Support.LGBTQ.youth by Melissa Stull

Introduction to page

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 17:56:17 UTC

Parents,

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

This page was created to be a place parents can come to learn more about their LGBTQ+ child in a safe place.

Whether your child has recently come out or has been out for some time, this page is for you!

Having your child come out can feel new, and even scary. We are here to tell you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

This page is designed to inform you on:

Ways your child may be experiencing victimization from others

- How impactful your involvement is

- Ways to be supportive

- and to hear from others like you.

Post 2

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:15:03 UTC

Lets start off with some terminology:

Lesbian - women who are primarily attracted romantically, erotically, and/or emotionally to other women

Gay- experiencing attraction solely (or primarily) to some members of the same gender

Bi-sexual - a person who experiences attraction to some people of their gender and another gender

Transgender - a gender description for someone who has transitioned (or is transitioning) from living as one gender to another

Queer - an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight and/or Cisgender

Questioning - an individual who or time when someone is unsure about or exploring their own sexual orientation or gender identity

Post 3

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:17:35 UTC

Parents,
It may feel hard and scary to come to terms with your child
identifying in a way you were not planning. That scary feeling is okay.
This post is here to let you know, your acceptance of your
child's gender expression and identity is important.

Why?

Research shows children who do not have the support from
their family after coming out, have a high rate of mental health struggles.
These struggles look different for each child, and it is important to accept these as your child's daily reality.

Post 4

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:24:18 UTC

Much of the vocabulary around gender identity may feel new and overwhelming, as there are so many terms to remember. There are resources online that will be posted at the end of this slide.
Making an effort to learn pronouns and use them correctly shows your child you care about who they are and shows them you are taking the time to invest in this part of them. Correct pronoun usage can be just as important and correct name usage, and helps the child feel comfortable and safe in their identity, which around family, is especially important.
If you are unsure of a pronoun, ask!
To show support, you can also add your pronoun to online things or in introductions.
If you fear making a mistake, practice at home.
If you make a mistake on a pronoun, simply apologize, and move on and try again.

Here are some resources for you to find more definitions and explanations of how to help with LGBTQ+ terminology safety.

● https://www.glaad.org/reference/lgbtq
● https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
●http://www.whatisasexuality.com/files/3114/6933/2042/Glossary.pdf
● https://www.healthline.com/health/lgbtqia-safe-sex-guide ● https://thesafezoneproject.com/resources/vocabulary

Post 5

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:24:49 UTC

This slide is a bit more heavy than some of the previous slides, but is equally as important.
Coming out to family and friends can feel scary, and is a courageous step in acceptance of ones self.
As a parent, it is important to try and put yourself in your child's shoes for a moment. Think about the bravery it took to accept themselves, about the courage it took to tell someone else, and what it would feel like if you were not accepted in whole.
Being in their shoes - How does it feel for you to accept every part of yourself? When something is discovered, how does it feel to share that with others? What if you told one of the most important people in your life about who you truly are, and they rejected you?

Post 6

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:25:21 UTC

Parental support does make a difference.
As stated in our last post, your children would love to have your support. In fact, research has not only been done on the impact of rejection, but of the impact on acceptance.

Your support as a parent means a lot to your child. Being a safe place for them on this journey of learning who they are is important to them.
Children who have their parents backing them up, have less risk of facing some of the mental health challenges listed prior, such as depression, suicidal thoughts, and substance abuse. Parental acceptance is just one step, but being able to express yourself and being accepted at home, is very important. Home should be the place for your child to feel safe, welcomed, and secure in anything they are going through.
This acceptance, can make a world of difference.

Post 7

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:25:40 UTC

Research has been done on youth of different ages, ethnicities, backgrounds, gender expressions and identities, ect.; and research has shows that youth who do not have parental acceptance and support face a higher rate of mental health challenges than those peers who are heterosexual.

Post 8

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:26:00 UTC

Discrimination and victimization have become common for LGBTQ+ individuals and comes in various forms. Here we will focus in rejection.
A study was conducted asking LGBTQ+ youth if they have every experienced discrimination or prejudice about their gender identity or expression. All those who participated expressed a resounding "yes".
This is a common answer for our children. This rejection and discrimination leads to feeling unwanted, unsafe, depression, anxiety, etc.
The next post will describe a few of the common ways in which rejection occurs.

Post 9

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:26:18 UTC

Listed above are a few of the common ways in which parents have shows rejection behaviors to their LGBTQ+ child.
These are important to know and understand in an attempt to prevent these actions.
These examples of rejection are also linked to the mental health challenges.

