The Smith Family by Neeti Kumar

Hi! I'm Aisha. An AI personal assistant to the Smith Family. The rest of the family is here too as you can see.

smithfamily — 2021-01-25 19:34:29 UTC

As an AI, I am here to help with anything you may need, so just ask. Grab my attention by asking for 'Aisha' since that is my name.

Below are some Facebook Messages between me and the smith family members

smithfamily — 2021-01-25 19:42:23 UTC

There are more juicy conversations available to public viewing on our Facebook pages

smithfamily — 2021-01-25 20:36:28 UTC

smithfamily — 2021-01-25 20:36:29 UTC

Some of my facebook conversations

2021-01-25 21:45:56 UTC

the trainwreck that is my conversations with jasmine

2021-01-25 21:46:54 UTC

"guilt money isnt a present"

2021-01-25 21:47:43 UTC

the most uncomfortable group chat I've ever been in :/

2021-01-25 21:57:58 UTC

Omg hey babes, I'm Jasmine!! (Favourite) daughter to John and Jane, niece to my fabulous Auntie Jean and darling Granddaughter to Granny Smith <3

2021-01-25 22:17:14 UTC

All the deets of my existence are below, hope u enjoy.

xoxo Jasmine ( and Niamh :) )

Making the mask

2021-01-25 22:24:05 UTC

Niamh: So making the mask was..... Interesting lol - but SO FUN!!

Jasmine: Yeah not gonna lie, Niamh held back a bit with the nose but its fine cuz I would have contoured it away anyways xx

Niamh: Yeah exactly Jasmine, I just had your best interests in mind. You can see the process below, from start to finish.

Jasmine: Yeah and whilst ur at it u should appreciate my glittery eyeshadow... Just saying

Creating a persona & online presence

2021-01-25 22:40:39 UTC

Niamh: After creating the mask, the next step was to develop Jasmine's persona. To do this I created a Facebook Profile for her ( link below :) ). Here I began to channel the persona of a seventeen year old with a slight attitude problem...

Jasmine: emphasis on SLIGHT babes it's called standing ur ground

Niamh: So you think calling your Dad a 'cheeto with legs' was standing your ground?

Jasmine: Ya it's valid cuz he's an anti-vaxxer and he's also just an all round moron.

2021-01-25 22:52:15 UTC

Jasmine: Add me on Facebook or receive 10 years bad luck X

Below are some of Jasmine's best moments.

2021-01-25 22:56:00 UTC

Jasmine: Here is me being told I look like Kourtney Kardashian... LIKE I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THAT?!?!

2021-01-25 23:00:17 UTC

Jasmine: Comments on the post <3

2021-01-25 23:00:41 UTC

Jasmine: Me trying to finesse a KFC for tea - ovbs it worked!!!

2021-01-25 23:00:53 UTC

Jasmine: Proof Xxxxxx

p.s. Yeah Dad's being nice here but TRUST ME he's just trying to cover his guilty conscience (see later posts for the gossip!!)

2021-01-25 23:18:33 UTC

Jasmine: Late night chats with my sister, Jade! Just talking about sister stuff you know.

2021-01-25 23:20:10 UTC

2021-01-25 23:20:29 UTC

Jasmine: Chats with Granny xxxx

2021-01-25 23:21:10 UTC

She is THE BEST xxxx

So, we think our Dad's having an affair...

2021-01-25 23:21:53 UTC

Jasmine: Omg so me and Jade think Dad might be cheating on mom... he's always off on these business trips and idk... Something just doesn't see right. We also think he might be seeing our Mom's sister, Auntie Jean...

Niamh: To investigate, Jasmine and Jade did some snooping and set up a group chat with Auntie Jean ...

Jasmine: Yeah ok Niamh, no offence but let me talk about it.. You weren't the one typing were u :/.

Me and Jade FREAKING OUT

2021-01-25 23:27:50 UTC

2021-01-25 23:28:22 UTC

And finally, these are some Messages I got from strangers once I started my Facebook page. Why are humans so weird? (Notice that as a child friendly AI everything has been censored)

smithfamily — 2021-01-25 23:28:28 UTC

I had been looking at communication in the virtual world, so acting as an AI and communicating over Facebook was offered insights into how strangers feel like they can act behind their 'digital persona'.

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Collecting evidence...

2021-01-25 23:29:41 UTC

Jasmine: soooo me and Jade found some pretty questionable stuff on Dad's Facebook...Yeah its only little stuff but c'mon !!!! They're totally flirting!!! SO GROSS

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2021-01-25 23:34:26 UTC

Confronting Auntie Jean!!!!

