In kind of keeping with transitioning from the old to the new, I became curious about using one of my chapters to explore one extreme to another, and how a transition between the two states could occur.

This chapter was strongly led by nonliteral choices, and I feel best follows Tufnell and Crickmay's principles out of all of my chapters. I started initially with the chapter title Chaos into Clarity and created brainstorms from that. I asked myself:

·       What do these words mean to me?

·       How do I relate these words to my senses?

·       What instinctively arises when I think of these words?

From here I brainstormed words, imagery, colors, and lengthy descriptions which served as the foundation for my score. I did couple these brainstorms with a chance score derived from Turner’s book, because at the time I was having mental blocks in transitioning out of a musical theatre headspace. The chance score from Turner’s book goes height, bulbous, grotesque, sustained, push, diagonally backward left, in nine counts, large, and with a level of 3/5 release (1971, p. 42-43). My attempt at this can be seen following this post. This score eventually became the start of the Chaos section which I felt made filming this chapter easier because I started with the same movements and sensation every time, which made slipping into flow easier and felt like I could focus on what I wanted to explore.

Besides the initial brainstorms that fueled my ideas, I found further inspiration in Cohen's exploration of the body's arterial and venous blood flow. I connected arterial flow with the concept of Chaos and venous flow with Clarity. Cohen described arterial rhythm as 'the pulse rhythm of the arteries from the heart towards the periphery," and venous rhythm as "the cyclic, wave-like rhythm of the veins from the periphery towards the heart" (Cohen, 1993, p. 72). This idea also contributed to my use of additional sound. The sounds of Chaos drew from the outward, expressive nature of arterial movement while the sounds of Clarity reflected the calming, homeward-bound sensation of venous flow.

I noticed that you do a lot of snapping and other sounds. Can you talk a little bit about this more?

Sure, the added sounds are from me snapping, slapping, clapping, stomping, and breathing. During one attempt at the score during my rehearsal process, my brain randomly decided to remember an idea I had weeks earlier about adding body produced sounds to my movement in addition to the breath. I felt strongly that it was important to include this choice after reading Ann Cooper Albright’s stance about the voice. She writes, "The voice is the sound of the body in motion. Contrary to popular opinion, dance is not a "silent" artform. Most people find it difficult to dance without an audible breath, and vocal sounds can help the dancer achieve various qualities of movement. The voice is like another limb, stretching out into the space of the performance" (Albright, 1997, p.107). I realized that I was disrupting my previously held notion that the breath needed to not be heard by the mic. But, I loved my breath in the shots. I loved that my breath became an extension of my movement and helped convey how the internal parts of my body were processing and moving through the movements.

I know you briefly mentioned that this chapter matched your framework’s expectations. In what way does this chapter respond to your framework?

To position this explanation, I’d like to present one of Turner’s definitions. “It is not the source, then, but the conception and treatment of materials that determines whether or not a dance is nonliteral” (Turner, 1971, p. 23). So, the conception came from a nonliteral source, chaos and clarity. I feel that these are intangible concepts that are not easily put into object or things based in reality. The brainstorms, a chance operation score from Turner and my countless improvs serve as my materials. All of these derive from the randomness of pulling ideas and concepts out of thin air which is nonliteral to me. Now, I do acknowledge that it can be argued that there is a light linear progression; the Chaos into Clarity part, but I argue that it does not follow the multifaceted linear storylines of many musicals that I have done previously. And, thus is a significant step away from my musical theatre choreographic process.

My inspiration for this chapter began with the idea of connection and what that was like to experience in the body. I soon realized that a greater challenge would be to explore this idea with myself rather than working with dancers. I noticed that I still had a lot to explore within myself in how I can strengthen the relationship of my movement to myself (Doughty, 2019). As I went along, I realized that a fundamental part of how I connect with myself was how I needed to rejuvenate my body, mind, and spirit to prepare for my practice.

Questions that started arising were:

·       What would it be like to attend to the body/mind/spirit moment by moment?

·       What do I need to explore to feel satiated/satisfied?

·       How do I connect with myself? Or just even, how do I start that journey?

Drawing from my personal background and my parents' professions, the medical world has been a recurrent area of knowledge throughout my life. And, I decided to explore these questions through the lens of anatomy, which I have not done before. I was primarily inspired and intrigued by Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen's work in Body Mind Centering Technique (BMC) (1998) as well as supplemental inspiration from Miranda Turner's book Body, Space, Image (1993).

