Mark: 26/30
1. This paragraph fully satisfies the requirement of the task and clearly presents a fully developed response.
2. Not perfect but good enough
3. The ideas are relevant to the topic. It can show some significant changes. The details are OK.

4, In general, the vocabulary may not be advanced enough.
*words can be replaced
failure -> bankruptcy
disease -> pandemic
change -> transformation
needed-> highly required
fire -> lay off
 5. The paragraph uses a wide range of structures such as relative clauses. There is no inaccurate word or misunderstanding sentence.

2.    Yes, it does. ( first, second, last)

3.    The details of the 2^nd idea are irrelevant to the topic ( which should have focused on the development of technology)

4.    No, it doesn’t. Words that can be replaced with more advanced ones: 

-       Travel restriction -> lockdown policies

-       Fire -> dismiss

-       Cause -> trigger

-       Big -> major

-       Popular -> widespread/omnipresent/ubiquitous
- needed -> required

 

5.    No, it doesn’t ( During the…., which makes the profit of many companies -> should be added with adj/ v )