Edit: Never got this...

Edit: Never got it. lol

Edit: I got a boyfriend, absolutely regret betraying you Nam Joo Hyuk, forgive me

I hope to lose about 50 lbs. and gain some muscle. I already have some clothing in mind, so that I can buy it when I'm more confident in my body.

Credit to the young lady for taking this pic. My goal is to reach this type of body, or something close to it.

Once I get a hot 🤬 body, I'll make all men crawl for me hehehe. Villian eraaaa.

(I literally just changed the first sentence, I'm cooked yall.)

Edit: I didn't get these done either, but I did get many other designs done that aren't on this board before I finally got tired of having long nails.

Reason: It hits and it's something I wish to experience one day. The song is fun and joyful.

Mayor Que Yo - Idk

Reason: Reggaeton and It's lowkey relatable hehe

Me Matas - Eslabon Armado

Reason: Brings memories, bittersweet

Sugar On My Tongue - Tyler, The Creator

Reason: Tyler, The Creator is really good at producing songs. The lyrics are sick, the beats are sick, honestly everything.

Que Pasaria... - Rauw Alejandro & Bad Bunny

Reason: The beat and tempo of the song, Bad Bunny verse is pretty good.

Te Quiero Asi - Pedro Infante

Reason: Beautiful voice, beautiful lyrics that talk about love.

I hope everything works out in the end tho.

On the other hand, 'Te amo', seems to me to be a powerful statement. Two words with such powerful and true meaning. Maybe it's because in my culture that phrase isn't used often. Only for serious and genuine love.

I hope that one day I can tell those words to someone.

Edit: And I hope one day those words will be told to me.

How to say goodbye

To your warm and gentle hands?

How to part

To your lovely voice?

How to say 'so long'

To your beautiful song?

How to say farwell

To the little details

That made you well?

How to move along

To hearing your laugh

To not at all?

How to get unstuck

For everytime

I read this poem

It makes me cry?

How to say goodbye

When I can't let go?

1. Dresses

2. Dog bed, toys, appliances, etc.

3. New headphones

4. Gymwear

5. My own motorcyle and all the expenses before that

That's that.

I like the attention, I am an attention seeking 🤬. It's unfortunate. I wonder why I like the attention, maybe because it makes me feel validated, I should give myself the attention...not seek it from others.

Something I'm not proud of: I've been sleeping around. It's mostly impulsive and I also get pent up from all the stress and I just need release. No emotional connection, which I'm okay with, but after sex my conscience comes back. I get impulsive and 🤬, that I look for people who want to hookup, but then I regret it after that high is gone.

I'm just working, studying, eating, and sleeping. I should also add workouts to that cycle. Little by little I make deposits for my student loans, so that is going well too.

School is going well, I try my best with the both school I go to. Some people can be so dumb, even at school, that's I can't believe it sometimes.

Work is going well, except I don't quite like it when I have things to do outside of work. Which means I have to spend any free time doing those tasks so I don't stress myself out even more. Also, I've managed my emotions a little more, as in I don't get mad easily from the stupidity of customers. This is something I'm proud of, my mentality has changed because I realized that it's just work, and they don't pay me enough to get mad.

I left this as a draft, it is now May. Things have ended but not in the way I wanted them to. I saw his true colors in the end though, that is when I knew things had to be put to an end. I've been happier though, so there's that.

1. When I text back immediately, and it takes hours for them to respond

2. When I'm the 'man' of the relationship

3. The lack of consistency from the other person

4. Love bombing...isn't that manipulation?

5. Once a boundary is set and addressed, it's not followed. Boundary not respected = person doesn't respect you.

   
   

At the beginning I addressed that I wished for him to message me more, to let me know when he is busy and unable to text me back. He happily agreed to doing that, and it worked for a while. One night he texted me that he was getting ready, that same minute he sent me a text I sent him a response, which I had no answer to. I panicked, I sent him message after message in the span of a few hours, and nothing. I deleted all my messages, which he would be able to see were deleted, but he never texted me back about that. I only sent him one message: Buenas noches. And finally, he responded back. I sent him a good morning text and he did the same, I followed up with another text asking how his night went. He left me on read.

I honestly would've been fine with all that happened if he simply told me that he was busy and unable to text. But he didn't, and he didn't contact me for 12 hours. I was upset, of course, because during those hours of silence I could only think the worst. I did consider forgiving and continuing what we had, but the trust I had for him was no longer there. It would be extremely hard to gain that back, especially during long distance. I did send him a text that I would like to keep going, but once again he took hours to respond. My impatience helped me make the decision that had to be done. Was I wrong? Impulsive? Was it too little of an issue to react that way?