies:

Notice your feelings (Am I tired, upset, or happy after hanging out?).
Set boundaries (limit time with draining friends, say “I need a break”).
Use “I” statements (“I feel tired when we only talk about problems. Can we talk about something fun too?”).
Balance compassion with self-care — it’s okay to care for friends, but you don’t have to fix everything.

vmartinez111 — 2025-09-29 12:05:41 UTC

Imagine you have a friend who always says, “Nothing ever goes right for me,” or “Everyone is against me,” and never wants to do anything fun. How would that make you feel if it happened every day?

vmartinez111 — 2025-09-29 12:06:54 UTC

“Some friends are like batteries — they charge us up.”
“Some are like energy vampires — they drain us.”
Victim Mentality: when someone always feels like things are happening to them, and they don’t take steps to solve problems.

Energy Drainers: people who always take your energy (complain, put you down, only talk about their problems) without giving back.

vmartinez111 — 2025-09-29 12:11:47 UTC

vmartinez111 — 2025-09-29 12:12:27 UTC

2025-09-29 13:19:27 UTC

No I don't have friends that drain me because I've tried to find ppl that wot suck everything out of me and so far iv gotten that.

Someone?

2025-09-29 13:19:44 UTC

There was someone. It made me feel super anxious.

2025-09-29 13:20:01 UTC

tired sad drained annoyed and confused

2025-09-29 13:21:13 UTC

no but I have family that drain me that makes me feel like I am tried of helping people but they make me feel mean when I tell them no

Yeah.

brodrigues17 — 2025-09-29 13:21:18 UTC

Sometimes some of them do, but it's not too often. One of them used to have a very big victim mentality, mostly in the department of being extremely clingy, not wanting me to do anything that they weren't doing, and it got really draining after a while. we ended up having a big argument and split up for a while, but soon they noticed their behavior, and have been working hard to fix it, so we are friends again.

2025-09-29 13:21:21 UTC

I do have one and it makes me sad because we were super close and he just changed - Liam

2025-09-29 13:21:55 UTC

yes, but we don't really talk anymore because of it, and I'm still kinda sad I wasn't able to help them but I'm fine now

2025-09-29 13:22:00 UTC

NO I don't have friends that drain me but I would feel tired and stressed

Esme

2025-09-29 13:23:41 UTC

it makes me feel very miserable like someone took all my positive away from me.

mjordan135 — 2025-09-29 13:23:59 UTC

I had two friends that drained me. One, I had grown up with, and our "inside joke" happened to be insulting me. And every time It would always be "oh you hate me, I should just go" when I would stand up for my boundaries. About four years worth of her making fun, rotating friends monthly, she ghosted me. That made me confused, scared, and very sad. It was even worse to go through, because for the whole year, I had to spend it self reflecting, in quiet, in my room. (continued)

makes me feel annoyed

2025-09-29 13:24:31 UTC

Yes, it makes me feel like I'm constantly looking after someone and nothing ever changes. It's the same thing everyday its lowk annoying.

Friendship: Student Questions

hpayne33 — 2025-10-02 13:07:05 UTC

Yes, When it comes to friendship it changes in different ways of communication in other kind of perspective way to engaged with one another in a little or small space!!!

2025-10-02 13:09:47 UTC

things like oh I've tried that before or I cant do it or its too hard or do it for me this is hard it makes me feel annoyed and confused

2025-10-02 13:10:04 UTC

I feel upset after I am done talking to them cause I feel like I need to help them but they wont take my solions when I fix there problem next time I will say I am sorry but I cant fix all of your prombles or help you if you don't take my ideas.

Esme

2025-10-02 13:10:42 UTC

I would feel miserable because they will be taking all my happiness so then what they are feeling would rub on me and if it happened every day I don't think I can be happy.

:)

2025-10-02 13:11:46 UTC

Some things are " You never talk to me." They would walk away and see if I would follow them. It made me feel like I didn't what to go to school.

2025-10-02 13:12:10 UTC

Well he gets mad when I don't call even when he does not call me he also no matter what happens he still makes it sound like I'm the bad guy so yea it has not worked out well.

Does a brother count?

tsantosstyles — 2025-10-02 13:12:57 UTC

The title explains itself, anyone with a sibling can relate.

