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-ecstasy-

01:43 ━━━━●───── 03:50

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻

ılıılıılıılıılıılı

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Welcome!!~

This is my vent pad because I kinda need it and my mental health is dying slowly- anyway if you need to vent I'll be here <3 I dont think I'll give people admin but I'll think about it if I know you enough :D

{Theme: Toro <3 and stars(space?)}

♡ ∧＿∧ ＿∧ ♡

♡ (๑･ω･)ω<๑) ♡

♡ /⌒ づ⊂⌒ヽ ♡

　 ╰ ͜ ͜ ͜ ͜ ╯

O

o

°

〃∩ ∧＿∧ ♡

⊂⌒（ '·ω·）♡

｀ヽ_っ＿/￣￣￣/

　 　 ＼/＿＿＿/

Warnings!-

!!-Mentions of:

-BAD ASS GRAMMAR (really bad)

-cussing

-alcohol use

-self harm

-suicidal thoughts

-starving self (?)

-slight obssessiveness

-me being delusional

-me being stupid/clueless

So i was looking throught my mom's phone (Im nosy asf) and I saw her messages with my dad (they're divorced) and It was my mom talking about me. Heres how the convo went-

Dad: "Hey is [Cupid] okay?"

Mom: "Dont worry all this "panic attack" stuff is for attention. So stupid and I dont like people trying to guilt trip me like she's doing. You need to have a talk with him."

Dad: "Why me? I dont think hes doing it for attention. You can do it if it bothers you so much."

Mom: "Oh she's so suicidal boo hoo she needs to get over it because I'm already taking care of [my siblings names] and he's making it harder faking about how he wants to khs"

Dad: "Sure it is"

--------------------------------------------------------------

I used him/her pronouns for this :]

So I cried this morning because why would I fake that?? Also suicidal thoughts are not funny (to my mom ig they are)

but just had to get this out of my head :]]

Bye bye <3

-songs

-socials

-more ig

Brutal

Olivia Rodrigo

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐 𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝟏𝟕

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎?

𝑰𝒇 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆

"𝑬𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉, " 𝑰'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒖𝒑 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇

𝑰'𝒎 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝑰'𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆

𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒔 𝑰 𝒈𝒆𝒕?

𝑼𝒏𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒍𝒚 𝒖𝒑𝒔𝒆𝒕 (𝒂𝒉, 𝒂𝒉, 𝒂𝒉)

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔

𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒓

𝑬𝒈𝒐 𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆

𝑮𝒐𝒅, 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒓𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆

(𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒉!)

𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒎𝒆

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝑰'𝒎 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒆𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒅

𝑰 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒘𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒌

'𝑪𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝑰 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒐𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒕

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒍 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒌

𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒔 𝑰 𝒈𝒆𝒕?

♫

[this songs hits hard in the middle of the night when I'm crying]

But she told me that one of my best friends is holding me back from playing soccer and I can agree-...My girl bsf is always with me during soccer but when she's with me I kinda suck- The coach is my old coach who kicked me off my traveling team- kinda sad ig...anyway I think my mom is right but I dont know how to NOT talk to her and stuff-....well ig I'm done for today <3 Bye Bye

I wanna be your boyfriend

Hot Freaks

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐖𝐨𝐨!

𝐎𝐨𝐡, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐲

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐲

𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐈 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲

𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲

𝐎𝐡, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬

𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐫𝐮𝐧

𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞

𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐭

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲

𝐋𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚

𝐎𝐨𝐡, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲

𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞

𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐲

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐈'𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲

𝐋𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚 𝐥𝐚~

----------------------------------

I have NO motivation to play soccer, I feel like I'm losing my love for soccer-...That makes me sad :]

I practice 5 days in a row with extra practice on Fridays for about 1.5-2 hours each. My motivation for soccer is going 📉📉 It makes me so sad cause I love soccer but my body is so tired so.....anyway that's all.

𝐀𝐠𝐞- 𝟏𝟔

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫- 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐞

‧₊˚ 🐚 ✩ ₊˚ 🌊 ⊹ 𓇼‧₊˚ 🐚 ✩ ₊˚ 🌊 ⊹ 𓇼

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲:

𝐈 𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐠𝐚𝐲?(𝐢𝐦 PANSEXUAL!)...𝐮𝐦 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭, 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚.

‧₊˚ 🐚 ✩ ₊˚ 🌊 ⊹ 𓇼‧₊˚ 🐚 ✩ ₊˚ 🌊 ⊹ 𓇼

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦:

𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘳

𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘺𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭

𝘟𝘊 (𝘊𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘺)

𝘈𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘦?

𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘦

𝘏𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳

𝘋𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨

𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘔 <3

𝘔𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘴

𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘺

𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺

𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥 (𝘗𝘐𝘌)

𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦

𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱

∧＿∧

　 (｡･ω･｡)つ━☆・*。

⊂/　 /　 ・゜

　 しーＪ　　　 °。+ * 。　

　　　　　 .・゜

　　　　　 ᴮᵉ ᵐⁱⁿᵉ!!

Swim Swim Swim lil jellyfish ><

(this is so random)

༘⋆🪼࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ༘⋆🪼࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ༘⋆🪼࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ༘⋆🪼࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

Ignore me bring delulu :D

So the guy I was talking abt (not Floyd) he moved to another school. I miss him sm idk why....I miss his smile and his voice </3 Another thing is soccer. I love it sm but it hurts, my legs hurt so bad I can not walk on my left leg without limping. ALSO GRADES. I have an 87 in my goverment Honors class and I told my mom and she freaked out. She yelled at me that I need all A's and I told my dad and he said it was okay and he's proud of me. I cried bc ilhsm <333 Anyway I'm done....Sorry for the long break if anyones reading these but I'll try to be on more? I dont know...

WELL LET ME CATCH UP EVERYTHING!

so I met two new people, (Kori) and (Apple) [not real name but yk..PRIVACY!!] And ILTSM!! <333 they are so illy but I'm like way older than them...I think they are between 13-14? dunno but me and Kori JOKE FLIRT- like I don't think it serious but Idk if they do. Oh! Me and Floyd have gotten CLOSER!! Yippee!! I think I officially have feelings for them, they just make me feel nice..and they match my energy when I'm flirty-ish? My dad has kinda gotten meaner but I barely talk to him sometimes. But anyway js wanted to check in with myself!! :3

I don't think anyone I know is on here anymore but if you're reading this then thanks!

Anyway if you wanna add me on discord my user is s.1lly_

🍥 okay ANOTHER UPDATE, this is like 1 year later?? This is a fucking time capsule like hellllooooo?? Anyway just tell me who you are if you do add me ^^