10 Qualities and Reminders for the Singaporean Muslim Mother by Waheedah Cares https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders Made with whimsy en-us 2018-04-22 02:53:14 UTC 2025-12-18 16:55:34 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-uploads.storage.googleapis.com/128526416/4c94a082354cebecb1eb1b9d81344ce5/MQ_logo_hijab.jpg Assalamu'alaikum ladies, looking forward to a fruitful session later. This PADLET will be used during the programme, if you are uncomfortable to ask questions you can post your questions here. Inshallah we will ensure all your questions will be answered. waheedah https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254097152 All POSTS will be anonymous. ]]> 2018-04-22 02:58:33 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254097152 To start things off Ustazah Shameem and myself would love to hear from you ladies, have you been feeling that you are failing at this motherhood business? Share with us how you have been FEELING. waheedah https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254097476 Your SHARING will be a VALUABLE input for us to make this event a success. ]]> 2018-04-22 03:07:04 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254097476 Assalaamu Alaikum mommies https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254098635 2018-04-22 03:40:14 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254098635 https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099095 As a Mother, juggling multiple roles in a day, there are some good days (Alhamdulilah) and sometime not so good days(especially when menses nearing, hormones not so stable or falling sick). During good days, I'm glad and thankful that I can execute many things, from family mgmt, to personal self devt etc. But how do I maintain this momentum, and minimise the 'bad days'? As the entire household tends to weaken, when the mother (me) is not feeling up to it?]]> 2018-04-22 03:49:26 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099095 Working mom https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099134 I am a working mother. Basically doing shift work. I feel like its really hard to juggle being a wife, a mom and also a working adult. It feels like i will never have enough time for my daughter. And sometimes i feel like its because of me she is lacking behind. But i tell myself to not compare her to other children and that she is actually not that far behind. I blame myself for the things she cant do. It gets quite depressing. And due to my high expectations for her i feel like i am pressurising her to be better. But i do not want her to fear me. I want her to respect me. How do i improve my relationship with my daughter? ]]> 2018-04-22 03:50:28 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099134 sahm https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099170 I feel low, shitty, angry and dissapointed with myself for not trying harder. At the end of each day, I always reflect what I said to each child and how i made them feel. Situations where I feel I can be better and handle them better but I did the opposite, I'll cry myself to sleep. ]]> 2018-04-22 03:51:25 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099170 Even though I am a stay at home mum with 4 kids. With having to send and fetch my kids to and from school, after class activities and weekend classes everyday, I feel that I have not given enough of my one to one time to each of them. Definitely, as a mother I do feel guilty. https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099327 2018-04-22 03:55:24 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099327 I often hear the saying it takes a village to raise a child. What if I don't have the privilege of having a village? What will I lack in parenting my children? My husband and I, raise our children on our own, and we try to minimise troubling our elders to take care of their grandchildren, as they are aged and not that healthy. Are we depriving our kids from the village? https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099341 2018-04-22 03:55:43 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099341 Is there a 'supermom' in Islam? Who has done all the roles (Wife, Mother, Daughter/Daughter-in-law/employee/boss) without help? https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099536 2018-04-22 04:01:49 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099536 Does a Mother fails in her duties, if she has raised her kids well, unfortunately they were led astray as they grow up? The usual stereotype statement- when u see a child who has done well in duniawi/ukhrawi, means the parents have parenting successfully, and on the other hand, if the child has done something bad eg committed a crime, means the parents have failed at parenting? https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099672 2018-04-22 04:05:28 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254099672 my biggest gripe is how to be a gd muslim mom. how to balance b/w working and being a gd mum. how to instill the right values. N bcos i am trying my very best to squeeze time for both working n being a mum..i feel burn out. i hav very little time for myself. everday its a hustle even though i hav v gd support from husband, from parents n i do hav a helper. But when it comes to handling kids, i want to do it and don't /very rarely depend on helper. I know we cannot have everything, something must "go"...somethibg must be prioritise but what? https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254100011 2018-04-22 04:12:57 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254100011 A working's mother dilemma https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254100914 Salam sisters.
I do not know how to begin.
I am facing challenges esp with my son's behaviour. Its difficult to get him to cooperate n to listen to me. I know tt he is a clever boy but i just cant understand why he refused to listen to me most of the time. 
I do not know if i should bring him to see a specialist to check on his behaviour. 
And i am tired with managing the household as my spouse didnt really help me out. Sometimes i just feel like running away from reality but i cant. 
And when i am doing my ibadah, i feel that i am not giving my fullest attention to it. Most of the time its done at the last minute. I am always feeling down. I can tell people what they need to do, but when it comes to myself, i don't really follow my beliefs. And procrastination is another thing that i need to break away from. Its not easy. I have many ideas, but whats the point when i dont really follow thru it. 
I.am.tired. *sobs*

