TIPS FOR SOFTETING COMMUNICATION by Melannie

Use modal verbs like “could,” “would,” and “might” to change your intonation

orellmel — 2024-11-08 17:53:23 UTC

When you add a modal verb to a sentence, you can turn a direct request or suggestion into a more polite one. This strategy works because adding a modal verb creates a little more distance from your strong opinion so that the other person might be more receptive. For example:

Saying "We need more time to decide" is very direct. Saying "We might need more time to decide" suggests that there’s the opportunity to work together and decide how much time you have to decide.

Use negative contractions with positive adjectives to soften critical feedback.

orellmel — 2024-11-08 17:53:54 UTC

Instead of saying "That's a bad idea", say "that isn't a great idea".
Instead of saying "Your premise is false", say "your premise isn't based on accurate data".

When acknowledging a deliverable, say thank you.

orellmel — 2024-11-08 17:54:12 UTC

Instead of saying "I got the report last week." say "Thank you for sending the report last week.“

Concerned how your message will be interpreted? What is the worst case scenario for how this will be interpreted?

orellmel — 2024-11-08 17:55:00 UTC

Think: What is the worst case scenario for how this will be interpreted?
Action: Soften message and refine what you say.

Situation: People are coming to me with a concern

orellmel — 2024-11-08 17:55:32 UTC

Action: Reflective listening
- “So what i’m hearing you say is that x, y and z”, “Is that right?”
- “Let me do a quick check for understanding..”
- “Let me check that i’m on the same page”
- “Let me see if i’ve got this right”

Consider doing a PSA to explain your communication style

orellmel — 2024-11-08 17:56:13 UTC

- “I process information by asking a lot of questions to make sure I understand the situation completely. Do you mind if I ask some questions now to do a quick check for understanding or would you prefer I follow up in writing?”

When experiencing conflict, encourage the other person to speak first so that you have more information and data to respond

orellmel — 2024-11-08 17:57:25 UTC

Try using a default response of Learn & Be Curious when in conflict. For example, “I’m having a hard time understanding your perspective on this, could you explain why you think we should do X?” or “I’m curious as to why you think we should try this approach versus another one, could you give me more information about your thought process?”