2025-10-02 13:13:50 UTC

No, I don't have friends that drain me, but if I did, I would feel stressed and anxious.

noting

2025-10-02 13:14:18 UTC

2025-10-02 13:14:42 UTC

ive said things like have you tried this or take a deep breath and relax

:)

2025-10-02 13:14:45 UTC

I have said "I'm sorry you feel that way I will try my best to spend more time with you".

brodrigues17 — 2025-10-02 13:15:30 UTC

Well, sometimes they would say things like "But you said you would" when I didn't, or "You just don't want to be my friend, do you?" and it was really draining. it made me feel like I had no control over what i got to do, and it felt like I had to listen and just go along with them because I would feel really guilty for advocating for my own time. Yes, I know now that that's what guilt-tripping looks like, and I know to avoid people like that in the future. Of course, they actually weren't aware of how they were acting, and thankfully they learned about how their behavior affected others and have gotten better :]

2025-10-02 13:15:36 UTC

I tried helping but they reject it or say that I need to just listen and understand and they get mad if I don't try to help

2025-10-02 13:15:58 UTC

I don't feel like I have draining friends but I have one friend and when he has a bad day I do every thing I can to help but usually he's still in that mind set weather I do something or not.

You don't get to play with my ______

tsantosstyles — 2025-10-02 13:16:20 UTC

I really could not give a flying fish about what you let me play with

Esme

2025-10-02 13:16:21 UTC

I will feel upset because when people Say I hate my life or my life sucks it is making me feel very mad because do you have a house?do you have food? are you clean? because there are other people who live on the street who don't have any food at all They don't have any water to shower and no new clothes.

:)

2025-10-02 13:17:02 UTC

I think I will work on setting more boundaries I struggle with that but I will try my best.

2025-10-02 13:17:08 UTC

Not all of my friends drain my energy most of my friends are really supportive to my hopes and wishes and give me incoregment

UHHHHH nothing :>

tsantosstyles — 2025-10-02 13:18:02 UTC

yeah, really nothing, they have not changed their behavior.

Yes

2025-10-02 13:18:09 UTC

I had a friend who when I would talk to them they would just talk about their depression. It would make me feel drained because that's all that they would talk to me about, ever. Now, since I do not want to have to burden myself with her feelings when they have reached out to me on many platforms I just do not respond to them so I don't have to be worried for them.

brodrigues17 — 2025-10-02 13:18:35 UTC

I didn't exactly try and help them in the way you think, we sort of had an argument and I just ended up venting about how badly their behavior affected me, and stormed off ;-;. But they did actually listen to my words and checked their behavior, they saw how bad I was doing and fixed it. we are on better terms now.

2025-10-02 13:18:53 UTC

no I have not and no it has not worked because it is some one in my family and I want to but I feel like every time I do they don't lissen or take my sisoly and I don't know what to say cause there are in my family

Next Topic

vmartinez111 — 2025-10-02 13:19:43 UTC

Would you like for me to work on shifting mindset if you are draining or victim mentality? Just say Yes or No. Or suggest a topic of focus.

2025-10-02 13:20:04 UTC

I have tried to help but they get mad or say I don't understand so I just stopped and they got more mad but after awhile they stop and were are not friends anymore

brodrigues17 — 2025-10-02 13:20:11 UTC

I have been trying to get better about setting my boundaries, especially with my time and how I spend it. It's been helping :]

Field Trip Day

hpayne33 — 2025-10-02 13:20:14 UTC

{Notice Your Feelings} when I have a second to hangout or needed a break from all the frustration in my own beliefs and having patients to see if I'm ; Tired, Upset, or Happy after hanging out with different people with its.

2025-10-02 13:20:27 UTC

I think I will try the notice your feeling so I know what to or say

Set boundaries

tsantosstyles — 2025-10-02 13:20:32 UTC

"my boundary is to leave me alone for the rest of the day"

2025-10-02 13:21:01 UTC

I have had Many friends that drained my energy and changed my mood from great to not so great . To do that he said things such as,"why does this always happen to me, what did I do I it's not my fault. cry cry cry. this made me feel nervous and tired

:)

2025-10-02 13:23:14 UTC

I think that would be good.

(Im sorry if I miss read)

2025-10-02 13:24:49 UTC

I would try skill 2 because a lot of my friends don't know boundaries of mine.

2025-10-02 13:26:24 UTC

I hear them say positive stuff and it doesn't make me mad.

2025-10-02 13:27:43 UTC

so the same friend I was talking about,usually he says stuff like "I'm worthless" or "nobody cares" and I get it. somtimes I feel that way too,but this happens like every other day and I find him coming to me the most

2025-10-02 13:30:34 UTC

nothing because they haven't said anything negative about me.

2025-10-02 13:31:08 UTC

im going to try balance compassion with self care.

brodrigues17 — 2025-10-03 12:54:45 UTC

yeah i think that would be a good idea. >:3

2025-10-03 12:58:05 UTC

I set boundaries and they got mad and left me alone

2025-10-03 12:58:32 UTC

sure