I became particularly interested in Cohen’s discussion of fluids as a lens to explore movement. This can be seen towards the middle of the video where my hair is in a bun. Between exploring cellular and intercellular movement, I found that I was able to focus more on the subtle nuances of movement that can often get overlooked when viewing dance from a distance such as a proscenium stage (Cohen, 1993, p. 70 – 71). I explored that there was much potential in smaller scale movements of the fingers, knuckles, wrists, elbows, toes, plantar muscles, knees, and ankles. I feel that this discovery is beneficial to nurturing my work because of how I can continue to make explorations and move when my whole body perhaps doesn’t feel like larger scale movements such as traveling or weight bearing activities. I also feel that this smaller sized dance could be the beginning to exploring dance and movement for close up spaces such as immersive theatre.

Another exploration that I kept returning to immerse in was the lymph fluid system. Cohen’s suggestion of touching the skin gently to bring about awareness to the movement of this fluid unlocked a warmup activity that continues to be very enjoyable (1993, p.71). I discovered that by moving the lymph fluid towards and away from the center of my body, I felt a sense of warmth and activation. This aligns with Cohen’s description that “Lymph […] deals with defense, survival, the setting of limits and the crystallization of action” (Cohen, 1993, p.76). This bodily awareness was different than that of running or jumping jacks typical of a more cardio centered warmup. I felt that this warm-up activity is a way for me to arrive and prepare my body and mind to work when I want to gradually arrive to a prepared state.

The main exploration that was inspired by Cohen’s work was a score that I surmised. This can be seen twice in the video - one take is around the 1:38 mark and another is at the 4:18 mark. The score is Cell > Tissue > Organ > Organ System > Organism. I explored this score as a warm-up, keeping in mind the idea of growing the bodily awareness as a preparation for work. The extensive list of the various organs and their perceived expression in her book Sensing, Feeling and Action opened me to realize that while each organ could provide insight when explored alone, it was the culmination of all these organs and systems working together that built a strong foundation in awareness that I felt warmed up the fully capacity of my dancing body. (Cohen, 1993, p.38-39). In a way, I explore this score to reconfirm for myself that my instrument is versatile and full of endless possibilities for movement.  

Though not explored as extensively as the previously mentioned areas of the body, it should be noted that I did spend time exploring bones, muscles, and sections of the body (head, arms, legs, upper torso, lower torso, anterior space, posterior space, etc.) to keep my mind flexible and open to discovery. Both Turner and Cohen did inspire these explorations, but I ended up returning to the fluids and explorations mentioned above because I felt that they were something new that I had not explored. 

The influence of Cohen’s descriptions led to my ability to disregard intention toward a goal and focus instead on having an experience. This mindset completely shifted how I see "work." I no longer had to rely on feeling like I needed to make an outcome or reach a goal. Eventually, I was able to reach a place where I could happily say, “I don’t know what the outcome will be, or even if there will be one.” This is one of the moments where I knew that I was stepping into a new, freeing mindset that bears little resemblance to my previous way of working.  

You kept the shots of you with your hair in a bun. I thought you didn’t like those?

You are right. Initially, I didn’t because I felt that the bun look was too visually representative of how I used to teach musical theatre. But after sleeping on it, I decided that the movement captured in those shots was still my work. They are still an important part of my process and this project’s journey. I see the addition of these shots saying, “Look, I’m not perfect, and I didn’t get every shot to be perfect either, but these are still explorations detailing my research. That makes them just as valid as any other shot.”

Notes from this experience:

• It's fun to slap thighs and stop on the ground.

• Thistle is pokey. Our working relationship is that of begrudging office co-workers.

• Mind the space for dog droppings as it is one of the more frequently traveled areas.

• I have a much higher likelihood of people crossing this part of the park than the other chapters' locations. Most dogs are friendly. Be aware of flying tennis balls.

• Most people will want to stop and talk to you about what in the world you are doing. This is a great way to clarify and refine your thesis statement. Some humans are chatty.

• The bench can provide counter weight.

• The longer the grass, the more traction it provides.

• Sunshine makes for stunning videography.

Notes:

• I don't like my hair in a bun. Looks too uptight. I'll try a ponytail for next time.

• I'm indecisive about my shoes. I can't decide if I want to stick with the same tennis shoes or find some that are all black. Opinions from peers are needed.

• It's clear I'm a little flustered and rushed in my performance. Teagan is a patient person and is more than happy to be with me to get good shots.

• It can be really hard to determine the audio quality out on site. I should bring headphones next time to double check things before moving on.

• With the device that I have, the zoom feature isn't very smooth at all. We should refrain from using it, I'm ok with long wide shots. I'm not looking to show my videoing abilities as a feature of this project.

