ARTICLE DRAFT 3RD G by JULIO PABLO AYESTA VELASQUEZ

Article

72654967 — 2020-12-09 17:02:34 UTC

Article by Malena A.I.

71455574 — 2020-12-09 17:11:40 UTC

Article by: Lucia R.S

60777646 — 2020-12-09 17:18:34 UTC

Article by Joselin A.G.

joselinaguilar — 2020-12-09 17:58:42 UTC

Article by Laura FL

2020-12-09 18:27:47 UTC

Article by: Alexia S.

72543503 — 2020-12-09 18:59:41 UTC

Article by Andrew D.B

75599642 — 2020-12-09 19:10:35 UTC

Article by Almendra Roña

72728715 — 2020-12-09 19:59:53 UTC

Article by Pascual Z.D

75228993 — 2020-12-09 21:18:53 UTC

article by jose M.S

62342219 — 2020-12-09 22:00:02 UTC

Article by Anahi M.C.

2020-12-09 22:01:42 UTC

75719007 — 2020-12-09 23:17:13 UTC

Article by Matias M.A.

Article by Karla R. G.

karlaramirezgodoy — 2020-12-11 03:14:08 UTC

2020-12-12 17:19:18 UTC

Article by Angel G.C.G.

Article by Evelyn N.L.

74392695 — 2020-12-13 19:10:40 UTC

Article by María Fernanda Jamanca

2020-12-14 03:33:37 UTC

Article by Aída C. V.

72312951 — 2020-12-15 00:10:29 UTC

Hi Andrew!

74031757 — 2020-12-15 19:32:46 UTC

I liked your article but you can improve some aspects respect to the format, content and vocabulary. In the case of the format, you could expand the introduction and its content, remember that it's the most important part, because you have to capture the reader's attention. Respect to the vocabulary, I found three mistakes:
- The pandemics of the past (The past pandemics).
- Pandemics in the past have had (only had).
- And you repeated twice "Instead of".
Be careful
Well, that's all :D

People and their behavior after the Black Death by Malena A.I

74368723 — 2020-12-15 19:51:10 UTC

Hello Malena, after reading your article I found it very interesting and informative because it highlights the important events that occurred at the time of the Black Death. The title shows the topic you are going to address, the introduction is clear and captures the interest of the article, regarding the body, your arguments have relevant ideas accompanied by examples and mention the behaviors of people due to the Black Death. However, I consider that recognizing and evidencing the sources is important to validate your arguments, it is also important to cite them instead of mentioning them to convey reliable information in such a way that textual or statistical citations are used. You can even add images to better capture what is being talked about and use connectors from the past. Finally, the conclusion is good because they mention the message that the past diseases brought and how to improve it in the future. I enjoyed reading your article, bye :D

Hi classmate Jose!

74709095 — 2020-12-15 19:56:18 UTC

In my case, I really liked your article but I suggest that your title be more striking in terms of the introduction, main paragraph and conclusion, it hooks me since it shows information of great importance so it was good since you mentioned that there are behaviors as a result of the pandemics and about the attitudes that change in people, also about the advance in vaccines.

In terms of vocabulary, I suggest you try using phrases and words like: Nevertheless, Although and On the other hand. Well and I'm sure the sources you used are reliable, so in conclusion, you did a great job, but this can be much better : '' 3

Hi Evelyn!

72356279 — 2020-12-15 20:05:49 UTC

I really liked your article, especially that you included relevant aspects and your concise ideas, you could improve the order a little more to make it more understandable, how to start from one idea to another, so that they are not combined, your examples made it much more entertaining , I loved your conclusion as you managed to sum up all your ideas.
Could you pay a little more attention to the introduction and draw more attention to the reader with a sentence, in terms of vocabulary, I would like you to change the connectors for one that suits better and avoid redundancy. , for example:
- When he used the "on the other hand", the "although" was no longer necessary.
Well, in general I really liked your work.

HI Evelyn N.L.!

73594447 — 2020-12-15 22:39:02 UTC

I liked your article, however you can improve in some things in the format, content and vocabulary of the article.

In the introduction you could talk more about the topic that is the change in people's behavior and in the content specify what those changes were. And include reliable sources in the information such as diaries and research.

Also, be very careful in the vocabulary for example in this paragraph:
"although their behaviors changed it was affected, they managed to cope with staying home."

You can improve it by changing some words to make it more clear and understandable and you can achieve what you want, for example:
Although people's behavior was affected, they managed to comply with the measure of staying home.

But in the rest your article was very interesting :)

Commentary - article by Anahi M. C.

72656629 — 2020-12-15 23:31:10 UTC

Hi Anahi!

