My Introspective Perspective of the Universe by JANE ALCANTARA

WHO AM I?

janealcantara — 2023-12-28 14:47:04 UTC

Every time I am asked this exact question, my brain automatically thinks of an answer yet can't come up with anything other than to directly utter my given name. I am Jane Alcantara, I am 21 years old born on January 05, 2002. I had a difficult childhood since my Mother passed away when I was 8 years old, you can fill in the blank what a little child felt back then. I have one older brother and one older sister, I am the youngest of the three. I am now a college student taking up, the Bachelor of Elementary Education at Cebu Technological University Tuburan Campus. I have four very close friends namely Lalaine, Jilo, Princess, and Junlie. They have been with me since high school. They have seen the worst of me and yet they decided to stick with me. I am very close with my sister too. All of my struggles and difficulties in life, I have shared it with my sister and I believe that we are each others' backbone. We have learned to stand on our own feet and battle life with fierceness because our upbringing made us see the downside of life in which our maturity was a result of all the trials we've faced and not our age. I am just a simple girl with a dream of aiming for the stars. I am slowly making myself see the universe through my perspective wherein I am the main character who can see the beauty of all the plot twists, the breakthroughs and the failures. I am now learning to celebrate my growth and my personal development. Slowly learning to love myself, even the parts that are less likely to be loved. I am now accepting the broken version of me that slowly learning to heal the wounds of my childhood experiences. I am now living the universe through my introspective perspective.

MY BIGGEST FEAR

janealcantara — 2023-12-28 15:26:12 UTC

My number one biggest fear would be losing the people I love especially my sister. You cannot comprehend the pain of losing someone you love so much. I can't imagine my life without the people who have helped me become the person I am right now. Letting go someone I admire because of my insecurities is one of my biggest fears also. I have experienced entertaining someone who is God-centered, kind, and intelligent. He was someone I could imagine myself having a relationship with but somehow, my insecurities top all the positive attributes that he have. My biggest fear confronted me and I have lost the battle. It would be heart-shattering to let go of someone again. Also, one of my biggest fears is to disappoint the people I take courage from, my backbone, and my supporters. I am afraid that I cannot meet their expectations and that I will become a failure in their eyes. To lose myself in the process of attaining someone's approval is also my biggest fear. I want to recreate my insights about other peoples' opinions of me, I want to only take constructive criticism from those people who matter to me and no one else. Lastly, my biggest fear is to forget God in times of happiness. I want to always remind myself that everything I have is a blessing that is given to me by the Lord and I want to be forever grateful to him in times of sorrow and happiness. I want to always remind myself that God is always in control and that I am blessed and I am navigating this life with his guidance.

WHAT KEEPS ME GOING?

janealcantara — 2023-12-28 16:00:10 UTC

One of the things that keeps me going is the dreams my sister and I set for ourselves. I have stated that we have had a difficult childhood and our experiences remarkably stem ambitious ambition that we must be successful in our career paths so that we can make our Mama proud and also prove to people who have looked down on us that we made it. The people who have discouraged and judged our situations also gave me the motivation to keep going. Every bad word thrown at us, my sister and I stayed strong and firmed to withstand it all. There was a time wherein we had to be separated from each other to be able to continue the progress of our education, we have sacrificed a lot because we want to finish our education. What keeps me going also is the one thing our Mother said before she passed away it was she dreamed of us on stage, holding our diplomas. I am determined to make that dream of my Mother come to life because even though she's gone, her presence is felt whenever we are in agony. Her presence is felt whenever I felt protected in situations I felt bare. Her presence is felt whenever I surpass a difficult challenge. What keeps me going is the fact that someone far away is watching over me, wearing a proud smile on her face because she sees how hard I fought for this life, for the life she wants my sister and me to have. What keeps me going is the fact that God is with me with every step I take. I also think that in every "no" there would be a big "yes" ahead from Him for the plans He made are better than we can imagine. What keeps me going is the unwavering support and encouragement coming from my close friends and family. What keeps me going is the fact that in the end, everything would be worth it.