Fear of Open Conflict - Checking In by Tyler Richendollar https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks Take a few minutes to reflect on the questions posed and share en-us 2021-01-05 17:28:48 UTC 2021-02-05 18:44:44 UTC hello@padlet.com Right time/Right place https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169711921 I was raised to "not air your dirty laundry". This meant any conflict was handled behind closed doors/in private. I struggle with discerning the difference between finding the right time and place and being conflict avoidant, because I want to be liked]]> 2021-02-05 18:36:55 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169711921 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169712058 Very much want to hear about what the advantages of open conflict are - I've always thought that people instinctually avoid conflict when possible and understanding advantages might help fight that  propensity]]> 2021-02-05 18:36:57 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169712058 Disproportionate consequences https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169712135 There are different consequences/perceptions of open conflict for those who raise it, depending on their identity. As a white woman, I've never been afraid I'd lose my job for raising something. I know my Black colleagues have felt differently. And some have been labeled "difficult."]]> 2021-02-05 18:36:58 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169712135 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169712458 I hesitate to raise an issue because I'm not sure if anything can be done or I don't have a suggestion for a solution (related to the point about being worried about being seen as a "thorn") and also thinking "what is the point, nothing will likely be accomplished by raising this issue."]]> 2021-02-05 18:37:02 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169712458 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169712876 Fear of raising an issue especially when there is a power imbalance]]> 2021-02-05 18:37:07 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169712876 Not wanting to share issues for fear of retaliation kfranklin33 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169714434 2021-02-05 18:37:25 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169714434 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169715870 Wanting to speak up about something but holding back fearing that my comments or voice would be immediately dismissed or ignored]]> 2021-02-05 18:37:43 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169715870 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169716407 How being raised in a culture outside of this country where women especially are expected not to cause any waves shapes my daily interactions.]]> 2021-02-05 18:37:50 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169716407 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169716744 A silencing of ones self in order to keep the peace of the team. I also think about how code-switching shows up for BIPOC's folks at DP]]> 2021-02-05 18:37:54 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169716744 How this is changing the idea of what being "Professional" means. https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169716852 2021-02-05 18:37:56 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169716852 silencing others to keep those with power or those considered to be in the "in crowd" comfortable. https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169718071 2021-02-05 18:38:11 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169718071 Fear of repercussion tyler226 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169718581 Not speaking up because it may not be taken well and could strain relationships, and may lead to that person to talk negatively about me to others]]> 2021-02-05 18:38:17 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169718581 Viewing open conflict as productive and how to make it productive https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169719303 2021-02-05 18:38:26 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169719303 Positional power matters https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169721088 The greatest challenges I've seen are around folks speaking "up the chain" and being heard or perceived as problematic.]]> 2021-02-05 18:38:47 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169721088 Being more aware of potential conflict situations as they are happening. https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169721361 2021-02-05 18:38:50 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169721361 jjackson103 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169722344 no structure or shared language for dealing with conflict results in a lot of passive aggressive behaviors, side conversations and lingering ill will.]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:03 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169722344 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169722501 Missing out on learning opportunities to not "call out" someone who said something incorrect or incomplete for the sake of feelings, time or other considerations]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:06 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169722501 I typically avoid conflict in an effort to preserve the polite norm https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169722637 2021-02-05 18:39:07 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169722637 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169722690 White folx often perceive conflict with POC when it is not there.

]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:08 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169722690 Avoidance VILS https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169724179 Having a team members who don't follow through, but it's never brought up. Although many have same feeling]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:27 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169724179 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169724915 How conflict can impact the livelihood of BIPOC individuals when it occurs in the workplace. The words that are used to describe them/the conflict "angry" "assertive" "tension" ]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:34 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169724915 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169725112 will people internally and externally still want to work with me if i seem impolite or "difficult"]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:37 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169725112 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169725810 Not knowing when the right time is to bring something up or who to bring it up with]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:45 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169725810 kfranklin33 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169726179 How much the desire to "fix" (my need to comfort) comes up as related to fear of conflict.]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:50 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169726179 Speak up, step back? https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169726391 As a white woman, I am learning more about when to use my power and privilege to speak up and approach conflict in ways that reduce harm and advocate for changes that benefit my BIPOC colleagues. But I also know I need to sometimes step back and let others lead or back them as allies. I need to be careful not to center myself in the work. Or assume others don't have voice.]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:52 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169726391 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169726483 Acceptance over challenging ideas/behaviors ]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:53 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169726483 Disingenuous Interactions https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169726715 Back channel talk. Instead of saying the point of concern or difference to the person or at the time, Slack DMs become a place to express those things. It leaves me with a sense of distrust of any interaction I have at DP, wondering to myself, "What does this or that person really think?"]]> 2021-02-05 18:39:55 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169726715 Navigating conflict https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169728241 BIPOC are taught to navigate conflict in order to survive. So the fear of open conflict is rooted in survival and loss of lively hood rather than embarrassment or discomfort. ]]> 2021-02-05 18:40:14 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169728241 Those on leadership team not creating space for open conversation. mhodge17 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169731229 Those not in "power" not feeling comfortable speaking up for fear of retaliation. 

]]> 2021-02-05 18:40:48 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169731229 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169731599 as a white person i experience and perpetuate this norm]]> 2021-02-05 18:40:53 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169731599 +1 on back channel talk instead of saying the point of concern or difference https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169731951 2021-02-05 18:40:57 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169731951 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169733333 The importance of naming and addressing the conflict and sitting with any discomfort that may come along with it]]> 2021-02-05 18:41:13 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169733333 Finding my Voice VILS https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169734281 If others are going to avoid, how can I bring up in a productive manner.]]> 2021-02-05 18:41:25 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169734281 When to discuss a conflict and when to leave it alone and just deal with it https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169734311 2021-02-05 18:41:25 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169734311 Perceptions of "how" https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169735124 Growing up in a white household, I was taught that it's ok to disagree but that you have to be very nice and diplomatic and calm and finesse any conversation around conflict. I know that white dominant bias influences what I perceive as "good" conflict or convos on conflict and what I perceive as "bad." I think DP as a culture embodies that bias as well.

]]> 2021-02-05 18:41:34 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169735124 the importance of not centering my norms and expectations, as a white person, when there is a conflcit. And when I've not done that (and centered on my/whiteness). https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169735393 2021-02-05 18:41:37 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169735393 jjackson103 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169735497 less clear about my role in disrupting this in a way that is helpful and not perpetuating white supremacy culture.]]> 2021-02-05 18:41:38 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169735497 https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169750570 white tears ]]> 2021-02-05 18:44:42 UTC https://padlet.com/tyler226/Bookmarks/wish/1169750570