Self-edit of narrative task by Karin Balmer https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k Post a 50 -100 word excerpt of your best writing from the narrative you wrote last Friday. en-us 2019-11-26 03:06:01 UTC 2019-11-26 03:47:45 UTC hello@padlet.com Breanna H https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416487180 “Casper, Casper! Come look what I just found!” yells Will. Casper makes his way over to where Will is crouched. A battered piece of paper is in his hand and a rusty silver key at his feet. The other children circle around Casper as he reads out the note. 

To whoever finds this, my name is Mel. I was held captive here for 2 years - it think (I may have miscounted the days it's hard to keep track down here). Today I am escaping. The other 2 girls who were kidnapped along with me died yesterday. I think they got poisoned. 
]]> 2019-11-26 03:18:47 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416487180 https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416487530 Ear shattering screaming runs down the hallways of the dorm, people running out of their rooms at lightning speed and cries of help linger in the halls. As I follow the crowd to the end room at the end of the hallway I peer through a gap in the crowd and see her. My best friend laying there on the floor, her cold lifeless body covered in blood, right in front of me, dead. I push past the large crowed at the doorway and I fall to the floor crying, I don’t understand who would’ve done this.]]> 2019-11-26 03:20:32 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416487530 Madison sat up in her bed, lost in the pitch-black darkness of the night. She looked around her room and felt alone, after the terrifying nightmare she just had. She pulled her straightened caramel-brown hair off her face to try and freshen her mind up. Although, nothing could help her. She eventually managed to shut her deep-set blue eyes, but never actually getting back to sleep. The next morning she woke up with so much worry in her stomach. It felt like a cage of butterflies had been let out in her body. Not wanting to go to school, because she knew she had to get into the car. The car used to feel like a fun place where she could sing along to all her favourite songs with her two sisters Evie and April, and her mum. Now it felt like a traumatising experience. https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416487639




]]> 2019-11-26 03:20:59 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416487639 lashwin https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416487990 Rosie weeps in happiness as she hugs her brother. “Jake… why are you here, you’re not a prisoner”

Jake puts his filthy hand over her mouth, and they hug.

“I got my revenge”.

Rosie and Jake's mum broke the law of having 2 children and so for 17 years Rosie hid under the floor in their bedroom so she wouldn’t be seen during inspection time. It became a routine. She was like a prisoner in her own home. She couldn’t leave. One day, she got caught  during a masquerade party. From then on, she was a prisoner on the curve. 

“What? Jake? What did you do? Tell me!”.

“I did what I had to do to get on this ship and protect you. My sister, my responsibility”.

“TELL ME JAKE”.

Jake drags Rosie in the level upstairs, and he shuts the door.

“I killed the president”.

]]> 2019-11-26 03:22:47 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416487990 Sabrina S https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416488617 “A long time ago, when the world was quite new, a monkey sat watching the bird as they flew” her father read. When Ally looked up, she could see the birds flying all around her room. 

She could see their beautiful feathers as they glided past her face seeing vividly each pattern on their feathers, but as soon as her dad turned the page and read on everything disappeared. 

]]> 2019-11-26 03:25:42 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416488617 It wasn’t until Derik had fetched the frisbee for the third time that he noticed the pair of eyes watching him from the window. It was the neighbour sitting in a room on a chair staring straight at him, eyes whiter than snow. Derik called for Joseph to come see because the man wasn’t moving, it seemed like he was dead that’s how pale his skin was. https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416488664 -petra

]]> 2019-11-26 03:25:57 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416488664 kasifrahman https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416488683 I tried and tried, running and swerving through the bullets and dodging all the people who were trying to kill me.  I couldn’t help myself but stop and help my family but realised they were all slaughtered in front of me. 

These are such toxic people shooting everyone for no reason. It is killing me inside knowing that I have been handling this type of behaviour for a while and finishing this crisis alone. No one here with me, everyone I know is gone, finished. 