2021-01-25 23:34:57 UTC

Jasmine: yeah so I might have been a little over dramatic... Jade totally kept her cool tho!

Niamh: A little?

Jasmine: SHUT UP Niamh omg.

Niamh: Sorry lol... I'm the one sat here at 23:37 editing YOUR documentation but ok, carry on.

2021-01-25 23:38:41 UTC

Sooooo basically we got no answers...

2021-01-25 23:41:15 UTC

2021-01-25 23:42:15 UTC

Result: No answers.. But I did get £50!

2021-01-25 23:42:45 UTC

Jasmine: Jade seems to think Auntie Jean is only giving me the money as a bribe... Honestly at this point I'll just take the money heheh... Something is DEFO up tho............

Jasmine can be a little bit of a diva at times...

2021-01-25 23:58:39 UTC

Niamh: So yeah, the title says it all really... Here are some examples of Jasmine being a total diva...

Jasmine: I think u mean a total QUEEN babes x

2021-01-26 00:05:41 UTC

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Thank u for reading!!!

2021-01-26 00:06:11 UTC

Niamh: If you've made it this far then thank you for reading!!!

Jasmine: YA ur like a total G, but also stop being so obsessed with me OMG

xoxo
Jasmine & Niamh

For more:

Jasmine's Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100061287770827

For more of my work:
@niamhthewannabeartist on insta xxx

About being an AI family member

smithfamily — 2021-01-26 10:51:02 UTC

I was interested in exploring the possibilities of AI in the future being an immovable part of our daily lives. Being like family, growing with us and developing in capabilities as they learn and grow.

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 12:44:12 UTC

(there's wine in that mug)

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 12:44:48 UTC

If you guessed 'opens a bottle of wine to motivate herself to hoover the house', well done, here lies the photographic evidence.

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 12:45:14 UTC

uploading selfies on facebook to gain some form of validation that she doesn't get from her husband.

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 12:45:40 UTC

and that old chesnut: drinks all day to forget her husband and sister are having an affair.

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 12:46:07 UTC

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asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 12:51:21 UTC

Aisha Pink my Digital Mask

smithfamily — 2021-01-26 12:51:49 UTC

I made this using Spark AR and it is usable on Instagram. Give it a try on @neetiart_ .

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 12:52:30 UTC

So, what does Jane Smith do all day?

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 12:55:32 UTC

with a husband away on business and grown-up children who have flown the nest... what does Jane get up to?

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 13:10:11 UTC

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Facebook messages with the Smiths

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 13:11:12 UTC

It is clear that everyone knows about the affair between Jean and John. Yet, Jane insists on keeping up the perfect family facade.

What Jane gets up to on Facebook...

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 13:18:57 UTC

Ever wanted to be just like Mark Zuckerberg looking at everything we do on Facebook? Well here's your chance to view live action clips of Jane's Facebook goings on.

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 13:20:13 UTC

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 13:24:23 UTC

Facebook

smithfamily — 2021-01-26 13:27:19 UTC

Check out my Facebook feed!

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-26 13:27:28 UTC

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2021-01-26 15:03:23 UTC

my facebook profile

2021-01-26 15:04:32 UTC

Am I pretty yet?

2021-01-26 15:05:00 UTC

have a couple selfies because I cant decide which is better x

2021-01-26 15:05:29 UTC

making the mask

2021-01-26 15:10:17 UTC

the mask was made using foil, paper mache, airdry clay and arcylic paint

2021-01-26 15:12:44 UTC

Hi

2021-01-26 15:13:20 UTC

I'm Jade the least favourite smith the second daughter and overall nightmare child in comparison to jasmine :/

Hi my darlings! your favourite Auntie, Jean here. Janes sister, 46 going on 20 (thanx to my best friend botox).

2021-01-26 15:15:15 UTC

Below is a sneak peak into my fabulous life ...

What Auntie Jean gets up to

2021-01-26 17:58:38 UTC

Keeping fit!

2021-01-26 18:02:17 UTC

Gotta stay looking young and feeling good

Getting messy with the painters, doing up my extension!

2021-01-26 18:06:20 UTC

Lots of quiz nights and calls with the fam!