Your article really seemed very interesting and good to me, I will only give you some suggestions.
Regarding the format, I recommend that for the next one you respect the limit number of words (120 as a minimum to 180 as a maximum) and I think it could be improved if some ideas are not redundant.
The content is fine, but as I said, try to summarize some words or ideas, so that there is no redundancy.
In relation to vocabulary, you have a very good one, just try not to confuse the writing of some words, for example, in the development part, you wrote "Only" and it goes without a capital letter.
I really consider that your article is good, just try to take into account what I told you, you can, you have done well, only now to practice more.

HI LESLY C.F.!

70490207 — 2020-12-15 23:44:54 UTC

Your article is very interesting, the title matches the content, the introduction is, in the body I think you should squeeze a little more and put the causes of this problem, in the body of the content you could change the words you start with as per example "on the other hand" by "however" or "on the other hand", add some concepts of how we should get used to living with these diseases, how it helps us to evolve and develop as a society, where should we stay in these situations, you must To be more specific in some concepts, you should go straight to the point and finally in the conclusion I should add a couple of other things, such as the change in attitude of the people in this pandemic.
Some recommendations for other topics that you could address:
. The change of people in this pandemic
. Pandemics in the past
.How did people overcome previous pandemics?

Hi María Fernanda

74701140 — 2020-12-16 03:26:17 UTC

Well, I found your article very interesting and well prepared. However, there are some small mistakes. Therefore, I will give you some suggestions that will be of great use to you.

Looking at the format, I recommend that for the next one you take into account the word limit (this time it was from a minimum of 120 to a maximum of 180, and you exceeded that parameter). I believe that if you put the necessary and important ideas, and avoid redundancy, you can improve your product.

Regarding the content, I see that it is fine. The information you provide is very interesting and makes it easy to understand. It's well done. Always keep in mind that you should avoid putting ideas that are too many.

Regarding vocabulary, I see that you used the words very well. They are related to the central theme. The words are very consistent with everything.

Personally, I consider that your article is well done, just try to take into account what I told you. You are on the right track, I know you can improve and do it perfectly.

74690774 — 2020-12-16 05:26:10 UTC

Hi Maria Fernanda Jamanca

76132606 — 2020-12-16 13:59:34 UTC

Your blog has a very interesting topic to discuss, you formulate your thesis very well.
I see if you have considered any of the elements listed in class time as a key to your blog entry. But the pros and cons are not very well raised, one of my recommendations is that you ask some questions at the beginning so that there is a clearer idea of what your blog is going to deal with and so there is more attention from the reader.
I have also been able to apprehend that you have exceeded the number of words in this opportunity was from 120 to 180 to avoid that we have to have the subject clearer and avoid talking about the same thing at all times.
Adding captions to your blog can give you better organization and better understanding.
But I think you are on the right track, go ahead you can !!

Hello Lesly Castillo

60763224 — 2020-12-16 20:53:27 UTC

First of all, the delivery of your work on time is congratulated.

Well starting, I want to tell you that the structure that was planted is correct since it contains: title, author, introduction, main body, conclusion.

Your title caught my attention, which is good, because it makes a good impression on the reader.

The topic was adapted to the introduction, however, I think there is a bit of impact on the reader, but it would improve it if you gave an example of a quote with a series of deaths or infections from past pandemics.

In the three development paragraphs you were able to put the contrast connectors, and you described the information to your opinion, but I think I need more quotes to reinforce your ideas because you can only read one, think about including more quotes.

The conclusion served its purpose as it summarized all of the above, and I accompany it with a reflection of my own.

To finish, I consider that you did a good job, just increase the citations to give the reader truth and impact.

Hello Lucia R.S.

74734862 — 2020-12-17 02:40:48 UTC

I really like your blog and y think thads interesting,a good titile and an informatión concise.

The estructure of text is soo good, respect the format and this a fine redación , but i can say the informatión not arrives the complete the tittle,in especial in a conclución.

About the redación and
spellings i considere good for the a good follow os spellings rules and simple past added used the words of simple vocabulary and the easy comprención,

Article by Marcos G C.

60848783 — 2020-12-17 13:44:35 UTC

Article by: Andrea Flores

75700660 — 2020-12-18 04:52:45 UTC

Hi Karla Ramirez Godoy :)

61833211 — 2020-12-18 11:14:12 UTC

I really liked your article.
What attracted me most was that you wrote about what I assume is your district, Ate.
You followed the structure correctly, at least in my opinion.

What would improve your article, would be that you can sort a little the order of your ideas and keep in mind what your topic is.

Hi Marcos Guerra ;)

2020-12-18 18:02:21 UTC

First I want to congratulate you for the work done and the effort put into it.

I have noticed that you respected the structure of an article very well, because it has a title, main body and conclusion.

The title "Consequences of the pandemic" is not the appropriate one, because your text talks more about the relationship with man and his evolution, in addition that title covers only one pandemic, and when naming many it confuses which one you mean by not referring to all those who have lived. Besides that it is a very common title for a very valuable article.