]]> 2019-11-26 03:26:05 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416488683 The loud, traumatizing sounds coming from outside are getting louder and louder and the children are getting more terrified as the time goes by. There are only 3 hours left of the purge and the kids are getting out of hand. The sound of them crying out of fear is heart breaking. “Can you please read us a story?” Jessie asks as I turn to wipe her runny nose. I look around hoping to find a book lying around but there isn’t any. “I’m sorry Jess but I don’t have any books” I say to her as I continue to wipe her nose. https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416488911 2019-11-26 03:27:24 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416488911 omartin9 https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489026  Bloody handprints covered all four walls as detective Jones pushed past the smashed door lying on the apartment floor. Blood trailed throughout the apartment and furniture lay destroyed everywhere. All that could come to his mind was what could have gone on in the apartment in the hours prior to the police receiving the chilling news that there had been a murder in apartment 43 of West Wood street New York. As Jones began to roam the apartment, he had realised that his problems had only just begun.  

]]> 2019-11-26 03:27:58 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489026 “I don’t want hear it anymore Karen all you do is make my life so hard to live, you just complain and never stop” boomed my father's voice as he held two suitcases rushing to his rusty warn car. I watched with a shocked expression as my mother chased after him trying to grip onto his thick shoulders, “please what am I supposed to do you can't treat us like this please” my mother wailed trying to pull him away from his car “just leave me alone” my father's voice screamed as he pushed my mother making her frail body fall onto the ice. I rushed to her side making some attempt to pull her crying body of the snowy ground and inside our small cottage. My father then spun his car out of the driveway without saying his goodbyes to me, “come on mother come inside quick it's cold” I insisted. Mother lapsed into my arms crying softly into my robe “I am sorry William, things will never be the same now, I tried to stop him” the snow continued to descend from the night sky as I soothed my heartbroken mother, as we layed in the frigid and damp environment of Tilbrook avenue. We were not prepared for the events that had just happened not willing to give up the sense of family that we once all experienced, what will our future be without family, and trust where the only thoughts that fogged my mind. https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489158
this is by Tiana ]]> 2019-11-26 03:28:50 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489158 Julieeeeeee https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489512 They were dead. My family was dead. Gone. I knew it when I woke up in a hospital bed and the nurse standing over me wouldn’t meet my gaze or tell me where they were. When the doctor came over to spill the news, I shifted on side and closed my eyes. This was a dream. This was a horrible dream and I would wake up. Everything would be okay when I woke up, but I never woke up. This was all real.

]]> 2019-11-26 03:30:59 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489512 Lucy https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489517 She start to sway from side to side but abruptly stops; her head turns around and begins to waft through my door, one body part at a time. I realise that my time should be up but it doesn’t feel like it. The air is filled with fear and dismay as I am still unable to move my body. I can sense her presence still in my room even after I watched her drift out. I feel a large breath being blown onto me and as I look up, there she is. Staring closely at me, not moving a single muscle. The distraught brought through her company amongst me has made my insides quiver and wrap themselves up. Not thinking it would ever be over, I am able to finally bat my eyelids a million times to make up for the lost blinking time. My body recovers from the trauma that was just experienced and I am able to fall asleep again. Can’t wait to see what she wears tomorrow. 

]]> 2019-11-26 03:31:00 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489517 seren https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489668 Ava laid in bed looking at her plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on the roof. But there wasn’t much glow coming off it, so they’re just plastic stars on the roof. There was only one thought going around Ava’s mind in this moment. “I can’t sleep” Ava was mumbling to herself “why can’t I sleep, all the light are off and when I said goodnight I felt so tired,” As Ava laid still and listened to the noises of the night, she heard someone whispering her name. Ava was listening to the voice, and she realised it was her best friend, her rock, her guardian angel, Elliott. Elliott is Ava’s imaginary friend. He only visits Ava at night though. “Tonight’s story is Monsters vs Angels,” announced Elliott. Ava’s eyes widened as she became excited to hear the story. As Ava was getting excited, she suddenly heard loud siren noises coming from across the road. She tried to hear if her parents were coming to get her. Ava’s heart was beating so fast she thought it would beat out of her chest. Elliott disappeared and Ava became more and more distraught.

