Refined:

The line graph illustrates the average monthly percentage change in the prices of copper, nickel, and zinc throughout 2014.

Overall, it is perceptible that Nickel prices took the lead in the beginning, however, it witnessed fluctuation during the period of the year and then declined. On the contrary, although the cost of copper and zinc were inferior to Nickel, their prices were subsequently adjusted and surpassed Nickel in the final phase. Notably, all 3 items shared fluctuations in the middle phase.

In detail, Regarding the starting prices of the Nickel and Copper, it is conspicuous that 6% of change in price of the former nearly trippled that of the latter. (Cô gợi ý đổi thành: nickel began with a 6% rise in January, nearly triple the increase seen in copper.) While the Nickel price experienced a dramatic decline to -3% in June, the proportion of Copper witnessed an insignificant fluctuation to around -0.5%. Subsequently, the prices change proportion of both Nickel and Copper increased and remained consistent from July to September, -1% and 1%, respectively. After which, 1% accounted for Nickel and 1.5% for Copper (Cô gợi ý đổi thành: By December, nickel had recovered to 1%, while copper rose to 1.5%.)

As for the proportion of monthly changes in price of Zinc, it began with 1% and grew to 3% in February, after which it dropped to exact -1% in June. Between July and September, it stayed consistent at -1%, before rising to 1% since November.

Band score: 6 to 7

Nên bổ sung thêm các từ nối: "in detail," "however," and "in contrast

Chú ý thêm cách dùng các từ: volatility," "plummeted," "stabilized," and "peaked."

Granted, it is understandable whyhaving fast foods in your daily meal is favorable in terms of convenience and waste of time avoidance. This is because junk foods are often readily prepared for consumers, which minimize the amount of waiting time for whom are busy. For example, a chairman who deals with huge workload, would turn to fast foods in order for remaining times for meetings and figuring out potential solutions for his firm. However, scientific research has shown that excessive consumption of junk foods can lead to obesity and tiredness, posing a threat to productivity and efficiency in work. Furthermore, junk foods would gradually lessen one's longevity, resulting in negative influence in future. Thus, eating fast foods may not be a good choice for busybodies in terms of mental and physical health.

As for consuming traditional food, many believe this would bring about healthy state for everybody. One plausible expalnation for this is in the past, junk foods were considered obscure to our antecedents, so they enjoyed traditional meals, which significantly lengthen their life expectancy and let them free from any diseases. As demonstrated by the case of one 96 years old man who admitted that having traditional meals on a daily basis is wholesome for his health. As a result, having conventional meals is a dependable solution to prevent attacking diseases and stay healthy. Therefore, I absolutely advocate the opinion of having traditional foods everyday.

In conclusion, while having junk foods is a more convenient way and time-saving solution, traditional foods are far more better for encountering and preventing dangerous diseases. In my opinion, I prefer having traditional meals as a way to prevent oncoming disease and lengthen longevity.

To analyze the graph, we need to isolate the graph into 5 parts equal to the month: first one from Jan to March, second one from March to May, the third parts equal to the May to July, fourth part from July to September and the last is from September to December. In part 1, while Nickel and Copper has downward trend, the Zinc has upward trend in February. In part 2, three metals has changing slowly and not excess 2 currency. Looking in part 3 , we can see it dramatically decreasing in June then all three metal has turned up in July. The percentage is unchanging in part 4, it stay steady from July to September. The last one was the most difficult part to analyze because in October, all of  three metal has go down but in the next month it go up again. From November to last year, it not go downward anymore. (GO DOWN = DECLINE)
Looking in the graph, the most unsteady metals Is nickel, from January the highest percentage change is Nickel, it higher than the previous month for 6 currency. Beside it the most go down in June.

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(I haven't finished it yet)

Chú ý cách dùng từ CURRENCY: CÓ THỂ THAY BẰNG PERCENTAGE HOẶC VARIATION

Nên dùng thêm các từ nối: "whereas," "followed by," and "overall"
Phần Looking in the graph - cần chi tiết hơn ===> In the third period

Tin từ đồng nghĩa của INCREASE / DECREASE

Was very big because the nickel at the top at first but later then it going down really quick and fall down to the bottom in 6 months. But after that nickel going up at - 3% to - 1% and at last it going to 1%. About copper had a couple falling in 2014 but at the end of year it just reduce a little bit. Last one is zinc has nothing change much for a year. Change in the prices of three medals during 2014 is all reduce and didn’t go up so much

1. Nên bổ sung thêm số liệu và chi tiết

2. Câu này sửa thành: "The changed in of copper, nickel and zinc in 2014"----> "The changes in the prices of copper, nickel, and zinc in 2014."

3. "Going down really quick" ---> "declined rapidly."

4. "Fall down to the bottom" is informal ---> "reached its lowest point."