• I'm curious how the sound quality would turn out if I connected the mic and hit it close to where I was dancing. The integrated mic in the camera is variable, and it is not recording a consistent sound quality all the time.

• I am not a huge fan of Teagan standing behind the bench for an extended period of time. The backrest of the bench blocks my body and some of the movement is not captured. However, there are a couple of moments where Teagan did capture a closer view of my face that showed my expressions. I want to capture that somehow...

• I'd like to see myself integrate my research more during the shots. Perhaps I need to bring a list of ideas...

• My working relationship with the thistle is deteriorating. We may need to involve HR.

• I gave Teagan a walking path to try, and it ended up being a great idea. I'd like to draw/write a clearer path for her to try next time. It has the potential of being a strong shot.

• On a whim, there was a bush next to a cattle gate that I thought had potential. This footage reveals to my eye that it would be a great opportunity to explore a close-up as well as small dance.

• Lastly, I enjoy watching myself have a good time. My genuine expressions are a delight and complete the chapter.

"So, to keep myself present and available as a creative artist. I must listen to my spirit when it wants something. Whether that it is going home and forcing my body into a different circadian rhythm while enjoying the PNW wilderness, getting a goddamn massage, or taking a hike in England. Let me make one thing clear to my future self, you cannot force yourself into the space and expect magic to happen. You need to feel comfortable, relaxed, and well-received by people in the space (this includes yourself too, goofball). Do what your spirit is calling for in terms of rejuvenation. Your body knows what it needs and wants in order to feel happy. Follow it. Living in a foreign country is hard enough, quit making it extra difficult."

Well, Ain't What it Used to be is a sad, sentimental/nostalgic chapter. In this chapter, I explored the relationship between myself and my mother during the time when I first left home to go to study my bachelor’s degree up until recently and the waves of emotions along the way. On the left side of the screen, I play myself during my young adult years trying to navigate my bachelor’s program. On the right, my mother during the same time period.

What first drew you to this idea?

In the studio one day, I was particularly homesick and missing her, so I let my mind wander. I was reminded of all the sewing projects that she has done across many years and the stitching she loved to use. The pictures following this detail a flower embroidery as well as a wave stitch that she used frequently across many garments n’ projects. These stitching patterns were the initial inspiration that led me to derive much of the material for this chapter from my relationship with my Mum. Did you see what I did there? I did a Bridish thing!

Yes, you did do a British thing.

Anyway, as I began working on how to approach what is essentially two people and their relationship, I followed a suggestion from Stuart Hodes’s book A Map of Making Dances. It reads, “Implied Relationship (One Dancer). Make a solo that evokes an absent partner” (Hodes, 1998, p. 38). Each side of the dance behaves as if they can’t hear or see the other but feel their presence. Much like how my mother and I are on opposite sides of the world, but we each know that the relationship endures despite time and distance.

Aww…

Yeah, this dance was very fulfilling for me to explore. But, I don’t think it follows Turner’s nonliteral dance very much.

Oh? What makes you say that?

Continuing off of what I mentioned previously in our discussion about Chaos into Clarity, much of this chapter was derived from imagery of non-abstract concepts. For instance, I invoke my mother rocking me as a baby, the Idaho Rocky Mountains, a Ponderosa pine, the action of sewing with a thread and needle. And while I can justify this from Hodes’s (1998), Tufnell & Crickmay’s (1990), Anderson’s (1987), and Preston-Dunlop’s (1998) encouragement that imagery is a valid place from which to draw movement, I don’t feel that this imagery aligns with Turner’s book because this imagery is traceable to concrete, tangible things that exist in real life (1971, p. 29-30). We can go and touch a tree, a mountain—those memories I had with my Mum actually took place at a moment in time in reality. My understanding is that Turner describes nonliteral work as stemming from ideas and concepts that are not a literal interpretation of something that has existed or already exists (1971, p. 63).

Hmm...

It’s interesting because, in the book A Map of Making Dances, this chapter really evidences Hodes's suggestion to create dance using body language, which is prominently featured in my mother’s part as she acts out many of her feelings and messages (1998, p. 38). I also see how there is the suggestion to derive movement from an image (Hodes, 1991, p. 33). That’s something a lot of my past work relied on—imagery from the story, context, or design ideas from the creative team in musical theatre, whether it was costumes, lights, or set. I wanted to move away from that during this project, but the dancing in this chapter inevitably brought me right back to imagery.