Post 10

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:27:02 UTC

According to the Minority stress theory, LGBTQ+ individuals experience more stressors in the form of bias than those youth who are heterosexual. These subtle remarks and rejective behaviors build up overtime, leading to mental health disparities.

Post 11

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:27:20 UTC

Microaggressions are a common form of discriminations that LGBTQ+ face, sometimes on a daily basis.
Microaggressions can look like subtle remarks, jokes, or hurtful expressions towards the LGBTQ+ community. These remarks and jokes are not taken lightly, and the sting of such comments build up overtime.

There are 2 forms of microaggression we will address here:
interpersonal and environmental.
Interpersonal microaggressions are personal social aggressions and remarks towards the specific individual, whereas environmental microaggressions include others.

Post 12

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:27:36 UTC

Listed here are common forms of both interpersonal and environmental microaggressions. I add these here to bring awareness. There may be some who are not aware the comments being made are hurtful. As awareness is made, change can happen.

Post 13

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:27:50 UTC

Now that microaggressions have been discussed, what can you do to help?
Micro-interventions are a great way to intervene when microaggressive behaviors and comments come up in conversation you find yourself in.

Here is a small list of the 'disarming microaggressions strategies tree' steps you can follow when you find yourself in these situations (The full list will be provided at the end of this padlet forum):
1. Make the "invisible" visible.
- Ask for clarification, challenge the stereotype
2. Disarm the microaggressions.
- interrupt and redirect, express disagreement
3. Educate the offender.
- differentiate between impact and intent
4. Seek external intervention.
- Attend support groups, seek community

https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000296

Post 14

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:28:10 UTC

Discrimination and victimization within the family unit have become common for LGBTQ+ individuals to encounter and may come in various forms, resulting in higher-than-average childhood abuse experiences. The experiences result in anxiety, depression, substance abuse, higher sexual risk, suicidal thoughts, and sometimes homelessness.
Research shows judgment towards one identity and expression can contribute to a negative impact on LGBTQ+ adolescent mental health and may prevent LGBTQ+ individuals from seeking both health and mental health care.
Studies have been done which indicate those who participated expressing that they had received some form of discrimination or prejudice about their sexuality at some point, showcasing how common prejudice behavior occurs for LGBTQ+ individuals.

For more information, feel free to read:
A study on Microaggressions:
https://doi.org/10.1080/09540261.2022.2051446

A study on micro-interventions: https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000296

Post 15

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:28:39 UTC

Support creates safety.
Parents, we are back to a very important comment - Your support truly matters.
Creating a safe environment where your child can learn about themselves, grow, foster relationships, and be advocated for all contribute to better mental health outcomes.
As a parent, we want our children to be healthy. We want to see them successful and happy. Supporting them on their gender journey is a very important and impactful way of helping this happen.
The next post describes a few ways you can bring support t your child.

Post 16

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:29:05 UTC

Here is a list of a few ways to help support your LGBTQ+ child. These along with micro-interventions, can really impact your child's mental health in a positive way.
As stated before, this may seem new, maybe even overwhelming, but the important part here is trying and working towards full acceptance.
You are not alone in this!

Post 17

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:29:26 UTC

Here is a reminder:
Your child wants you to be involved.

Post 18

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:29:40 UTC

Now that you have read about why this acceptance and support is important, how can you as the parent have support?
This is a very important step in this process, and is just as important!

If you are wanting support in how to support your child, I recommend finding support groups either in your area, or online. Many parents are in the exact same place you are, and many have been there and are now offering help to those walking through this journey. Therapist are also trained in helping with this journey.

Research has been conducted on a particular therapy approach that may be beneficial for many families. The name of this approach is called "Attachment Based Family Therapy"
This therapy technique helps bridge any gaps between you and your child and helps work with both you and your child together and separately to create success in your child's expression.

Post 19

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:29:53 UTC

Parents,
You are not alone on this journey, and it may take time. And that is okay!
You reading through these pockets of information is a successful step in creating a healthy outcome for supporting your child!

Thank you for taking the time to read through why acceptance is important, for learning about discrimination and microaggressions, and for learning what acceptance can look like.
This is a brave step!
Our next slide is some information from parents who have been where you are, and have worked towards acceptance and found a positive outcome for them and their LGBTQ+ child.

Post 20

mstull1 — 2022-11-22 19:30:07 UTC

Although these comments are specific to Trans youth, the same can be applied to all parents with children in the LGBTQ+ umbrella.

A study was done asking parents to reflect on what they experienced while raising and supporting their trans child’s transition and were given five themes to reflect upon:
Loss of control or security, feeling support was their only option, evaluating affirmation, the risks of transitioning and rejection, and lastly advice for other families to support their child.

