https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv Write two improvements you made in your essay and one question you still have en-us 2020-09-13 22:05:06 UTC 2020-09-17 17:17:09 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748487063 Two things I improved on in my essay were my grammar and my sentence organization, I als stopped being repetitive with the use of "I". A question that I have is if I did the essay in the correct format and in the correct structure.]]> 2020-09-15 16:07:45 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748487063 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748487904 One improvement that I made in my essay was the composition of my sentences. The second thing that I improved was the inclusion of my quotes in my essay. A question I have and a good one is if I am using a good structure to write my essay?

]]> 2020-09-15 16:07:56 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748487904 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748490797 One improvement I made in my essay was to change my introduction, I had to add the main claim so it would all come together. Another improvement I made was to check my sentences, especially in the introduction. I combined a couple that needed a pause instead of a whole new break and now I think it reads better.]]> 2020-09-15 16:08:31 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748490797 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748490907 I dont have any questions but two things I improved on in my essay are using more references by Kimmer and paragraph structure. Before my fourth and fifth paragraphs were repetitive and slightly off topic. Now they're much more organized and focus on my beliefs and the actions I take on the topic.]]> 2020-09-15 16:08:32 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748490907 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748493718 I fixed up on my grammar to make my beliefs and Kimmerer's ideas sound more connected. I also changed some of my sentence structure to make it not sound repetitive and more fun to read.]]> 2020-09-15 16:09:04 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748493718 1589143 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748494633 One improvement I made in my essay is that I added the hook about my experiences living in Maui and the main claim to my intro so I think it is very clear now. Another improvement is that I connected each paragraph to the article that we read by Professor Kimmerer. A question I have is if I ended up expressing my ideas correctly because I tend to be repetitive.]]> 2020-09-15 16:09:15 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748494633 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748500220 Two improvements I have made in my essay is adding more detail to my writing and referring back to the ideas of the article.]]> 2020-09-15 16:10:18 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748500220 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748501974 One improvement I made in my essay was including a personal example as a hook. Another improvement I made was changing my word choice since I kept repeating myself in the body paragraphs. For example, I kept writing "place" so I changed to words like environment, surroundings, and greenery. A question I have is how can I properly mention the source in my writing?]]> 2020-09-15 16:10:39 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748501974 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748502576 In my essay, two improvements I made was correcting my use of capitalization and adding more connections to the text. A question I have is if I ended up using enough evidence/ ties to the text that relate to me and my beliefs. ]]> 2020-09-15 16:10:47 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748502576 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748506011 Two improvements for the essay that I made was I added a hook that is in the introduction and continues over into the conclusion. Another improvement is that I added a transition to my paragraphs to make it flow better. A question I have is how deep do I have to go on my background in the introduction?]]> 2020-09-15 16:11:29 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748506011 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748506903 Two improvements I made in my essay is taking away many "I" that I had and I added a hook, so I think my essay improved.]]> 2020-09-15 16:11:39 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748506903 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748527903 1. One improvement I made ]]> 2020-09-15 16:15:55 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748527903 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748540118 I think the two things that I improved on was knowing what I was going to introduce in the introduction and in the body paragraphs, putting examples of my life and explaining the relevance to the essay is what I think I improved on.]]> 2020-09-15 16:18:22 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748540118 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748546223 Two improvements that I would make on my essay is adding specific examples. Another improvement is fixing up my intro and conclusion. How can I improve my essay?

]]> 2020-09-15 16:19:34 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748546223 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748560916 I worked on trying to expand my ideas and give more detailed sentences.  Also looking for evidence that really connects with my argument.]]> 2020-09-15 16:22:32 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748560916 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748569492 Two things to improve are Detail and the Hook

 My problem is that I haven't talked much about Kimmerer and I know that's a bad thing I guess

 My question is is it important to talk about Kimmerer?  or more of us?]]> 2020-09-15 16:24:11 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748569492 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748598152 Two improvements that I made to my essay was to elaborate more my introduction by adding a interesting hook; “It is proven by several scientific studies that nature can have multiple benefits for us humans, such as; stress reduction, relieves depression and anxiety, encourages physical activity and engagement and among others”. Also I try to elaborate more my conclusion by restating my thesis and making connections between the conclusion and introduction by saying; “Eventually all humans have a relationship or a certain connection with nature therefore we can clearly tell that our behavior will impact and influence in how nature will behave and react as well.” which connects to my introduction as well.
My question is:
Do we have to talk more in first person rather than third person?

]]> 2020-09-15 16:30:10 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/748598152 https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/756230974 One thing to improve is introducing my thesis last instead of first in order to really understand what your talking about and adding more detail to it and another id to improve structuring my paragraphs In a more organized manner while adding in alot of detail]]> 2020-09-17 17:17:09 UTC https://padlet.com/mwickert8/mi2u2ftn1jsorouv/wish/756230974