Writer starts the paragraph by stating the objectives in general. After that he describes used methodology and objectives in more detail. 

 

Topic sentence added:

 

“The research comprised of one interview with the coordinator of ICT security office in Kansaneläkelaitos and one maturity assessment survey sent via email to employees in various positions related to Kansaneläkelaitos ICT services. After the interview, the maturity assessment survey was prepared and sent to the survey participants via email. Along with the survey, there was a cover letter explaining the background of the research, ethical considerations and return instructions.”

This problem was tried to be revised many years ago, by creating technologies such as heuristic detection. Heuristic detection means that the code is compared to a previously identified malicious code and it is then classified as a variant.

Tokyo Metropolis sponsors the Tokyo Disaster Medical Response Simulation Drill, but commissions the planning and implementation of the drill to regional hospitals designated as core disaster medicine centers and where regional disaster medical/health coordinators for the medical district work. The coordinators play a central role in planning and implement- ing the drill, in cooperation with hospital staff and Tokyo Metropolitan Government staff who are assigned to the drill. All regional disaster medical/health coordinators are emer- gency physicians who play an active role in the community and have been appointed to serve as coordinators by Tokyo Metropolis. The procedures followed were in accordance with the ethical standards of our institutional committee and with the Helsinki Declaration, as revised in 2004.

This is a good example because the tittle identifies the general statement about the subject of the paragraph. The text it self flows in logical pattern from general statement via premise to specific details.

-        The first sentence identifies why this paragraph is written. After that there is clear steps how you can achive what was written on first sentence.

to sample essays (e.g., Ambe, 2008; Bagheri & Zare, 2009). For instance, Bagheri and Zare (2009) found that

exposing candidates to model essays improves their awareness of writing features such as form, discourse,

relevancy, and lexical resources. Similarly, Ambe (2008) found that Japanese ESL learners improved their

writing skill by comparing their essays with model essays and noticing the gap between their essays and the

model essays in terms of lexis, form, discourse, and content. He also found that the degree of noticing is

contingent upon language learners’ proficiency and task types.

THIS IS A GOOD EXAMPLE because the first sentence provides a general idea of what this paragraph and then it follows by specific content to enrich that statement.

and offline. Marketing practitioners claim that “multichannel

marketing is a perfect storm of synergies” (Beck 2013), and firms

believe that online and offline channels complement each other.

This paragraph goes from general perspective to more specific.

“Technology in retail has become a critically important competitive tool. Consumers

with the help of technology can better locate and acquire products. Slowly but surely

online digital technology is being implemented in stores to engage consumers, as well

as link in-store consumers with at-home consumers (Armstrong, Kotler and Opresnik,

2016). Technology is, in fact, becoming an important constraint in consumer shopping.

It is dividing the retail shopping eco-system on the bases of online and offline approaches.

As internet speed increases, the world is getting much closer and faster to

reach.”

command/reply phases (Klensin, 2008):

-        MAIL

-        RCPT

-        DATA

MAIL is where the return path is established, also known as the return-path, mfrom,

envelope sender or bounce-address (Klensin, 2008).

RCPT is where the recipient of the message is established. This command can used multiple time creating multiple recipients for the same email (Klensin, 2008).

 

personal information is a pre-part of the attack (PhishingBox, 2013).

In clone phishing the attacker clones a previously sent email and changes the URLs

or/and attachments with malicious ones and sends the email again, claiming it as a

resend because the previous email was missing some information (PhishingBox,

2013).

 

According to von Hippel (2007), open and user innovation

assume a variety of forms. The living lab is a new focal point

for multi-organizational collaboration on innovation

(Dutilleul et al., 2010). A living lab brings the scientific

experimentation process into everyday life, or rather

transforms everyday life into an experiment to promote

discovery and change (Lin et al., 2012). Living labs gather

people whose usage of and response to new technologies are

recorded by an elaborate technological infrastructure,

providing data for designers or for investigation by researchers

(Dutilleul et al., 2010). In addition, many users and

stakeholders participate in co-creating, exploring,

experimenting, testing, evaluating and improving innovation

(Kviselius et al., 2009; Lin et al., 2012; Vicini et al., 2012).

