Maaf zahir dan batin (Syawal from 2020 & beyond) by P7:1SMA Ltd. Singapore

Apa itu maaf zahir dan batin?

info1623 — 2020-06-20 08:19:33 UTC

Kami insan biasa yang sering melakukan kesalahan. Tiada yang sempurna di dunia ini, tapi sama-samalah kita cuba untuk selalu memperbaiki diri.

Kami ingin bertanya tentang “ayat” yang selalu digunakan di pagi Aidilfitri, dalam kad-kad dan mesej ucapan hari raya.

Apabila kita memohon maaf zahir dan batin, apa yang kita mengharapkan?

info1623 — 2020-06-20 09:29:32 UTC

Important to note:

info1623 — 2020-06-20 09:35:24 UTC

Imagine that you are asking for forgiveness. Without being able to touch, hug, tear and visit due to the departed, distanced or strained relationships etc. please share your apology here. 

Please know that you are not broken. You are not alone. Your apology will be felt in all of our hearts. Together, we will soften the way we speak to each other.

You decide who it is for.
These prompts are just openings and can be disregarded.

What will you say to minta maaf / say sorry to different people?
What are you apologising for? How will you say sincerely?

Steps:

1. Choose a format that is most sincere to you. Please OWN it.

2. Format: letter/ video/ audio/photo/ up to you lah

3. Use any language or body language.

4. You can use your name or remain anonymous.

info1623 — 2020-06-20 09:42:02 UTC

Find out more about P7:1SMA at website or instagram.

This way of thinking and expressing is essential.

info1623 — 2020-06-20 09:44:15 UTC

- Thinking about an apology?

- What is an apology that can satisfy?

- How do you say sorry sincerely?

P7:1SMA wishes to invite community and country to reflect on how apology is expressed in person and in distance.

This way of thinking and expressing is essential. We hope that this can help someone out there. Together, we will soften the way we speak to each other. Let's perform your apology this Syawal 2026.

The meaning of the word “Maaf Zahir & Batin” is not only about celebration, food and new clothes that we buy to use during Syawal / Hari Ray Aidilfitri. It is a time for “atonement” to ask for forgiveness for sins that we may have done knowingly or unknowingly to others by our words, thoughts, deeds and actions. At times we find it so difficult to come forth to ask for forgiveness to those we have hurt unintentionally. This is the best time to ask for forgiveness, or is it? 🫶🏽

info1623 — 2020-06-20 10:25:38 UTC

info1623 — 2020-06-20 10:38:08 UTC

info1623 — 2020-06-20 11:00:29 UTC

info1623 — 2020-06-20 11:51:44 UTC

2020-06-20 13:02:52 UTC

Some i did without thinking how much it would hurt you. Maybe it was out of spite for reasons?, maybe it was unintentional. For all that have hurt because of me, my actions or words: i am sorry. I humbly hope you can forgive me even if you cannot forget.
-Anonymous

info1623 — 2020-06-20 13:20:40 UTC

Click on the (+) sign above to add your words/ letter/ photo/ audio etc.

You can write in any language/ length / dedicate it to someone/ remain anonymous etc.

Good enough

2020-06-20 15:24:34 UTC

I am sorry if my best is not good enough. Please know that I am sincere in my efforts so thank you for your patience.
-Anonymous

Human

2020-06-20 16:06:40 UTC

I forgive you so that you remember that We are human. He forgives us unconditionally. Why would u deny me of your forgiveness. We lost. We learn. We let live.
-Anonymous

An Apology for Better Life in this World and the Hereafter

2020-06-21 03:19:25 UTC

Maafkan saya atas segala perbuatan saya yang telah menguris hati ataupun menanamkan rasa yang tidak baik dalam sanubari awak tentang saya. Sesungguhnya saya manusia yang tidak putus dari dosa dan khilaf. Saya akan terus memperbaiki diri demi kebaikkan dunia dan juga akhirat.
- Anonymous

Apologies

fazliahmad320 — 2020-06-21 05:55:20 UTC

I am sorry for not being that person or that idea you want me to be. What lives in your mind is valid and its true. To you. I am sorry i cannot perform for you anymore. I am me.

