Exe 628 Week 3: Listening is a skill by Judi Harris

Joe

rogersjz01 — 2020-09-26 18:22:18 UTC

My lowest score was in “preparing to listen”: I received 10 out of 15 points, which means that I’m not a terrible listener, but I have to make more of an effort to meet a person where they are.

“If you know that you won't be able to offer the other person your full attention – for example, if you're working on an urgent task – schedule a better time to speak. However, make sure that the other person knows that the conversation is important to you.”

I agree with this totally, but it’s easier said than done. A couple years ago, I had a senior who loved comic books and had a speech impediment. Every morning, he would come into my class room about 20 minutes before school started and tell me about a superhero he had created. He would tell me their names and I would guess their powers. It was a thing.

The problem: there is no good time in my schedule to fit those conversations in and give him my full attention. He knew that I would work as he talked: send emails, write the daily agenda on the board, get the room ready, etc., and he was okay with that. He would even follow me to the printer to help me make copies.

As a teacher, my schedule is full of planning, teaching, grading, and meetings. There is no time set aside for students to tell me about their own interests, weekend plans, hobbies, etc. Those conversations happen in class or in the hallways while we both should probably be doing something else--like our jobs as a student or a teacher. I couldn’t “reschedule” for a better time because there wasn’t one. But I could offer what I had, which was a conversation on-the-go. Sometimes, that’s the best that we can do.

Hasti

hastikhoshnammanesh — 2020-09-27 13:49:22 UTC

My score was 53 and I totally agree that I have good listening skills. I always considered myself a great listener because I put people at ease while talking to me and I am very caring and empathetic which makes other people open up with me easily. My lowest score was in Active Listening which I got 26 out of 35. I tend to daydream a lot and as a result, I become distracted by my own thoughts or opinions. I do this unintentionally and I sometimes become mad at myself for losing some information because I became distracted by my own thoughts or “daydreaming”.
The tip is very useful which says “It can be difficult not to formulate a response while the other person is talking. This is because we typically think much faster than other people can speak, so our brains are often ‘whirring away’ while they are talking. You'll need to concentrate hard to stay focused on the person who's speaking, and this can take a lot of effort.”
I also need to add that I don’t do this all the time and in every situation. It usually happens in everyday conversations with friends or colleagues. When it’s an important meeting or a learning environment, I am very focused and try not to miss any part of the conversation. Lastly, I need to add that I rarely interrupt other people, judge or criticize them. I am very understanding and respectful towards other opinions even if they are against my own beliefs or ideas.

Angie Miyano

angiemmiyano — 2020-09-28 00:46:18 UTC

The result showed that I have good listening skills. However, When I convert my points into percentages, the result is not that good. I believe that just like it is stated in the results, I can further develop my communication skills.

My lowest score was Active Listening (24/35) and after reading the whole report I agreed with most of the points raised. I sometimes get distracted in my own thoughts and I start formulating my own ideas and response while someone is still talking. I love and appreciate when someone plays the "devil's advocate". It challenges me to do some further thinking, but I need to try to identify that person's interpersonal style of communication and or personality before doing the same because it may "discourage them from opening up" or to continue sharing.

Although I know that there is a lot of room for me to grow, I also know it is impossible to be a great listener 100% of the time. If a parent catches me on my way to a meeting, for example, and, after explaining that I am busy and that I would love to schedule another time for us to meet, but the parent insists on talking while walking with me, there is no way I can be a great listener (according to the article/questions). Like Joe said "sometimes, that's the best that we can do". "Communication is a two way street".

Márcia Guedes

guedesmr01 — 2020-09-28 18:44:06 UTC

My score came out to be 52, and it said I am a good listener and that people are able to approach me when they need someone to listen. I agree with the results, but because I am somewhat shy, I may not always show people that they have that space to come and talk. I like helping and supporting people; therefore I feel good listening and I am not so much of a talker, I try my best not to talk about myself or to compare what someone is going through with what is happening in my own life.