Conceived as in vivo experimental settings, living labs are open

innovation networks that enable observation of and

experimentation on a “living” social system (Dutilleul et al.,

2010).

drives the activity in the initiative (cf. Ståhlbröst and

Bergvall-Kåreborn, 2011; Leminen, 2013). Living labs differ

in terms of their activities, network structure and organization,

and the driving actor plays an important role in the

development of innovation. The actor orchestrating the living

lab network has a crucial influence on the value of activities

because the living lab requires responsible coordination and

management (Kviselius et al., 2009). Management of a living

lab necessitates that a certain actor takes responsibility for

starting and promoting the activities. This actor does not have

superior power over the others in the network, as it simply

coordinates the activities. The coordinator should comprehend

the entire living lab entity to create value for its members

(Leminen and Westerlund, 2012). Thus, we draw on 

the categorization established by Leminen et al. (2012a), who

identify utilizer-driven, enabler-driven, provider-driven and

user-driven living labs. Each of these forms are driven and

coordinated by a different type of actor. This categorization is

discussed in greater detail in the following sections.

Cyber range is a controlled electronical computing environment with systems, networks, services, and users generally isolated from the live network. Range is a concept that is familiar to many organizations; however, it associates in many different ways. There is a number of cyber ranges nowadays in the Europe; yet, quite often they tend to be a part of a military or other governmental security organization. Not much is public information and reference material is quite hard to find. 

We explain the complex acceleration algorithm based on Linux OS with Xserver version after 1.5. With this algorithm, when a new mouse event arrives and a mouse event is created for the mouse packet, the system first computes the velocity of mouse movement, and then calculates acceleration based on the derived velocity. Based on the raw movement information in the mouse packet and derived acceleration, the system determines the cursor movement on screen.

 This paragraph is written from general to specific. In the beginning it has controlling idea, that all three experts have pointing out the same finding about the funnel. The information in the first sentence is then expanded with the information from each expert. Also some sentences are nicely linked to each other. In addition connection words have been used. 

A web server could be running on the SDN orchestrated system. The web application threats enlarge the threat landscape significantly. As personal records are the threat trend target, the web server patching creates vulnerabilities which can enable injections, especially Cross-site Scripting, XSS, injection which can enable file and resource extraction 10 (OWASP Top 10, 9). In addition to the server patching, also plugins in browsers and servers (Content Management Servers, CMS, especially) enlarge the attack surface (Content Management Systems Security and Associated Risks 2013).

 

Comment: This is a good example of general-to -specific structure because writer goes logically from narrow attack surface to wider surfaces. Writer also demonstrate how threat landscape enlarges.

In the architecture, there are no security features enabled by default. The packets are transmitted unencrypted in the SDN network. There is a security module available; however, as it is not mandatory or default module in the distro, an administrator may decide not to configure it. The reasons for not configuring the security module could be ignorance, difficulty or plain malicious intent due to grudge or possible financial gain.

Comment: Topic sentence + descried + summary. Good flow.

 

People can smile without being really happy, however, this artificial smile often is interpreted correctly. If you are genuinely smiling with joy, it shows clearly. Some say that a smile makes human eyes smile or shine. This is due precisely to the fact that in a true smile, for example, the eye muscles of the 

micro muscles are working. 

 

Dr. Paul Ekman (Handagy 2011, 149) is a long-time researcher who has studied micro facial expressions for more than 40 years. Although micro facial expressions seem self-evident as such, the mechanism must be known and mastered in order to be able to analyze or present truthful feelings. "

- Writer first starts with common known things about facial expressions and micro expressions (no need to mention reference and the reader probably has this knowledge already). Then the writer starts explaining more deeply about the topic (references need to be mentioned).

presumption accordingly. The aim is to lead the discussion so that the subject wants to actually answer the questions presented to him. (Handagy, Ekman 2014, 30) The technology is very discreet and risk-free to use. In general, the target does not even understand to divest some important information, because he/she wants to be informed. If someone has a too rough questions, the person using the technique can be described as rude or just too interested in other persons’ matters.”'

My beginning: Social engineering is influencing people in good or in bad way to act as desired.  Social engineers can be as well as spies and hackers as salespersons and everyday people. One of the tools of the social engineers is elicitation. 

b)    The paragraph is easy to follow, and the objectives are mentioned.