]]> 2019-11-26 03:32:02 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489668 As I tip toed across my screeching floorboards to peek through our shattered and fragmented windows, a colossal black bomb was about to land in front of our house. I panicked. I sensed tears oozing out of my eyes. However, the powerful wind changed directions leading the bomb to another direction, therefore I slowly yet observantly walked back to my bed. As the next day came by, the city of Denmark was surprisingly quiet, but the city looked more destroyed and emptier as days went by. https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489819 -Edwina ]]> 2019-11-26 03:32:56 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489819 Celeste https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489885 The guards opened up the golden doors as Averie entered the throne room. She took everything in. It was exactly how she imagined it to be. Red carpet, huge chandeliers, stained windows, small gardens and even Cinderella’s iconic glass shoes on display. One thing she didn’t imagine was the princess herself. She was slouching on her throne, her crown was lopsided, and it looked she didn’t care about anything. However, Averie couldn’t help but notice that her blue dress was beautiful, and her golden locks were perfectly curled. Averie wondered, ‘How can someone this pretty and beautiful, be a couch potato at the same time?’.


]]> 2019-11-26 03:33:21 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489885 The plane began to dramatically swing and swoop from side to side and all of the passengers on the plane began to gasp at every movement. There were loud screams of terror that echoed throughout the plane and there were blaring wails coming from all directions. I glanced outside the window only to see that we were right above land and that there could be detrimental damage done. I was terrified. I tried to block out the sound but I couldn’t. Suddenly, I felt the plane dive down at a rapid pace. https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489909 2019-11-26 03:33:30 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416489909 Michelle https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416490077  Everything flew into chaos. The ground crumbled underneath the Seelie and Unseelie courts. The trees in the Summer court shook violently while the icy air in the Winter court blew across the abandoned plains.

In the mist of the pandemonium, the leaders of the Summer and Winter courts gathered in the Wydlwood forest.

“I don’t have time to for this,” said Queen Mag, impatiently. “We need to act now because as we speak, the Winter court is crumbling as we speak.”

“We are highly aware of that Queen Mag. It’s not only your court that’s at danger, it’s ours as well” retorted Queen Titania.

“It’s not my problem. You, fools likely aggravated a hideous beast that is now loose in the Nevernever so whatever you do, don’t you dare drag the Winter court into this.”

“Us? Are you sure that one of your idiot goblins didn’t exacerbate an ugly old witch such as yourself? Don’t you dare throw accusations around at the Summer court.”

“ENOUGH!” boomed King Oberon. “We need to find the culprit sooner than later before both the summer and winter court and destroyed. Time is of the essence.”
]]> 2019-11-26 03:34:39 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416490077 It wasn’t until Derik had fetched the frisbee for the third time, that he noticed that pair of eyes waiting him from the window. Throwing the frisbee back and forth in the front yard carelessly and without thought, just enjoying the summer's day. When Derik went back to get the frisbee he took a lot longer than before. I jogged over as I knew something wasn’t right when I got caught up to him the I saw it, those eyes bigger, brighter, bolder than usual eyes. Derik slowly picked up thee frisbee, eyes glued to those beaming eyes staring right at us and he started to take a step towards those daring eyes. I pulled him back straight away and I knew that didn’t feel right. I whispered, ‘We should go’ and I took one blink and the just like that the eyes were gone. https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416490114  -tayla]]> 2019-11-26 03:34:51 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416490114 Dominique https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416490331 The lights are off. They must be asleep. Now is my chance. I tread softly across the hallway, yet the old wooden floorboards still creak below my feet. I feel my heart rate accelerate as I cautiously open the door to the back room, knowing I am close to my treasure. I open the cupboard where the treasure is hidden, when the lights unexpectedly flicker and turn on. “Jack? Why are you awake at this time of the night?” My mother says in a stern voice.