Fabíola Michels

fabiola_freitas — 2020-09-28 20:14:45 UTC

My score was 45, and I was a little bit disappointed with that, because I thought I was a good listener, and according to the test my skills for that are ok. I do not agree with the results, because I am always open to listen to someone, and help, but checking the results, I realize that I should change some points. My lower score was in Active Listening. Sometimes I play the "play devil's advocate" while I am in a conversation, maybe I should let the person finish all he/ she wants to say about his/ her thoughts, so I do not interrupt or influence the person. I consider that knowing how to communicate well is not only related to orality, it is also the way that you can listen to others.

Cristina Wolff

wolffcristina955 — 2020-09-29 19:07:23 UTC

My result was 50 points and says that the person has good listening skills. For a long time I have been trying to improve listening because I think it is important to learn to listen to others and, as the text says, some people hear poorly what is being said and rarely hear the whole message. When I received the test result I was happy to know that I am walking in the desired direction. It is not easy to know how to listen to people, for me, listening until the end is an exercise that I practice daily. I believe I still have a long way to go to get where I want to be, a good listener. I do not agree with the tip that the test gives in proposing an appointment with the person when you cannot attend to them properly. That person who wants to talk to you may need to speak at that moment and tell them to come back later, or another day is not the best option. I understand that it is not always possible to listen to those who would like to, but in any case, it is a frustrating situation.

Allison Mae Hughes

allisonhughes4 — 2020-09-29 20:29:19 UTC

My result was also 50! I know that as I get busier, my stress goes up and I get distracted. I am guessing this is like a credit score in that it can flunctuate. Perhaps when you are in a good place and have more space for others, your score goes up and when you are in a tough place (for example- a pandemic) you might find that you are struggling to take care of others after attempting to care for yourself. I was not suprised to see I scored high on body language and active listening- I am a visual and kinestic learner so in- person is good for me. I was also not suprised that I was a little lower in terms of being distracted- I am a chronic mulitasker so it's always a good goal to have to be more focused and give people the attention they deserve.

Nayara Rodrigues

naygrodrigues — 2020-09-29 21:22:31 UTC

My score was 47. I agree with that but in parts. It says in the results that I need to pay special attention to the advice on 'empathic listening', but I can feel that I'm empathic, especially when I'm listening to others. I do my best to understand people and their points of view, without question, putting myself in the situation, and then I show my point of view, respecting the others. On the other hand, I can fear some silent moments when I'm listening and I distract easily from a conversation. Another point that I agree is that sometimes I don't use open body language, just because I fear conflicts and I prefer to feel safe and comfortable with myself. Well... I agree I need to improve my listening skills, and I'll do it! :)

Diego Considera

diegoconsidera — 2020-09-29 22:45:30 UTC

My score was 53. According to the survey, I am a good listener, however, this survey made me reflect on my behavior when I am in a dialogue. Although I strive to show interest in what is being said, I realize that I'm often thinking about what I will say while the person formulates his/her idea. I enjoy talking and exchanging experiences. Depending on who speaks to me, I just want to listen as I know I will benefit from the conversation by learning something new. However, in certain dialogues, I feel the need to share my experiences as well as they can complement or illustrate what is being discussed. Although I do not have the practice of interrupting people, I believe that I can become an even better listener reflecting what is being said and then, respond clearly and concisely.

Manuela Câmara

manuela_camara — 2020-09-30 01:24:14 UTC

My score was 48 and I agree with the result. I'm a better talker than I'm a listener. That is one of the reasons I've been training my listening skills lately. Specially with my spouse and child.

My guide book says in one of its verses: be quick to listen but slow to speak. I believe that is one of the exercises I need to practice everyday. I love sharing, talking, bonding and connecting to people. But, I tend to lead the conversation rather than just give room to the other person to lead it too.

Nevertheless, I'm fully present whenever I'm conversing to people. I look at them in their eyes, I ask clarifying questions, I rarely touch my phone or do anything else while having a conversation. That may be the reason why Preparing to Listen was the highest part of my score (12 out of 15).