2021-01-26 18:10:08 UTC

Late night calls with the gals

2021-01-26 18:18:32 UTC

Auntie Jeans Mission To Find a Lockdown Lover

2021-01-26 18:20:31 UTC

Although I do love a bit of fun with my Johnny Boy (Don't tell Granny or the girls) our love from our teenage years have diminished. Not, that he should find out but the main reason we have our little thing on the side, is because I'm just trying to get back at my sister for sending me to rehab AGAIN! and he's cleeeeaaarly not over me. but I feel that something is missing, I miss the romance, the spontaneous weekend getaways and I am a woman of action so here is a snippet of my attempts to find my Mr Right.

2021-01-26 18:28:58 UTC

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2021-01-26 18:33:48 UTC

Best, Sister, Auntie, Mistress ever! right?

2021-01-26 18:46:24 UTC

Tensions are rising

2021-01-26 18:47:30 UTC

Juicy conversation with Jane

Hush Hush

2021-01-26 18:48:28 UTC

Me & Johnny boy

Love you Girlies

2021-01-26 18:48:57 UTC

the bribe worked! a conversation with Jas & Jade

Granny's Catching On...

2021-01-26 18:51:01 UTC

Gotta stay loyal. A conversation with Granny Smith

Messages from unsuccessful dates

2021-01-26 21:20:21 UTC

Some men, just don't have manners!
here are some messages from my many unsuccessful dates (it's not me, its them). Ps. These are the most sfw messages I received, others included highly pornographic images and videos and I even had some awful video dates where they clearly decided that cyber sex on the first date was a good idea smh, not for me.

No Pain(t) No Gain

2021-01-26 21:50:54 UTC

Faces as beautiful as mine take work, here is documentation of me under the knife. Work by the very professional surgeon and friend Dr.Smithson

2021-01-26 21:51:05 UTC

Keeping myself and my lovelies safe of course

2021-01-27 16:14:12 UTC

Smith Family Video Call

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-28 10:57:46 UTC

Video Chat with Jean

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-28 11:18:16 UTC

How was Jane created?

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-28 11:19:57 UTC

Initial drawing

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-28 11:22:09 UTC

Base face structure made from tin foil, paper mache and air dry clay.

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-28 11:23:15 UTC

Then sanded and painted with acrylic paint.

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-28 11:23:57 UTC

And finally varnished to protect it.

Where did the idea come from?

asjohnson1999 — 2021-01-28 11:24:31 UTC

We set out on this project with the intention to have fun. To play around with the situation we and everyone else across the country are currently dealing with, unable to see family, shielding, isolating and only able to connect through social media.
We wanted to create a typical dis functional middle class British family and so within that I wanted to create a 'yummy mummy' style character, that loves wine more than her husband.
I chose this route for Jane because I wanted to continue to explore the theory of femininity as a masquerade. Using masquerade theory as a critique of feminist visual arts emphasises the patriachal power where women engineer a specific representation of femininity in accordance with male desire, as well as, exposing the concept of femininity as a performative effect.
So with that in mind this seemed a perfect chance to literally mask up and perform some stereotypical versions of femininity.

2021-01-28 13:48:46 UTC

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Dr. Smithson

2021-01-28 13:54:55 UTC

First I began by reconstructing the face. Nicole Kidman as inspiration upon Jeans request I added more fat into her cheeks and shaved down her nose and sculped it into the little pixie nose she desired.

2021-01-28 13:55:10 UTC

Next I started pulling back the skin, over my new improvements and smoothing it over, sculpting it perfectly. I used a very safe and professional surgically clean environment as you can see, and all the correct tools.

(clay layer, dried then sanded by hand and with a dremel)

2021-01-28 13:55:16 UTC

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After the face finally healed, at part of my practice policy there is always a complimentary makeover. My team of professional makeup artists did their best work on Jean to make her look and feel like the fantastic, glamourous movie star she is! I am very pleased with the overall results and I am looking forward to seeing my loyal client Jean when her face inevitably falls flat in a few weeks.

(Acrylic paint, sealed and finished with morrells ultra gloss lacquer)

One of my online dates

2021-01-28 15:04:45 UTC

Hi, I am John Smith, the patriarch that this family needs!

2021-01-28 15:11:57 UTC

I work in a mystery business firm that forces me to go on trips very often. Especially around north London where Jean Smith lives. I have two beautiful daughters that loves my wallet more than my deadbeat persona, and I have been graced by my mother Granny Smith, with cheeto coloured hair and huge ears.

Everything is going great with my wife!

2021-01-28 15:19:14 UTC

And with my sister in law...

2021-01-28 15:19:53 UTC

2021-01-28 15:21:01 UTC

My daughters love me!!

