its not a gudbye. its more of a "cya on some other social app!"

sooo i'll leave this padlet up(on public too, in case u ever lose the link. just google it somehow) and yeah... im not gud at these kinda things lol, but IF i dont ever see u again.. well idk. i'd probably say "BYEEE CYA NEXT LIFE" or smthin XD but yeah if i dont see u again, hope u have a great rest of ur life :)

- Insta: yosad930 (my main is privated now)

- Roblox: IDK_Blah1743 (wont accept requests unless i can clearly see who it is)

- Youtube: yosad1743 (i dont even post lol, but u can check on my song playlists if u want)

- Remind: class code -> code2024

* my most active nowadays is instagram :)

• college: grades going horrible and (links my prompt) so this was due last night and i havent started yet... the division between my ela final grade being below 70 or above 70 ;-;

• also im prob gonna graduate late (cuz major change a semester into college caused me to be behind) so i gotta do summer school (also i withdrew from calc and everything)

• all my other grades are at a B atm

• ;-;

• finances: well i do have a job, but some of my shifts got taken away recently cuz new person joining. so only got to work like, 20 hours a week ;-;

• am looking for a second job but its harder than i thought cuz scheduling and whatnot

• yes, i am in student loan debt of over 6k a year

• mi y mi roomie looking for apartments too, because we broke students and the school forces us to buy meal plan if we live there so school living + meal plan = 7k a semester which is 14k a school year, while the apartments if we divide between 3-4 people would be bout 500-600 a month, which would be 5k-6k a school year cuz its 10 months. but then we might do a long lease one cuz idk its up to her. but anyways 14k versus 6k, when living at apartment we wont be spending over 8k on food a school year lol so i do believe its cheaper for apartments. but thats just so complicated, cuz then theres gas money to travel and whatnot

• Social Life: going quite fine, most of the times. except everyone ik be going into relationships and then theres finals and everyone be locking in and then they leave school for break, but then my parents want me to work so ill be staying here by myself ._. school food would also close soo thats that. anyways so like yeah... imagine just being normal and ur friends be showing up random days with hickeys and whatnot. and idk.. most of my good friends are at the other campus, which is 25-30+ mins away depending on traffic, and i aint got no more gas money.. im losing touch with nearly everyone i used to know, and yeah idk anymore...

• so yeahhh thanks to anyone who reads all that lol

life mini update since i forgot what i said and not said

got into mini car accident and i got no insurance (and other citations), court march 10, so little work shifts now. also i turned 19 a week ago, and lifes just been great ever since im not overwhelmed with work anymore and got to have fun :)

ofc, schoolwork still sucks lol gpa is on verge of losing financial aid, cuz its a 3.0 outta 4 .-. ill find a way to bring myself up but yeahh

yeah..

• yes i got huge eyeshadows

• i did mention court date got moved to april 20smthing, did i? well yeah it takes forever...

• oh yeah i got flagged for ai 85% + for ela class cuz i didnt have time to do it and speedran it, and would have afterclass meeting with professor next week thursday sooo ._.

• oh yeah im just behind in everything

• registration opened days ago but i havent gotten chance to meet advisor to open up classes for me, since most are ones that need me to finish one to start the other, and that aint possible for the fall sighnups cuz imma take classes during summer as well

• i havent figured out where to live for next school year yet since on dorms waitlist im still 700+, but i did find an house for rent thats kindaaish far but cheap of 700 a room a month, including utilities. but ouchie, gas prices. but thats nice cuz more safe than apartments, and ik one other person who gonna live there

• ._. my ela research paper is coming up as well and i gotta find primary sources as well, mind answering a survey for me (as best as u guys can?)

  https://forms.gle/Vpzyagjygq9Ma2vj9

okay less chat about work, now lets talk bout school. schoolwise, uh... well im currently taking 3 summer classes, all online but of course the lockdown browser exists (for tests, like record environment, basically stricter than in person tests bruh imagine being recorded screen and face the whole entire time) one is prob end up as a C (according to my most recent test), another class doing eh okay (high B or low A prob), and my educ class (okayyy yes my future career some math teacher, dont be judgin now) now that class is a pain in da butt, like why do i gotta pay $40 for some criminal background check, and pay $15 for student insurance, and a dozen more other outside of class stuff like certificates and volunteering at specific locations for 15 hours? ;-; i do got a life yk, my normal amount of shifts is 4 days a week, and with 3 online classes (which speed up cuz summer only 2 months) and now u want me to take 15 hours of this... abt 3 weeks left, to volunteer? breh and i aint got a car anymore, so bus riding take even more time...