Following that I scored 24 out of 35 in Active Listening. I believe that interrupting people may be one of my biggest flaws, specially when I'm excited with the conversation. I also tend to formulate the next thing I'm going to say even before the person finished her point.

Last, I scored 12 out of 20 for Empathic Listening. That one surprised me because I can easily connect to people's feelings. I'm the if-you-cry-I'm-gonna-cry kind of person.

I'll definitely apply all the tips given to improve my listening skills.

Rosana Guenka

rosananaomi — 2020-09-30 19:48:40 UTC

I am a 48, which is quite low for this crowd but I am not sure I can increase much (I think my first try was 45ish). I agree with Allison that the number changes depending on one's day.
I do play Devil's Advocate and I always try to help people finishing their sentences, especially with Brazilian students trying to speak in English.
I have an argumentative and questioning nature, so I constantly compare points of view as well.
My problem here is that I am not really trying to change that.
(I also never mark extremes in forms if I can remember 1 exception, so I can't improve my number much)

I liked the reflection that this form made me have, and I will be more aware of some topics.

Michelle Watkins

michellemwatkins — 2020-09-30 20:23:46 UTC

My score was a 53. I am also a therapist so listening is essential in this line of work that shares so many resemblances with what I do as a teacher. I have also done a course with a Buddhist Monk where she taught us their view on Empathetic Listening. Listener is 100% present, acknowledging speaker with eye contact and humming, nodding. Every now and again listener might reinforce with speaker if what is being said is actually being understood by repeating. Example, “Let me just check if I understood... “ I got a 17-20 on those questions. I feel that I play the devil’s advocate a lot. To provoke people to think in directions that they might have overlooked is one of the things I do best! However, if you are not sensitive to timing understand when to use this, it’s annoying and might not be too empathetic. Timing is the key for everything.

Débora Oliveira

2020-10-01 10:26:22 UTC

My score was 52. My results were not a surprise to me because I love to help and to really listen to people when they come talk to me. I'm not really good speaking but with listening I believe I'm.
I agree with all the points, that people feel they are able to approach you if they need someone to listen to them, and they trust that you'll give them your full attention and free space to speak.
There is always space to learn more and improve but I would never for sure help others with coaching or mentoring, I don't feel secure enough to perform this function in any area.

Camila Barros

2020-10-01 18:41:31 UTC

My score = 39: Your listening skills are OK, but there's definitely room for improvement.

Wow... definitely the lowest score here! I think it´s because I´m usually the talking person... hahaha

I agree with the result. There are a few things that I am already working on to be a better listener and some of them are: not interrupt people when they are talking (I do this a lot and I know, I´m already working in getting better), I also feel uncomfortable with silence, but I know this is a moment the person might need to reflect on the conversation and I have to respect it. Another thing that I do a lot is, when someone comes into my office, if I´m working on something I usually don´t stop and keep on switching my attention between the computer and the person - I know I need to improve on this, and I feel that I´ve been getting better. It´s funny how I know most of the areas I need improvement, but sometimes I just lose control and end up having the wrong position as a listener. I also have the positive side of an "OK" listener, as when people speak to me about sensitive subjects, I make an effort to put them at ease and when someone is speaking to me, I nod and say things like "OK" and "uh-huh" to show that I´m paying attention.

Reinhold Bezerra

reinholdbezerra — 2020-10-01 22:22:54 UTC

The note I got after taking the test was 33, which means that my listening skills are OK, there's definitely room for improvement. One of the biggest problems I have in staying focused during the conversation is thinking about the answers and what tone to use to answer each question. I fully agree with the result of my test and I believe I have to improve the listening part, and listen without interrupting others. My wife also says that sometimes I unconsciously select some things to listen to and end up ignoring others.

Ana Paula Serejo

2020-10-03 10:43:35 UTC

My score was 41. My listening skills are OK, but there's definitely room for improvement.

I agree with my result because sometimes interrupt the people talk before listening to the whole talking to put my reflections and ask for more clarifications about a discussion topic. And I frequently break the silence zone to add my comments.