Sometimes it is congruous what we believe in, many times it is not. That is okay. I am sorry and I will keep saying I am sorry because you are you and you are me.
-Anonymous

info1623 — 2020-06-21 06:02:52 UTC

Social media’s impact on mental health by Nurin Nazifa Binte Mohd Yusoff

Cikgu

2020-06-21 12:21:21 UTC

Saya ingin minta maaf dengan cikgu kerana selalu susahkan cikgu dan semua. Ada kalanya, ramai yang mengutuk dan menuduh cikgu tidak pandai mendidik anak. Tapi, cikgu selalu memberi saya ruang untuk mengatur langkah dan memberi nasihat tentang hidup dan mati. Seni itu ruang yang penting untuk saya memahami buah fikiran dan menjaga kesihatan. Saya amat berterima kasih kerana cikgu menerima saya di dalam keluarga ini. Saya sedar bahawa ada yang rasa malu dengan tindakan saya. Membuat cikgu malu. Saya minta maaf kerana saya tidak dapat menipu diri. Saya berdoa dan mengharap yang naluri minda dan badan saya untuk berkarya ini juga atas niat untuk menolong dan menyatukan hati diantara yang ramai. Saya tidak pandai menjaga mulut dan hanya mampu meminta maaf atas malu yang datang bersama dengan saya. Harap halalkan makan dan minum saya dan terima kasih cikgu kerana memberi saya semangat di dalam senyuman dan juga berdiam diri.
-Anonymous

An apology to my loving parents

2020-06-21 15:10:11 UTC

Thank you Mama and Abah for all the sacrifices you’ve made to ensure that our family has all we need (and sometimes want). The family has gone through thick and thin and I’m truly happy that we are all still staying under one roof.

I would like to apologise for not being the pious and religious child you hoped for. The both of you did everything right but I just can’t seem to practise as closely as everyone else at home. I do believe in God but there are just some key happenings in the past few years which has made me view religion in a slightly different way.

It breaks my heart every time you tell me that you’ll be questioned on my sins in the after life. When I do these things I usually just think about how it affects me. It’s really unfair that our religion’s principles has gotten you involved when you’ve truly done nothing wrong.

To let you know, my life philosophy right now is about being a better human being, which may or may not involve praying five times a day. I really hope that you’ll be more accepting of this person I’ve become.

(Dear God, could you please make sure that both of my parents earn a place in heaven, please.)
- Anonymous

2020-06-21 15:17:36 UTC

Dear Darlings,

Some of us are not fortunate to have the luxury of time and especially resources. Many of us either parents have to do what it takes just to get by...

U may not understand it now but surely one day u would...tho i do not wish for u to go thru it..

I'm sorry I couldn't be there as promised... daddy loves u unconditionally...

Daddy di perbatasan...

-Anonymous

2020-06-21 17:18:00 UTC

Why apologizing is important?
-Anonymous

Salam Akhir Zaman

2020-06-22 03:11:04 UTC

How the world is now🌎
When we open our eyes, our hearts and our minds.

My apology is for being ignorant.

For justifying my wrong for a greater cause.

Alive but not living.

Complaining instead of doing.

Loving but not caring.

Voicing out but remain silent.

I apologize for me and others like me.

- Anonymous

2020-06-22 08:11:03 UTC

Dear you,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I gave too much, and I'm sorry that I gave too little.
I'm sorry that I can't help you love yourself more, even though I desperately want that for you.
I'm sad that you don't need me that much.
I'm sorry that I need(ed) you.
I'm okay now, thank you for helping me be okay.
I'll always be here.
I hope you can forgive me, I hope you can forgive yourself.
Love, me.

- Anonymous

syarifuddinsahari — 2020-06-22 08:52:13 UTC

Dear you,

For;
Being too hurt and broken.
Building walls around me, thinking I'm protecting others when in fact I'm protecting myself.
Not giving enough love because I don't have enough love for myself.
Being too caught up with everything that I lost touch with everything else.
Not being there when needed.
Being too difficult and too hard on myself and to us.
Neglecting, not listening, not sparing a thought.
Becoming insensitive and unaware of what was happening to us.
Invalidating our thoughts and emotions, pushing them aside telling, "Lets not think about that."
Not being enough, and never being enough.
Absence.

