nope. i cannot let your birthday pass without sending you a gift. not once will i ever. and no, i cannot even think about how i will make this one a lot more special than the last one. or a lot more special than the other gifts i have sent you but i will try.

do you remember your birthday last year? when i didn’t find out it was your birthday until like after 2 days you told me? and we were only starting with our relationship and so i wanted everything perfect. so when i found at the last minute, naturally, being mary, i freaked out. but girlfriends do what they had to do. it was the 3^rd of October and i had to come up with something. it was actually the last few days of school until it was semestral break for me and so i was catching up with my grades and everything. i finished my test and straight up went around to ask people what their fave love songs are just so i can have options to choose from for my mini playlist for you. i listed everything down, and if i remember correctly, i chose 20 songs. all i think would express just exactly how much you mean to me even though we were just merely a few months shy away from strangers.

that has been exactly a year ago. exactly a year ago since i made my first birthday gift for you. a playlist and a mini letter. it has been exactly a year since i celebrated your birthday with you. maybe not physically, but always by heart i was and will always be there with you.

i don’t honestly know where i’m headed with this. i can’t even think of what to give you today. usually, couples would give each other pretty material things but we don’t roll that way. 4000 miles and how to even figure out what to give to my man on his birthday. but hey, i actually came up with something??? so i do hope you enjoy this. i hope you like it. and i hope you cherish in your heart what i have made for you. i love you, max ian carrwick. always and forever.

back in 2014 i never thought someone can mean to me

as much as you do. back in 2014 i never thought you would

be someone so special to me, someone frankly so much of a stranger

yet you came into my life like you know you already would

be staying with me for the rest of my life. and honestly, not once you have

ever failed me. for over more than a year you have taught me how to be

a strong person. someone who is not weak-willed, someone who doesn’t have to

rely on people for my happiness. someone who

you will be proud to call your girlfriend. someone who

out of being so shy and reserved, have evolved into an

utterly confident and proud woman. for that i can never be so thankful. God has given me

a person who is the exact opposite of me, yet i learn from you. i

recall being very weak but you have always believed in me.

eventually, i am this now. eventually i have grown and look where i am now!

entirely, i owe it all to you. i owe you a lot of things actually. and i

vow that someday i will be able to return back

everything that you have done for me. i hope to

return back all the life lessons and all the happiness that

you have caused in my life. and now for your birthday, i hope

that you understand that if anything, you are the God-given gift that

has been sent to me. you are a gift in itself not just for me but for everyone

in your life. you are someone who would brighten up everyone’s day.

not just for people you know but also for strangers because you are just that

good of a person. i may have not known you as long as those people

that are with you and have been in your life long, but i do know that

once someone has you in their life, it’s instantly better. everything is just

more perfect. your entire presence is always such a joy and

every time i am sad, you know that just the thought of you would

already make me the happiest. at the thought of you, all my problems would

naturally just be forgotten. i know it entirely means i

depend on you too much, and i know that you are already aware of

it. but i know you know that sometimes, all it takes it the thought that you

love me and the thought that you care for me; the thought that

our relationship is alright and that we are both alright and the

very smile on my face would never leave. you have some sort of happy virus that

everyone in your life would be very glad to have as well.

your smile, your laughter and just everything about you is so special.

our love has not been entirely easy and we both

undeniably know that. we are separated by

four thousand miles of land and water and although not separated by hours,

our love knows the distance very well. you are a gift in a case that you havent

really given up. if anything, you only make our love stronger.

every time i feel like we won’t make it, you do something

very beautiful and entirely romantic that i just think nothing would

ever stand in our way. that nothing would ever

retaliate from us and nothing would ever stop us

however others might want it.

and sometimes that’s all the thought i ever need to keep me sane and

pursue our relationship even though it has been hard, just

persevere so that someday we will be able to meet. and

you and i would finally have the life we both want. to

be able to have you the closest to me and to have you

in my arms is my wish every single night. to be able to press my lips on your own.

rest my head on your shoulders and just be able to cuddle

to sleep. that’s all i wish for every night and i pray for every single time i wake up.

however now, i hope this is alright for you. whatever happens the

distance will never stop me from making you feel the most special.

a different letter every time we celebrate another stepping stone in our life. i love

you, baby. i hope somehow i have made your day a whole lot special.

yours, mary.

ps. i know youre lazy but do me a favor. grab a pen and paper and write down the first letter on every single line of that ‘poem’. i love you, baby. i hope you like it.