• Emphasise co-regulation and relational safety as the foundation for development.

• Frame executive functioning as context-dependent — not a fixed trait but something that emerges in supportive environments.

• Honour children’s autonomy and agency, even when they resist or avoid demands

Play should be fun! What really motivates your child? This may not actually be toys but may be non-toy items; parts of items, or 'repetitive' behaviours. Whatever the motivator, it will be key to success in trying to play with your child and developing their play"

The term selective mutism can suggest that the child is choosing not to speak, which may lead to misunderstandings or assumptions about defiance or control.

In reality, the inability to speak is often driven by anxiety, sensory overload, or emotional distress, not conscious decision-making.

Situational mutism better captures the idea that a child may be able to speak in some environments (e.g. at home) but not in others (e.g. school or public settings).

It shifts the focus from the child’s behaviour to the conditions that affect their communication.

• The term situational mutism aligns with approaches that:

  • Honour the child’s experience.

  • Avoid framing differences as deficits.

  • Encourage relational and environmental support rather than behavioural correction.

• Using “situational” helps practitioners and families ask:

  • What is it about this situation that makes speaking difficult?

  • How can we reduce anxiety and increase safety?

• It promotes co-regulation, predictability, and trust-building rather than pressure to speak.

it is important to know that the developmental milestones we look to including within this infographic are based on a 'typical' developmental model

Trying to push children into social play before they are ready—or interested—can be counterproductive and even harmful. It may:

• Increase anxiety

• Undermine autonomy

• Reinforce the idea that their natural preferences are “wrong”

Instead, we should observe, listen, and respond to how each child chooses to play, and support that authentically.

Rather than measuring children against a fixed developmental benchmark, we ask:

• What does this child value?

• What does this child enjoy?

• What freedoms and supports does this child need to flourish?

Play should be about agency, joy, and expression, not compliance with a developmental model.

'Stages' imply a linear pathway. Children do not move through play stages in a fixed order. They may engage in solitary, parallel, or cooperative play depending on:

• Their mood

• The environment

• Their developmental profile

• Their neurotype

For example, autistic children may prefer parallel play or solitary play, and this is not a deficit—it is a valid and meaningful way to engage with the world.