Topic sentence added / rephrased
The topic and idea for the thesis was developed when Laatukeskus, Ex-cellence Finland was celebrating its 50^th working anniversary in the year 2016, and due to this the company planned to launch a project to renew their brand.

-          From general “salespeople using the internet” 

- to specific “how/why to use internet = training, monitoring the competition, to better meet the needs and deal with the counter-arguments, to improve communication 

b) Comment shortly why you think it is a good example.

I think this is a good example of using a topic sentence to help the reader understand the basic concept of the method they have based their writing on.

I would not add a new topic sentence to the beginning of the paragraph, I would though re-phrase the two first sentences to form a possible topic sentence:

Educational research should be grounded in people’s experience (Coleman and Briggs 2002, 18). However, there is not a right or wrong way in which this research methodology is conducted, rather it is a matter of making the “best choice” (Coleman & Briggs 2002, 264). Cohen et al (2002, 73) suggest that choices pertaining to research methodology to be guided by the notion of “fitness for purpose”. As a result, a phenomenological approach was adopted. Phenomenological research explores the experience of humans as they find themselves in the world (Vagle 2014,20).

 

1b)

The structure of the paragraph follows the rule: from generic to specific. Each individual sentence elaborates and deepens the information given in the former sentence.

 

The given paragraph introduces, as the big theme, the educational research. It then follows to debate about the methodology in a broad sense; transitioning to make a remark on the fitness of any method to be used. The last part introduces the chosen methodology and gives the first hint on what is to follow.

Finland’s higher education system is regarded highly in Europe. For students who are unable to secure an exchange study place in the United Kingdom, Finland is their next preferred choice for seeking higher education. This is despite the sometimes harsh winter weather conditions of Finland. The preference could be attributed to the availability of English courses, the open Finnish international development cooperation, free tuition and its reputation of having an excellent education system. (Majakulma, 2011, pp.45-46, Garam & Korkalla, 2013, p.8). A total of 450 courses are offered in English. (Wächter and Maiworm 2008, p.29, Garam & Korkalla, 2013, pp.8-15). This has made Finland to be regarded as ‘little England’.

The first test is challenging especially for case studies. It is often pointed out that a case study investigator fails to develop a sufficiently operational set of measures and that subjective judgements are used to collect the data. A reader cannot tell whether claimed changes that operational events constitute reflect the events or whether they happen to be based on an investigator’s impressions only. To meet the test to construct validity, an investigator must be sure to cover two steps: first to define the change in terms of specific concepts and second to identify operational measures that match the concept. (Yin 2009, 41-42.). 

Topic sentence: Construct validity is used to determine how well a test measures what it is supposed to measure

a.    Trends overview   

 

That is a fact that Finnish economy has suffered before 2014 due to a shrinking PPP and Export problems to Russia hasn’t helped too, but for sure there are always some companies who put efforts on exporting and those markets won’t go anywhere. This case study confirms the importance of prober market analyses and preparations to put plans to action. 

It is just tougher to reach sales what are expected but with right tools, they are reachable. New PPP figures shows rapid increase, so business climate has changed for now.

 

 

trustworthiness has been deemed essential to collaborative work (Mayer et al., 1995). However, physical distribution, changing team members, cultural differences and lack of prior history (Lipnack and Stamps, 2000) can lead to severe difficulties in establishing
effective trusting relationships. In particular, trust is regarded as an essential ingredient for 

cooperation (Hwang and Burgers, 1997). When engaging in a trusting relationship, parties are more willing to overlook the risk of being taken advantage of and act for collective gain. According to Hwang and Burgers (1997), a trustworthy partner in a relationship will facilitate cooperation by reducing the risk of being exploited and decreasing opportunistic 

behaviours. Empirical research confirms that mutual trust and trustworthiness among participants is one of the prerequisites for collaboration to occur in a team. It has positive 

impact on the effectiveness of virtual teams (Hakonen and Lipponen, 2009) and a significant 

impact on the GVT’s performance (Henttonen and Blomqvist, 2005). However, the level of trust on a GVT’s performance varies based on the conditions within the team. Furthermore, trust development relies on the cultural backgrounds of the members (Yusof and Zakaria, 2012). Dulewicz (2013) describes research culminating in the design of a scale to measure 

trustworthiness which has been used in several studies of individuals (Van Den Assem and 

Dulewicz, 2014, 2015). He advocates the use of different item sets for measuring relationships with different trustees.