5. "nothing change much"- ---> "remained relatively stable.">

6. Ensure subject-verb agreement: "nickel going up" ---- > "nickel went up."

7. Correct tense usage: "had a couple falling" ---> "experienced a few declines."

   
   

Luyện viết nhanh hơn xíu để hoàn thành kịp thời gian nha T

As I told in the beginning of the essays, we are in the industrialism society, everthing from enviroment to human moving fastly. The fastfood is the image show that the way to save time. In my opinion, fast food is not the kind of food that we can named but it is the image reflected the culture of the developed countries, especially the United States. The consumption of fast food that mean the other countries culturals have usage in the other countries. But in some case, the fast food bring people a conveniece, save time. Besdies it lead to a big trouble was lazinism. In the macro scenery, it lead to the polluted of the environment cause the increse of plastic comsumption. Fast foods are fundamentally different to the home-made food. Fast foods is the smaller field than traditional foods. The traditional foods can be including the fast food because fast food could be the cultural food of some countries, especially U.S.

In my point of view, I think that the questions must be clearly to ask. What is both of these food good for? If you want to talk about the exchang international when you use fast food you have tried the another cultural too. That bring us the new experiences, knowledge about the the culture actually. When we living in the developing world, protect the cultural of your country is one of the most important missions, especially in the younger generation. As the speech of the Pre-Leader of Vietnam Communist Party – Nguyen Phu Trong said:” Protect the culture is save the country” (Nguyên văn là: Văn hóa còn thì dân tộc còn). Traditional foods usage not just reflect the image of the contry, in some case can introducing the beautiful imagine of the country. The traditional foods should be suitable for the original people in the country so it may good for them health.

To summary, both of two kinds of foods have a different, various properties, that have the advantage and disadvantages too. To answer which one was better it depends on the people who use the food. More directly way to answer that depends on the situation. In some case, we not only need to open-minded to take the new experience but also introducing your own country foods. Sometime it depend on the demanded of the consumers. If I was chosen, I will chose the traditional foods instead of the fastfood and I will bring it for friends in all over the world to try Vietnamses foods. Studying, exchanging nonstop but not lost own cultures.

1. Task achievement: done (I can solve

2. Coherence & Cohesion: practice uaing linking words naturally and flexibly

3. Lexical resources: Consult other essay and extract necessary vocabs + absorb vocabs usage in each context

4. Grammatical range and accuracy: Have a deeper understanding of complex sentences , concetrate on tenses

1. Respones focuses

2. The meaning is generally complex/strictures are not maked by the same level

3. Use some good effect but within cohesion

4. Examples of more complex/ wider range of vocabulary use but higher

   
   

What would I prepare for this?

• Know the construction of the sentences (Type of sentences). Minimal to omissions or lapse the sentences. Skilfully selected the key features, presented the idea clearly.

• Information and ideas are logical illustrated and gave the clear progression throughout the response. Wide rage of cohesive and flexiblely used.

• Studied, prepared advanced vocabulary and idiomatic items. Used the resources flexibility and precision. Minimal to make mistake in word formation. Mixed the collocations and awareness style in the flexible and available way.

• Used the variety complex structures, type of sentences more accuracy in flexibility ways. Control the grammar and punctuation. Try to minimal mistake in grammar.

1. The content is relevant and accurate

2. Key features which are selected are covered and clearly highlighted

3. It presents a clear overview, the data are approriately, and main trends or differences are identified

   
   

4. The tone is consistent and appropriate to the task

What would I prepare for this ?

• The response covers the requirements of the task

• information and ideas are logically

• There are only few errors in spelling or word formation

• paragraphing to support overall Coherence

• use less common or idiomatic items

• Task achievement: a relevant overview needs to be attempted and the purpose is clear

• Grammar: need to mix simple and complex sentence forms more

• Lexical resource: choose many higher and appropriate words

• use appropriate grammar and vocabulary

• try to complete the overview better

• learn more vocalbulary

• write more cohesive sentences

Use the correct tenses and write as few mistakes as possible

Self-study more

While the driverless vehicles may enhace road safety, people should also be reminded that it can lead to potential job losses in the transportation sector.

One significant advantage of self-driving vehicles is it can lower the amount of traffic accidents caused by human neglectation .

has performed the ability in handling sophisticated air-maneuvering scenarios.

in the opposite, depending too much on technology raises concerns about system vulnerabilities and hacking

However, the downside this is job. It can make losses in driving sector, especially the driver. Furthermore, it has a high cost.

To summarize, although driverless vehicle has many limitations, but it still technological achievements and open for revolutionize transport.

On the one hand, autonomous vehicles will lessen traffic accidents caused by human error. In contrast to human, machines are able to work for long periods of time without rest; therefore, some unwanted accidents happen because of careless driving or tiredness will be decreased. For instance, in Vietnam, the number of people dying from traffic accidents each year is always at an alarming level. Consequently, driverless vehicles will be the most efficient solution for this long-term problem.