And also, is I am in a talk and another person wants to talk to me I interrupt the first conversation to listen to the second talk just because it is hard for to me say “no I can talk to you after.”

I very often play "devil's advocate" to prompt responses from the other person because I want to listen to the other opinions about my ideas in the discussion topic.

Since when I was a kid when someone is speaking to me, I always nod and say things like "OK" and "uh-huh" occasionally. This belongs to my personality and sometimes when the speaker is talking they usually look that me because of my posture show agreement.

Blenda Batista

blenda_oliveira — 2020-10-03 14:12:34 UTC

Score: 48

This exercise showed me clearly some of the things I've already considered not doing anymore, such as "completing sentences" or interrupting, being the latter something Brazilians do repeatedly. I really liked seeing where I could improve and noticing that these things were under my radar, I simply wasn't aware of how they were hindering better interactions with my students, friends and peers. It was ear-opening. Haha!

My scores were high in Active listening, and being a meditator, taking silent retreats and using Non-violent communication helped tremendously in this field. I noticed I am able to feel less anxious in difficult conversations, differentiate thoughts and pre-conceptions, wait and not judge and see others with compassion, since they are trying their best to communicate something. I need to transpose these attitudes to my daily activities with students. This will connect us in the human level. I need to discard this image of a teacher being tough and imposing, this does not serve education anymore.

Meissa Vieira

vieiram01 — 2020-10-03 17:53:55 UTC

Score: 52

I believe that I do have good listening skills, but I know they are not great. I can and I want to improve them. My highest score was in “Active Listening” and I agree. I often try to show the person that I am really listening. I nod, I say “ok” and I change my expression depending on what the person is saying. I do my best to “read” the person so that I can truly understand what the person is trying to communicate.

My lowest score was in “Empathic Listening”. After reading it I understood why. I don’t ask many open questions to help the person articulate, instead I usually put my own words. This is something that I have been trying to be more conscious about so that I can improve. Instead of waiting for the person to finish, I say something to check if I’m understanding or to agree with something that the person said, thinking that I am participating, but I'm actually interrupting the person and being disrespectful.

I really enjoyed this reflection and I will do my best to be a better listener :)

Rislene Silva

rislene_silva — 2020-10-03 19:58:34 UTC

My score was 45. It says my listening skills are OK, but there's definitely room for improvement.

I really agree I need to work on my listening skills, but on the other hand I think I am good at listen empathically and the result did not show that.

During a conversation I try to give feedback and ask questions, but when the other person does not want to listen I just stop. I also interutp when people are talking and I am working on it for a long time, because some people told me it is rude and I agree.

Also, I want to be more open to healthy discussion. For me, it is very important to see different points of view to have my own opinion, but sometimes I am not very open when people disagree with me. I have to work on it to be a better listener.

I really liked the survey and I will try to work on the topics it mentioned.

Viviane Oliveira

oliveivc01 — 2020-10-04 20:30:29 UTC

My score on the test was 47. I guess we always have room for improvements. I agree with the result but I always thought I was an empathetic person as people like to talk to me when they want to be listened or even to share their feelings and ask me what I would do if I was in that situation they are facing. Even not being classified as an Emphatic listener, people approach me very constant. And due to that I usually joke that I've chosen the wrong course and that I should have chosen psychology.
My lowest score was in Active listening. The tip for improving it states that we usually think faster than the person speaking. I guess I also think I'm able to do other things while I'm listening. I usually nod or use expressions to show the person I'm listening and at times I will stop and look at the person. But depending on the topic I can give the person my full attention. But there are certain times in which the person would like to talk at that very exactly moment and when I can't stop what I'm doing, I will tell that to person and explain that I'm listening or I even ask the person to walk with me while I'm doing other things. And as this happens in a certain frequency I agree that this is the point that I need to improve more.