I say defeatedly, “I was just getting a cookie from the pantry.”
]]> 2019-11-26 03:36:14 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416490331 https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416490954 It was late at night; the sky was pitch black and nothing could be heard. Although, Nathan awoke to a sound, almost like footsteps. The sound puzzled him, no one was home and he was confused as to what it could be. Quietly, he shuffled under the sheets and sat up in his cosy bed. Nathan stepped out and slowly placed his foot on the cold timber floor as he stood up to see what and where the sound was coming from. Step by step the floors creaked as he approached the basement. A cool breeze brushed over him as he walked past the old, broken window. 

]]> 2019-11-26 03:39:39 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416490954 Alicia https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416491041 My brother ran beside me as we tried to reach the dock. Bullets flew everywhere, they only slightly passed our skin. We ran to a goal that we could not give up on reaching just yet. The boats were only a few metres away with hundreds of others surrounding them. We squeezed through the large crowd as we heard a few adults yell “Children on first, all children first.” That call did not change the actions of the adults they would push people into the water to get spots on the boats. There were scratches all over me and my little brother as we tried to squeeze through the large group of people seeking freedom. 

We finally reached the front of the extremely large crowd and I turned around to hug my brother when I could not see them. One moment he was behind me and the next I could not see him. I yelled his name but amongst all the cries from other people I could not hear any possible noise from him. I had two choices I could either, go back into the crowd and try and find him and risk the chance of getting out of Kunduz or I could turn around and leave him behind. I knew what I had to do but it would risk every bit of freedom I had to ever get out of this war and somewhere safe with clean water, fresh food and proper shelter. 

I wanted to get on those boats, more than everything but I knew I had to go find my brother, he was the only family I had left. Just as I was about to go full speed back into the crowd pushing through people, I hear a cry. A very distinct cry that I could relate to be my brothers. My eyes followed were I was hearing his cries and my eyes landed on this man trying to get onto a boat making it look like my brother was his son. My face went red with anger and with all the strength I had I ran over to this man and pushed him away from my brother. And before we knew it we were pushed onto a boat and sailing away from Kunduz with me whispering in my little brothers ear over and over “We’re safe, we’re safe, we’re safe.” 

]]> 2019-11-26 03:40:10 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416491041 Alexia https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416491963 It wasn’t until Derek had fetched the frisbee for the third time, that he noticed the pair of eyes watching him from the window. He was startled by the pair of eyes that stared him down as he jumps over the fence. Derek froze for a moment and quickly ran to grab the frisbee.
 When Derek got back over the fence, he heard the sound of the back door opening. He ran back inside of his house, up the stairs and into his bedroom. He looks out of his window and sees the old man who lives next door to him. He has a bat in his hand and is looking around his yard. Derek closes the curtains and hides in his closets, waiting for his mum to get home. ]]> 2019-11-26 03:45:02 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416491963 https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416492467 It wasn’t until Derek had fetched the frisbee for the third time, that he noticed the pair of eyes watching him from the window. Derek immediately freezes in shock contemplating what to do next. As the person slowly walks away so do the daggering eyes. Forgetting to retrieve the frisbee Derek jumps back over the fence in lightning bolt speed, rushing inside and shutting the door. Oh no Derek thought as he sat on his chair by his window peaking through the closed blinds. I have only been here for a week and already the neighbours are going to hate me Derek thinks to himself as he watches the old lady from next door slowly walk outside and stumble across the frisbee. 
-Steph ]]> 2019-11-26 03:47:38 UTC https://padlet.com/kbalmer4/kgzu7lp0fz1k/wish/416492467