1 b)
This paragraph has a general opening “Trust is one of the major challenges virtual teams face”. Then the writers move to more detailed information regarding different aspects of trust in teams.

1b) The paragraph describes value and the elements of it. The sentence opens by describing the concept and is followed by description of what value is and what it is not.

 

 

 

 

In this chapter, the story line is clear and develops logically from the claim that pop ups are an important concept to the reasons why it is so. 

surprising  and uncertain  issues,  may  includes  the  organization  environment,  the  ethical  and 

ecological  challenges,  globalization,  economic  and  political  instabilities,  employers  and 

employees  issues,  the  technological  innovations  ,  in  which  the  modern  business  operates."

Topic sentence: 
There are various other issues that also causes problems in business organizations.

 

This paragraph starts with a good first sentence. It is general and then the following sentences define the aggressive behaviour.'

At the first sentences of paragraph we can see the main statement (general) and following sentences show the specific information and all of them connected with the main first statement and expand it. 

I would be rephrasing the first sentence of the paragraph with - 

The ability to understand the clients and their needs, to provide better service, is more important today than the quality of the product or service itself.

Or 

Add at the beginning of the paragraph – 

An important change in values has occurred. 

in to be a successful leader and it is necessary demand for getting to the

top. To understand organizational life one has to have information of narcissism.

The phases of it come stingingly out in organizations where narcissistic

leaders can find and their subordinates can lose their true selves.

(Kets de Vries. 2007, 44)

Nowadays client organizations are more open to discuss more about difficulties

like narcissism, because the topic is very “pop” at the moment. On

the other hand the younger generation does not accept any kind of leadership

anymore, they don’t commit to one place and they don’t stay if employees

are not treated well. The consciousness of good leadership has risen. Pertti Rasp advices customers related to narcissistic leadership openly unless the characteristics

are related to any particular individuals. (Rasp. 2013)

Barringer (2015, 102) recommends writing the business plan with extreme empathy for the reader because most of the people reading it are extremely busy, so the plan should be clear, concise and easy to follow. Barrow et al. (2012, xv) point out that the business plan must be the best that can be written, and it must be professionally packaged, because venture capital firms receive several thousand business plans a year. According to Barringer (2015, 101) the business plan should be from 25 to 35 pages, that carefully explains every aspect of a new business venture.

The first sentence of the paragraph introduces the main point for a reader. After that, reader will receive detailed information about writing a business plan.

The database that was used for secondary data collection is mainly the finna.fi. Google search engine, which was utilized to acquire less scientific but relevant data for the study. With this method relatively new books were selected from each topic: a business plan, strategy, marketing, launch marketing, experience economy, sustainability in surfing and social theory in surfing. These books offered the main concepts and key theories. Articles that were found relevant to add value to this study were selected. These articles consider internet marketing, direct marketing, a business plan, experience in sport tourism and psychology.

With added sentence:

The secondary data was collected from various sources. The main source was finna.fi. Google search engine, which was utilized to acquire less scientific but relevant data for the study. With this method relatively new books were selected from each topic: a business plan, strategy, marketing, launch marketing, experience economy, sustainability in surfing and social theory in surfing. These books offered the main concepts and key theories. Articles that were found relevant to add value to this study were selected. These articles consider internet marketing, direct marketing, a business plan, experience in sport tourism and psychology.

 

Johnson et al define core competences as skills and abilities by which resources are organized in company’s functions and processes to achieve competitive advantage in a way that competitors can’t imitate or obtain. Resources itself don’t bring competitive advantage to a company but understanding and developing its unique resources and core competence, company can develop and find competitive advantage to distinguish from competitors. (Johnson et al. 2008, 94-97.)

In my mind, introduction has a good general-to-specific structure. Paper contains technical details and needs lot of focus to read, so introduction has done a good work providing overall detail what is to be expected from this paper and has a good structure doing so.