For some teens, status and popularity are of the utmost importance. Observations about social structure, how status and hierarchy function in the world and at school, and what the consequences of being popular or unpopular are often the focus of daily life for some students. In particular, the social structure that allows some students to be popular requires those students to bully their less popular classmates to maintain their position.

The school setting drastically changes the intensity of bullying. For example, there is a major difference between bullying at the park (where the participants, and therefore the social structure, are constantly changing) and bullying at school, where the players remain constant and must defend their reputations daily against the same "threats." This results in a system where there's a great deal of pressure to constantly do the "right" thing in order to be perceived as more popular and climb the social ladder. The leader of the popular kids, and maintains his/her position by creating an environment where it's in their classmates' best interests to get as close to him/her as possible by ostracizing those he/she deems unpopular. At times, this results in widespread bullying against anyone who refuses to associate with the “leader”. There is social currency to be had in putting others down in front of the right people.

When a popular student finally chooses to stand up to others who try to bully unpopular children, other people are far more likely to stand up to bullying when they see evidence they are not going to be bullied themselves for doing so. The end result is that life is more fulfilling for all involved to participate in a social structure based instead on kindness, community, and lifting up others.

Adolescents waver between childishness and teenage angst, not without anxiety or difficulty, but it's important to recognize that the support shown by his parents allows them to experiment with growing up or acting childish with relatively few consequences. If a teen is feeling lonely and desires affirmation from either parent, they're always there to give that to him/her—and they're similarly ready and willing to give them space and more adult treatment. Some children, however, don't have nearly this degree of parental involvement or support. Some children feel happier, safer, or more at home in the presence of a friend’s mom and dad than they do with their own parents. This in turn corresponds with those children not having such a safe space in their own homes in which to experiment with their emotions or their desires. This is particularly true in the case of a child whose parents are not in agreement about how to support their child. Though most adolescents naturally draw away from their parents, they overwhelmingly still need a stable, guiding, adult force in their lives. Though teachers may be overwhelmingly kind, they have comparatively less power to influence their students' core values, and even less power when those core values are espoused by their students' parents. Parent figures have an immense amount of influence on what kind of people their children become. Parents and teachers can model kindness, tolerance, and community, as well as selfishness and superiority to the impressionable children that look up to them.