Thank you for asking me for advice. I have read your problem and I have some tips for you. I hope it helps. 

First of all, you need to think again what authority is. Authority is like a road. If you are stopping where you should be continuing and continuing where you should be stopping, it is a problem. One of the biggest obstacles on this path is being addicted to something. Also, do not be too hard on yourself when trying to establish your authority. Start with little steps, this is always good. If you be hard on yourself your motivation may turn into hate. Sometimes it is better to reward yourself. Also, your cycle may be broken. But do not be sad. If you are decided to go on your way, it does not matter.

Secondly, the aim. If you do not have a purpose, there is no meaning in what you do.Also remembering your goal will motivate you when you give up. You may want to establish your authority for "anything". One day you may reach your goal or you may give up. But you should know that; this is for yourself first. Because authority stays with you for your whole life. And the last one, share your feeling and thoughs with the people around you. Because if you do not do it, you can not understand yourself fully. Because of this there should be people who walk a similar way as you. 

To sum up; self care, aim and environment. If you have questions, you can ask.

Feyza