Writing Personal Statements & Narratives by

mfriedm — 2026-06-05 20:31:47 UTC

2026-06-09 18:07:17 UTC

What inspired/drew you to focusing on your program/field of study?
What/who motivates you to pursue your personal and professional goals ?
What is one major achievement/accomplishment you’ve experienced in your life?

2026-06-09 18:11:13 UTC

I ended up in my field sort of stumbling backwards. I did English Literaure and IOR Communications as my majors in undergrad. In my last year of undergrad I started to fill out my rhetoric requirement for both degrees. At the point, I had already known I was going to apply to graduate school, but I assumed I would pursue a literature MA. It wasn't until I had completed my final project for a Rhetorical Criticism course that I realized I was interested in rhet/comp studies. So, with little formal background, I applied to the MA program at state and got in. I had enlisted the help of some faculty members to help catch me up ahead of starting the MA, and here I am!

2026-06-09 18:12:07 UTC

Clay remembers. It holds the logic of the hands that shaped it, the climate it was made for, the culture it sheltered. Growing up surrounded by Iran's earthen cities like Yazd and Isfahan, I absorbed that intelligence before I had words for it.

My professional practice sharpened it. Working on a nine-story ceramic-clad headquarters in Tehran taught me what a material actually demands, not from a textbook but from the factory floor and the construction site. When that project finished, one question wouldn't leave me alone: what if the surface could do more than represent? What if it could respond to climate, manage heat, interact with the environment?

That question brought me here. To clay additive manufacturing, computational design, and a PhD that tries to bring ancient material intelligence into conversation with digital fabrication.

2026-06-09 18:12:12 UTC

Always had a desire to impact human health, fascination with how the human body works and works together, beginning up from cells
What gets me out of bed is feeling like what I’m doing that day may have help someone with cancer someday

2026-06-09 18:13:01 UTC

I was very curious about my field and was able take on opportunities that really peaked my interest. My faith and family motivates me to pursue my goals. Major achievement thus far is graduating and completing a dual degree program during my undergrad years (BS in biomedical engineering and mathematics) .

2026-06-09 18:14:30 UTC

Master of Statistics. Wanted to complement a Marketing and UX oriented career with deeper quantitative skills.

Major accomplishment: I did the 545 multiday bike ride from San Francisco to LA along the coast.

2026-06-09 18:14:46 UTC

My passion for human-wildlife coexistence started when I saw a dead wild boar lying beside a fence outside a national park. I realized that the national park that was established to protect wild animals is not enough, it needs to be integrated with the needs, values, and concerns of local communities living nearby. This realization inspired me to pursue graduate studies focused on conservation social science and human dimensions of wildlife management.

2026-06-09 18:24:24 UTC

The Avengers stand in the middle of NYC while under attack. Iron Man leads a massive dragon-like monster to the Avengers, making a bad situation worse. The Hulk unleashes his anger to slow the monster so the other Avengers can finish it off.

2026-06-09 18:24:27 UTC

The clip shows a fight scene that has just ended, while a major confrontation is about to begin.

2026-06-09 18:24:31 UTC

This is one of the memorable scene from the Avengers movie, where a team of superheroes are fighting to save New York City from an alien invasion. Bruce Banner, one of the superheroes, arrive and joins the group. When one of his teammates ask him to get angry and convert into Hulk, he mentions "That's my secret, Cap. I am always angry.", revealing that he has learned to control his anger.

I watched Avengers last week, so everything is super fresh for me!

2026-06-09 18:24:35 UTC

They are encouraging Banner to turn inro Hulk and Iron Man is directing the enemy to them

2026-06-09 18:54:16 UTC

Respond to: what worked and what could be improved?

2026-06-09 18:55:03 UTC

Great job describing a unique background that qualifications them for this experience. Would have appreciated more details in why Poland and what they want to exactly “fix” about their systems?

2026-06-09 18:55:17 UTC

The personal statement started with a personal experience (a storytelling approach), I think it is a good approach to use in a PS.

Connecting experiences and going back to the initial experience is also a good approach.

One thing to improve: Should be more specific. It felt more generic.

2026-06-09 18:55:24 UTC

Well written and vivid storytelling in the beginning of the statement, but is not as descriptive in the second half. I think this kind of essay is great for an english field but may not do as well in a scientific field. As someone in an applied science field, I struggle to find the balance between discussing science vs human connection in these types of statements.

2026-06-09 18:55:48 UTC

The connection with Poland in the beginning, happy stories about his family, and then the abrupt bad experiences that followed created an immediate connection. The author weaves in his struggles, while also adding motivations on the same paragraph that is directly connected to other scholarships, provides evidence on how they have become better after receiving scholarships.

2026-06-09 18:55:55 UTC

I enjoyed the overall narrative. It was easy to feel the emotion and motivation behind it, but I felt some disconnect between the paragraphs. For me, the links between his background and the rest of the story could be stronger.