I am sorry.
To you.
To everyone.
To myself.

-Anonymous

2020-06-22 09:40:58 UTC

I’m sorry that I get so mad at you for not listening to me. I feel like I’m talking to the wall. I’m getting so upset but I don’t know how to express it. I always make things worse and then just walk away. I’m sorry that I can’t help but want to demand from you. See me, look at me. I’m right here, why don’t you see me. I’m sorry if this isn’t what you were expecting, I’ve run out of begging words. I’m sorry that your life is doomed just being with me. I’m so sorry.
- Anonymous

2020-06-22 11:38:48 UTC

THANK YOU AND IM SORRY !

Im sorry if i ever neglected you, raise my voice at you, and push you aside when all you wanted was to make sure i live well and not make the mistakes you did when you were younger. You wanted me to have a life better than yours and trust me i got my own version of that. Although there is a lot that is awaiting for me.

Im thankful for your advice, for your endless scoldings, your love and support through everything. I couldnt pay up for all the things you have sarcrifice for me and everybody you love and because of your undying love, I want to be a better version of myself everyday. Along the way i may have fell, made a few mistakes which probably have snowballed and i just couldnt tell you anymore. I hope you forgive me for all the things i didnt do right and one day I want to make you proud. I want to do soo many things for you and hopefully god will be nice to us and let us spend more time so that i can make it up to you. Stay healthy, may god blessed you with great strength, health and wealth.

I love you,mak!
-Anonymous

2020-06-23 14:46:09 UTC

i am sorry.

how are you? i should’ve asked you that more. you are good in every sense goodness can be. you gave, expecting nothing in return. in the end you were empty. because i took, with no exchange. that was cold of me. but even in emptiness, you were never cold.

i see you.

in the warmth outside, after months indoors. i feel it, despite the distance. i’m building my own. can you feel it too? i hope so. and so, we started building apart. but i love seeing you grow.

i’ll be better.

for you - the running faces i see in my head. all of you. for me. the one that i’ve hurt too. i’ll pull harder at the weeds that refuse to be pulled. the weeds that have grown within these familiar four walls. let’s meet in newfound warmth one day. i’d really love that.

- Anonymous

info1623 — 2020-06-23 16:18:02 UTC

Sin Offering (Korban Hatat)

2020-06-24 13:26:53 UTC

http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/13764-sin-offering

2020-06-24 13:31:46 UTC

I am sorry for constantly making excuses for other people. People from my ethnic group and their insensitive remarks about others. My coreligionists, for their insensitive remarks and condemnation of those who are different from them. I am sorry for having remained silent and standing there, as I watch them evoke the wrath and damnation of their deity onto others. I am sorry and I cannot pretend any longer.
- anonymous

So who is an apology for?

2020-06-25 09:58:24 UTC

I learnt that being genuinely sorry was to have changed behaviour.

I know I betrayed your trust and did what I did. I promised I wouldn't tell, yet I let my temper get the better of me and told the last person I should have.

I know I've apologised by I still wonder, "would I still do it if I could turn back time?"

Yes, I would. My behaviour wouldn't change. To confront the injustice, at the expense of your trust. (However is this being defensive in my apology? Does it make it any less sincere?)

Was I sorry for I did? Yes.
Was I sorry for why I did it? No.

Perhaps it is to myself that I owe an apology. To accept that I'm not the ideal human I had planned to be. I am imperfect, I have a temper that is still being managed. Is it someone else's forgiveness that I need, or my own?

I'm sorry.
You really don't have to try so hard to be perfect.
You're trying, and that's good enough.

---

Come to think of it, could an apology be a selfish act? Sure we do it to make the other party feel better. But we also do it to feel better ourselves. To feel forgiven, to feel like we can put it behind us after everybody else does.

Is that why it's harder to move on for people who can't get closure, or apologise for the last time? Because it does not calm and soothe our own hearts, mind and soul?

So who is an apology for?
To whom do we owe it to?
Do we apologise for others or for ourselves?

- Anon

All I can say

2020-06-25 10:21:10 UTC

I'm sorry I'm gay.
I really am.
I know I shouldn't be, but I am.

