My mother experienced Post-Pardon Depression, and my colic did not help matters. I am sure this caused mistrust. However, by my first birthday she had fallen in love with me and we did bond and develop a relationship.

“Unfortunately, a young infant is in no position to control or influence a caregiver's scheduling needs, so the infant faces a dilemma about how much to trust or mistrust the caregiver's helpfulness.”

I was potty-trained early, and began my journey of picky eating. I was curious about everything and wanted to explore the world my own way. My mom said it always blew her away how smart and particular I was.

“Erikson believed that toddlers should be allowed to explore their environment as freely as safety permits, fostering their understanding of independence that later grows self-esteem, initiative, and overall confidence.”

I asked a lot of questions, had friends in Pre-K, and my mom accepted me for the particular child I was.

“By limiting behavior where necessary—but not limiting internal feelings—caregivers demonstrate support of this newfound ability to take the initiative.”

School was easy for me so it reflected my good grades. I learned I was gifted in art. I found my love for sports.

“Erikson believed that if these industrious children can be successful in their endeavors, they will get a sense of confidence for future challenges.”

Getting pregnant at 16 in high school caused me to have to sit out on sports for the year. Over the summer my daughter passed away during delivery. Returning to school I was the topic of conversation. Seeing others who didn’t seem to even care they had children, treated them bad, and didn’t put them first, turned me hateful and confused on how they were more deserving to have their kids than I was. This resulted in me giving up on everything I had once loved and wanted, including sports, and college. I barely graduated High School because I didn’t apply myself at all.

“When adolescents are apathetic, do not make a conscious search for identity, or are pressured to conform to their parents’ ideas for the future, they may develop a weak sense of self and experience role confusion.“

This is my current stage. I began in isolation, then intimacy, then isolation, and back to intimacy. Although this seems confusing, that is what comes with mental-illness. I learned to acknowledge when it comes, and I have the self-talk to know that it won’t stay for long. I saw light at the end of the tunnel, and although I still face challenges, I have one focus: to make the world a better place and bring as much love and hope I can to those around me. My mission entails my life being full of love with stable relationships.

“Achieving a sense of identity is a life‐long process, but there are periods of identity crisis and stability.”

With the steps I have taken to find happiness and give back, I am sure my future will be successful, and I will constantly be giving back to my family and the community. If I had to sum myself up in one word, it’s mother. I hope all of the hardships I have encountered show the work I have put into my own children and the children around me.

“Erikson believed that the stage of generativity, during which one established a family and career, was the longest of all the stages. Individuals at midlife are primarily concerned with leaving a positive legacy of themselves, and according to Erikson (1950) parenthood is the primary generative type.”

Based on everything, this is my expectation in this stage. I hope all of the hard work I put into my life has inspired many others to do the same.

“This stage includes finding meaning in one’s life and accepting one’s accomplishments, but also acknowledging what in life has not gone as hoped.”