I’m so tired... tired of feeling like I’m never enough, tired of living like this, tired of carrying everything alone...

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My mind feels like a mess, and I can’t think straight. Everything just keeps piling up, and I feel like I’m barely holding on... The lack of sleep, the stress, and now this surgery in March... I don’t even know if I’ll make it. I was so angry when my parents told me—I just want to focus on SNBT, on my future... but now it feels like I don’t even have one... My brain just shut down.

And the part that hit me the most is When Mba Ayu gave me those math problems... and i didnt got any sleep, I just stared at them... I couldn’t answer a single one... Not even one... That moment broke me... It made me feel like I’m nothing... like I’m completely useless, thats why i said that to you.

And I know I hurt you when I ghosted you. I didn’t mean to... I just didn’t know what to do... I don’t know how to handle myself anymore... I needed to step back and figure things out... but the truth is, I don’t even know what I was thinking... I feel so lost... confused... overwhelmed... And I know that’s not an excuse... but I just need you to know it was never about you. It was always about me...

I hate that I pushed you away, I hate that I made you feel like you weren’t enough, when the truth is, I’m the one who’s not good enough... I still care about you, I just... don’t know what to do anymore...

I’m so tired, I feel so numb, And I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending I’m okay...

I’m sorry... for asking to break up... for making you feel like you didn’t matter... for not explaining anything sooner... I never wanted to hurt you... I just got lost in my own thoughts, and I let them take over...

I don’t expect you to forgive me... I just wanted you to know the truth.

im sorry...