I'm sorry that I won't be able to give you a daughter-in-law.
I'm sorry I can't bear you offsprings, but this hurts me as much as it does you.
I'm sorry that I'm not normal.
I'm sorry that I am a sin.
I'm sorry that I am potentially an embarrassment to the family.
I'm sorry that I didn't have a choice.
I'm sorry that I can't change it.

I'm sorry that all I can say is that I'm sorry.

And that I can't bear to let you know, or say sorry to your personally.

- Anon

2020-06-25 10:31:37 UTC

I’m sorry I don’t know how to apologise. I feel there are no words in the whole universe to truly make sense of a sincere apology. No teardrop can justify my apology. I just hope that you can feel my apology.

2020-06-25 10:34:28 UTC

I’m sorry Baba for making you mad and disturbing you. I hope that you will be proud of me soon.
From Ayden, 7 years old

2020-06-25 10:41:04 UTC

Dear .......

I have not been the nicest. I have never been the wisest. I have never asked for this to happen. I have never asked for an acceptance. I am sorry for not able to keep up to my words. I am sorry for I have been neglecting. I am sorry for not being able to provide you with anything. I am sorry but deserve more.

2020-06-25 10:42:52 UTC

I nak mintak maaf selame ini I simpan semua perasaan I. Nak share tapi takut u cakap I merepek. Nak gaduh pun takde energy lagi. Orang tengok macam happy tapi I rase weird seh, takde yang special je. I mintak maaf cos maybe u regret ah dengan I. I cube buat u happy ok.

reparations.

2020-06-26 08:17:06 UTC

i wish i could have you say sorry to me. the hardest thing to accept is that i may never hear it.

info1623 — 2020-06-28 08:03:11 UTC

Reflections by Shiao-yin Kuik

info1623 — 2020-06-28 08:05:23 UTC

Reflections on Apology

When I train leaders, sometimes a sincere question is raised in good faith about why we need to apologise.

This has made me believe that one of the most overlooked leadership skills is the skill of offering a clear, sincere and appropriate apology.

There are many reasons why we resist picking up or improving in this skill. I’ll focus on two and talk about why we must embark on a lifelong learning of apology as a skill.

First,
some of us have been trained to believe that apologies are a show of weakness - moral, intellectual, political or otherwise.

This belief could have been engrained by fiercely competent parental/power figures who we deeply respect. They may have learnt it from a previous generation or they have undergone their own significant trauma at the hands of a bullying power figure themself and vowed never to be weak ever again.

We might have learnt from them that to be respected, to be feared, to be dominant, one must never apologise. We might have been taught this explicitly or by modelling.

This is the playbook of observable patterns.

If the case raised against you by an opponent is obviously weak or better yet mistaken, you must seize the opportunity to bring them down. Belittle their incompetence and reliability. Berate then for their stupidity. Make a show of bringing down the weight of your individual and network power on them so people watching understand the high costs of taking you on.

To followers who ask you to consider an alternative way, you can subtly or explicitly belittle them too. You can acknowledge their softness or sweetness but with a tone of pity at their ignorance. Make sure they know that they have no sense of “the real world” and only you do.

The language used by proponents would be all about strength and dominance: being “muscular”, “vigorous”, “expect to be bloodied”, “get your hands dirty”, “watch your back”. Life is about being the rugged and respected, first-to-attack alphas, and your job is to (at best) benignly lead and instruct or (at worst) punish these bullyable betas so they are always on the defence.

If there is any substance to the case, find a way to move on quickly. Even in apology do not offer any word or sign that can be construed as weakness. Find a way to make the apology about you and your strengths.

People do persist in the behaviour because there are obvious gains: not a lot of people in the world know how to handle aggression so you can advance far in the world socially, financially, politically etc by “not being a nice guy”.

Any behavioural pattern comes with gains and costs. The individual cost here is mostly in personal growth, a kind of spiritual satisfaction and vulnerable relationships with others. It’s up to an individual to decide whether those are meaningful life rewards they want for themselves.

There will be an increasing societal cost of having a lot of people who are not personally evolving, not spiritually satisfied and not engaged in vulnerable relationships with others.