last update would be about my uh... yes yes, social life. my friends, but then its not best either. im losing most of them to relationships ;-; college be like... yes i am happy for them, but im also a selfish person and am a itty bit jealous (okay yesss a lot jealous, esp this one friend of mine). although she doesn't like "cringe", aka signs of affection (reason she broke up with her old bf, he's a decent guy, like someone i geniunely hope the best for) but anyhow... bruh my gut feeling is almost always correct, and it says that the guy she always be hanging out likes her. but he's not the worst choice (ahem ahem, compared to SOME of my friends) like he's actually gentlemanly, respects her boundaries, silly, and makes her laugh and smile lots. he also give her lotta compliments, and like wow, they dress up for each other. its cute but like dont take her so farrrr :( oh yes, the squared cat was made by her, for christmas for me lol.... i realized, i have the most relationship experience for someone who has never actually been in one. the amount of stuff people tell me, the amount of help they be asking for, like huh...why me? ig its cuz it seems like i dont got clouded judgement, but yeahhhhh idk, when giving them advice though, i always be rational. the amount of break ups as well, like dang bruh why u in so deep. but of course im not gonna say that, of course im going to be supportative as well as a "well u can always find someone else better" and "he's not the one for u then". haha my mom always say, the world keeps on moving, everything continues happening, like who cares yall break up. like yes yes, i agree. yall prob be thinking, but jing, u haven't experienced it. well, one can say that i know whats realistic and whats not. like if i see a good looking guy (mainly at work) me and my coworkers talk about them and stare stare but we know we prob wont see them again so thats that, and we forget about them really soon. but thats just admiring. in order for me to truly have a crush on someone , they gotta make themselves memorable and/or known. yk, go up to me and talk or smthing, and do that multple times until i either realize they not that good or i realize they even better than i thought. if that makes sense...

srry for the ultra long post haha, i slept at 6 am, but didn't sleep well at all (kept woking up every half an hour for no reason, like wtf) and at 11am my coworker want me to get her keys, come back and get her classes from her car, go back there to give it to her, and come back here after im done. yk, walking to work is 20 mins, so thats 80 minutes, and she checked whether for me, it was 90 degrees faraheint. like just imagine, literal no shade cuz i be walking side of the highway. about 5pm, i accidentally took a 2 hour nap, and now its 11:30pm

i realized i havent typed my thoughts out in such a long time, this might as well be my diary by now lmaoo but yeah... i was gonna do nitrotype cuz i be knowing my fingers are restless, and now that i started this, might as well stick to this and not do nitrotype (yes yes, my reason why i still do NT from time to time) like im so used to typing, there are random days i needa just type lotsssss. before, i would always put the restlessness to my english courses, but now i dont got any, im just gonna yap and yap on here. less brainwork anyway, as im literally just typing whatever comes to mind first, so ig u guys can literally see my thought process, makes sense?

yk... i want a bike. like a motorcycle bike. the adrenaline rush, and its cheaper than a car. i also wanna go to germany, cuz i saw some reels about its autobahn, i def wanna speed. i dont got depression but i do feel super sad somedays, and it not my period cuz it ended yesterday. like last week i freaking saw a baby bird die in front of me, and its my fault cuz i tried to get it off the road but apparently it was the wrong side and after it reached the other side, it kinda went around in circles and it couldnt get up the curb cuz it couldnt fly at all, and the other bird buddies of his flew down with him and chirping and all that, but yeah i got to the other side, cars were coming, and it got hit. multipe times. i wasnt in the mood to get a dead baby bird body of the road for a proper burial either though, so ;-; and there be these random moments of "if i were to get hit by a car" (okay i was walking home from work and there be speeding cars when im tryna cross da road) and i was thinking, how long would it take someone to realize somthings wrong, how would they figure out, whos gonna care and whos not, would i get a proper funeral, who would come, who would it affect the most . this made me really sad again, cuz ik my workplace would find out first, my parents second (they know my parents), friends of my parents third, and as for my other friends to figure out, well either my coworkers spread the word to them (they know each other as well haha, everythings connected) orrr they see i havent been on insta for over a day (im on daily) and might wonder. no, we dont talk daily, we dont even send reels daily, its always a "oh i see u got nothing planned tmrow, me neither, wanna have a sleepover?" so most likely they wouldnt know til its the next time we're both free, from schoolwork and work, as well as other social life. so thats that.. (srry too much emotional dump rn, ik)

theres still so much in my head.. i chose padlet because ik they dont even know what it is, and they cant find this ever, so thats reassuring. . . again, im not depressed or anything, am just sometimes an overthinker, and i like to release all my problems and yap to open air, so nobody has to carry the burden of all my worries, if that makes sense..

if u read all this, srry and ty lots

like uhmmmm i checked his insta profile, he does look nice... and idk ahhhhhh

it was from some stupid comment-befriend reels, yk what i mean? and 2 indian guys replied, one was eh and one was like name, age, wyll and then compliments and now he's sending quite some pics of himself smiling and its actually quite cute, i've gotta admit. like he sure knows he's good looking too lmaoo but yeah and he aint no dry texter... idk, im normally really against online dating... wahhhhh what do i do