Bárbara Vidal

barbaramadureira — 2020-10-04 21:29:07 UTC

Score: 52

According to the results, I have good listening skills and I agree, but I can definitely improve them! I remember, since I was really young, being someone people would often choose to talk to about their feelings, situations, problems. And I have always been comfortable and happy with listening!

But the quiz was a good eye-opener about how much I can still develop, especially regarding my active listening. I need to be more mindful and conscious about paying full attention to what the person is saying and not getting distracted or losing myself in my own thoughts. Also, I am aware that my memory is not the best one, and the thought of possibly forgetting what I want to say can make me anxious. But that is not an excuse to interrupt the person, as I find myself doing sometimes!

I enjoyed the reflection and really hope to be able to change and improve my listening skills - for the sake of everyone who will still kindly choose me to hear them! :)

Paulo Silva

paulosilva18 — 2020-10-04 23:53:48 UTC

Score: 49

According to the test results, my listening skills are OK, but there's definitely room for improvement.

I believe this is an accurate snapshot of my listening skills. I am aware that sometimes I drift off as people are talking, especially if I am worried about something in a personal or professional level. I have also come to realize that my listening is better with children than adults. Instinctively I seem to have a greater deal of patience when it comes to listening to the young ones. And I know that needs changing because I need to communicate better with the adults I work with.

These reflections are always important for educators, because it helps us move away from the comfort zone and apply meaningful changes to our practice.

Raquel Melito

melitorg01 — 2020-10-05 00:10:08 UTC

My score was 54. I also consider myself a good listener and my friends often tell me that. . The hardest part of being a good listener is paying attention to the details. I am very clear about my intentions when talking so I will rarely say something that means something else. Reading body language and perceiving the real intention when talking to someone is pretty challenging for me as I rarely do that. I also believe that this test would vary a lot if we consider who we are talking to. Our audience definitely shapes our communication style as our predisposition to listen fully to someone can vary a lot. Even when I was taking the test I didn’t picture myself talking to my friends, instead, I thought of someone that I would probably feel very lazy and disconnected from.

Tatiany Carvalho

tatianyunb — 2020-10-05 00:42:27 UTC

My score was 41. It says that my listening skills are okay, but I need to improve it. I agree with that. I realized that if I'm not 100% paying attention to someone, I can easily be distracted by anything. Even when I'm on my own, reading quietly, if I don't read out loud I get distracted and lose the context of the text or book. A lot of things I need to read twice to understand, but at the same time, If I have my full attention in someone's speech, I'll remember everything for a long time. Well, I try to push myself to be focused to listen to the others and also have a good dialogue through what was said.

Solan Ravy

solanmagalhaes — 2020-10-05 02:18:36 UTC

My score was 60. According to the results, I have good listening skills. During my under graduation in Psychology, we had several classes about listening, and the therapeutics of it. Of course, it is another sort of listening, but the skills of a good listener are essential for a good psychologist as well. While listening, paying attention to the person who is speaking to you is key, but what unlocks the door is being able to avoid jumping to conclusions or forcing them to the interlocutor. It is a hard skill to develop, but it really makes an impact while listening.

Michelle Ray

michellerayteacher — 2020-10-05 12:52:48 UTC

My score was a 50 and I agree. It says that I am a good listener and that people feel comfortable approaching me. I agree with this because have found even strangers talking to me about their lives and problems that they are facing. As a kid, I was always the quiet one but I was someone that my friends could count on for support. I think that I am very open to discussions of various topics and opinions so that puts people at ease when talking to me. I am also very conscious when non-native speakers of English talk to me and I never try to jump in and help them with vocabulary. I just let them talk and try to make them feel at ease.

Reinaldo Vivanco

reinaldovivanco1 — 2020-11-07 13:10:16 UTC

My score was 51! I always knew I was a good listener. I like to be available to people who are close to me, both in my personal life and at work. I like to give them my full attention, and that goes for my students too. Whenever possible, I like to allow them to talk about their emotions and conclusions.

Having good listening skills, I not only hear what is being said, but also the entire message. In that way, I think I allow others to express themselves fully.