• Can you think of daily stresses for our children? Keeping up with social media, looking good, homework, being liked, money, worrying about arguments, or parents separating, food, pleasing parents, not having freedom and lack of choice.

  
  

  'We tend to recognise Major stresses more.'

  We show we care by sending flowers, visiting, checking if your okay, getting supportive social media messages.

  
  

  If we pay more attention to daily stresses it can help stop them from becoming something bigger, something that may become blown out of proportion or harder to resolve. Then these daily stresses build up and we can not always able to get to the route of the problem.

Scroll down to find out more...

Make sure you deal with stress first before having important conversations.

 We will look at the importance of keeping conversation going and ways to communicate in the following sections

https://vimeo.com/649555721

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzcAP7fQoLU

Can you identify anything you want to remember for future when talking to your child.

Reasons why you may not be able to stay calm:

1. You struggle with being in the wrong. Why is this?

2. Undiagnosed health issue. Low dopamine levels, often seen in ADD/ADHD, can lead to a drive for excitement and conflict, making it harder to be calm.

3. Feeling blamed or criticised. Can you tell someone how you feel?

4. Stressed

Are you feeling more of one then another?

How many times do you feel this way?

listen below to find out more

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zfn7vk7

This can also happen when we've had a disagreement with someone who isn't around—maybe they're at school or work. We start imagining how the conversation might go when we see them again, rehearsing lines in our heads like, “If they say this, then I’ll say that…”

These habits can be unhelpful. They often stop us from truly listening in the moment and can drain our energy—especially when the conversation doesn’t go the way we imagined

• Provides helpful tips on how to cope with parents’ divorce/separation:

• https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/home-families/family-relationships/divorce-separation/

  
  

  Young minds

• Provides tips on managing changes like divorce or separation.

• https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/coping-with-life/family/

  
  

  KOOTH

  Website link: https://www.kooth.com/

• A safe, free, and anonymous online support for young people

  
  

Often you can react to things differently when your stressed about something. It is important you stop and understand, What else is going on for them?

Ravi and Amrita are both worried about money, you first see a heated argument that does not get resolved, then we watch how they do things differently, to resolve the argument, by listening to, what's really going on for each other?

It is important to not be defensive, stop breath and respond by clarifying what you have heard. Check your thoughts are real.

If you heard one of the examples above, how could you respond to the speaker to tell them what you heard and check what they mean?

https://vimeo.com/649556829

Links to other videos o https://vimeo.com/opovimeo

Click here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-kUKyfu0as&t=13s

Accepting that we are all different can be challenging as deep down we truly believe the way we do things is best.

We need to be able to talk about our sensory needs understand and embrace those differences. It can be the first step toward feeling better.

Sensory differences can have a major impact on relationships, influencing social interaction, intimacy, and overall satisfaction.

Vestibular (Balance): This sense helps us maintain balance and spatial orientation, allowing us to know our body's position in relation to gravity.
Proprioception (Body Awareness): This sense provides information about the position and movement of our body parts, even without looking.
Interoception (Internal Body Awareness): This sense allows us to perceive internal sensations like hunger, thirst, pain, the need to use the toilet, and changes in heart rate or body temperature

Can you think of any more?

Personal ,work or parenting goals, Morals and values, Our fears

What differences can you accept, and where might compromise be needed?

Take a look at this video on the better health website. (Scroll down to reframing thoughts video) Click here

What do you do well?

What could you do better?

They use some important skills to help things go better: – STOP: Stay calm

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzTQ4QIgyok

Notice how we cant always remove the nail and often we do not want to. Using the skill of emotional support may not solve the problem but it makes us feel happier and strengthens our relationship and understanding about each other. Once people feel safe that you will be there emotionally for them it is easier to accept or ask for the practical support you need, as this is important to have too.

If you recognise any of these signs this padlet may not help and you must contact your local domestic about service or talk to someone in our Family Hubs.

Watch this video about coercive control.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmbTqFH4x0w

It is important to remember if supporting any person or yourself to change it will take time, understanding and often accessing support groups or the GP.

Remember pointing out the problem over and over or trying to tell them what to do, could make the situation worse. Sitting with that person to understand the underlying stress can start help.

For the science behind stress and the effect it has on our brain listen to this Tedtalk.. click here

When we interact with others their words and behaviour will make us think and feel things that will trigger by our past or present experiences.

For example, we may see a person looking repeatedly at their mobile phone when we are spending time together. If you have had past experiences with this or have feelings of being ‘taken for granted or ignored’, then this behaviour may cause you to become angry, criticise, become defensive or ignore that person. These underlying feelings and behaviours can result in a negative cycle, if you do not address the issue.

Try and get into the habit of thinking about how someone's behaviour or communication makes you feel, being honest about that feeling and then explaining why you have reacted in the way you have at the time. You can apply this process to any issue you have with anyone. This is about explaining how you feel. This will begin the process of resolving the conflict, by allowing each of you to see the other’s perspective

Click here to find out more

Simplify your parenting schedule, make audio and video calls, share expenses, make payments, and maintain secure text communication with the#1 Co‑Parenting App recommended by courts and family law professionals in all 50 states.

