I grew up in a culturally rich household where daughters were raised with certain expectations and traditions. Yet, my parents granted us the freedom to follow our own paths, a freedom that I cherish deeply. While this independence might seem typical here, for me, coming from a society where traditional gender roles are still widely embraced, it feels like a luxury.

From a young age, I was raised with a strong sense of spirituality. I still hold onto these values, seeing them as a guiding way of life rather than something to impose on others. My upbringing taught me respect for elders, people of other faiths and beliefs, animals, and nature itself. It instilled in me the importance of treating everyone with kindness and understanding, values I carry with me to this day.

Ever since I was a child, I’d dreamt of England, especially after watching Harry Potter, the idea of Hogwarts made me want to visit it one day. I still remember telling my parents I didn’t want to go to kindergarten, I wanted to go to Hogwarts instead! My parents were not very impressed when I told them I wanted to be a witch when I grew up but my father promised that when I grew up, I could go to Hogwarts. As time passed, that childhood wish faded, and I went on to earn both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees in the same city I’d always called home. I was never tired of my city, the green palms, coconut trees, blue skies, bustling streets, and ocean views, but I still felt there was something missing.

After a few prestigious internships and a brief role at Dr. Reddy’s, a major pharmaceutical company, life took a sharp turn. A motorcycle accident gave me time to pause and reflect, and I realized it was finally time to follow my childhood dream. So, I made the decision to move to England, ready to embrace the new and find what I felt was missing. On the 8th of September I moved to UK!

Finding Accommodation: I had just one relative in the country, and he kindly picked me up from the airport. But after just three days, he asked me to leave. Before I’d even figured out how to use the buses or cross the streets properly, I was told he didn’t believe I could make it here and feared I’d end up being a burden to him. So, he wanted me out while I was still “easy to get rid of.” I didn’t question it, but at 10 PM, I found myself on the streets of Hounslow with all my luggage. In that moment, I realised I had packed my entire life into three suitcases and moved to a completely foreign country. Somehow, those bags felt a lot heavier now than they had when I left India. Luckily, a kind stranger helped me book a bus ticket and find my way to Oxford, where I turned to the university for help. They did what they could and set me up with a dorm room.

First Job: Once I was settled in the dorm, I set out to find a job. The reality of life here was beginning to sink in. I knew things would be difficult, but not quite this difficult. I watched over fifty people apply for a single busser position! I was fortunate to secure a job at McDonald’s, though it was something I’d never imagined doing. Everything felt new and strange. Most people working there were from my part of the world, but their warmth seemed to have disappeared. I had grown up with certain values and a sense of courtesy that I realised didn’t have much place here. But I needed the job; my monthly pay was £860, and rent was £830. It was a hard time, and I was grateful for my parents' support to cover my food and essentials. That experience taught me invaluable lessons, from time management and budgeting to the resilience needed to thrive in an unfamiliar place.

Navigating University: The university itself was warm and welcoming, with students from all corners of the world. From the first class, I noticed how different teaching is here compared to India. Professors encouraged us to think independently, share our ideas, and develop our own opinions. I was surprised to see that asking questions or sharing ideas mid-class wasn’t considered rude. Each time I called a professor by their first name, I still felt like I was doing something wrong. Back home, that’s unimaginable! It took me a whole semester just to adjust to the teaching style and understand how to approach assignments properly.

One day in class, I almost felt like crying as a professor pushed me out of my comfort zone. Everyone around me had something to contribute, but I was too nervous to speak up. And then winter hit, bringing a harsh wave of homesickness and loneliness. I felt so lost that I went to the university counselor, who helped by giving me small “confidence exercises” to encourage me to speak up.

The new semester brought a fresh start, and I decided to approach it differently. I met one of my professors, and she was the first person to tell me I had a “nice voice.” All my life, I’d heard the opposite, I was told my voice wasn’t “womanly enough.” Her words were small but powerful, making me want to speak up more. She also told me I had nice handwriting, and it motivated me to participate in class and present with confidence. When I told her about the way my workplace had been treating me, she was incredibly compassionate, encouraging me to move on and believe in my worth. That belief empowered me to finally apply elsewhere and boy did I enjoy quitting my job McDonald's.

Cancer Research UK: Soon after, I joined Cancer Research UK’s marketing department. They welcomed me despite my student status, and my manager was understanding, allowing me to work part-time until I could join full-time. They equipped me with everything I needed to learn and excel. And I did. For the first time in almost two years, I felt like I belonged—I made friends, picked up new hobbies, and finally started to feel at home. It was the life I’d always dreamed of, and I was finally living it!

All the little treats had to stop as I realized my carefully saved money might have to go toward the visa fee. I started working even harder, sometimes even on weekends, to save up. My manager noticed my efforts and extended my contract. I was over the moon, especially since I’d been stressed about how I’d get by once my initial contract ended. Soon, I was asked to take on more responsibilities, training, and other tasks. My work became all-consuming, and I barely had time for friends or family.