]]> 2018-04-22 04:31:55 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254100914 In terms of priorities ranking, which one should come first? 1-Servant to Allah,2- Wife duties to husband, 3-motherhood duties, 4-Daughter/Daughter-in-law duties, and last then self? Is this the correct order? 😌 https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254100954 2018-04-22 04:32:47 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254100954 The struggles of handling a pre pubescent 10 yr old https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254101617 Bismillah 

The psychology of a pre-puberty 10 year old girl who was an only child and had a domestic helper for up to 7 years. At 8, Mother stopped work to care for baby sister. How to now teach her personal responsibility at home for her own things, homework, revision, sleeping early, waking on time for school and even eating healthy. Seems to have her own mind and mother's advice falls on deaf ears. Hardly cooperative when mother tries to teach her school subjects but no problem with Arabic tutor, school teacher . Only when father threatens, then she does it out of fear.

Making dua, Quran, solat is a constant in our household which is one of the few things she does. Alhamdullilah 😍]]> 2018-04-22 04:49:18 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254101617 Between working mum & sahm https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254101761 They say that e child initial years is very crucial for bonding etc. What if we can’t have that privilege having to go back to work to help supplement the finance as our parents are still alive & aging and we have 4 kids & some going full-time Madrasah which requires alot of expenses (school bus, tuition for eg)? What is your take if we have to have a helper to take care of our baby and later on sending them to full-day childcare? Are we risking the bond with our child which in turn will make us regret when they are bigger? ]]> 2018-04-22 04:51:57 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254101761 Finding the balance https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254102358 As a working mum, the time spent with my children is very little. Sometimes i feel guilty as i feel that i am not spending as much time with them as i should. How do we find the balance between work and family such that parenting must be the priority.]]> 2018-04-22 05:05:05 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254102358 786. There r so much I can do as a mum when im still alive. However, if i were to die soon, how is it like 4 my children (aged 0-6)? Does Islam define who should cotinue to care for them & continue to provide the tarbiyyah islamiyyah which is required? https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254102752 2018-04-22 05:13:38 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254102752 Mum with medical issues https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254102981 Due to numerous medical complications, there are limitations to what I can do as a parent. Since I can do the bare minimum, what are the few things I should focus on so that I may deliver the most impact? I am not currently working but children are in childcare/taken care of by my mum as I am too weak to do it myself. I feel the need to assuage the guilt i feel for beinh so unable. This is especially because my children were so difficult to get in the first place. The pressure is on to really bring up the best children possible.

]]> 2018-04-22 05:19:21 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254102981 Effort and Tawakul https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254103563 How to recognise when One's efforts has been exhausted and to leave the rest to Him.]]> 2018-04-22 05:33:17 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254103563 https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254104876 Assalamualaikum Ustazah. Can you share how is your day like as a Mother, Wife, Daughter and Ustazah? How do you manage ? 😊]]> 2018-04-22 06:05:16 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254104876 https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254104904 2018-04-22 06:05:56 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254104904 What's next https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254104963 I don't know how to start but I want to guide my children in their late teens to Islam. At the age of 9i send them to ngaji.. But unfortunate it has to stop because the uztazah had some medical problems.. Been looking for other classes for them but the charges were as high as $ 300 per person. My hubby find it too. Pricey and I can understand that... We didn't do anything about it till now. Onlybtge past three years we started a quran reading alhamdullillah they doing well in that.. Just that I failed to guide them into other stuff in Islam. Teaching. ]]> 2018-04-22 06:07:07 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254104963 Am I a selfish Mom, if I were to pursue my career devt, instead of prioritising my family/children? Do I have to prioritise my family upbringing I.e taking care of my children first before pursuing my studies or career? https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254105098 2018-04-22 06:09:39 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254105098 Motherhood can be a lonely journey for me. I'm an only daughter and my Mom has passed away long before I get married. I'm not that close to my in laws, cordial relationship. Who do I turn to for help? I seek refuge in Allah, sometimes crying myself to sleep... https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254105325 2018-04-22 06:13:41 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254105325 https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254107883 Salam Sisters,
My husband is a convert. My 3 sons looks more like Chinese. My 2 older sons previously in Chinese School & now in Christian school.

My 2 older sons started to question me. Why is he not Malay & he hate explaining to people his parents are mixed races? He always tell his peers & people around him that he is a Muslim .  All my sons went for weekend Madrasah & we pray jemaah 1x on weekend. They went for Friday prayer & love attending my family gatherings

Recently, i suffered depression. I felt I failed my roles as a Muslim mother for choosing Chinese & Christian School for my older sons. I felt I have too heavy responsibility to guide my husband & sons.
Why  I felt I fail as a mother?]]> 2018-04-22 07:05:33 UTC https://padlet.com/waheedah/Qualities_Reminders/wish/254107883