This free toolkit is here to help you make co-parenting from separate homes work smoothly, whether you’re just beginning or looking to find a better balance together.

Click link to download the tool kit

Complete form and someone can call to let you know more

https://form.northumberland.gov.uk/form/auto/family_hub_req

Online learning: free courses and resources for all Northumberland, Newcastle and Durham families. Plus, specialist emotional and mental health learning for teenagers.

Click here or go to inourplace.co.uk.

More support Northumberland - https://www.northumberland.gov.uk/public-protection/domestic-abuse

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety/talking-child-online-safety/?sfnsn=scwspmo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIrxZv1dW_A

Relationships can be confusing and difficult at times. This week we're chatting to Hermione Chantal about how to have as healthy and positive a relationship as possible.

Click here for childline website

'Don't always listen to social media'

'Consent'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0lMUVUkkcY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47ficaYb2wk

https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/friends-relationships-sex/sex-relationships/healthy-unhealthy-relationships/

Divorce from the child’s perspective. Years later.

We’re a legal service helping couples navigate the legal, financial and emotional parts of separation and divorce. Our aim is to help people end relationships in a kinder and better way.

As part of our mission, our new film gives the children of divorce a voice. They share how divorce has impacted them throughout their lives and the advice they wish their parents had received…

Even the happiest couples have negative moments. We snap and criticise. We shout and blame.

Relationship experts tell us that for every one negative moment, you need five positive moments

So, for each time you have one negative moment:

• Criticising

• Trying to win

• Blaming

• Name-calling

• Sneering

• Sarcasm

• Shouting

• Being defensive

• Talking over each other

You need to have five positive moments:

• Laughing together

• Supporting each other

• Showing interest

Do you say more positive things or do you focus on the negative?

Listen below..

Using the skills you have learnt not only makes you stronger and happier, you also become role model for everyone around you, friends, children and family.

Watch this video to represent when one person changes everyone does https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AQOxfPeKvY

Read the stages in the picture above.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself now:

• where do you think you are at the moment?

• where would your partner or child say you are at the moment?

• what would you have to do to get to the next stage?

Identify any unhelpful communication habits you'd like to change...

Think about other helpful ways to communicate to resolve arguments better?

• Say sorry for unhelpful behaviour

• Remember the good times

• Ask what else is going on?

• Do something nice together

• Make sure children are not in the house

• Use I statement (find out more in next section)

Explain what's happening in relationships, ask questions, and our chatbot will share advice and support.

This chatbot was created using AI, and isn't monitored by any staff from Relate. It shouldn't be used in a crisis, so if you are in immediate danger please always call 999.

Click here to find out more https://www.relate.org.uk/reducing-parental-conflict/sounding-board-bot/response?sid=319074&token=hYu2fRXKnTgT2LWw_gBqz1b4EfCWqF8g1wjTmz3T28E

Online learning: free courses and resources for all Northumberland, Gateshead and Durham families. Plus, specialist emotional and mental health learning for teenagers.

Click here or go to inourplace.co.uk.

Practitioners should only use the RIC when they have completed appropriate training and should also attend regular refresher training. Please contact Lucy.smith@northumberland.gov.uk for more info or for any queries.

Provides information for about what might happen when your family goes to court and who can help you:

https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/children-and-young-people/my-parents-live-apart-and-cant-agree-arrangements-me

This course is for parents while still in a relationship but can be completed with separated co-parents if they are able to manage attending together. 

The programme runs over 7 sessions of 1 to 1.5 hours each and focuses on the co-parenting relationship, including:

Talk to one of our experiences Family Hub team and go through the content of this padlet together.

Having good relationships is having; better health, happiness and confidence.

• when watching the mother mouse, it is important to remember it is not just mothers who can provide this care and nurture, children just need a positive, caring and consistent role model.

• Also that brain connections can repair and must focus on learning healthy coping and self help skills to increase happy ness and reduce stress

print and cut out.. Match which is healthy, unhealthy or abusive feeling or behaviour.

Unhealthy can easily turn into abusive if the other person always feels under pressure to change their behaviour or they happen all the time. Make sure you talk to someone if your unsure if you are in a unhealthy or abusive relationship.

One common mistake we do is try and show love to people the way we want to be loved. This can be for our children or adults around us.

For example... Making tea may be our love language to the other person but the other person is happy sharing the responsibility of tea and just would rather physical hug and a verbal compliment.

Ask yourself what do I really need and what does the other person need? What can we do differently together?

Find your local provider contact details. Click the logos at bottom of the page

Wheel Gallery - Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs

To find the library of wheels which include resources in different languages and focussing on different dynamics and types of domestic abuse

• Identifying and exploring domestic abuse with those who harm

• Change Star training

Both courses can be booked via Learning Together. Please contact Lucy.smith@northumberland.gov.uk if you have any queries

If you have any queries about the Domestic Abuse training and other courses available please contact Lucy.smith@northumberland.gov.uk