From the reflection on these questions, the parents here felt their only option was to support their child’s transition and how relinquishing control helped them become open to loving and supporting their child.
Parents also described they feel it is better to accept and support their child through transitioning and explained the dangers in denying this change.
Supportive parents make a large impact on the mental health of their child, but as seen here, it also creates a change for the parents’ mental health as well. Choosing acceptance creates a positive mental health status for parents and LGBTQ+ children alike.

https://doi.org/10.1080/19361653.2022.2034079

mstull1 — 2022-11-29 17:38:54 UTC

Having research to back up this information is important, so I have listed the references for all of this information below. There are many article's provided. It will provide the author, the dates, the name of the journals and articles this information was taken from, and a link to the study (doi).
Please do your own research and take time to learn, not only for yourself, but for your child. You have support from others.
Thank you!

Bridge, L., Smith, P., & Rimes, K. A. (2022). Self-esteem in sexual minority young adults: A qualitative interview study exploring protective factors and helpful coping responses. International Review of Psychiatry, 34(3-4), 257-265. https://doi.org/10.1080/09540261.2022.2051446

Diamond, G. M., Boruchovitz-Zamir R., Nir-Gotlieb O., Gat I., Bar-Kalifa E., Fitoussi P.-Y., & Katz S. (2022). Attachment-based family therapy for sexual and gender minority young adults and their nonaccepting parents. Family Process, 61, 530–548. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12770

Hedegaard, H., Curtin, S. C., & Warner, M. (November, 2018). Suicide mortality in the United States, 1999–2017. In National Center for Health Statistics Data Brief (Vol. 330). Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc. gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db330-h.pdf

Gmelin, J. H., De Vries, Y. A., Baams, L., Aguilar-Gaxiola, S., Alonso, J., Borges, G., Bunting, B., Cardoso, G., Florescu, S., Gureje, O., Karam, E. G., Kawakami, N., Lee, S., Mneimneh, Z., Navarro-Mateu, F., Posada-Villa, J., Rapsey, C., Slade, T., Stagnaro, J. C., . . . Wojtyniak, B. (2022). Increased risks for mental disorders among lgb individuals: Cross-national evidence from the world mental health surveys. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology: The International Journal for Research in Social and Genetic Epidemiology and Mental Health Services, https://doi.org/10.1007/s00127-022-02320-z

Horton, C. (2022). “i never wanted her to feel shame”: Parent reflections on supporting a transgender child. Journal of LGBT Youth, https://doi.org/10.1080/19361653.2022.2034079

Johnson, B., Leibowitz, S., Chavez, A., & Herbert, S. E. (2019). Risk versus resiliency: Addressing depression in lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 28(3), 509-521. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chc.2019.02.016

Kann, L., McManus, T., Harris, W. A., Shanklin, S. L., Flint, K. H., Queen, B., Lowry, R., Chyen, D., Whittle, L., Thornton, J., Lim, C., Bradford, D., Yamakawa, Y., Leon, M., Brener, N., & Ethier, K. A. (2018). Youth risk behavior surveillance — United States, 2017. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. Surveillance Summaries, 67(8), 1–114. http://dx.doi.org/10.15585/mmwr.ss6708a1

Livia Bridge, Patrick Smith & Katharine A. Rimes (2022) Self-esteem in sexual minority young adults: a qualitative interview study exploring protective factors and helpful coping responses, International Review of Psychiatry, 34:3-4, 257-265, DOI: 10.1080/09540261.2022.2051446

Madireddy, S., & Madireddy, S. (2022). Supportive model for the improvement of mental health and prevention of suicide among LGBTQ+ youth. International Journal of Adolescence and Youth, 27(1), 85-101. https://doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2022.2025872

Newcomb, M. E., LaSala, M. C., Bouris, A., Mustanski, B., Prado, G., Schrager, S. M., & Huebner, D. M. (2019). The influence of families on LGBTQ youth health: A call to action for innovation in research and intervention development. LGBT Health, 6(4), 139-145. https://doi.org/10.1089/lgbt.2018.0157

Ryan, C., Toomey, R. B., Diaz, R. M., & Russell, S. T. (2020). Parent-initiated sexual orientation change efforts with LGBT adolescents: Implications for young adult mental health and adjustment. Journal of Homosexuality, 67(2), 159-173. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2018.1538407

Sue, D. W., Alsaidi, S., Awad, M. N., Glaeser, E., Calle, C. Z., & Mendez, N. (2019). Disarming racial microaggressions: Microintervention strategies for targets, White allies, and bystanders. American Psychologist, 74(1), 128-142. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000296