I also felt that since this chapter had a strong linear progression, it disqualifies the work from being considered nonliteral. Originally, I did not intend for the chapter to contain this strong of a linear progression, but at the time, I was following Turner when she says, "Instead of forcing the material into a predetermined form, one lets the material dictate that form" (1971, p. 45). At the time, I was letting instinct, gut feeling, and desire guide this chapter’s choreographic process, and I think it just so happened that the chapter fell together in this way. I think if Turner saw this final product, she might say that the linear progression would be okay if it was still in the rehearsal process and being worked on, but that the final result should be void of this strong linear progression. Nevertheless, I’m satisfied with what I came up with because I approached this chapter in a nonliteral process, which was the point of this project.

Notes:

• check the space before filming

"Bodies are not stable categories" (Albright, 1997, p. 118). I don't always need to provide clear divisions about my movement because my body is an every changing/shifting being that has unlimited possibilities for movement.

Blondell Cummings talks about her solo work when she remembers, "When I do solo work, I am acting as the voice of the internal self. But that doesn't exclude the fact that that internal self has a desire to share with other internal selves" (Albright, 1997, p. 148). This is how I position myself across these chapters. I am dancing the content of the five sections as different selves.

Notable anecdote: Interior Dancer/ Interior Dance

Hodes brought me solace and a name to a practice that I have long been doing. As he describes it, Interior Dance is when a practitioner closes their eyes and allows the moving image of a dancer to take hold of their mind's eye, then when the practitioner can embody the movement opens their eyes and moves. This can be done going back and forth between eyes closed and open to allow for 'replays' or new visualizations (Hodes, 1998, p. 28). I have done this practice quite frequently in the past; however, it became a useful tool through this project's process. My body was not always able to keep up with the passion and ideas in my brain, but by using this tool I was able to visualize movement and attempt to jot my ideas down to explore when my body was ready.

Notes:

• I'm thankful to myself for the percussion idea. It turned out fantastic in the test footage.

• Make sure your bags are well out of the edges of the framing area. I could tell Teagan was doing her best to avoid my red sack, which altered the angle of the shots.

• Perhaps try clipping the mic to the stick fence and point it towards myself for clearer, consistent audio.

• My understanding of the score is becoming clearer; more rehearsal would be beneficial.

• Having Teagan present while I was making audible noise helped me feel more comfortable and fall into the score easier.

• Again, I would like to see hair in a low pony. A bun does not fit this chapter either.

• I need to start mid-stage so that my movements don't get cut off.

• There really needs to be a stand of some sort for the camera to sit on because while Teagan can be very steady, I feel that the quality would come out better with a camera stand. We would also benefit from having it the same for multiple shots.

• We are very close to what I was seeing in my mind.

• For my part, I can utilize more of the upstage space that leads farther down the path.

• Both scores are becoming clearer in my mind; it will only get better from here.

• I need about 1 min for mom to hold pose at the end, then fade out.

• I wonder what would happen if I lay some sticks down the center line or practice the hand bit more so I don't cross the center line.

Cohen, B. C. (1993). Sensing, feeling, and action: The experiential anatomy of body-mind centering. Contact Editions.

Charlotte Spencer (Choreographer). (2013). Walking stories. https://www.charlottespencerprojects.org/projects-1/project-three-pjd75

Cloud, A. (2020). Intentionality score [Improvisation score]. University of Colorado Boulder.

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2014). Flow and the foundations of positive psychology: The collected works of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Springer Netherlands. https://www.rnibbookshare.org/browse/book/2898420/flow%20and%20the%20foundations%20of%20positive%20psychology

Cunningham, M., & Lesschaeve, J. (1999). The dancer and the dance (Rev. and updat). Marion Boyars.

Doughty, S. (2019). I notice that I’m noticing. In V. L. Midgelow (Ed.), The Oxford Handbook of Improvisation in Dance. (pp. 119-134) Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780199396986.013.34

Hanstein, P. (1999). From idea to research proposal: Balancing the systematic and serendipitous. In S. A. Fraleigh & P. Hanstein (Eds.), Researching dance: Evolving modes of inquiry (pp. 22 – 61). Dance Books.

Hodes, S. (1998). A Map of Making Dances. Ardsley House Publishers Inc.

Leanord, G. (1991). Mastery: The keys to success and long-term fulfillment. Penguin Group.

Merriam-Webester (2024). Ephemeral. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ephemeral

Preston-Dunlop, V. (2014). Looking at dances: A choreological perspective on choreography. The Noverre Press.

