Mason Gabriel Peer Feedback 2022 - 2023 by Mason Gabriel https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-21 14:45:22 UTC 2023-03-21 15:03:41 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Apple.png 29wchen https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2353745137 It was a very exciting story, but the punctuation! You forgot to put a lot of punctuation. Periods are missing. Also, in “my hand down,so started”, You forgot to put a space after the comma. But an intense story!  It was a good story, but next time pay attention to the punctuation.]]> 2022-10-24 14:43:00 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2353745137 It was a very intense story and it was like i could see the whole think happen in my own head. I also liked that you were very descriptive in your memoir and that you can really tell the reader how you were feeling enough to make them visualize your whole memoir. One thing that i think you need to work on is your punctuation because I saw more than 1 mistake for example in the second sentence I saw that you have a space before the . Their was a space. https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2353866502 But everything Els was really good and descriptive.]]> 2022-10-24 15:46:19 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2353866502 When I read your memoir your begging was amazing I like how you added sensory details and relay good description it pulled me in to the story. And I also liked your metaphors I felt like they went really good with the story it flowed with it. The one thing I wished was if you had big word choices to describe it a little more 29mabdullah https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2355698373 2022-10-25 15:44:30 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2355698373 Cj friends 29cfriends https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2357755743 your internal dialogue was really good. Also great job with the figurative language. I feel like you could definitely make it so that the piece is longer.]]> 2022-10-26 17:55:47 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2357755743 Narrative https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2403762583 It is good, but punctuation!!!!!!!! PUNCTUATION!!PUNCTUATION!!PUNCTUATION!!PUNCTUATION!!PUNCTUATION!!PUNCTUATION!!PUNCTUATION!!

Also, put spaces after some commas and periods!!!

Put quotation marks!!!!
—WARREN]]> 2022-11-30 15:43:40 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2403762583 Tommy Valente https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2405470575 i really liked in your pice were it says OMG i thought to myself because it not saying like omg i really like your hair no its like OMG i love your hair its so amazing!i really like your dialogue and how you put it in at the right time and really brought your story to life. However i think you could have improved your ending just a little bit.


]]> 2022-12-01 17:10:13 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2405470575 2 stars and a wish 🤩 29dsmeltzer https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2486543234 I love the amount of evidence you put in, it really helps get the feel for whats actually happening and what could happen. And I also like the go to the heart moments, it just makes me think when it talks about the girl having no friends… but the punctuation isn't that that good, (no offense of coarse) there is multiple times where there is no periods. The whole story is somewhat just a run on sentence on the topic, and should be payed more attention next writing piece. But besides that very influencing piece! Keep up the good work 👍]]> 2023-02-17 16:38:25 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2486543234 Chanman 29achan1 https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2490125974 Hi, Mason!!! A strength I found in your introduction paragraph for “School Sports Should Be Required To Play As A Student” was the amount of describing words you used throughout. I also liked the amount of transition words in really makes the essay flow together. But I did notice a lot of spelling errors like misspelled words, missing words and unneeded words so I think you should fix that.]]> 2023-02-21 18:36:53 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2490125974 https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2491152657 hey mason, i really like how your explanation was very descriptive. In addition to that I also really your hook in your intro because it puts it in a perspective of a lonely student which i think fits it perfectly. However I found that over the essay you were telling not showing  and if you did showing and not telling i think you essay would be better.


]]> 2023-02-22 13:31:03 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2491152657 Dominick Dawidoicz https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2495323618 Mason this was a very good essay. I liked how you used the transitions when you went to other topics I felt you explained yourself very good . ]]> 2023-02-26 15:11:34 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2495323618 29wchen https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2523711071 YOu should fix you paragraph. You paragraph is formatted wrong, and there are some spelling and grammar errors. ALso, Your sentences don’t sound very convincing. You should change your sentences. But one thing I liked about you theme analysis is one of the paragraph was good.]]> 2023-03-20 14:46:42 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2523711071 Chase Gechtman https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2524004327 Hi Mason, A strength of your paragraph was your explanation. I really like how you expanded it and tried to add as many details as you can. Another strength of your paragraph was your hook and your ending. I really like how you show not tell the reader what is happening. For example, you added a great perspective of the main character. However a wish that I was able to find was that there were a lot of spelling and grammar errors. Also, your paragraph is formatted wrong, but otherwise you did an amazing job with your paragraph.


]]> 2023-03-20 17:31:20 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2524004327 Ben Halpern 29bhalpern https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2524031267 Hi Jackson. One strength in your piece The Present was that you found strong evidence that went well with the theme. Another star in your piece was that it was long so you got lots of reasoning and proof. One wish that I had was that I realized that your font was not Times New Roman and that it was not size 12. I also think that you could have been a little more creative with the title. Great job though.]]> 2023-03-20 17:48:43 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2524031267 Chanman 29achan1 https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2524034319 Hi,  Mason! A strength in your essay is that your explanation really catches my attention and is really good. Another strength is your ability to back up your claim with strong pieces of evidence. But the formatting is pretty goofy if I’m gonna be honest.]]> 2023-03-20 17:50:38 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2524034319 Rohan Vijayan 29rvijayan https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2525558949 Hi, Mason! A strength of your theme  analysis is the transitions for example “This shows the theme because,” hooks the reader such as me. In addition I like how length and detailed your explanations were and how they explained to me as a summary everything about your Pixar short.  However a suggestion that I can offer is probably you would most likely deepen your word choice. But keep up the good work!]]> 2023-03-21 15:03:36 UTC https://padlet.com/29mgabriel/ozc8bx5vo9jltyqz/wish/2525558949