8-1 Author's Craft Revision Examples by Anne Marie Chow https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um Share your before and after work to inspire your classmates. Feel free to request feedback. en-us 2018-03-25 23:28:47 UTC 2018-03-26 06:52:21 UTC hello@padlet.com Julian https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956272 In conclusion, the Republic is a nation run by power-hungry dictators that are willing to sacrifice anything to stay in power from their citizens awareness of the outside world and their basic right to free speech. Marie Lu’s inclusion of the Jumbotron highlights this and lets the reader think about the consequences of propaganda and how it is viewed from different perspectives.]]> 2018-03-26 06:49:31 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956272 Jett vongx535961 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956274 The book Scythe by Neal Shusterman takes place in a utopian future where mankind has overcome everything. Crime, poverty, disease, even death have all been conquered thanks to the Thunderhead. The Thunderhead is an artificial intelligence capable of making calculated decisions to help sustain mankind. But, with the absence of death and with children still being born, the Thunderhead has put in place a system to help take care of the growing population, the Scythedom. If anyone dies, they will be brought to a revival center and be brought back to life. Only Scythes can deal permanent death by gleaning people, killing them, but can also grant people immunity by letting them kiss the ring to warn other scythes that the person should not be gleaned. In the “Scythe’, Neal Shusterman uses the scythes rings to symbolise power.]]> 2018-03-26 06:49:32 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956274 Ririko: yaman82603 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956281 At first glance, you can tell that people around August would say heartless things to him, such as "What's the deal with your face? I mean, were you in a fire or something?" or, “You look like a monster, do you have any friends?” That is to say that the character still hasn't grown yet. However, Julian was the only one who said this out loud. The author, for the other characters would use first person narrative to show what the characters thinking. Such as “What’s the deal of his face” “What’s wrong with his face”. They did not say it out loud but they’re basically saying the same thing.

]]> 2018-03-26 06:49:34 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956281 Khushi Struggling with accepting yourself and others as who you or they are is a challenge everyone faces in modern society. ‘Paper Towns’ by John Green is a book full of complex relationships, as characters face new insecurities and feelings. Quentin Jacobsen is in his last year of high school and has been obsessed with his neighbour Margo Spiegelman since they were young. However, many things have changed between them since. One night, Margo takes Q on a crazy adventure and then disappears off the face of the Earth. In Paper Towns, John Green uses metaphor in conjunction with symbolism to show the inner struggle of being yourself amidst an extremely judgemental society. He represents ideas which he subtly reinforces with recurring symbols. - Khushi raju392631 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956304 2018-03-26 06:49:39 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956304 Aman vishw329191 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956308 Quentin is moving from staring at Margo while walking past her in the corridor to committing crimes with her in the middle of the night. He has always admired her for her witness and her looks but never in a million years did he imagine to be in the same car as her by himself in the middle of the night it was a dream come true. “The think about Margo is all I could ever do is let her talk” said Quentin, this shows that Quenting is almost scared to talk to her so even when they were oranking the people she wanted to prank he would only talk to her when necessary otherwise he would be listening to her. Which is another point when you look at what he said about only being able to listen to her, But when you look at what Margo is doing from her perspective she is trying to get someone to do her bidding by charming them into helping her. “I have 11 things to do and at least 5 require a getaway driver” this again brings out the fact that margo just wants someone to help her commit the crimes and she knows that Quentin will do it because she figured out he fancies her.


]]> 2018-03-26 06:49:40 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956308 Seoyeon https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956314 It’s like I live in a cage with no door and no key. In Out of my mind, the main character Melody experiences various struggles as a disabled person, due to a condition she has called cerebral palsy. For her it means that her body is very stiff, and she has difficulty controlling it. In addition, she has a pet goldfish named Ollie, which lived its entire life inside a fishbowl, which Melody feels that she can relate to. When Ollie suddenly jumps out of the fishbowl one day, Melody assumes that it was because Ollie couldn’t stand the fact that it couldn’t speak up for itself therefore decided to explore the world by jumping out. In today’s world, there are many disabled people who are in the same situation as Melody, and feel confined just as she does. Thus, it is important for readers to understand the difficulties disabilities bring, to empathize with them and to help them overcome it and integrate into the society. In Out of my mind, Sharon M. Draper uses symbolism to show the confinement of Melody’s mind, show Melody’s motivation to overcome the challenges, and gets the reader predicting of what Melody will do next after she sees her goldfish die.

]]> 2018-03-26 06:49:43 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956314 Tarush https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956343 The author of the fictional book “Stargirl” Jerry Spinelli, expresses the ideology of how the students in Mica High School are related to the setting being a dull isolated desert. The author uses literary devices and inner thinking to show the relation of the emptiness of the desert and the ignorance of the people at Mica High School.

]]> 2018-03-26 06:49:50 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956343 hawil15737 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956350 2018-03-26 06:49:53 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956350 Thammie https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956364 He used a very detailed description of the hollow to help paint a picture in your mind of a monster that “seemed to have been transplanted directly from the nightmares of your childhood.” Not only does it set the scary mood for the reader, but it also sets a suspenseful mood, as if trying to hint that everything is gonna change from this moment on and nothing is going to be normal for Jacob anymore.]]> 2018-03-26 06:49:59 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956364 Jonathan hough150021 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956373 In “The Hunger Games” Suzanne uses Descriptive language, Symbolism and Flashbacks to show Katniss’s love for her little sister Prim. Many times throughout the story we can see this many times whether it would be just Katniss talking about how sweet and innocent little Prim is or if it would be a flashback talking about when Prim was being cared for by Katniss with such care and generosity or if it was telling a story about how she loved her and got her gifts. Katniss has shown her love and affection for Prim in many different ways throughout the story.]]> 2018-03-26 06:50:03 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956373 Kamal idris812501 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956446 (not fully finished)Auggie mentions that Daisy would love him no matter what he looked like and she doesn’t see him as other people. This shows just what love can be and that it does not depend on looks. Auggie says that he likes Daisy because she “doesn’t know what I look like and loves me.” From this, the reader can infer that Auggie loves Daisy because she feels the same to him.