A second reason why we resist offering apologies is that the vulnerability and uncertainty is real. It involves interpersonal and group risk.

The most skilfully phrased, well-intentioned of apologies may not be received by a person who is dead set against you. They may double down. They may hit back. They may use your apology against you. They may get smug. They may still choose to remain hurt anyway.

You can’t control how they react. And that’s why sometimes we choose not to apologise. We want to retain some level of control over an uncontrollable situation.

So why learn to apologise?

There are many good reasons (personal growth, justice etc) but I am going to focus just on one overlooked reason.

A clear, sincere and timely apology is sometimes the only thing standing in the way of everyone’s capacity to move on.

Even when something happens between two people, it happens to a group of onlookers who relate themself to the situation because they sincerely care about it, and attach themselves to its closure for some reason.

If something happened that caused misunderstanding, confusion or hurt to you, you yourself need to make psychological and emotional meaning of it to find closure or resolution. Only with closure, can you move on.

You can make meaning and find closure on your own of course but there is the risk that meaning-making on your own can deepen the confusion, misunderstanding or hurt.

When Individuals are left alone to make their own meaning of what the heck happened they may choose to rewrite history in their minds in an even worse light. The risk of not apologising is this: What started small and inconsequential can metasize into something far more poisonous and lethal to the relationship. Trust can never be restored in the worst case scenario.

We engage in the challenging process of sincere apology not to preemptively and artificially close the work for ourselves.

We engage in it so that we can do the self-work of learning, maturing and growing. We engage in it also to help others through their own meaning-making. Meaning-making that is done together has more chance for accuracy and more chance for mutual moving on from the incident.

If you look at the history of families, communities or countries, you can see the high costs of a lack of clear, sincere and timely apologies for mistakes made in the past. The cost is in sheer accumulated hours of actual time, mental energy and emotional energy spent brooding and wondering about the meaning of the incident.

If you are efficiency driven as a leader, a strong case of making accurate apologies is that you save the system plenty of accumulated wasted man-hours of arguing, brooding, water cooler gossiping, Facebooking etc. Empathy is another pathway to efficiency. Sincere empathetic apologies can help people find closure faster and move on faster to do other important work vs dwelling on “he said/she said/ what about/you right I wrong etc”

Whenever people keep bringing up the past, it’s because something never closed for them.

There was no psychological or emotional closure. There is a unit of work that remains open, nagging in our psyche. There is some unfinished business still left to be done there.

When people ask for an apology or grieve for the lack of an apology, we must see it as a request to “help us move on”.

Apologies are not cheap currency. You don’t apologise for everything. You don’t apologise to artificially close off a painful situation. You don’t apologise insincerely.

You take pains to offer a true apology so everyone who is sincerely caring and involved in the situation (not the popcorn eaters and trolls) can move on and move forward into a stronger relationship with each other.

One Facebook post cannot get into the depths of apology as a skill. And I am a learner on the journey of authentic apology just as much as anyone.

If this has raised your interest in apology, do check out Dr Harriet Lerner’s research work into apology.

info1623 — 2020-07-04 09:50:52 UTC

Observing the last sunset of Syawal 1441H (22 June 2020). A tribute to an apology.

Music credit: The Story is Lost by The Caretaker
(Best to view on desktop)

info1623 — 2020-08-03 07:27:33 UTC

I am sorry

2021-06-02 10:38:37 UTC

I’m sorry i’m not who you want me to be.

Tidak ada keikhlasan

2021-06-03 03:27:24 UTC

When something is so mainstreamed, it has lost its purpose and meaning. How many people do you feel mean what they say when they lafazkan "maaf zahir batin". You don't even know what you are apologising for specifically, so it starts on the premise that one is already a sinner, or wrongdoer (but don't know what for) and should have a general attitude of remorse or regretfulness, or maybe humility? But is that really true?

Late nights

2021-06-07 11:53:45 UTC

I fear something that I dare not say.
The calm before the storm.
Before I begin, I apologize that this may not be comforting.

I’m sorry have since lost its meaning.
So how can I move forward when an apology is no longer an option.

I lived and accepted that it is what it is.
Thus I do not regret.

