Hi Janae,
This draft is a good foundation to a solid essay. You've selected good details and clearly connected them to a "so what?" in Wiley's work. Your introduction probably needs a little refocus - if you introduce Wiley's style in the overall painting collection and perhaps define your key terms, the essay will have the context it needs to be well-grounded in evidence throughout. See my comments for more on clarifying details in the essay.

Hi Janae,
Your essay is written clearly and shows a good understanding of the content of the podcast episodes. However, the focus of the essay needs some adjustment. The analysis of the features themselves is getting a little lost, and much of the dicsussion in body paragraphs 2 and 3 is summary/description. While these paragraphs do represent the big ideas in the episodes well, they don't quite get to the "how?". How do the producers use interviews in "White vs. White?" to explore the problems with racial categorization in this story? How do the producers generate pathos in "Therapy Ghostbusters," and how does it add to the episode? Part of the difficulty here is that these episodes are complex, and I think you can start to address that by adding a short summary of the episodes in the intro paragraph, so your body paragraphs can focus more on analysis.

Criterion A: 8/10

Criterion B: 7/10

Criterion C: 8/10

Criterion D: 7/10

race

gender (masculinity and feminity)

abuse

family

education

culture

power

love

race gender (masculinity)

manipulation

power

class

love

mental health

justice

masculinity

manipulation

education

greed

trauma

safety

gender

power

trauma

government

justice

safety

culture

religion

education

race

gender

power

class

beauty

culture

mental health

extremism

cultural conflicts

ideas of power

collectivism

race

GI:

power

justice

freedom

mental health

class

government

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M3OmoUY5PjUlyloUTglXi02U4BLfe2XSyZqD8Av25As/edit?tab=t.0

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1V5tqzhwIcUUtBpuKXMZBh1FC3FG7R8nGsxLFQS3yJ_4/edit?tab=t.0

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ukp2Zkm8iIrROhTIG5KXUEJmXKdZePnIIWnpW5eyF7k/edit?tab=t.0

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sI9wJ1YoOnP16eKXlUHNdb6u4FTt-e3AkaBYos7RGPs/edit?tab=t.0

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QEMDaftZnAzmEownAQ_xZAu-cg9_sWgi9CbCEaxIXJg/edit?tab=t.0

HL Essay 2 Identity in Invisibilia https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Z-1nr5UNzDW6LyQt7vpnuA4FRSAeGDIfqgHR1RmRcMo/edit?tab=t.0