After reading some of the debate surrounding this topic, and the way that many of them attack trans women who haven’t undergone surgery, I understand some of her reasons for not wanting to use the women’s bathroom, even if I was the only other woman in there. I also realize how unfair this rhetoric is, considering that I have had employees of stores tell me to use the men’s room when the women’s was being cleaned or had a long line, and I had never been made out to be a sexual predator, or weird for going in the room that didn’t match my genitalia for doing so. This felt especially unfair to me, when I thought about how men’s room may actually have urinals, which would be a fair reason for a man to not want a “woman” in there, whereas women’s rooms always have individual stalls, where the genitalia of the woman using it will never be known by the other women in the room.

This part of the reading reminded me of a feminist discussion I saw on social media where one user wrote: “I would like to point out that the idea that it’s cooler to not be attached emotionally in sexual encounters, not have expectations, etc. and be casual about sex and love is also harmful to women and puts the onus on them to change themselves, to criticize themselves for being loving and and feeling things deeply, rather than for men to stop being sex obsessed and devoid of human emotion.”

This reading made me think of this comment because it explains how the original push for sexually liberating women wasn’t only about pushing them to take on masculine attitudes, but also included valuing feminine attitudes about sex and love, by collapsing the Victorian binary for both men and women. Because of the patriarchal society this activism took place in, a cultural shift was mainly only seen in women who were becoming more masculine, versus the opposite. I feel like this idea is reflected in the comment, where it is pointed out that this idea harms women by making them criticize themselves for valuing love, rather than focusing on men being more emotional (which is typically seen as a feminine trait) when it comes to these types of relationships. The user who made this comment as described this attitude as being “cooler,” which shows the idea that having a more “boyish” personality is seen as better than a “girly” one, which is also mentioned in the reading: How Sex Became Fun, as something that is pushed onto even children by their parents and teachers/coaches. 

In this reading, a woman who was white-passing, and was socialized as a white person, existed within a white community, and grew up her whole life identifying as such, found out that she was legally considered as black on her birth certificate. Because of a 1970’s state law that anyone with atleast 1/32 “negro blood” was black, when she tried to sue the Louisiana Bureau of Vital Records to change her racial classification, she was unsuccessful. This concept is also referred to as the “one-drop rule,” and although it is used in the case of mainly African Americans, this line of thinking that any American with a drop of what is considered unfavorable blood in a given time period is an “other,” or in some way lesser than pure white Americans has extended to other racial groups as well. In the case of my family, who were Japanese Americans that had lived in Hawaii for generations, and didn’t speak a bit of Japanese, they were sent to Japanese internment camps during WWII for “security reasons'' by the U.S government, in the case they were spies who were sending information back to Japan. Although they were about as American as any other group living in the states, other than Native Americans, and some of them were even mixed with white, they had to go through this traumatic ordeal, in which they lost their property, possessions, businesses, and even academic credentials because of the way they were racially classified. As a child I went to a Japanese-American museum with my family for a WWII educational event, and I learned that not only would have I been interned in one of these camps if I had been alive at the time, but if I had children they would have been interned in one of these inhumane camps as well. This was shocking to me, considering that I was only 1/8th Japanese, mainly white passing, and had never been to Japan in my entire life. For these reasons, this reading describing a situation where someone was racially classified based on an “unfavorable” drop of their blood, as if it tainted their whole being, and made them considered an outsider in the community they grew up, brought back memories of my own experience of learning that like my family, I would have been persecuted and identified as a race I had little connection to based on a small percentage of my DNA.

This different idea of success than what is typically associated with a successful Asian American family is important to consider, so that people understand that Filipinos aren’t less capable, intelligent, or hardworking than East Asian immigrants. As starting and maintaining a family becomes exceedingly more difficult for busy Americans, many feel like they must put it off until later in their life, or forgo it entirely. In the case of American immigrants, prioritizing family becomes exceedingly more difficult, especially when trying to go to a prestigious university, or be successful in a career that involves long hours away from home. I feel like we as Americans are too prone to seeing this type of success as the only important kind, and assume that anyone who doesn’t achieve these goals were unable to; however, it is important to remember that success looks different to every culture, and in a culture that places such a high value on family, the smartest and most capable Filipino Americans may end up using these skills to start a family younger, and pour their efforts into that. When we think about someone becoming a doctor (a highly encouraged career for many Asian Americans) we often see it as a much higher marker or success than a nurse, and may even assume that the parents of a doctor would be more proud of their child than the parents of a nurse would be. What we fail to consider in this equation, is all of the sacrifices that must be made to pursue becoming a doctor, that sometimes interfere with religious and cultural values, like being able to take care of their family. We may assume that Filipinos have the same goals as other Asian immigrant families, and are just unable to work hard enough to achieve them, without seeing all the hard work they pour into fulfilling their parents' wishes, and being regarded as successful in their culture. 

This experience becoming more common in lower class students as college tuition, supplies, and living costs increase is very saddening to hear about. The college experience is considered by many to be an important part of American culture, and as students, we are told this is what opens pathways for our futures. The emphasis on the importance of college isn't just about the degree we obtain, but the connections made, and the experiences and opportunities that come with it. This post does a great job of pointing out that for students with less resources available to them, much of this experience and the things to be gained from it are stripped away. The part that really saddens me to think about, is how these students are still making great sacrifices to be able to complete school, such as skipping sleep and meals, neglecting to spend time with family and loved ones, and working much harder to afford both tuition and living, only to come out of the experience with that much less than those whose parents are able to support their educational goals. This means that the students who have to sacrifice the most for their schooling, may end up gaining the least from it, which is painful to think about when we consider that often what they are sacrificing is their health, and connection to their family. Many lower income students are also expected to take care of younger siblings, grandparents, and maybe even their own children, so to prioritize their schooling over these responsibilities, only for it to not pay off in the way it did for their classmates could be very painful for many, and may even make them regret pursuing their education. We also have to consider that college is an enjoyable experience for students who are able to regularly go out, party, attend campus events, and obtain extracurricular events that are in line with their passions. For lower income students, school is often only a difficult steppingstone to being able to support themselves, and they aren't able to experience the fun and social aspects of it to the same extent as other, if it all.

I have personally experienced being too busy working to join extra curricular activities and get more involved with my campus as a community college student, so I can imagine how much more this experience would be amplified as a university student. It’s also been hard for me to be invited out with classmates, only to have to decline because the activities they are inviting me to do are out of my budget range. This not only stops connections with classmates being made, but considering how many people end up employed through connections they made in college, it diminishes certain career possibilities as well.