https://padlet.com/28dmyers/Urmomisgay69420 Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 15:28:24 UTC 2022-03-10 12:32:56 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f4dd.png https://padlet.com/28dmyers/Urmomisgay69420/wish/1921141054 I really liked the end, when you said you yelled touchdown that was by far my favorite part. The description you put in to that one ending is incredible. Also the way you described everything around you was great, it really felt like I was there. Even the way you described the other coach throwing his book on the ground, that was funny. My one wish is i don’t understand much about football so maybe if you explained what was happening on the field in terms someone like me could understand that would be great. But overall it was a delightful piece and i really loved it. ]]> 2021-11-30 18:34:35 UTC https://padlet.com/28dmyers/Urmomisgay69420/wish/1921141054 https://padlet.com/28dmyers/Urmomisgay69420/wish/2084618181 hi Dylan, one strength in your essay is that you can really pull at the heartstrings. While I was reading it was really persuasive, it was really sad but in a good way. Whale reading, especially the part about cancer, really persuaded me. It has the capability to change even the most stubborn person's opinion. Another thing you did well was your call to action. I really liked how you listed the people who should say this. Especially when you said online influencers, this was really creative and really set off the whole conclusion paragraph for me. One improvement you can make is in the warrant of the first crews. While I was reading the very beginning it didn’t make much sense to me. It was confusing for me but the rest of the warrant was good.]]> 2022-03-08 18:37:01 UTC https://padlet.com/28dmyers/Urmomisgay69420/wish/2084618181 28tocana https://padlet.com/28dmyers/Urmomisgay69420/wish/2088223463 Hello, Dylan! A strength that I have seen within your essay “Kids and Their Need of Sports” is “School sports can create helpful and unbreakable bonds between kids”. This statement is very strong and a motivating claim. This claim has the power to spark strong connections with people and sports. Another strength of this essay is in the first body paragraph. The way you said that breaking an arm or leg or even losing a match will instill a lot more than just joy and pride once you win. This is very moving and powerful. This proves that even if you get hurt or lose you can still find a way to gain happiness in the end. As my third star for you in your introduction paragraph. In one of the sentences you wrote “how could they do this and get away with it?” It is very powerful and engaging between the question you asked and the reader's thoughts.]]> 2022-03-10 12:32:56 UTC https://padlet.com/28dmyers/Urmomisgay69420/wish/2088223463