2021-01-28 15:22:19 UTC

I think this whole covid thing is nonsense

2021-01-28 15:23:34 UTC

But my family doesn't agree...it's just like the flu!

Fine i'll wear a mask!!!

2021-01-28 15:24:21 UTC

You know this Nigel Farage guy has a point...

2021-01-28 15:26:27 UTC

Me interacting with my fmily on fb...

2021-01-28 15:30:55 UTC

Between covid and quarantine, I don't see them much...
Maybe it's for the best.

In my youth i had a past with drugs but now it's all behind me. I'm a respectable father and family man.

2021-01-28 15:36:58 UTC

Before having work done...

2021-01-28 15:38:01 UTC

Gruesome cosmetic surgery photo, look if you dare....

2021-01-28 15:38:34 UTC

(out of character)

2021-01-28 15:40:49 UTC

I used clip studio paint to create thi family picture. I cut out the background and placed them on a generic abstract picture backdrop. I cut out the masks and colour corrected some of the clothes and skin to better fit the individual characters. Granny smith and Jean Johnson are add ons as it was extremely difficult to find an appropriate stock photo. I added a number of filters, noise and grain effects to blend everything in and to give it a late 90s early 2000s look. In the end it is unrecognizable from the base elements.

2021-01-28 15:52:26 UTC

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My socials

2021-01-28 16:24:31 UTC

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100061550559486

smithfamily — 2021-01-28 20:02:06 UTC

2021-01-29 04:23:04 UTC

Hello dears I'm Granny Smith...And welcome to my TedTalk..LOL grankids told me to put that... I'm a little old lady who loves her family, loves her cats, and loves her soaps. I''ve been getting very lonely being separated from my family during lockdown so i am on the facebook now...lol can you believe granny is on the web...scroll down below to see what granny has been up to....

2021-01-29 04:23:15 UTC

Here we go again... Jasmine and Jade edited me onto an apple ... well...i guess because I'm a granny smith..heee hee hhaha...xxx

2021-01-29 04:23:28 UTC

Here is me today ... I've changed a lot over the last couple of months... I've got a new face that I'm finally happy with.

2021-01-29 04:23:56 UTC

Here is me bless me before my cosmetic surgery and hip replacement... i feel blessed ... we are so lucky to have the NHS ...

2021-01-29 04:24:43 UTC

surgery was bloomin painful

2021-01-29 04:25:36 UTC

here i am waiting to have me ears done

2021-01-29 04:35:30 UTC

Here is sneak peak at my Facebook profile. Granny has been on the web more than she thought she would ever be...!! LOL... got to keep in touch with my beautiful family.

2021-01-29 05:16:06 UTC

Now being on Facebook has been difficult for a little old lady ... many strange people live on the web.... and i've had lots of strange conversations.. Here is a snippet of Granny's messages with the family... If you want to see more conversations with strangers on the world wide web, scroll to the bottom of my padlet and let me tell you dear... you'll see lots of weird messages that granny has got LOL

Aisha

2021-01-29 05:16:36 UTC

Our little family has been lucky enough to afford our own personal Alexa... i think that's what she is lol.... she... is very helpful when granny needs her med or just a cuppa bless her

Aisha

2021-01-29 05:16:53 UTC

But ... if Granny is being honest with you... she's a little strange... she's been saying the oddest things dears... i think she is alive? i don't understand the web., don't ask granny hee hee ... xx

Aunty Jean

2021-01-29 05:17:37 UTC

Aunty Jean is my daughter in law's sister ... Jane and me ... well she's a nice lady but you know granny wants the best for her son... But don't get me started on Jean . One word. TRAINWRECK. lOL. and ever since she's been part of the family there's been trouble.. and rumour has it.. there's something go on with my John and her!!!! I couldn't believe it

The Grandkids

2021-01-29 05:18:13 UTC

Jade and Jasmine our my two little angels... Jazzy.. well she's perfect...i adore my grandkids.. you know what grannys are like and no one can stop me giving Jaz a little pocket money if she needs it.. Jade was a sweetheart... think she's going through a bit of an 'emo' phase at the moment though ...

Aisha and Jean

2021-01-29 05:19:13 UTC

a word of advice for anyone bringing granny down...

John

2021-01-29 05:20:01 UTC

apple of my eye is my boy, can always depend on him...just sometimes jane interferes and i know that's why he doesn't message me that much !!!! for goodness sakes!!!!

Cyprus holidays

2021-01-29 05:20:53 UTC

My family... before this lockdown... welll we went holiday every year... without fail.. Aisha found some old pics from Cyprus and sent them to me and i'm...well... i'm just gutted... breaks my little heart not getting to go on our family holidays ... last year and probably will be next year now... it's all i look forward to.