For so many nights I prayed,
I ask that I be forgiven.
Yet I feel no remorse.
So now I ask that my heart be soften again and that I start to feel instead of the numbness that has devoured it entirely. I pray to for heart to heal and all that it has broken; to be healed n lifted from darkness.

Then the night comes and once again I surrender.

Zahir Dan Batin

2021-06-07 15:22:28 UTC

First and foremost I want to seek forgiveness from everyone that I’ve hurt. Even if I did it knowingly or unknowingly.

I tend to be destructive to myself other others. There is no excuse for the things that I did but I hope you’ll forgive me so that I can learn to forgive myself.

To err is human

2021-06-09 08:44:49 UTC

From the bottom of my heart,
I am sorry for the wrongs I have done to everyone.
I am only human and humans do make mistakes
So please do forgive me

2021-06-14 16:55:07 UTC

2021-06-14 17:09:38 UTC

Maaf kan saya. I only see and feel darkness. I am trying my best to love me. I am trying my best to love you. There will be mistakes that I will make along the way. I am afraid to make fatal mistakes. I will learn to pick myself up and love another day of trying again and again. You will teach me more than I will ever know. I don’t want to do this again.

info1623 — 2023-04-22 04:57:55 UTC

Kepada anakku yang tersayang,

Mama rindu mendakapmu di dada. Mama rindu membawamu dalam rahim. Mama meminta maaf kerana tidak menjaga tanggungjawab ini dengan baik.

Mama masih mencari jalan untuk redha dengan dugaan ini. Mama rasa sedih sangat dan masih tidak tahu jika mama boleh melalui semua ini. Terima kasih sayang kerana bersama dengan mama. Mama dapat rasa kasih sayang dan In sha Allah impian keluaraga kami akan terjalin di akhir zaman nanti.

I'm sorry

2023-04-23 03:55:55 UTC

I think this is probably the deepest I have ever hurt someone, and I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. It's been five months and I can feel the wound starting to scab over but I know it will never heal for each of us. We will just have to find a way to live life around it. But I hope you find it in your heart to retain some affection for me, as I do you. In a way I know I will always love you. I hope you know this.

maafkan aku

2023-04-23 05:23:21 UTC

i have thought many times how to apologise, but it's hard. it's hard when you feel like you shouldn't be apologising. it's hard when you just want an apology back. but if i have to be the first to say it, then i'm sorry. i am sorry i couldn't be a better daughter. i am sorry i could not live up to who you wanted me to be. it sounds disingenuous but i really am so sorry. i wish we could be happier, together. i wish i could apologise a hundred times over for growing up. for even finding myself. i hope some day we can get along, and the pain isn't so fresh and it doesn't hurt so much. maafkan aku.

I’m sorry I cant make myself give you what you want. I think you want and need a level of validation and affection that I am unable to give. Maybe it’s also something you can give yourself. Some from you, some from me, some from other people who care and value you. I wonder what it was like for you, when you were young. I think back to when I was young and you were caring for me. I don’t remember much of it but I do know that there is an absence of lovely memories. You did all you could. But the bond you want with me was never there. I am so sorry I was unable to make it happen now the way you want. I know I could never say this to you.

2023-04-28 04:18:14 UTC

2024-04-24 01:36:53 UTC

I am sorry I can’t do more for you in my capacity. And have to withdraw. There is so much you are dealing with that you don’t deserve. But this relationship we have is not the kind where I can step over boundaries to help you. You wouldn’t want me to do that either. I don’t know - I am just sorry things are the way they are.

Your apologies will be shared to public via @p71sma instagram during the last sunset of Syawal 2026.

info1623 — 2025-04-21 07:15:16 UTC

2025-04-25 17:06:29 UTC

Maaf saya terlalu sombong, dan meninggalkan jejak kotor. Tabik

2025-04-25 23:17:58 UTC

I wish you well. After you left from this world, I teared up as our memories growing up together flashed past me. Strangers to lovers to strangers. It’s crazy that we can choose to love and forget. Please forgive me for hurting your feelings, and for not appreciating your love in its simplest form. In simple days, your smile was enough to make me feel loved. I made my life complicated, somehow I chose that path over you. Please forgive me. I hope that you had your time to love with all your heart, and that you’re safe in heaven.