What you mention in the introduction of your article seems very striking to me, because you do not focus only on what has happened today but also lend a camera to times gone by, a point that any reader loves, they love comparisons. The causes shown are also strong, because those words add truth and firmness to your article, stop being doubtful.

Moving on to the body, in the first lines you already mention the repercussions on society, although briefly, then you continue with the purpose of the introduction, you expand the idea of lending a camera to the past; What I can suggest is that if you mention some facts, add citations and secondary sources of information to tertiary ones, they will give it strength. The part on the lines "however in this time people have realized that with good hygiene we can avoid contagion." You tell us that it was already known that hygiene would deal with the plague, but what assures us? What did they do already knowing?
Finishing the body, you added the advantages of these, which I think is great, so we not only see it as tragedies but also opportunities in which humanity drastically improved.

At the end of your article we came across the one, which suited you very well, it fulfilled its purpose, as it summarized everything described above, ensuring it with two faces of what happened.

From my opinion, it seems to me that your article has more, right now it is already very well structured and elaborated but it seems to me that the quotes and specifications will solve doubts in the same readers and it will be more recommended, as well as better seen.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Hello José Morote :') I want to tell you that your article is very interesting and you can understand very well what you wanted to communicate. Just a tip, use the connectors well, such as the "but" connector in the second paragraph of your article. Finalizing congratulations for the good use of words.

75309596 — 2020-12-19 00:25:13 UTC

Article by Daniela Uzuriaga

2020-12-19 04:10:58 UTC

by Daniela Uzuriaga, Hi Joselin Aguilar

2020-12-19 05:09:38 UTC

First, congratulations on your work, it is very well developed

The title is good since it covers your topic and lets you see a preview of the developed text, it also draws attention for treating an important topic in the past.

As for the body, I see the ideas but they are intertwined and they are not fully understood but they are interesting, I recommend separating the topics into different paragraphs so that the text can be seen to be firm, on the other hand, the mention of different reliable specialists makes your text trustworthy.

The conclusion explains the topic well, but you need to paraphrase your opinion and the general opinion so that the paragraph resembles a conclusion that should be small, an additional topic is presented as a recommendation to put it as part of the body to improve the presentation. Apart from that, the text is well explained and with appropriate verbs, all that remains is to improve the structure.
Congratulations.

Hi JHERALD SANFIR CALDAS TACUCHI.

2020-12-21 03:57:24 UTC

The clear location of the analysis of man's attitudes to infectious-contagious disease and, therefore, to life, as a starting point for understanding history, has been precisely described by Professor Diego Gracia, who considers that “ Faced with infectious disease, there is room for a multitude of different individual attitudes, perhaps as many as men. But being individually diverse, these attitudes can be, and are in fact, socially and historically homogeneous, so that they can be grouped around a few fundamental attitudes or historical attitudes ”.

Because of this, what are these attitudes? Two of the most important approaches to its interpretation have been in our field. The first has a more general character and corresponds to Pedro Laín Entralgo. The master of medical historiography and author of La Esperanza y la Esperanza summarizes the possible cardinal attitudes of man in the face of illness to three: fright, resignation and lucid and meditative rebellion.

Nevertheless, each one is succinctly described in the following terms: “The most elemental and primitive attitude is fright, and it corresponds, in reaction, to flight. The primary terror imposed by the spectacle and the threat that terror carries with it moves man in an unmistakable way to flight .

Although, the thoughtless terror of the flesh is opposed by the humble resignation of the spirit that in one way or another has managed to detach itself from the earth. The disease, mysterious and frightening creature of God, must be submissively received by man, spiritually accepted.

On the other hand, man is not only frightening flesh, nor only spirit detached from the earth; It is spiritual, thinking and spirited flesh. What can and should then be the most fully human attitude towards one's own illness and that of others? Only one: reflective and resigned nonconformity.

instead of, Primary fright turns into a desire to overcome the morbid imperfection of nature, and blind resignation becomes lucid resignation, serene acceptance of the limit to which the effort of rebellion against disease reaches each situation

To sum up, the main measures adopted were those recommended by health authorities, since people know with certainty that the state seeks to protect them, but even so there is a percentage of the population that thinks that pandemics will not affect much

Hi Laura FL

71474430 — 2020-12-21 16:16:16 UTC

I read your work and was very interesting that you include the black death because was very devastating, I love your vocabulary because was so innovative, also your vocabulary was so much suitable, the headline was short and I would have liked it longer but the point is going straight to the point, well I consider your like an interesting article, I don't realize the behavior, so I think that the most important or something important in the work is the behavior after the pandemics, but I consider as a good work because have a good topic, a good introduction, and a good conclusion, so I liked so much, well I don't saw the sources and It's something to you need to put and in conclusión all your work was good, and maybe there is something to change or to get better, I wish you success in your next jobs, bye.