Just as I felt overwhelmed, my lease ended. I had to move, adding even more to my growing to-do list. I found a cheaper place, less ideal, but manageable. I told myself I’d chosen this path, and I couldn’t complain. I started feeling the weight of it all. That’s when Emma, a close friend, stepped in. She was around my mother’s age, caring and warm, and she truly treated me like one of her own kids. In a place where I often felt like an outsider, Emma gave me a sense of home. She checked in on me, encouraged me, and reminded me I wasn’t alone. She even attended my graduation when my parents could not make it.

Work only got tougher. My new manager knew I needed the money, so she scheduled me on weekends every other week, leaving me with barely any days off. Eventually, I applied for other roles within the organization. She found out and wasn’t happy, which made things even more stressful. One day, I got so overwhelmed that I fell ill at work. Emma sat me down, listened to everything, and helped me see how much I just needed to talk. I avoided telling my parents any of this; I didn’t want to worry them.

Emma patiently went over all the steps I’d need to apply for my PSW visa, and after I finally managed to pay for it, I found myself back to square one financially. But this time, I’d learned a valuable lesson about saving and planning ahead for unexpected expenses. Emma continued checking in daily, making sure I was taking care of myself and not carrying all my burdens alone.

These are the strategies I’ve relied on to make 2024 more manageable, and they even helped me secure my new role:

Settling into a new country and job meant creating routines to keep myself grounded. Even with financial challenges, I made time for self-care by going to the gym, dressing up for work. These routines gave me a sense of normalcy, a taste of home, and kept me steady in difficult times.

Emma has been my guiding light. Her kindness taught me the importance of reaching out to trusted people. Having her support helped me see my own strength and reminded me not to carry everything alone. Sometimes, talking to someone is the simplest but most powerful way to ease a burden.

Experiences with tight budgets taught me the value of careful planning. Focusing on budgeting and saving for unforeseen expenses became essential when my income was stretched thin. Now, I make it a point to prepare financially, so I can feel secure and worry less about sudden costs.

Adapting to cultural differences at university and in the workplace was challenging but quite transformative. Learning to call professors by their names and openly discussing ideas pushed me out of my comfort zone. I truly believe that stepping out of that safe space is why I am where I am today. Keeping my head down wouldn’t have led me here.

My professor encouraged me to speak up, valuing my voice and even complimenting my handwriting. These little acts gave me a newfound confidence. It’s amazing how a few supportive words can inspire someone to express themselves fully. Now, I try to sprinkle in simple compliments like “You did a great job” or “I really like your idea.” Little acknowledgments like that can also go a long way, and you never know what impact they might have on someone’s day. So, I made it a habit to share those words whenever I can, knowing they might mean more than I realize.

While my first job at McDonald’s wasn’t ideal, it taught me essential skills like time management and work-life balance. Those experiences prepared me for my role at Cancer Research UK, helping me learn that every job, no matter how hard, contributes to my growth.

When a stranger helped me book a bus ticket that night I found myself without a place to stay, it left a lasting impact. That kindness reminded me to give back in any small way I can. Now, I always try to say yes if I can help someone else.

I still remember my line manager mentioning that she lived in Bristol and would only come to the office once every few months. Some managers even flew in from Scotland for occasional meetings. Meanwhile, since I lived just 40 minutes away by bus, I was asked to come into the office 3-4 times a week. While 90% of the staff worked remotely, I found unexpected benefits in being one of the few present in the office. Working with one or two other colleagues fostered close bonds and gave us opportunities to learn from one another. By the end of my tenure, I had mastered five different job roles simply because we had the time to exchange insights and understand each other’s work.

However, hybrid working had its challenges too, particularly when it came to building connections with managers and co-workers. When my line manager occasionally came into the office for meetings, our interactions felt awkward. Despite my efforts to initiate conversations and build rapport, there seemed to be a lack of common ground; besides, ironically, both of us being lactose intolerant! While shared interests aren’t a prerequisite for professional relationships, having some foundation for connection might have made our interactions less strained.

COVID-19 seems to have played a role in this dynamic. Many colleagues who worked together before the pandemic naturally stuck to their pre-established groups when they returned to the office. It felt like trying to break into a high school clique, with old friendships remaining tightly knit and newcomers struggling to find a seat at the popular kids table. Eventually, I stopped trying to integrate into these groups and focused on the few colleagues I worked with regularly, like Emma, who became a good friend.

Yet, I sometimes wonder if isolating myself was a mistake. Hybrid working’s remote nature made it challenging to form connections with the broader team, especially when I saw how promotions were handled. For example, when I applied for a Level 3 promotion, I discovered that a colleague who is close friends with my line manager was promoted to a managerial position despite not having better performance metrics. My line manager even created a separate department to keep this person on board after she wanted to leave if she wasn’t promoted. While I had achieved the same level of competency in just 1.3 years that took others much longer (call it the immigrant work ethic), and I felt overlooked and excluded from opportunities.

Though hybrid working had its advantages, like flexibility and the ability to prioritize self-care, it fell short in fostering deeper relationships. This disconnection was underscored when my line manager didn’t even schedule an exit interview when I left CRUK. While I appreciated the autonomy hybrid work offered, I believe it also contributed to the missed opportunities for collaboration and inclusivity.