In addition, autonomous vehicles have the potential to reduce traffic congestion. Each car is designed to have a separate route so they can avoid several crowded streets and cut down travel time. A friend of mine, for example, whose university is located in the suburds faces traffic jams everyday, then self-driving technology can solve this issue and help her move with ease. Since then, it can be seen that this advantage is the highlight for the development of driverless cars.

On the other hand, it is also important to consider the potential job losses in the transportation sector. When tradditional vehicles are replaced by autonomous ones, the need for employee will decrease which contributes to fierce competition in transportation industry. This competition can have negative effect to that industry and also the society.

In conclusion, the emergence of driver less cars is a turning point in the advancement of technology. Despite the potential for unemployment, the benefits they bring such as safety and reduction of traffic congestion are undeniable. Therefore, it is essential that autonomous vehicles should be given more concern and further developed.

Overall, regarding coffee cohort, it is clearly observed that all countries presented an upward trend in profits, with UK taking the lead. Additionally, similar trend was seen in bananas table, except for Sweden and Denmark, experiencing a minor decrease.

Considering coffee profits, although Switzerland dominated the coffee market at the starting point, around 3 million euros, it was then outranked by UK with 20 million in 2004. Notably, before it surged to 20 million, the UK had secured the third-highest rank. Moreover the revenue from coffee of Belgium saw modest increase to 1.7 million. Conversely, Denmark and Sweden both shared minimal 0.2 million euros increase to 2 and 1, respectively.

In terms of bananas sales, the bananas' output of Switzerland appeared to be by far the most lucrative, soaring from 15 million in 2004 to a whooping 47 million. Similarly, UK and Belgium revenue increased slightly to 5.5 and 4 million euros, each. Apart from these nations, Sweden and Denmark experienced a decline to approximately 1 million in 2004.

On the other hand, those platforms can also cause harmful effects on our well-being and occupation, there are several reasons for this matter.  Firstly, contacting too much with online platforms can lead to sleep deprived, when you spend most of the time looking at the phone screen your eyes will catch the blue light emits from the screen and it will trick you brain into thinking that you are sleepy and make you wake up the whole night. Secondly, messaging apps can make you distracted from work, as your eyes will only pay attention to electrical devices, whenever the message notifications your friend your friends just sent, you hand will automatically click to see the content of the message, in the end you cant concentrate on the main task you are doing.

On the other hand, network-based communication can expand reach even though global reach which allow to communicate in long distance by connecting to the Internet. Additionally, this can be able to greater accessibility in ❌oder ➡ order - that improved international relationships such as enhanced connectivity. That can also increased convenience to consumers for instance consumers are able to send the images, videos or even though the files to counterparts in a long-distance.

is easy to communicate with others, which helps expand our reach and enhance interactions across different

locations.

However, online communication also has significant consequences. Social isolation is a common issue when people depend too much on it instead of face-to- face interaction.Additionally, the loss of privacy is a serious worry as personal information can be easily revealed.Cyberbullying is another harmful effect that causes emotional damage.

On the other hand, virtual spaces is also a good place to improve connectivity. For those who have long-distance friends or relatives, they can effortlessly keep in touch and chat with each other frequently.
A friend of my, for example, who is studying abroad has many problems when living in foreign land, then Facebook is the best place to express her feelings and share some experiences about that. Moreover, by communicating on the internet, users can build relationships with others all around the world. This may contribute to the development of a country through things such as cultural exchange.

When you use social medias to communicate with others in comfortable ways it can be some negative consequences bring about which caused social medias, users of these platforms can be easily lost their private information into cyber crime’s web and it would lead to more serious financial and economic problems, and even worse as in any conversations the conflict could be followed after that then they could be attacked and cyber bullying. Additionally, the constant of use virtual spaces to communicate is one of the main factors of self-harming to resume their own time and energy, they may be exposed to inappropriate contents and addiction in those situations. And the greatest one was bring adverse effects to your wellbeing even to your mental issues, which can wasted time and energy of users and bring them the feelings of isolation.

However, I strongly believe that

However, this view is not entirely correct because there are also negative things. it can be described as addiction when spending too much time on it, especially in children. Cyberbullying is also a negative of communicating through social media which makes the victim is isolated. This causes of many conflicts and creates a toxic social network.

On the other hand, virtual communication brings about some adverse consequences. The first drawback is addiction. As many individuals, especially children are over-relianced on social platforms, they can be easily addicted and ignore their surrounding lives. This can lead them to social isolation and disability of self-growth. Another one is cyberbullying. If people have deficient digital communication skills, they will be in many risks of cyberbullying. As a result, it causes mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, even suicide.