]]> 2018-03-26 06:50:24 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956446 Yuvan anand484511 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956459 Throughout the book, Day is always being developed, but only his view of the Republic stays the same. We can see that whenever Day thinks of the plague, he thinks of the Republic, and this is for a few reasons. Firstly, Marie Lu built Day so that both the Republic took everything from him, but when Day thinks of the loss of his parents and brother, he thinks of the plague. Secondly, when Day grew up, because he was one of the poor sector kids, he was always treated badly, and resented the people from the rich sector. ]]> 2018-03-26 06:50:27 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956459 Valerios https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956464 I believe this is a very good example from the mentor text:

In the "The Lottery" the author develops theme by using dialogue that shows townspeople's attitudes towards lottery

]]> 2018-03-26 06:50:29 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956464 Riachny samna865621 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956476 People are usually have the desire for something differently. And that they can do a certain things just to get what they want. In “Legend” by Marie Lu, people were all motivated by something differently. Going through hard time and have to facing the betrayal or commit the crime itself, is what make the characters become even more motivating. In “Legend”, Marie Lu uses the symbolism to show each important character motivation in the story. 

]]> 2018-03-26 06:50:30 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956476 Milla ramne19022 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956493 Suzannes way of using flashbacks helps the reader understand the struggles Katniss had to deal with but also what she would do to make her sister happy. From the very beginning Katniss tells a short story of when her sister got her cat. Katniss had tried to drown the cat at first, “Last thing I needed was another mouth to feed” Katniss says. From this, the reader was able to understand that they were poor without her ever saying it. Telling the reader about their living situation using a story gives the characters emotional value more power and makes it more personal. She had also explained how they were forced to keep the cat anyways, “But Prim had begged so hard, cried even. I had to let him stay.” Here, Suzanne shows through a flashback that Katniss is willing to make sacrifices in order for her sister to be happy and it will be very useful information to know as the story goes on. The moment and the cat itself is completely useless to the rest of the story, but what we are able to read inbetween the lines and the information we gather from it will help the reader understand Katniss’s struggles but how the love for her sister powers through it. 

]]> 2018-03-26 06:50:34 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956493 Sara https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956496   Ollie’s life felt like a reflection of her own life. “Ollie spent all day long swimming around that small bowl, ducking through the fake log, and then swimming around again.” From this, the reader can see how repetitive and simple Ollie’s life was. He kept swimming all day without stopping. This is how Melody acted in school she just kept going without knowing what she wanted. She was too scared to step out from her comfort zone and she did what people told her she was capable to do.

]]> 2018-03-26 06:50:35 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956496 Holly Grandpa Bob was also one of the first ones to know that Lily was a transgender and supported her all the way through. ‘I remember twirling in Sarah’s old dress and Grandpa saying ‘You’re beautiful sweetheart, you’re perfect.’ I think this was why Lily felt so protected around Grandpa Bob because she felt like she could truly be herself around him and when he passed away, she hung onto Bob the Tree because it reminded her of how loved and protected she felt when she was young https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956505 2018-03-26 06:50:36 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956505 Sumin SuminHong https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956561 In the beginning, the ukulele shows her traits as she joined a new high school.
Everyone would think she is weird as she had a strange name, clothes and ukulele. 
(Page5)
Suddenly Kevin’s eyes boggled. The girl was picking up her ukulele. And now she was strumming it. And now she was singing! Strumming away, bobbing her head and shoulder, singing, “I am looking over a four-leaf clover that I overlooked before.”
This shows that Stargirl was different from others and she was true to herself. As she always brings a ukulele to school, she sings happy birthday songs or sings other songs. Personally, it has been thought that ukulele had shown her personality. In real life, no one would bring a ukulele to school and sing a song.

]]> 2018-03-26 06:50:53 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956561 Justin hawil15737 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956660 people feel empathy towards it because we take things for granted some people don't take care of things and when they aren't able to use it anymore they throw it away and buys a new one while isabel regretted that the brass was just a bit tarnished.

she regretted that brass was just A BIT tarnished this shows that she really liked it and that the struggle is that she is losing something that she loves she has to sell it because she ‘has no money’]]> 2018-03-26 06:51:31 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956660 Theo chard53337_1 https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956740 As Dunkin was getting pushed by Vasquez to hang out with them, Dunkin saw what was happening to Tim as he was getting fun of by Vasquez and the others. Dunkin slowly started to understand that it wasn’t the best idea to hang out with Vasquez as he is a bad influence and is turning Dunkin around from the nice a innocent person to the mean person ignoring Tim. The meaner Vasquez was to Tim in front of Dunkin, the more he realised that he shouldn’t be hanging out with Vasquez. He also didn’t want to hang out with him anymore as he just couldn’t hold the secret of him not being able to play basketball any longer.

]]> 2018-03-26 06:51:59 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956740 Josh https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956785 Just think about how little information you would be given on the characters if there were no pictures. You would only know their peculiarity as well as their name. This evidence proves that the pictures were crucial for the storyline as without them you would not understand the book.


]]> 2018-03-26 06:52:09 UTC https://padlet.com/anc3_3/pvssvk0bx3um/wish/245956785