Stephan Koplowitz (Choreographer). (2008). Stephan Koplowitz: Taskforce (LA) liquid landscapes. Los Angeles, US. https://www.stephankoplowitz.com/taskforcela

Stephan Koplowitz (Choreographer). (2009, June 28) Stephan Koplowitz: Taskforce (UK) liquid landscapes. Plymouth, UK. https://www.stephankoplowitz.com/taskforceuk

Stephan Koplowitz. (2017, April 17). Stephan Koplowitz: Taskforce UK 4 min performance highlights 2009 [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yx0POXKzT3k

Stephan Koplowitz. (2017, April 28). Stephan Koplowitz: Taskforce LA 4 minute highlight tour [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnKLYaqSbHo

Tufnell, M., & Crickmay, C. (1993). Body space image: Notes towards improvisation and performance (New). Dance Books.

Turner, M. J. (1971). New dance: Approaches to nonliteral choreography. University of Pittsburgh Press.

Another practitioner that I have used as inspiration for this project is Stephan Koploqitz. In his work with site-specific performance, I was drawn to his work with TaskForce: Liquid Landscapes across both the Los Angles, California and Plymouth, UK sites (Koplowitz, 2008, 2009, 2017). The engagement with the shallow pool at the Watercourt in Los Angeles was particularly notable to me (Koplowitz, 2017). I was intrigued with how the engagement with water became an opportunity to use what was available on site to create additional movement. Dancers used their hands to scoop and brush at the water, which then led the water spray to act as an extension of their movement. This further strengthened the engagement with the space and created unique movement specific to that space. This got me thinking about how to re-frame my approach with the trunk that sticks out of the ground in the Disassociation site. I began to ask, "How can this trunk be an addition instead of something to avoid?" Stephan's work with TaskForce: Liquid Landscapes helped inform my choreographic practice by opening up my approach to finding the strengths of the inherent objects already present in the space to further accentuate my ideas and movement.

• Linear story line progression limited the choreography and movement ideas to follow the story's progression.

• Individual choreographic movements themselves were commonplace as they were standard technical movements from across the Ballet, Jazz, and Tap styles (e.g. kick-ball-change from Jazz).

• Setting the choreography so that for the majority of the time the chest and face project the energy outward towards the audience or "facing front" as is typical in a proscenium theatre setting.

• An upright bodily posture; specifically, vertical spinal and cervical spine alignment.

• Emphasis on movement remaining within an established/codified technique (e.g. Ballet, Jazz, Tap, etc.).

• Strong spatial awareness of self and one's relationship to other dancers and the space itself.

• Larger scale, full-bodied movements.

• Sharp accentuated movements often in correspondence to music accents or plot points in a scene.

• Energy carried through all muscles in the body. Muscle tone is often carried through the entirety of a musical number.

• Choreography is meant to be refined and replicated for many performances across weeks, months, or even years. Little to no change in the quality of the choreography should be evident across performances.

New Choreographic Codes:

• No clear linear progression; lack of storyline.

• Use of limbs and torso in spontaneous fashion. The body does not follow a codified dance style and explores movement freely and organically.

• Disregard for dancing to an audience or being front facing. Choreography is set omnidirectional.

• No spinal alignment. The body explores various ways to move about the sites with the spine in no specific spinal alignment.

• Disregard for where the body is in space. The body moves through the space freely.

• All size and range of movements can be explored from individual fingers, to the pelvis, or to the posterior headspace.

• All movement qualities and textures can be explored, interrupted, or questioned freely.

• The body can explore moving energy around to isolate different areas and explore various degrees of energy output.

• Choreography and movement can be ephemeral. The body does not need to be able to reproduce movement unless desired. Choreography and movement can morph, shift, or evolve over time.

Photo Credit: Myself

A couple of notes before we get started:

• If you have not filled out an RSVP for the walking tour on September 4th 2024, please do so here.

• For safety, the walking tour will not commence until all participants have completed the RSVP form. Thank you for your cooperation.

• Please be aware of your surroundings during the tour. This includes but is not limited to: rocks, sticks, dogs, the public, tree branches, etc.

• I will be at the front of the group acting as your tour guide. Do feel free to ask me questions as we go along, however I've designed this tour to be self-guided.

• I recommend you view this tour via the slideshow feature. This can be found under the three dots button, then the triangle button.

My project focuses on my journey to grow my capacities as a choreographer. The question that I explore throughout all of my chapters is “How can I explore a new way of making choreography that opposes what I have grown up doing in my musical theatre background?” I wanted to discover for myself what were old musical theatre choreographic codes that I tended to lean into and what were new choreographic codes that I could explore and play around with. Overall, I do answer my question utilizing a nonliteral dance framework as presented by Margery J. Turner.

Wait, you said a choreographic code? What is that?

