https://padlet.com/26ltelesca/n0npmvlecogp Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 15:53:19 UTC 2025-11-13 12:06:40 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f435.png 26cfynes https://padlet.com/26ltelesca/n0npmvlecogp/wish/420831353 I loved how you made the crash scene more intense and added more detail to it.  I could picture it in my head the whole time!  I think that you did an amazing job with fixing the crash part.  I liked how you made edits to when he met his family and how you took my suggestions and made the edits that I suggested. I also liked how you wrapped up your story by saying that he felt like a millionaire.  I think that maybe you could have done a better job by making the crash a little more realistic because some of the stuff that happened probably wouldn't happen in real life.]]> 2019-12-06 16:08:15 UTC https://padlet.com/26ltelesca/n0npmvlecogp/wish/420831353 26shunter https://padlet.com/26ltelesca/n0npmvlecogp/wish/422386219 I like how you made your story to the point where I can picture what is happening in it, that helps the reader understand more about what there reading about keep it up! Something else that stood out to me was the fact that your story is filled with a lot of action, and that's what I like about your story and it has a lot of things in common with me, and what I like. For example Madden 20 is one of me favorite games “overall great story Liam”.  Maybe something that I can suggest you can work is careful how you use “...” because the reader might not understand what you mean just a suggestion.]]> 2019-12-10 19:32:04 UTC https://padlet.com/26ltelesca/n0npmvlecogp/wish/422386219 26jleske https://padlet.com/26ltelesca/n0npmvlecogp/wish/422389356 I like this simile:"It was as shiny as the sun and clean like new sneakers." I also like the description in most of the story. One thing I think you could do better on was describing your beginning.]]> 2019-12-10 19:36:41 UTC https://padlet.com/26ltelesca/n0npmvlecogp/wish/422389356 26fnanton https://padlet.com/26ltelesca/n0npmvlecogp/wish/422530785 The strength of your narrative Family or Nothing is that you can become something by showing your true colors to others no matter what the scenario is. Don’t listen to what others think of you, they don’t really you so you believe in yourself because what others think of you should just be some determination for you. Only you can start the trail and you must pave your way through as time goes on. In addition to the first Star is, How you made a big scene when all of his his family died in the car crash how the massive events helped him become more confident and appreciate what he really has. Readers should know that you should always treat your friends and family members as if you will never ever see them again in your life time because any time could be the last time. However, a suggestion I have is that you tell the readers what happened to his Aunt and Uncle and why not the grandparents wouldn't they have taken care of him instead of abandoning him. 

]]> 2019-12-11 02:14:37 UTC https://padlet.com/26ltelesca/n0npmvlecogp/wish/422530785