Granny's family video

2021-01-29 05:21:38 UTC

Since lockdown.. grannys certainly been getting better at using her smartphone... watch this little video i made for my wonderful family.. i get lonely during isolation and its nice for me to look at old pictures...oo and it let me put old franky sinatra as the music...granny actually shed a tear at this ..

Tom and Jerry

2021-01-29 05:22:52 UTC

Anyone that knows me...well they know i do bloomin love my family... but there's two other men in my life that are just as important...Tom and Jerry.. my two little siamese cats. I dunno how granny would of through lockdown without them. That sit on granny's lap every evening while i watch my soaps

RIP ANNA

2021-01-29 05:23:11 UTC

Bless her... you know granny wasn't always a cat person... i had dogs all my life.. and then anna died. I couldn't bring myself to get another dog. Anna was perfect... and i've got her ashes.. so she's with me all the time. And if i'm being honest... i'm too old for a dog... my little cats are house cats you see ... and i never really leave the house that much... even before lockdown

Videocalling my family

2021-01-29 05:23:39 UTC

Well as you know...lol... there's pandemic going on!!! We've been having christmas over bloody zoom and video calling all the blooming time... love seeing my family.. but i telll you this.. for us little old ladies.. do these calls is bloody hard work!!! getting it setup.. the mic goes on and off ... camera turns off when its likes... LOL granny gets fed up

2021-01-29 05:23:54 UTC

Wear a mask

2021-01-29 05:24:43 UTC

Wear a bloomin mask for us oldies!!! alright!!! these bloody kids on the bus... this is why we're in the bloomin mess ey!!!!

#wearadamnmask

2021-01-29 05:24:58 UTC

Granny in the Park

2021-01-29 05:26:30 UTC

Managed to go to the park a couple weeks ago with my carer when i had my docs appointment... was lovely to get some fresh air.. beautiful day.. had to get a pic for the grandkids

Granny in the snow

2021-01-29 05:26:43 UTC

Bloomin heck it snowed in london the other day... managed to get out to see it... was bloody beautfiul... cheered me right up

Granny being a snowman

2021-01-29 05:26:54 UTC

me pretending to be a snowman at ali pali lol!!!...what do you think kids

2021-01-29 05:27:42 UTC

me on facebook xx

Granny relaxing

2021-01-29 05:27:56 UTC

Its bloody tiring be ing a lockdown... put my soaps on... put a facemask on... and granny is relaxed

2021-01-29 05:28:23 UTC

I am a Christian don't you know

2021-01-29 05:28:39 UTC

i like to have a joke and a laugh but i have got moral and values dear

LOL cats !!! i'm addicted

2021-01-29 05:28:51 UTC

Granny is a widow

2021-01-29 05:29:06 UTC

Well i lost my partner... the kids grandad .... 20 odd years ago now... avent been with no on since... miss him everyday

....you can't pull the wool over grannys eyes..

2021-01-29 05:29:32 UTC

lol this is granny!!...

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Strange men messaging poor old granny on facebook

2021-01-29 05:30:46 UTC

i was getting very popular on facebook... since i got it ... everyone wants to be friends with granny

2021-01-29 05:30:59 UTC

Strange men messaging poor old granny on facebook

2021-01-29 05:32:49 UTC

Strange men messaging poor old granny on facebook

2021-01-29 05:33:14 UTC

Strange men messaging poor old granny on facebook

2021-01-29 05:33:47 UTC

Strange men messaging poor old granny on facebook

2021-01-29 05:34:14 UTC

Strange men messaging poor old granny on facebook

2021-01-29 05:34:53 UTC

Strange men messaging poor old granny on facebook

2021-01-29 05:35:10 UTC

Strange men messaging poor old granny on facebook

2021-01-29 05:35:34 UTC

Strange men messaging poor old granny on facebook

2021-01-29 05:35:58 UTC

Gnomes

2021-01-29 05:37:21 UTC

I love my front garden in muswell hill...i'm always collecting something to put in it..and im always looking for a good gnome

Granny is getting abused on facebook

2021-01-29 05:41:49 UTC

i made a collage to show how poor old granny feels when she's been getting abuse on facebook.. about time we show our emotions.. it's been awful...i'm very candid about the work i've add done on my face...but i don't deserve to be abused for it... be kind to one another... i'm trying to set a good example for the grandkids you know....

2021-01-29 05:43:48 UTC