Ah yes, I am using Valerie-Preston Dunlop’s description of codes. She describes codes as unspoken “inherent theatre practices” that are acted on innately without much forethought (Preston-Dunlop, 1998, p.9). So, take for instance when you go see a dance production on a typical proscenium stage where you sit in the flippy cushiony seats, and as soon as the house lights go down, the audience gets quiet and the show begins. The code is lights go down means be quiet the show is about to start. While Preston-Dunlop specifically references the theatre environment, I took this definition further to encompass internal codes about my choreographic practice in musical theatre and how could I get to a place where I was learning and exploring new choreographic codes.

What drew you to Turner’s description of nonliteral dance?

I was initially drawn to her book, New Dance: Approaches to Nonliteral Choreography (1971), because I was trying to look for an area of my practice where I could not imagine the outcome of the work. This inability to predict or foresee what would happen meant that I would discover true growth. I believe that I learn best in the unknown.  

Why do you want to explore making choreography in this new way?

I firmly believe that people grow at the place in which they are challenged. Doing choreography for Musical Theatre and other theatrical projects still brings me fulfillment, and I will continue to include them in my life. But, I felt that this project was the perfect opportunity to reach into something unimaginable.

Why set it in the Countess of Chester Country Park?

I chose to set my project in Country Park because I wanted the presentation aspect to reflect a journey through nature. Growing up surrounded by the forests of the Pacific Northwest, I felt a strong connection to those landscapes, and Country Park's setting bears a strong resemblance. I also enjoyed working outside with my 7103 project last fall and wanted to continue exploring outside. The Wooden Path, the part of this walking tour that is under the cover of trees, serves as a metaphor for the artistic process and life itself—with its unpredictable twists, turns, and moments of uncertainty. Bringinshaw's exploration of how dance and architecture can disrupt the traditional "logic of visualization" inspired me to create an experience that challenges both my expectations and the audience’s expectations about the setting of this work (2001, p.184). Additionally, Sarco-Thomas highlights the benefits of outdoor performance arguing that outdoor work does provide both myself and audience members with health-giving benefits, but it also encourages a “rethinking of our relationships with wild places” (2017, p. 345). I hope that this walking tour invites my audience to notice and consider their own codes about what they codify as a ‘dance performance’ (Doughty, 2019, Preston-Dunlop, 1998).

• This project was good way to spend the summertime and have an obligation to go outside.

• Being able to video was a huge benefit to find a balance between the demands of the project and my body's dancing capacity. I felt like this project helped me learn about what I need for a healthy balance between performance and research.

• By spending much of the project working with improv, I learned how to prompt myself with ideas and chance operations.

• I enjoyed having absolute free reign over what the content of my movement could be about. The nonliteral choreographic process was daunting at first, but I enjoy its ability to make anything into movement material.

• By working with just myself as the dancer and the choreographer, it was easier to retain and learn my choreography. I also felt this allowed me to explore more direct concepts about myself and allowed me to shape the chapters about my own life.

• I feel accomplished looking back on this project. I answered my research question and stretched my capacity as a choreographer.

Cons:

• While on site filming, Teagan and I were often interrupted as it was a public space. I had to adjust what I conceptualized for each of the shots depending on how busy the site was. It was hard letting go of some of my ideas, but I still enjoyed the final product.

• My audio quality across all of the shots taken on site were varied. It took time to adjust the sound levels evenly. More investigation needs to occur with my camera equipment for the next project.

• As I worked with improv and chance operations, I discovered that I am deeply inspired by music. I found it difficult to move away from music during this process as having music in the background often helped facilitate a productive headspace.

• I often found myself not relaxing into my new choreographic process and fretting about the ability to produce work quickly. I feel that this inhibited me for a long portion of this process, but I was eventually able to learn to trust myself and my work.

• My dancing body did not appreciate the full load of exploring and creating all the movement for this project. Breaking up the movement amongst the chapters and the ability to take my time filming did allow for some flexibility. Next time, I would like to see myself make a stronger effort to allow for more days and times for site exploration and filming.

• I feel that this project could have benefited more with further research into platform/software or devices to use. In testing this project, I found that there were ergonomic aspects that I disliked. I did not enjoy that the size of videos appeared small and there was little control around rotating from portrait to landscape view. Nonetheless, I strived to give my audience the best experience working with Padlet.

What?

This chapter was a pain and a half.

Why?

Well, I ended up making peace with myself and it. But it was a struggle getting there.

Ok back up, what happened in the beginning?

Ok, so the inspiration for this dance originally came from me wanting to explore what disassociation felt like while moving. For me, disassociation is the state of being when you zone out. You’re sort of existing and staring at the floor or off into the distance thinking about something else or simply not thinking at all. I spent countless days going back into the studio questioning

·       What does this word [disassociation] mean to me?

·       What do I notice in my body?

