Tommy's Google Sites Peer Feedback 2020 - 2021 by Thomas Dreyer https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-01-04 19:33:53 UTC 2021-06-21 14:05:27 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f437.png Aaron Pinsky 27apinsky https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1067434416 I really like how you used a lot of figurative language. It really makes it fun to read! One thing that could have been better would be to add a bit more punctuation like commas, colons etc. But otherwise, it was great!]]> 2021-01-08 15:36:21 UTC https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1067434416 Snapshot 27arebuth https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1068521774 I really liked how you described your dog! I also like how you had all your thoughts! one thing that could be better is to describe what your setting looks like. great job!]]> 2021-01-08 19:35:00 UTC https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1068521774 Persuasive Essay https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1509536302 I liked how you were giving the feeling of playing video games and just resting. I also liked how you were really passionate in your warrants. My one suggestion though, is that on the second body paragraph, your claim and your sum it up sentence were not the same.]]> 2021-05-10 15:05:47 UTC https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1509536302 Persuasive Essay 27bbalestrino https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1509701094 I liked how you wrote it and it really spoke to the reader and told them the many reasons why video games are good. You also gave many good reasons to support your claim. I wish you added more to the warrant since they were very short and you could’ve elaborated more on your evidence. ]]> 2021-05-10 15:37:42 UTC https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1509701094 Two Stars and a Wish 27apinsky https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1513711784 One star I have for your essay is the good word choice you used for your transition words. A second star I have for your essay is your conclusion paragraph. It was great and really summed up the essay. One thing I think you could improve on would be to make sure to not use you, I, etc and add punctuation to where it is needed. But nevertheless, it was a great essay.]]> 2021-05-11 15:00:09 UTC https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1513711784 Kaiden m https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1513879408 I like that how you explained video games help kids actually make friends and socialize and relieve stress it shows good evidence that kids actually have a great inmpact when playing video games and actually can make them smarter too]]> 2021-05-11 15:32:16 UTC https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1513879408 Luca p 27gpentlicky https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1514638209 Hi tommy a strength in your essay is you beginning paragraph because it pull the reader in and I liked that a lot. 
Another strength in your essay is your zinger how is let them down slowly and I doesn’t just say it is the end I have no suggestions
]]> 2021-05-11 18:01:56 UTC https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1514638209 Alex M https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1612538450 I loved how you made the scenes and pictures they really put scenes in my mind. I like how the pictures describe what you are talking about. I also like how  the log is setup. I think you can add some more to the log i would really like that.]]> 2021-06-17 15:44:13 UTC https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1612538450 Nicky d https://padlet.com/27tdreyer/oqb4nik9vairok0m/wish/1617716486 I like how you mention to shower and I loved all the animated. Pictures you put in and also how you mention lavender and lemons because when I come to your house that’s the sweet flavor of your soap 

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