·       How am I noticing this word’s connection with space?

And, I tried and I tried, and I went back, and I tried some more, and nothing was working. I noticed I wasn’t reaching a state flow, I wasn’t enjoying my time, and I was getting frustrated that I was not able to produce or show any part of this work so far even though I had spent countless days going back to the studio.

Finally, I had had enough. One day I went into the studio and had absolutely no plan of anything to try, anything to do, or anything to accomplish that day. And, I think this was a turning point where I reached such a fantastic state of flow that I produced one of the greatest improvs I have ever caught on camera.

What is this state of flow?

Flow state is when a person, but in this project’s case me, enters into a state of being when there is an equal balance of challenge and skill when engaging with a task (Csikszentmihalyi, 2014). More often than not, it naturally occurs when someone is trying to get better at something, usually by some kind of actionable task. This can range anywhere from learning a sport, to lecturing, to understanding a single improv score. This thrilling improv ended up serving as the main inspiration for this entire chapter because I felt like I encapsulated what I defined disassociation as.

Very cool. Why do you think this state of flow stood out among all the rest of the work that you have done? 

From my notes from that day, I note that because I did not have a plan or an obligation to find a goal or find a result, I was able to find flow quicker and easier.

Let me play for you a little bit of my immediate reactions on a voice note I recorded that same day:

"So, today is Sunday, the May 26th.

And, I think I just made a breakthrough with really putting theory into practice,

which is so nice that I finally got the hang of this in late May.

But, what's so fascinating is I really lived up to what Turner and Glenn and Solomon

say in their book between chapters two and chapter three is, or no, between chapter one and chapter three

is in producing on page 23, they write, "In producing a non-literal dance, one does not start with literal movement and create variations upon it. Rather, the entire dance is conceived in a non-literal form" (Turner, 1971).

And then on the next page on page 25, they say,

"Content is limited then by the individual choreographer's ability to deal with more intangible subjects" (Turner, 1971).

And I just felt, I told myself, okay, to warm up, I'm just going to enter flow.

And, I'm just going to feel flow for what it is and enjoy myself as a dancer, plus I was fucking hot.

And, what was interesting is I found myself unnaturally letting my body convey what it wanted to.

And today, I was really playing with suspension and alignment against gravity.

And my arm, my right arm was the only thing that was carrying the momentum through the space.

And, it was then causing a ripple effect through my body.

And, I felt something new that finally dance was not coming from my core.

And that dance, in fact, was coming from my arm.

And, I really feel like I'm putting the non-literalness in practice."

So, what I learned from this day was that a breakthrough in my new choreographic process resulted from me not having a plan and going with whatever whim arose in that moment, and that whim was to explore disassociation. I also became aware of how I could initiate dance from another area of the body, which differs from my musical theatre training. Musical theatre dance often placed emphasis on movement originating in the core then growing outward or distally. I think this realization steps away from my previous musical theater choreographic process because that process entailed a lot of thinking through the movement, planning the movement, deciding ahead of time what movement warranted more rehearsal time to explore, and anticipating how to navigate trouble spots. Whereas, this process was, “All right, let’s forget everything I know and just start moving and to see where that gets me”. 

Interesting. You mentioned that you started with the word disassociation and explored from there, but were there any other influences that led to this magical improv?

Yes, this chapter had a lot of help from Tufnell & Crickmay. My outlook on my new choreographic practice shifted when I read, “We improvise the moment we cease to know what is going to happen. Setting the mind loose from the ongingness of everyday life to find what lies at the edge, behind our thinking, seeing” (Tufnell & Crickmay, 1990, p.46). I realized that in order to find the edges of what my body and brain know about dance, I have to be in a mental state where I am unconcerned with an objective or the effort of trying. I connect this with flow state in that, the novelty of discovery during improv won’t happen for me if I try to use the objective musical theatre centered thinking processes with nonliteral dance (Csikszentmihalyi, 2014). I believe that knowing this helped contribute to my awesome improv for this chapter.

Hmmm… I’m still curious about one thing

What’s that?

How did you navigate getting around being dizzy?

Sheer determination.

*chuckles

Yeah, that was a fun little hump to get over. So, throughout this chapter, I would get so unbelievably dizzy it was to the point where I would get motion sick.

Oh no.

Yeah, it wasn’t fun some days, but I took it as a sign that I was exploring something new and that there would eventually be a way that I could get around this. I think what caused a lot of my motion sickness while dancing was that I was playing with spinal alignment and distribution of how the weight is carried in the body as it moves through the space. I have the imagery of an orb sitting on one side of my neck and that was how I reinterpreted alignment, but this meant that my ears were often tilted so that one ear was towards the ground and the other one was towards the sky, which threw off my ears being able to sense where I am in space.

How did you get around this?

I didn’t get around this very easily. For the longest time, I was very determined on recreating the improv movement by movement, moment by moment. And, each time I go back into the studio, I would learn a little bit more movement and try it again. Learn a little more movement try again. And, no matter what I tried, I kept getting dizzy even though every time I watched the video it didn’t appear that I was getting dizzy at all. And, I don’t remember or make note of getting dizzy on that day. I couldn’t figure out for the longest time why it wasn’t working. Then eventually, I realized why I couldn’t recreate it. I wasn’t recreating the conditions in which that improv occurred. Sure, I had the movements down no problem, but the reason the mystical improv worked in the first place was because I was in a flow state and was engaged with what I was doing. That engagement was enough to deter my motion sickness. So then, I figured out, “Oh! I need to figure out how to find that flow state again with the word disassociation to continue my exploration for this chapter.” Once I started playing around with that, all of a sudden, the chapter fell together, and I was able to get the clips that you see in the video now.

In this chapter, I explore the concept of ephemerality through an improv score introduced to me during my undergrad. Now, I am defining ephemerality as something that lasts for a very short time (Merriam-Webester, 2024). This reminded me of an improv score I learned from Anya Cloud from the University of Colorado Boulder that I really wanted to revisit (Cloud, 2020). Ms. Cloud adapted one of Merce Cunningham’s fundamental ideas the concept of indeterminacy into this improv score (Cunningham & Lesschaeve, 1999, p.39). The score is simple in theory - move only when you feel the intention to do so and remain still otherwise. However, in practice, it is kind of tricky. Having practiced this score for an entire semester with Ms. Cloud, my body was already familiar with the score’s demands. But this time, I wanted to see what would happen if I rehearsed the score including the desire to dance for the sheer joy of it. Continuing off of my re-framing I discussed in the Disassociation chapter, I wanted to let go more and find ways to enjoy the process. This approach aligns with the advice from Tufnell and Crickmay to "Enter the space each day not knowing what you will find there" and to do whatever is necessary to find comfort and flow (1990, p.52). I also feel that this coincides with what Preston-Dunlop comments on about dancing from a phenomenological perspective. “Experiences have to be sought by actively searching for the sensation, by attending to the stimulation offered” (Preston-Dulop, 1998, p. 41). By prioritizing joy and flow, I knew I would appreciate whatever work I produced (Csikszentmihalyi, 2014). As I continued to engage with the score, I realized that by embracing the flow and allowing the dance to emerge naturally, joy would subsequently follow. Besides, this video is not intended to be a polished performance; rather, it is a raw and imperfect reflection of my experience with the score where each pause is me remaining still while I wait for the next intention to arise. By letting the dance surface on its own terms, I could finally experience an uninhibited freedom and embrace the unknown.

This Padlet is designed to allow you to interact with as much or as little content as you would like. The main work is a video at the top of each section. Next, audio commentary follows were I discuss what happened with each chapter. Then, any additional notes or documentation that I feel help support the understanding of the chapter follows. If you wish to engage more with each chapter's content, "Documentation" sections can be found towards the bottom of the Padlet. For instance, more information on Longing for Connection can be found under "Documentation Longing for Connection"

Photo Credit: Myself

Reference: Turner, M. J. (1971). New dance: Approaches to nonliteral choreography. University of Pittsburgh Press.

Captions: My mother "...had embroideries that would hang on the wall like wall tapestries. But what I loved about it was that it was tactile. [mhmm] And she would trace the outline of the bears, and the moose, and the Ponderosa pines, and the rocky mountains, and the mountain goats - 'cause we have mountain goats with the classic white mountain goats with the [yeah] big horns. And mom is: the patchwork quilts that she would make and she would make them different colors. But they were all brought from sections of fabrics of clothes that she would make for herself, Dad, and me. [Aww..] So, our clothes were in the fabric of the quilt and it represented the years of - well my childhood basically"

Notes:

• The Green Man statue out of wood was a fun object to interact with.

• There are the tips of branches that I can grace with my fingers if I jump. They are also fun.

• Continued practice with the score is fruitful.

• I need to use my phone to check the centering of shots before diving into the score/practice.

I would like to give a special thank you to Evelyn and Jane for your academic support and guidance on this journey. I would like to thank Leah and Olivia for peer support and encouragement. I would like to thank my parents for their support not only on this journey, but life's journey. And, I would like to thank Teagan for her lovely video and audio work bringing this project to life!

Love Mom

Summer 2024"